One thing leads to the next and before you know it you are b*tching about your job again. This is not about the occasional complaint or the classic tough-day-in-the-office story.
You are on a full-on, non-stop, binge just complaining and ranting about your job daily.
The crazy thing about it is that it makes you feel horrible. It makes the person listening to you feel horrible. And yet, you find yourself not being able to stop.
It can start off innocently as a bad-boss story where you conveniently play the part of the helpless and clearly wronged victim.
But before you know it, it’s your co-worker, your pay, your passed-over promotion, and even your ridiculous parking spot. You have fallen into hating everything about your job and have spent hours talking about it.
And while you may have gained a posse of sympathizers, you also have blown a month’s worth of peaceful nights.
Worse yet, you have gotten to the point where you never leave work. You take it with you everywhere in your mind. And you brought the worst parts of it into your home, to your family, and planted them into the deepest crevices of your thoughts.
You have b*tched your whole life away.
So while we don’t have to keep phrasing it this way, you know it’s the truth. You have created a serious and unhealthy habit of complaining way too much about your job.
And it’s a habit that needs to stop.
Your job hate is not the real problem. You are.
But that’s okay.
This is not about making you the blame.
It is about making you the solution.
Use these tips to stop excessive work complaining and to take back the joy in your life.
Tip#1: Check-In with How You Really Feel
Before you convince yourself that you will feel better if you just let it out, check-in and see how you feel just before you speak. It’s amazing how even your facial expression will let you know the energy that you are about to emit.
Your eyes begin to squint. Your eyebrows will furl. Sometimes even your jaws will clench. You are ready to really dig into those jerks at work and give them what they deserve. But in reality, you are giving yourself a replay of your bad day in the worst way.
Checking in with yourself you can see if you actually feel good in the process of sharing your bad day.
Relieving any form of trauma is, well, traumatizing.
Unless you truly see a light at the end of the tunnel or a solution being born from the pain, it just is not worth hurting yourself again.
If your boss, your co-worker, or some random customer already made your day terrible, don’t empower them by giving them more of your time and energy.
Release their hold by releasing the memory and refusing to waste your free time-bound to their bad behavior.
Tip #2: Get a Pulse on the Room
You may have all the justified need in the world to release the pain from your mind out into the open. However, your audience may not be a willing participant on the receiving end.
Sometimes it is critically important to lean on others when suffering through life’s challenges. But it is also important to evaluate if you found the right partner to help.
Some family members may be suffering problems of their own at this time. Others may have had the best day of their life and then you show up with a pound of negativity that destroys their whole disposition.
Take a pulse check to see if now is a good time to lean on another’s shoulder.
A good friend or family member will be there for you fully when they are in position to give you their best attention. But pushing your way through can make your bad situation feel even worse.
You will feel better in the process when you feel acknowledged and listened to. You may even get better feedback when your supporter is in the best position to be of support.
In stopping to consider if sharing your bad day is good for another person, you may decide it’s not good for them or for you. #facts
Tip #3: Confide in the Right Person
Make a habit of being selective with who you share your problems with, in general.
Rather than find the one person who will sit and complain until the sun comes up, instead find that friend who finds the bright side to every situation.
Misery loves company but too much misery is just miserable!
Have a confidant who will listen to your problems but then help you find solutions. The experience of finding positive outcomes despite terrible situations can be healing to you both.
More often than not you tell yourself that you want to talk about your problem so you can get it out and get over it.
A good solutionist is going to help you do just that.
Talk out what went wrong. Envision how it could have been better. Potentially address the situation the next day with a positive outcome in mind.
Now together you have transformed a complaint into an improvement opportunity.
Tip #4: Refocus Your Attention
Take a moment to evaluate if what you have to say is better than what you have to experience right in front of you.
Remember, right now you are itching to relive your past. But in your present, you have valuable time to spend with family, friends, your pet, or even your favorite tv show.
Why would you trade all the good in your life to relive one moment of pain that is over?
Even if you have to return to an uncomfortable situation the next day, give yourself the opportunity for peace now.
It may seem like all that you can think about is how horrible work was. But it is worth the effort to create a distraction and set yourself on a different path.
- Play music that you enjoy on your commute home.
- Put on a tv show that makes you laugh.
- Play with your kids.
- Walk your dog.
- Kiss your significant other.
- Call and check in on your mom.
Surround yourself with all the things that are going right in your life and put that ugly work memory on the shelf for now.
Related Article: 7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life
Better yet, tell all those that are important in your life how thankful you are to have them to come home to.
After a bad day, it is life-changing to bask in gratitude for the good that you have.
Even if it takes effort, refocusing your attention is worth the reward of your peace of mind.
Tip #5: Keep Your Home Sacred
For those days where you really have to go through the ugly details of your day, give yourself set boundaries.
All ugly happens outside of the house, but none of it crosses the threshold.
Once you are home all bets are off. You don’t speak about it. Don’t think about it. You will not carry a bad day into your home.
This is not only a blessing to yourself but it is a blessing to all who reside with you.
By making your home a sanctuary, you have declared that you set the tone for what your home represents to you.
You may be paid by your job, but you are living for your household, even if you are a household of one.
Don’t sacrifice the peace of your home for a paycheck.
When you prioritize your home, you simultaneously prioritize yourself and create healthy boundaries that support you.
This self-support will give you the opportunity to recalibrate and to reintroduce calm into an otherwise hectic, stressful day.
It can also serve to put you in a better frame of mind to handle the challenges and burdens that you are facing.
When you rejuvenate, you recharge your battery. And with proper energy and rest, you are less likely to want to complain.
Tip #6: Be a Problem Solver
Rather than complaining with no purpose, put conscious energy into resolving your problems.
Complaining just to complain rarely is a fix to any problem.
But assessing a problem situation with the intention to create a more positive outcome is worth your investment.
If your boss communicates with you disrespectfully, how can you be the catalyst for better communication? Maybe they don’t know how you feel and you can take the courage to share the impact their words have on you.
Or it could be that a co-worker seems to never keep up with their work and it impacts your workload. You could attempt to work collaboratively with them to create an improved workstream.
Your pay may be embarrassingly lower than others who do what you do. You could approach your boss or your HR representative to see if it is possible for a change.
Instead of demanding fairness, which you may deserve, you can first explore to gain an understanding. There may be a reason for the discrepancy or you may have to face that your work output is not on the same level as someone else’s.
Each of these situations presents somewhat easy solutions. But the problems that you just can’t stop talking about often are difficult, repeated, and truly disruptive experiences.
Even the toughest problems can have real solutions if you seek to find them.
When necessary, seek out counsel, gain professional support, or get advice from others with more influence. You may even have to strategize on how to leave your job if there is no resolution within your job.
Related Article: How to Know It is Time for a Job Change
The goal is to solve your issue instead of sitting in the mode of constant complaining.
Taking an active role to improve your situation is an act of giving to yourself. And this is a much better solution than taking away your peace through constant complaining.
Anyone can find a reason to complain about their job. As long as you work alongside people, you can expect imperfection. It is what makes us human.
But constant excessive complaining is just b*tching. It is unproductive, stress-producing, and leads to making a bad situation worse.
Make a choice starting today if you want to continue to just complain or actually improve your work situation.
Create a standard that your terrible work life is not going to spoil your entire life. And become the catalyst for positive change instead of the center of negative attention.
Only you can take the steps to remove the negativity from your day-to-day.
When you stop saying that it’s your job’s fault and instead make it your responsibility, you can own the type of day you have.
Stop complaining and create solutions to remove the complaints from your daily habits. You and those around you will be better for it.