How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

When you possess a natural helping spirit, you give to others in the most supportive way as part of who you are.  And your intent is always to be of true and genuine help.

But, unfortunately, the best intentions can land differently than expected.  And you not only can connect poorly with another but also give so much that you hurt yourself.

Examine who you are as a helper.  Acknowledge both your gifts and your challenges.  And become an even better helper to yourself and everyone else in the process.

Why Helping Your Calling

Not everyone has the helping spirit.  Even the nicest individuals may be focused on other deeds than helping others.  Or, more often, nice people do not realize how much they help others and do not call themselves helpers.

But some of us gain a genuine joy in helping and supporting. 

To provide a helping hand to a person and animal or even the environment when needed sparks an indescribable joy and energy that lights you up.

It does not matter if you get a thank you or if anyone knows that you helped at all.  You know and that is all that matters. 

Your knowing is enough to gain new energy and that feel-good feeling of being of service.

Charitable givers, volunteers, mentors, teachers, donators….the list of titles is lengthy and so are all the good works that come from those that help. 

You are called to perform these actions because you feel a sense of purpose in sharing your gifts with others. 

The calling, or knowing, is that you are supposed to provide what you have to others in order to positively impact another’s well-being. 

And your calling is confirmed in the positivity you gain in the process. 

Helping others is an absolute and unquestioned mission for you.  

What Helping Excellence Looks Like

Whether you are in a helping profession or you are simply a helpful person, you innately strive for excellence in your brand of giving.

Helping excellence takes many forms but starts with the unique ability to combine being introspective, extrospective, and compassionately empathetic. 

When you are introspective you not only know yourself but acknowledge your skills, abilities, or assets of value.  You honor yourself in knowing that you have worth that is worth sharing.

To be extrospective is to demonstrate that you are attentive to absorbing the world around you.  You pay attention to your surroundings and even look beyond your immediate view to understand the context of life and your place in it.

But the key that binds is your compassionate empathy.  This is where all your gifts truly synchronize.

You see your gifts of worth, interpret the needs outside of yourself, and extend yourself to give selflessly to bridge the gaps.  

You understand how you can be a solution and are compelled to make yourself available as a resource.

This remarkable talent and example of character and humanity are what sets helpers apart from all others.  It is a form of excellence that gives true purpose to your body, mind, and spirit.  

Happy Helper vs. People Pleaser

Giving of your talents with heartfelt compassion can be a beautiful experience for both the giver and the receiver.

However, there are times that while a helper can give with the best of intentions, it is not a healthy exchange.

The reality is that helping feels good but when an attempt to help fails, it can feel horrible.

You may have created the perfect solution, but you were impatient to capture all details so you missed the true mark.

It is possible that the receiver of your kind acts was not in the heart space to receive your assistance well.  And instead took your act of kindness as an act of pity or condescending behavior.

You could have had the best and most thoughtful plan, but may have missed the mark on timing.

And while mistakes happen as a normal part of life, when helping fails it can make you feel disconnected and unsure of your ability to give well.

The Birth of a People Pleaser

People pleasing can appear very similar to being a helper but can take a more negative turn if you are not self-aware.

The nature of people-pleasing is that you take specific actions to ensure the result of making another person happy.  It can become toxic when you will take action regardless of the negative impact on your person.

Some people develop this pattern at a very young age, attempting to please overly strict or aggressive parents or other influencers. 

Others develop this behavior as a result of their work or school environments as a means to ensure positive achievement or acknowledgment.

But often failed helpers will turn into people pleasers.  Particularly if a helper has inadvertently experienced a significant instance or pattern of failed attempts to help.

Having experienced a negative or even angry response to their extended help, a helper may overextend looking for ways to fix the failure or make the person happy.

What is worse is that it is hard for an innate helper to see the difference between helping with genuine positive intent or helping for personal gain.

Helpers become people pleasers when they find themselves desperately trying to calm their own anxiety in displeasing someone else. 

They can also become overly focused on being seen or treated in a positive way in response to their giving.

This unhealthy and imbalanced excessive preoccupation with giving can be detrimental to your mental health, financial stability, or your physical well-being.

When helping hurts then somewhere the helping excellence equation has been thrown off balance.

What to Do When Helping Hurts

The hurts from overhelping can be reversed.  Depending on the length of time this pattern has gone unchecked, it can take time.

All helpers should develop the habit of being a good giver to themselves.

This is represented by an honest self-assessment of whether or not helping still feels good.  And also recognition of whether or not you are still a happy giver.

More often than you may want to admit, helping can start to feel bad.  You give when you are tired or when your resources are too low to sustain yourself.

You may also develop an obsessive tendency to gain positive feedback from others or your own personal dopamine charge from the act of helping.

The habit of giving turned into a giving compulsion can have significant detrimental effects on you.

Dedicate time to the practice of self-care.  Know and embody the understanding that only when your tank is full can you give to others at your best.

If being an expert helper is your goal, then respect that only a healthy helper can excel at helping. 

Also, to give when you are not at your best degrades the quality of what you give.

And a true helper wants to give to another the best that they have to offer always.

While it may seem counter-intuitive and hard to retrain, giving to yourself first makes your helping stronger and more effective.  

Great Helpers Accept Help

Another means to support your helping health is to lean on others.

Having people that you love and trust tell you when you may be going too far is important.  In the midst of your helping frenzy, you may lose yourself in the process. 

An accountability partner can assist in providing you with another point of view regarding your personal well-being status.

Seasoned helpers can have a never-ending list of ideas on how to help.  It is also essential to seize the opportunity to let others be expert doers when you may be a visionary expert.

You do not have to have the vision and make it happen all by yourself.

Permitting others to be a part of the process is another form of giving. 

Through your vision and inspiring energy, you create opportunities for others to participate in the helping process.

Because you know how to give you provide an excellent opportunity to teach others and to create more helping hands for the future.

Related Article:  How to Energize and Maximize Your Giving Spirit

Keeping Your Passion for Helping

If you are a natural helper but suffering from helpers’ burnout you may find yourself in the strange place of needing a charge to your helping spirit.

You may also be trying to balance your self-care with your care for others for the first time and feel confused in the process.

Be reminded and take pride that your unique gifts serve the world in a special way and continue to be needed.

Give yourself permission to experience all the benefits that your helping gift provides to others and yourself:

  • Reflecting on positive past experiences where you well demonstrated your gift of help.  See the smiles and gratitude in others and remember your own feelings of gratification.
  • Save any memories of gratitude you may receive such as cards, gifts, or smiling photos, and review them as part of your self-care regimen.  Congratulate yourself for all the help you have extended to others.
  • Affirm to yourself how you have grown to be an excellent helper and all the ways that you help others.  You are not the same person you were when you helped for the first time. Your helping gifts are likely overflowing when you truly reflect on all of them.
  • Have close friends and confidants to confide in when you feel unsure and let others remind you of your beautiful spirit.  Don’t worry. They won’t think you are being prideful.  The best partners know when you need a boost and will be more than happy to remind you how truly wonderful you are.  And you deserve to hear it, especially when you need it.
  • Take a moment just to be grateful.  Be thankful for your helping gifts and talents and all the experiences that they have provided you.  You have been given an exceptional way to live your life and not everyone can experience what helping as given to you.


If you are a natural helper then you should know that you possess a unique gift of giving to others. 

That gift is worth special care and attention as it serves an important need to the world.  No matter how big or small your contribution, your help can be critical to another.

Knowing how to give to yourself so that you are in the best mental, physical, and spiritual health to help is important.  And recognizing the signs when you need to receive help is just as important as the help you give.

Balancing your view of yourself, all that surrounds you, and the empathetic compassion that you extend to others can be challenging at times. 

But when you master this synchronicity, you can excel in living your purpose and helping others to the best of your ability.

How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

Self-worth journaling prompts can assist when knowing your self-worth does not come easy.  That knowing and acceptance can be hard for many of us.

In our early beginnings, we may learn self-worth based on the reaction and input of others. 

Before our language, critical thought, and interpretation mature we may look to others for our definition of value.

And based on others’ definitions, we may see certain aspects of ourselves as worthy or unworthy.

Through the years as we grow, we then begin to create our own definitions. 

Now coming into an understanding of ourselves, we may seek self-worth but not always have it.  The patterns of thoughts and beliefs received from others can train an unworthy automatic response.

We see ourselves as less than others.  Our ideas and opinions become insignificant due to the reaction or opinion of others. 

The ability to have what we want, do as we want, or be who we want is decided by something other than ourselves.

To reclaim our place of prominence in our own lives, it is necessary that we know and live in accordance with our own sense of worth.

Why Is Self-Worth Important?

Having self-worth at its very basic level is represented by our self-care.  To act as if you are of worth or value means to provide care toward yourself as if you are of value.

This can start as simple as basic personal hygiene, nutrition, how you rest, and how you attend to any personal problem or ailment. 

It can also be represented by how you speak to yourself, acknowledge your strengths and positive attributes, or simply love yourself out loud.

Do you take care of yourself? 

Do you prioritize your well-being?

Are you worthy of care?

Do you see acknowledging your self-worth as important?

The importance of self-worth is that you are the lead of your own definition.  You live life in accordance with how you define you want to live it.

In living as you deem right for you, you honor your feelings, your interpretation of yourself, and your opinion. 

When you take accountability and ownership for who and what you are in accordance with your definition, you essentially create you.

Having self-worth benefits you because with it you are wholly created in your own defined self-image. 

You can define the parameters and live as healthy as you choose mind, body, and spirit. 

How Does Journaling Support Your Self-Worth?

Journaling provides an opportunity to record your own thoughts and ideas.  It is a method to capture what you think and believe without outside interference. 

Your thoughts and ideas may have been influenced by others. 

However, through journaling, you have the opportunity to express any thought and to examine if you want to hold it as true or important to you.

Rather than live through auto-pilot, journaling permits the opportunity to pause and reflect on the thoughts that come to you.

Using the journaling process, you can consider the subject of your self-worth and your personal thoughts, ideas, and feelings on all aspects of your lie.

With this self-examination, you can determine where you feel vulnerable or misaligned in your life.  How much have you permitted the outside world to misdirect your internal thoughts of yourself?

Decide if you want to address these insecurities and improve your personal well-being.

Even if you are unwilling to change, you can make peace with your vulnerabilities and embrace who you are with them.

If you do not like your vulnerability and the emotions that come with it, you can choose to make a conscious and intentional plan of improvement.

On either path, journaling can serve as a resource.

You can write where you are, where you would like to be, and your plan for the journey in-between.

With regular journaling, you can unlock how you walk your life’s path and identify if you need to change direction on a daily basis.

What Are Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth?

Journaling prompts for self-worth help to inspire thoughts around your definition of self-worth and self-value.

With this inspiration, you have the opportunity to evaluate how you define your value to yourself. 

You can bring clarity to the actions you take or withdraw from based on your self-opinion. Look closely to determine if you have patterns that do not serve you or that are made primarily to please others at your expense.

You will discover that even the smallest daily actions can be clues to define how your define your personal value.

There are no absolute rules to self-worth other than the ones that you make for yourself.

You may find what you have learned as self-worth in the past is not what you agree with as your definition today. 

Determine if you actually have a definition but maybe you are not practicing it actively in your life. 

You may also learn that there are situations in your life where you honor your self-worth well. It is important to identify, intentionally repeat, and honor these practices.  

Journaling prompts targeted specifically around self-worth will help to call out these situations and give you space to reflect upon them. 

In this way, while you will use prompts to begin the internal conversation, you will lead the way to your own self-discovery.

20 Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

  1. What is the best compliment you have given yourself or received from someone else?
  2. What is important to you in life?
  3. Without overthinking it, what is your opinion of yourself?
  4. What is your biggest accomplishment and how did you achieve it?
  5. What are the best attributes of your closest friends?  Do you share the same ones?
  6. Who do you admire the most and why? Do you have similar characteristics?
  7. What do you do that makes you most proud?
  8. What is an example of you at your best?
  9. If you could be, do, or have anything in world, what is top on your wish list? Why?
  10. Do you take time to care for yourself?
  11. In what ways are you exceptional?  In which ways do you want to be exceptional?
  12. When you love and/or respect someone else, how do you show it?
  13. The last time you took care of yourself, what did you do and how did you feel about it?
  14. If you made a self-date, what would you do?
  15. What do you aspire to be?  Do you believe you are capable of being what you dream? Why?
  16. What positive statement do you say to yourself often? If you made a new one, what would it be?
  17. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your strengths?
  18. When have you truly showed your kindness?
  19. What is it like to be your friend?
  20. What is your definition of self-worth? Do you live this definition?

Responding to Your Journal Prompts

You can utilize the journal prompts here, research others, or make your own. 

In all cases when responding to your journal prompts, you want to be open and honest with yourself.

Some questions may seem easy and straightforward, others may be difficult to answer.  You may find it easy to reflect upon the positives in your past but not in your now. 

Sometimes you will not find your positive attributes right on the surface. But searching for even the smallest compliment can cause more to come to light.

When it’s hard to compliment yourself or recall positive interaction with others, for example, don’t skip the prompt.  Instead, look at the situation deeper.

How would you like things to be?

What would be an ideal outcome?

How can you impact your now so that what you truly want becomes your now or your future?

Taking these steps helps to uncover your definition and crystalize your ideas of self-worth and how it applies to you.

To this end, when you have good experiences, memories, or thoughts of yourself, do not shy away from them. 

Spend time on the subject.

 Write pages and pages if you can. 

Take the time to bask in what is brilliant about you. 

This time taken to relish in the best parts of you helps to further strengthen the foundation of your self-worth.


Self-worth journal prompts can help to define your values, your opinions, and essentially your voice in the world.

When you have a solid definition created by you of your self-worth, it helps you define who and what you are. 

Your valuing of yourself is what makes you healthy, mind, body, and spirit. And it helps you to healthfully interact with others.

Taking the time to journal permits you the opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and feelings and to gain better clarity of how self-worth is defined by you.

Any version of self-reflection and introspection can provide a better knowledge of yourself and your interpretation of the world around you.

Self-worth journal prompts can lend to you knowing yourself well and valuing your uniqueness in a deeper and more impactful way.

You deserve to be valued, and the most important person to know and show your worth is yourself.

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Wake Up Brand New By Creating a Sleep Ritual

Wake Up Brand New By Creating a Sleep Ritual

Do you have a sleep ritual?

If not, you may want to explore creating a sleep ritual and unlocking the power of rest and its impact on your life.

A sleep ritual blends the consistency and expectation of regimen together with the sanctity and reverence of ceremony. 

Sleep provides rejuvenation of the body and a clearing and clarity to the mind. This mental, physical and spiritual daily cleansing is vital to your wholeness and healthfulness.  

An optimal sleep ritual involves preparation, participation, and reflection of your process. 

The ultimate goal is restful and rejuvenating sleep that, when achieved on a regular basis, creates the foundation for a strong wakeful day ahead. 

Particularly through the preparation and reflection processes, the evaluation of the effectiveness of the ritual can be determined. If your sleep ritual is not effective then you have no true ritual to follow.


Before engaging in a sleep ritual, it is necessary to set the mood and intention of restful sleep.

Every person has different conditions that support their ability to fall asleep productively. 

And these conditions may change based on individual personality, the structure of the sleeping area, and even the bodily conditions of the person.

Evaluate your needs to create an environment conducive to restful sleep.

1. Preparing Your Body for Sleep

The body performs many different functions throughout your wakeful day.  For this reason, it is necessary to trigger the transition that signals sleep preparation has begun.

This could include taking a hot bath or shower.  You could also use warmed oils or lotions when preparing for bed.

The clothing that you wear should keep your body temperature comfortable for sleep.

If possible, you can receive a massage from your significant other. Or perform a massage on yourself to relax your muscles and release tensions.

You can perform a yoga practice specifically designed for the evening.  Alternatively, you can engage in a series of stretching exercises to loosen and relax the body.

Any or all of these steps can create an expectation that you have moved from an active body state to a still or calmed body state.  Conducting this regimen regularly will ritualize the process of relaxation before bed as preparation for sleep.

2. Sleep Environment Preparation

To ensure a restful, full night of sleep, you want to create a soothing and comfortable environment.  The steps to create this may change from one night to the next based on the exact place, time, and other occupants in your space.

Confirm that your room temperature is warm or cool enough for your personal comfort.

Address any ambient noises that are in your space.  If these sounds cannot be controlled, consider using earplugs or finding access to white noise to camouflage the unwanted.  

If you sleep with another person, attempt to coordinate in advance if you will sleep the same schedule as your mate.  The movement of another person in or out of your bed can cause interruption to your sleep continuity.

If this cannot be avoided, you may consider sleeping in an alternative space until you create a consistent sleep routine, particularly if you have had significant prior sleep concerns.

Lights, cellphones, a television, and other electronics can cause disruption or unwanted alertness.  Remove or turn off any items that signal wakefulness to your mind and body and engage only with those that will signal restfulness.

You may use a diffuser or a candle warmer to engage in aromatherapy as a means to trigger relaxation. Scents such as lavender, chamomile, sandalwood, or cedarwood can well complement a soothing atmosphere.

Your sleep ritual can be heavily influenced by your environment but when mastered your environment preparation can be the ideal catalyst for deep sleep.

3. Nighttime Activity Before Sleep

Your sleep ritual is focused on relaxation of your mind and body but does not only include relaxing activity.

In order to settle an overactive body and mind, it can be helpful to engage in activities that signal a wind-down towards relaxation.

If you initiate the activity several hours before sleep, you can engage in a rigorous exercise routine.  While this may stimulate alertness soon after completion, over time your body will look to replenish and recover and can then create strong signals for rest.

A less intensive activity is home cleaning and organization

To ensure that you feel mentally settled, you may want to engage in 30 to 60 minutes of house cleaning.  Removal of clutter and setting organization can be a form of mental calming and anxiety reduction.

An even lighter activity that can stimulate a pre-rest status is to read a book or to engage in watching television.  While either can engage your attention, the key is to choose lightly stimulating content. 

Feel-good storylines, laughter, hopeful and positive plots can improve mood and serve as an easy transition point towards relaxation.

4. Evaluate Your Mental Status Before Sleep

Creating the mental space for sleep is as important as all the other elements.

The pressures of the day can build anxiety, stress, racing thoughts, and hyperactivity.

These high-intensity mental states can be counterproductive to sleeping or achieving levels of deep sleep.

Taking steps to slow the mind and settle the flow of thoughts that you generate can lay the groundwork for sleep readiness.

Journaling can serve to relieve the mind of any burdensome thoughts.  It can also be used to focus on the good within your day, elevating your spirits, and setting a tone of gratitude.

Listening to soft music or actively using binaural beats can help to ready and stimulate sleep. This form of sound healing can work in partnership with your relaxation practices and set expectation for your mind to rest.

There are also many forms of meditation that can serve to ready the mind and body for sleep.  If experienced with a meditation practice you may simply sit in silence for 10 or 15 minutes using your breath as your focal point. 

Alternatively, guided meditation can walk you through a path toward internal downshifting and thought cleansing, calming active thought, and introducing mental silence.

This shift towards mental cleansing and intentional positive experience can melt your stresses and signal transition toward relaxation and sleep preparedness.


Committing to your sleep ritual marks your promise to honor, elevate, and revere the importance of sleep toward your total well-being.

Now that you have considered all elements of your sleep ritual preparedness, you can plan to initiate your sleep ritual.

1. Plan Your Sleep Ritual in Advance

Examining all the details collected from your preparation steps, incorporate those most meaningful to you into your sleep ritual.

Especially when creating a new sleep ritual, take time to put all the important steps to your ritual in writing.  Use a special notebook, writing paper, or even scroll to capture your process.

You can note your ideal room temperature.  Gather your ceremonial bedtime clothing.  You may even have a set towel to use after bathing or certain bed linen to commemorate the initiation of your sleep ritual practice.

Structure your process so that you build consistency

Make all steps achievable and repeatable. 

Do not feel that you must try everything. 

And certainly, do not cause yourself stress when establishing your process.

When you have all steps outlined, silently set the intention of regular restful sleep

You can even light a candle or close your eyes and take a healing breath to signify your commitment to your intention.

2. Undergo Your Sleep Ritual as Sacred Ceremony

Follow your sleep ritual with reverence and loyalty to each step.

Elevating the importance of your sleep ritual is an indication of self-care and self-love by way of honoring your sleep.

As you step through one action to the next, be mindful that all actions you are taking are in support of your sleep and self-preservation.

Take time to ensure that you have the proper materials for each action or, if not, pause to gather them.  There is no need to rush as the goal is to slow and come to rest.

Be flexible as you are developing this ritual as all things may not be perfectly smooth from the beginning.  Be watchful for any necessary adjustments to make the process easy flowing.

Eliminate any actions that seem laborsome.  Add any new actions that enhance your process.

But once your action item list is finalized, stay true to following your process each night and, if at all possible, at the same time.

Your sleep ritual should become habit-forming and be as if a recipe for your most restful sleep.

Be open to communicating to others your sleep ritual, especially those you may live with.  It is not necessary to share all parts in detail. 

But be sure to establish to others the sanctity and necessity of your process towards sleep. Part of your sleep ritual reverence is to ensure that others have reverence to not disturb your process.


Evaluating the effectiveness of your sleep ritual gives the opportunity to optimize what works well and the flexibility to change what doesn’t. All actions to achieve the goal of optimal rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation by design.

This is the opportunity to review your process for the ultimate goal of quality sleep.

If you can achieve your sleep goal, you have provided yourself with a means to bring together mind, body, and spirit and elevate your total state of consciousness.

Be free to accentuate the most meaningful parts of your ritual.

If you enjoy your meditation, be open to lengthening the process or trial other meditative options. 

You may create a playlist of rest-ready music or utilize different stretching techniques to relax your body. 

Be mindful throughout the process.  Stay consistent in the core steps of your practice

Honor your ritual daily regardless of the day of the week or outside circumstances.

Take the opportunity to reflect upon your work in creating this ritual of health and to acknowledge your care for yourself.

If you have not been successful in creating a smooth sleep ritual or you cannot consistently commit to your practice, examine why.

Eliminate blockers with compassion for yourself and the process.  Examine ways for improvement and be open to eliminating even the most desired components that are not practical.

Explore ideas beyond those suggested above and make adjustments that best meet your rest intentions.

Above all learn what you can through the reflection process to customize your sleep ritual to be both effective and enjoyable to you.


A sleep ritual can be an enriching and rewarding process leading to the well-balancing of mind, body, and spirit through rest.

If you can well incorporate both the ceremony and consistency of your sleep ritual through preparation, participation, and reflection, you can reap the benefits of this sacred process.

Tailoring each component of your sleep ritual through careful self-observation and exploration can lend to the precision of its makeup.

Honoring your need for a consistent sleep ritual with yourself and with others can only lend to its effectiveness and the sustainability of your process.

A well-crafted sleep ritual will serve you by rejuvenating your mind, body, and spirit and preparing you to initiate your days in the most optimal state.

Do you have a trusted practice as part of your sleep ritual? Share it in the comments below to help others reach their rest and rejuvenation goals.

See these related posts to unlock the power of intentional practices in your life:

A Pro’s Guide on How to Journal Effectively

A Pro’s Guide on How to Journal Effectively

Starting a journal can seem pretty simple, but journaling effectively can be challenging.

There is no absolute right way to journal, but even in your free spirit of writing you can feel as if you should be doing something more.

Effective journaling can elevate your journaling practice where you gain a heightened sense of self-awareness and a useful vehicle for self-improvement.

Knowing what you can gain out of the experience and how to achieve it can help to give your journaling practice true momentum.

The Benefits of Effective Journaling

Effective journaling can provide a regimen of self-expression, self-reflection, and awareness.  The benefits that come with a regular journaling practice can include, but are not limited to, a:

  • method to release and relinquish thoughts or problems that may be repeating themselves in your mind
  • means to pour out ideas, solutions, or stalemates that have no other opportunity for release or expression in your daily life
  • place to put private queries and soul-searching questions of what you want out of your life
  • useful tool to document the special moments in your life, recording your impressions of your experiences and reflecting on your relationship with those who are close or special to you.

All of these uses and more can provide personal benefit and self-development through your investment of time and energy when journaling.

What is even more beneficial is how much regular expression could potentially grow to become a therapeutic, emotionally-balancing, and calming practice positively impacting your daily life.

The following steps will put you on your path to begin owning your highly effective journaling practice.

Establish Why You Want to Start Journaling

As mentioned, journaling has a countless number of uses and therefore there can be countless reasons why you would want to start. 

However, narrowing your purpose to 1 or 2 reasons of why journaling and its benefits are important to you is important.

You want there to be a purpose behind the process that motivates you to start and to regularly commit to interjecting an additional new task into your life. 

Set your direction to reach your destination

Journaling does not have to be rigid and regimented and can be purely for enjoyment. 

However, as with all commitments, you want to put yourself in the best place to finish what you have started to gain the most value.

Establishing your why puts you in a good place for focus and direction within your journaling practice.

What Is Your “Why” That Motivates Your Motion?

You may have considered journaling for your own creative expression and simply to enjoy the act of writing your thoughts. 

Journaling could have been presented to you by a good friend or even a therapist as a way to release your emotions and ideas in a constructive way.

Maybe you received a beautiful journal as a gift and decided you wanted to put it to good use.

Beauty can inspire action

In all cases, be clear to yourself why you are journaling and what you would like to gain from the effort. 

You can only define how effective you are if you first determine your goal with the journaling process.

Define what you see as your rewarding experience and enjoy the process of reaching it through journaling.

Create a Journaling Atmosphere

Your journaling atmosphere is one that is set for the purpose and easy flow of your self-expression.

This is your time with you, your thoughts, your ideas, and your emotions. 

Your space for journaling should be one that gives you the freedom to express all that you need to and the comfort to do so without distraction or concern.

Any little corner can be your special space to spend time with you

While the process of identifying your space does not have to be elaborate, it does at least require thought to set the proper direction.

The Right Space Supports Writing Flow

Journaling is not a contact sport, but it is amazing how many people you will come in contact with the moment you sit and start to write.

Interruptions can be an inside job, at times.  To-do lists and conversation replays can clutter your thoughts and cause distraction.

However, it can be even harder to control outside interruptions that interfere with your writing flow.

You may consider early morning or late evening as your journaling time. 

Or any alternative when a spouse, a child, or other family and friends are less likely to look to connect with you.

Make a point not to answer your phone, check emails, or become distracted with unnecessary to-do items in your eyesight. 

Create focus so that you do not lose focus.

Focus is defined by seeing what you choose not by what chooses to be seen by you

You may be helped by creating a writing regime where you go to a certain place at a certain time, bring your journaling materials, and even have a favorite beverage handy.

When all the same familiar pieces are in line you know it’s writing time.

Your environment should be comfortable, easily duplicatable, and functional. 

You can certainly have more than one space and likely will benefit from the flexibility should your go-to area become unavailable.

The overall goal is to set space for your journaling and create an atmosphere to let your words come from you freely.

Creating space for your self-expression is as important as the expression itself.

Define Your Journaling Method

Now that you have determined your reason for journaling and created space to undergo the process, it’s time to get the deed done.

Journaling is essentially recordkeeping and you get to decide the best method to capture your records.

Finding the journaling method that appeals most to you will make the process more enjoyable and one that you will want to return to.

The variations to the process are many and can be customized to meet your needs, preferences, and interests. 

Enjoy the Freedom of Self-Expression

A common method is to put pen to paper and write your thoughts until you have no more to write. 

Free-writing can be an excellent method to see what is on your mind without overthinking the process.

There is no need to create a priority subject or system of prescribed content. 

You do not have to have a bigger purpose than to empty your head. 

Just write.

After a few days or weeks, you can look back at your content and learn what subjects weigh on your mind the most. 

You can also notice if you trend more positively or negatively in your running thoughts overall. 

The gains from this method are that you are not forcing an outcome. 

Relaxing into the process you can see an honest and transparent reflection of your life that you then can evaluate for yourself.

Prompt Yourself to Express Your Thoughts

Another form of journaling is to use prompts, or introduction statements or questions, that trigger subjects to write about.

You can choose to create your own based on areas you want to attend to more in your life.

Almost like a habit tracker, you may want to capture daily your thoughts on family, work, love life, finances, or health. 

You may also want to keep note of your mood, energy levels, or your strength of focus. 

There are also an innumerable number of standardized prompts that you can respond to, even journals pre-populated with them.  Content may include statements like the ones below.

Find journaling prompts to explore the aspects of your life that you would like to examine closer.

Your investment in certain segments of your life may provide you with greater insight, appreciation, and opportunity for growth.

Get Your Internal Dialogue Out in Front of You

To see yourself differently you first have to be willing to look

Another fruitful journaling process is to engage in self-dialogue.   

How many times have you heard that no one knows you better than you?! Self-dialogue give opportunity to put your self-knowledge to the test.

How do you self-dialogue when journaling? 

One way is to write out all your thoughts, emotions, and insights on a subject that are constantly on your mind. 

Then write out the questions that you seek to resolve around those subjects.

  • Are you confused about what to do next?
  • Or maybe you want to understand why things happened the way they did. 
  • You may question why you made a decision or why someone else did not understand your decision.

No matter the query, once you have written your questions, change your position as if you were listening to the question instead of asking it. 

  • How would you answer the question? 
  • Are there different prospectives to the situation than what you first saw?
  • Is there another conclusion to a problem than the first one you originally came to?
  • Can you be unbiased or less emotional in order to give a more objective response?

You may find that by pushing yourself to answer the questions or finding different prospective, new thoughts and emotions emerge.

Some questions may feel impossible to answer but in your daily life you expect others to answer you and be accountable.

Other questions may be practical and realistic, but difficult to respond to well without more information.

Sometimes asking questions only causes more questions, but even this can be a good learning experience.

Go back and forth in dialogue as both the interviewer and the interviewee. Put yourself in the position to see situations from a dual perspective.  

Get out of your singular point of view. Open up new ways to resolve what on surface could seem as unsolvable problems.

Learn yourself and your pattern of actions in a completely different way.

Permit yourself to be the guide to your life’s questions through self-dialogue. Build your confidence in solving issues independently.

Take opportunity to gain more trust in yourself to be objective. And regularly explore more comprehensive views regarding your life decisions.

Let What Works Lead You When Journaling

These are just samples of different journal methods you can explore. You can use a single style or allows different methods to blend as you see fit.

Self-dialogue can be interspersed in your free-writing or can be the entirety of your writing style. Journaling prompts may trigger an exploration of self-dialogue depending on the topic.

You may choose to keep a consistent journaling method as means to train your consistency or it can vary daily .

Do not feel confined to stick to a certain structure versus staying consistent with the process overall.

It is much more important that you journal regularly as a means to make the process truly effective. 

How you choose to journal is for you to define by what works best for you.

Consider Your Journaling Tools

Part of making journaling consistent can be the method that you capture your thoughts.

Writing is a brilliant way to bring focus to your thoughts. As you motion out each word in your mind through transfer to paper you can experience a deep personal connection. 

You can use a notebook, legal pad, or an actual journal. 

For some, the look of their journal, its pages, or its color can stimulate the act of writing. 

Even the choice of pen can make a difference.

These finer-tuned details all lead to making the process one that you want to come back to again and again. 

Not everyone enjoys the exercise of writing and can even experience pain from over-writing.

If this is your case, you may enjoy using a digital journal if you prefer to type instead of write.

 When using a digitized version for capturing your thoughts you can use a simple, blank Word document as your canvas. 

Additionally, there are online journaling apps like Penzu and Daybook that are specially designed for journaling.

These apps offer a cloud-based option that creates password access to your content but also flexible access from different devices.

You could also choose to bypass using your hands altogether and instead use a speak-to-text app to create your notetaking.

In all cases, you want to create a system that is easy to use and easy to refer back to should you want to re-examine your thoughts at a future time.

The means of capturing your thoughts is not as important as capturing the words themselves. 

Your self-expression needs a place to reside that is meaningful and safe for you.  Whether spoken, digital or created by hand, you will know what works best.

Reflecting on Your Journaled Thoughts

At some point, you may decide to review your journal entries. 

While not a required step, journal entry review can be another means to make the journaling process effective.

When just beginning your writing journey, you may study your last entry right before starting the next one. 

It is not uncommon that you frequently journal on similar subjects when you first begin.

However, there can also be advantages to putting space between review periods. 

Having intervals of weekly or monthly review can provide an opportunity to allow trends to build and problem-resolution to occur. 

  • Do you have people or events in your life that spark immediate joy?
  • Are there deep problems that seem to just never get resolved?
  • Have you developed creative ways to handle your daily life challenges?

You may know yourself better once you are recording your thoughts and reviewing your stories at regular intervals. 

So much can happen in a day that in an instant you forget most of it

Reflecting Can Bring Light to Your Life

So often life happens and we just let it happen. 

We unconsciously go through the motions and do not realize our ups and downs, our challenges, or our champion-moments that make up who we are.

Journaling creates an outlet for our thoughts and opinions but also evidence of our diverse and unique life experiences.

Because you know your thoughts, actions, and ideas more, you may use this information to change your life in the future.

After reviewing your entries you may make a plan to intentionally spend more time with certain people or on certain activities that make your life worth living.

You may also highlight areas of opportunity for your own personal growth and learning.

Don’t pressure yourself to make anything happen, however.

Sometimes your journaling will be nothing more than a mental release of chatter in your mind. 

And nothing needs to come of it other than to permit the release.

The goal is not to fix you or to capture your every move. Instead, it is simply to develop a healthy self-awareness, a productive mental cleansing, and to reach your defined goals of an effective journaling process.


Journaling is a tool of self-expression that can be most effectively used for mental clarity, internal problem resolution, and improved self-awareness.

You can become effective with your journaling efforts by establishing exactly why journaling is important to you. And equally necessary is noting what you want to gain from the process.

By setting your space, determining what method you want to use, and taking time to review your entries, you can gain the best experience of your journaling practice.

To be effective in journaling, identify your goal, commit to the process, and trust that the expression of your thoughts will help deepen your self-awareness and life experience overall.

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How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self Worth

The Perfect Self Love Tips to Change Your Life

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If you have journaling techniques that have been life-changing for your, please share your input in the Comments section. What works for you may work perfectly for someone else too!

The Perfect Self-Love Tips to Change Your Life

The Perfect Self-Love Tips to Change Your Life

The practice of self-love will change your life.  

It is the connection between your physical self and your spiritual self. 

Self-love is your relationship with Spirit manifested by you and channeled through you. 

When you are able to focus your attention on yourself and to purposely flow love upon yourself, you have become boundless in your ability to experience love. 

It is for this reason that self-love is the ultimate expression of love for you that can be exceeded by no other.

“Self-love is the ultimate expression of love for you that can be exceeded by no other”

Exploring ways of tangibly demonstrating love towards yourself is both intimate and personal. 

Each one of us defines love in accordance with our own values and emotional definitions. 

We feel love differently. 

We express love differently.

We define love differently.

And because of this we collectively create an expansive experience of love that we can each share.

The ideas are as boundless as the pool of self-love itself.  To connect with this knowing, read through these ideas and tips on self-love and choose what resonates with you. 

This is not a checklist with actions to be completed but an idea bank to inspire your personal expression of love for yourself.

How to Practice Self-Love Through Words & Communication

Communication of love to yourself brings idea, thought, word, and sound together. It is the harmonizing the celebration of you. 

Take a moment when life is not a distraction and say ideas to yourself of why you are loveable. 

Reflect on thoughts of your loving ways as recognized by others. 

Write loving statements to yourself as if writing a love letter. 

It may feel different, but take time to put into written words the love you see in you.

Then take the process a step further. Read your love letter to yourself every day. 

Find a quiet space where no one is around to hear you but you. 

Sit in your car or wait until the house is empty.  Whisper your love letter while the dryer masks your voice. 

But never miss the moment to say loving words to yourself every day. 

Add to your love letter every time you notice another piece of you that is loveable.  

You are an ever-expanding expression of love.

Capture your words, keep them close, and repeat.  Your self-love lyrics will be life-changing.

How to Practice Self-Love Through Taste & Sensual Pleasure

The sensation of pleasure through taste and smell is lifting to the mind and to the spirit; it touches the soul. 

Create your at-home reservation for breakfast, lunch, or dinner where you can intentionally draw out these pleasurable sensations.

Plan ahead for your event. 

What beverage would you drink that would stimulate your senses?

 Is it the cool bubbliness of sparkling water or the warm, soothing sensation of freshly brewed tea? 

Do you crave the calming yet bitter sensation of a dark wine?

Or do you prefer the energy infusion of a sweet carbonated soda?

Ponder your pleasure, take careful consideration of your sensual needs, and provide this to yourself.

Your exploration of self-love through taste and smell is limited only by your imagination. 

Maybe it is a small taste of 10 different pastries or an expansive platter of exotic cheeses. 

A well-prepared steak with herbs and wine surrounded by a brilliantly vibrant bed of greens can be an inspiration to your palette.

The fragrance of your meal may bring you to salivation while it is cooking in your home.  Or you may choose to purchase and bring your meal home, leaving the expertise of perfection in someone else hands.

Your gifts of pleasure through taste and smell are yours to curate. 

The purpose is to experience your gift as a genuine reflection of your points of pleasure.  You know yourself enough and love yourself enough to bring together all that would be perfect for you.

How to Practice Self-Love Through Self-Reflection

Thinking about yourself in loving ways is its own form of self-love.

Bringing together different moments in your life that represent why you represent love is an awakening. 

See your life as if a movie, taking a close-up look at the small, almost insignificant signs, of the love that you exude without thinking.

You are the giving spirit that gives a $20 bill to a homeless man without a second’s hesitation. 

Remember your warm smile cast across the park when you shared an accidental glance with a woman with tears in her eyes.  You didn’t know what hurt, but you thought a soft smile might help. 

You are the one who gave up your place in line, your seat on the bus, your question in class and permitted someone else to have their needs met before your own.

You are the wonder that changes the world every single day in every single way.

Take the moment to recognize the love that you are to your family, to your friends, even to strangers. You are also that loving spirit to yourself. 

Reflect on How Well You Love You

Recall when you didn’t answer the phone as you prioritized making your bath water and preparing to relax. 

Recant the strong but kindly relayed words that you gave to your boss when you declined to sacrifice your weekend for the job.

Relish in the memory of your scheduled spa day after a hectic holiday week of planning, cooking, and hosting. 

You are a beautiful reflection of love to yourself as well as to the world.

Take the time to bring these instances to mind.  Write them down. Reread your notes.  Celebrate your actions. 

Define love by both who you are and what you do.

Claim your self-love by catching yourself in action. 

You define by your actions what love-in-motion is. And true self-love is acknowledging yourself and showing yourself appreciation for your loving nature.

How to Practice Self-Love Through Gifts & Gratitude

You deserve to be gifted.  To be gifted well requires thought, contemplation, and a special knowing of the gift receiver.

A wonderful way to love yourself well is to go through the process of giving to yourself and accepting your own gift with gratitude.

Self gift giving can be large or small.

Save what you can for 3 months, 6 months, or even a year.  Use the outcome of your savings stockpile as a means to acquire a special item especially for you. 

To invest over time permits the opportunity for regular and focused intention. 

See the power in your setting regular intention to invest in giving to you. 

You can also create special gifting moments. 

Create a special morning by placing a bottle of water, bowl of fruit, or scented candle by your bed. 

Wake up in remembrance that you went to sleep with thoughts of making your morning perfect.

Have your favorite treat tucked in your corner cabinet. Put a treasured photo in your planner just to make you smile.

Take a solo drive through a beautiful neighborhood on an early Saturday morning just because it pleases you and gives you peace.

Be creatively kind in showing yourself love with intention.

A Little Self-Love Gift List

  1. Wash your bedsheets with your favorite essential oil or add your favorite scent to your shampoo. 
  2. Gather fresh wildflowers or pine cones in a bowl as your gift of nature to you for your desk or at home.
  3. Take 30 minutes to pull together your favorite love songs playlist that speak to how you love others or, most importantly, how you love yourself. 

Be mindful of the thoughtfulness behind the gifts you give to yourself. 

Let your thoughts reflect what is important to you, what is sentimental to you, and what represents joy in physical form.

You deserve to be seen in love and light and to be shown gratitude for your presence. 

Self-love through gifts and gratitude demonstrates the special knowing of you by you and an opportunity to give self-love in the most special of ways.

How to Practice Self-Love Through Touch and Stimulation

So often it is thought that to enjoy the sensation of touch we must engage something outside of ourselves.  But learning to share kindness with your own body can be the greatest gift of self-love. 

Self-attention through touch can be meaningful and nurturing.

There is an opportunity in each day to slow down, become present, and feel different in our own hands.

Taking a shower provides space to wash your hair and provide yourself a scalp massage. 

Especially using the soft elixir of a fragrant conditioner, both your head and your hands can enjoy the process.

Consider the process of cleansing your body with intention. 

Attending to every part of you can be a lovely way to say that every part of you is important.  Know the feel of each part of your body, especially those parts that may not always get attention. 

The feel of your elbow, different than your knee, or the heel of your foot.  It’s all you and you know yourself inch by inch.

After exiting a bath or shower, you can give time to provide yourself a full body massage with oils and creams. 

A beautiful expression of self-love and personal attention can be had through Ayurvedic self-massage.

Combining the care and caress of your skin with the relaxation of your muscles can be refreshing. 

Placing the kindness of your body in your own hands can be a perfect expression of self-love one touch at a time.

Your attention to every subtle detail is how your self-love commitment comes to life.


The practice of self-love is an important expression of love especially for you by you.

When you are able to define what love is and then extend this to yourself you provide an endless channel of loving experiences for yourself.

Prioritize self-love to know and appreciate yourself more and to provide opportunities for more kindness, calm, beauty, and special memories in your life.

You are the most important person in your life. Take action to show your importance to yourself and see that by being better to yourself you are better overall.

Start applying these self-love tips today and see how self-love is life-changing.

Related Posts:

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How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

Many of us face the daily challenges of a demanding work environment.   It is vital that you have in place a way to recharge your battery and find peace, focus, comfort, and rest. Creating an at-work sanctuary is one way to take command of the environment you want to have and not just suffer in the one that arose around you.

Start with the Most Important Space – Your Mental Space

When the 10,000 monkeys jump on your back, it can be hard to believe that peace or focus is anywhere in sight.

To create a reality of calm, you first have to believe in one.

Deep Breathing Soothes the Mind

Before you let all the deadlines and demands cloud your mental space, take a deep breath.  Follow this with 3 more.  Slow, long, even, purposeful breaths are the consistent and sure way to induce calm.

Taking a moment for deep breathing can bring you back to your internal focus.  Moving your focus back to you instead of everything around you can give opportunity to reframe your thinking.

Now that you are present, you can address a realistic plan of action of what comes next.

You are always in the driver’s seat but only when you put yourself in it.

Affirmations Focus the Mind

Another method to reframe your thinking is through affirmations.

Affirming what you intend to experience is a powerful way to reclaim your power over your surroundings.

It is a careful and thoughtful process as you don’t want to convince yourself of anything you don’t believe to be real. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t affirm things that have not yet become. 

Practice through affirmation your focus on what is and what you believe will be.

Affirmations When Dealing with Stress at Work

Create your own affirmations with meaningful words that bring back your focus.

When at a loss for words, tap into other creators and artists who have drafted affirmations and adopt them for yourself. 

Enjoy different ways to experience affirmations, such as those set to music, and repeat mentally as you listen.

Musical memories can have a way to transport you to positive experiences very quickly.

Experiment with these Affirmation artists and see if you become transported in listening to their mix of music and meaningful words affirming yourself to you.

Music lyrics, poems, and quotes can be transitioned to affirmations or mantras that act as a touchstone in midst of stress.  These can be particularly helpful when you are very familiar with the lyrics or prose. 

The goal is to take control of your monkey mind and dispel any negative thoughts or emotional build-up. 

Your mental sanctuary is one that you can create anywhere, including work, when facing stress.

Create Calm in Your Workspace

Your physical surroundings are a reflection of your internal state of being.

Creating sanctuary within your physical workspace provides opportunity for you to purposefully build calm and serenity.

Organization is Cleansing

Stress can build when you do not have your space in the order that best serves you. 

Viewing clutter, searching for materials, or working on top of dust and debris can be distracting and demotivating.  Particularly when you are attempting to juggle many priorities, a disorganized space can make your work feel harder to do.  

Create a clean and organized office ritual as means to set the stage for a stress-free day.

Wipe down your desk and office equipment with a softly scented cleaning product. 

Be selective with scents that do not disturb others but at the same time create a positive experience for you.

Products that include essential oils or refreshing scents such as citrus or lavender can help to set the mood of your space while at the same time detoxing it.

Keep Your Body Aligned

The set-up of your workspace is important to feeling your best while you work.  A sanctuary is built on how you feel when in it.

A well-structured work layout can make you feel good while you work.

Ergonomics has long-time been a discipline built to ensure that your work can be completed while supporting your body’s needs simultaneously.

Proper posture while seated can be the difference between chronic pain or comfort. 


The optimal placement of materials like your monitor, keyboard, and mouse ensures that undue stress is not put upon your body.

See this Desk Ergonomic Checklist to review where you may improve your workspace layout and your physical health.

You can also incorporate stretching exercises to relieve tensions held in your body when experiencing stress.

Regular use of stretching techniques can reduce or eliminate pain within the body.  Additionally taking time to engage in stretching can serve as a reminder of your focus on calm within your day.

Let Your Workspace Be a Beauty-Filled Experience

A sanctuary is often defined as an oasis, a place to retreat as you pull away from the rest of the world.

Images, colors, and mementos can serve as that transporting influence when you are looking to escape stress. 

Picture Your Peace

Family photos often adorn offices and serve to bring images of love at arms’ reach.

Other ways to use images are photos of travel destinations, nature, or encouraging words over inspiring pictures.

Strategic placement of photos can also ensure that they have an impact when most needed. 

Ensuring that images are at eye level or on regularly used surfaces can increase the frequency of catching your eye.  Try using photo carousels as your desktop screensaver or a collage layout as the lock screen on your smartphone.

Being creative in providing access to your positive images can provide serenity anywhere that you glance.

Create a Colorful Sanctuary

Colors have been used to inspire and invoke emotion for centuries.  Call upon their power and meaning to pull in the energy you want to experience and repel what you don’t.  

Blue is known to symbolize peace and calm.  White will invoke feelings of simplicity and freshness.  Green is always attached to nature and the wholesome serenity that comes from what is natural.

With the right palette, you can then blend your office accessories, folders, and materials, even your wardrobe with deeper meaning.

See and then consciously remember the meaning behind the colors you place around you.  This will not only reinforce the intention behind the color but serve as a reminder of the emotions you prefer.

Crystalize Your Focus on Peace

Crystals can serve as a powerful influence of peace to your at-work sanctuary.

The use of crystals to make particular energy more pronounced is a timeless practice. 

Some will use their own birthstones as a means to feel a sense of centeredness through stressful times.  However, you can also utilize particular crystals to address certain situations or environmental changes you feel helpful.

Crystals and Gemstones to Use in Your Workspace

Place your selected stones within your line of sight to stay mindful of their influence.

Periodically throughout the day engage with and hold your crystals.   You can even use them simultaneously while repeating your affirmations for an even greater effect.


Investing time in your at-work sanctuary is investing in your daily peace and harmony.

While you cannot control your work environment’s stress levels, you can take actions to infuse peace into your personal workspace.

Evaluate your space and see what changes you can make to improve your environment.  The result of implementing any of these suggestions can lead to creating a sanctuary when most needed in your workday.

If this post has provided you inspiration for your at-work sanctuary, share in the COMMENTS SECTION which idea was most meaningful to you.  Share with other readers what ideas you already have that weren’t included in this post.

And keep us updated on your path to creating more peace at work.

Related Post: 7 Ways to Create Balance in your Imbalanced Life

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Are You Broken Because Your Life Is Not Balanced?

Are You Broken Because Your Life Is Not Balanced?

You need to live a balanced life. Or at least that is what you say to yourself. But where did that idea come from?

Somewhere the narrative created an equation of happy life equals balanced life. There is nothing wrong with that math, except no one shared how to solve the equation.

You can say, “I want to live a balanced life now so that I can be happy now”. 

But what do you do next?

Think of all the questions that come with solving this mystery:

  • What if you don’t know how to become balanced?
  • Can you learn to be balanced or are you just born with it?
  • How do you control the balance in your life if everything that makes you feel imbalanced is someone or something other than you?
  • When do you know that you have achieved balance and, if you do, how do you keep it?
  • Can you live a happy life and not be in balance?

These are just a sample of what comes to mind around the subject of happiness and balance.  The good news is that you are not broken, off track, or a bad person if you don’t know how to answer these questions.

The real answer to all of these questions (and even the ones not asked) is that there is no one answer

So What is Balance?

Based on who you are and where you are on your life’s journey, at times there can be no answer at all.

The truth is that lack of clarity and lack of answers can make being in balance just seem impossible. Therefore it’s the equation that is broken, not you.

But that doesn’t mean that you should just abandon being in balance.

Like anything in life that you may want to pursue, there is the potential in having joy in the journey and in achieving the milestones along the way.

Balance is the opportunity for more joy, more satisfaction, and more zest out of life. If you believe that this version of life is worth pursuing then, yes, you want to have balance in your life.

And it is possible.

Let’s create a milestone together and explore the possibility of a balanced life.

Create Possibility by Definition

You are the only one who can create the definition of balance for your life.

You are the master carpenter erecting this structure in your life.

This empowered position is an excellent starting point toward gaining the joy in your life that you want.  And it is the kick-off point to establishing the balance you want to have.

You get to decide. 

Balance for you can mean that you are able to well juggle the obligations of family, work, personal health, and finances. 

It could also mean that you are able to be equally mindful of your goals for your physical well-being, your educational pursuits, and your spiritual priorities. 

You may want to have a fabulous career, raise a beautiful family, and also travel the world.

Life overflows with potential and opportunity.  You decide what options are the ones that make sense to you and for you.

Choose which life experiences lend to what you are and which ones pull away from where you want to be. You do not have to do everything and you do not have to make all things a priority.

By participating in selected life experiences, you have the opportunity for defining your happiness.  And you decide the amount of time, attention, and focus you dedicate to the experiences that you want to have.

In this way, you have defined balance by what you do and what you elect not to do. When you place the most focus on what you love you have a better chance of experiencing balance.

How Does Balance Feel

Sometimes words just don’t do justice to describing a feeling.  Feelings are meant to be felt.

Trying to define balance as a feeling can therefore be difficult.  However, it is important to define the feeling of balance for yourself so that you can recognize when you have achieved it.

Balance can take on many characteristics based on what life experiences are at any moment.

Defining and then prioritizing experiences that you love produces a myriad of good feelings.

  • Go to bed on time and wake up feeling rested
  • Complete the work you planned in your day and leave work feeling productive. 
  • Spend time with your kids playing ball in the backyard and after you’re feeling energized and thankful
  • Step out of your 20-minute shower feeling fresh and relaxed
Feel good music just feels good

You take all of these parts and pieces and reflect upon them before you go to sleep.  And you say to yourself, you had a good day.

The summary may be that you simply feel good.  But if asked, you may also say that you feel balanced.

The Feeling Definition of Balance

The sensation of

  • being in flow
  • achieving your goals
  • satisfying others’ needs
  • enjoying the people you love
  • gaining your wants and desires, and
  • receiving unexpected but pleasant surprises

All of these and more can feel like balance to you. 

Even if everything happens at once when the net outcome is plus the feeling of balance is the outcome.

Defining and feeling the experiences that create joy is how you define and feel being in balance.

Understanding the Role of Imbalance

Imbalance in life is not exactly the opposite of balance. 

If balance equals good feelings and happy experiences, being out of balance does not necessarily equal bad feelings and unhappy events.

Knowing this can hopefully relieve a little pressure in reaching the goal of balance.

Perfect balance is not a requirement for happiness and you don’t want it to be.  Freeing yourself from this expectation provides more options, more choice.

You know many people who are intentionally and blissfully out of balance all the time.  If you don’t know them personally, you have seen them on tv. You may be one of them!

You may wonder how someone so out of whack can still be so joyfully intact. Are they just ignoring their pain?

Imbalance Is Better Than You Think

Lack of balance can be chaotic or fun.  It can be spontaneous or irrational. When you realize that life is never perfect you can appreciate the perfect chaos that is life.

In this way, you can see the benefit to all aspects of life and not fall to pieces when imbalance shows its ugly head.

  • Dinner burned. Perfect time for pizza night!
  • Boss created a new project in the middle of your day. Perfect opportunity to learn something new and abandon your same old boring tasks!
  • Left your wallet at home when trying to checkout at the store. Guess you’ll spend a little more time listening to your favorite song in the car!

The bottom line is you dictate what imbalance is to you. 

Imbalance can be embraced as a welcomed part of life.  It can be an opportunity for gratitude in all that life has to offer, the ups and the downs, and everything in between.

Good Things Can Actually Come From Bad Experiences

The reality is that living life imbalanced can be a significant part of achieving happiness.

When you are cramming for an exam or prepping for a major presentation, you may not sleep for 2 days, barely eat, and talk to no one.  But the outcome of this extreme focus may be the biggest accomplishment you have ever experienced.

A relationship gone bad can make you laser-focused on the type of romance most important to you.  A job you must quit can create a desire for a business you must build.

When big transitions happen, you may first only see the pain in the situation.  And that’s okay.

Your biggest deviations from balance can inspire your most substantial dreams for blissful existence

You can be on top of the world tomorrow just because you allowed yourself to live in imbalance today.

Understand when imbalance can serve you, educate you, and even motivate you to become more.  Your living in imbalance can be the way that you define your goal of balance with better clarity and increased certainty.

Managing You Through Imbalance

There is another side to imbalance.

That’s the imbalance burn that sets the whole forest on fire.

The times when you become consumed in any one area of your life and feel as if you completely neglected all other priorities.

  • Your family suffers because your work has become your everything. 
  • Your relationship suffers because you have placed your children on a pedestal above everything else. 
  • Your own health wanes because you have to make sure that everyone else in your life gets your time and energy.

When you abandon balance for obsession on any subject for too long, you drain the essence from all the other aspects of life that bring you joy.

The assortment of pleasures that life has to offer is there for you to make the most out of your life.  When you sacrifice the all for the one, you simultaneously choose to limit your access to life’s pleasures.

Gaining joy, pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in life is what gives life its purpose. 

Limiting your access to these treasures can make life feel like a purposeless burden.

The reality is that life may call upon you to be imbalanced at times.  A sick child, a serious work obligation, a parent in need, an almost foreclosed home, these are not the times to worry over your life balance. 

Know the difference of when imbalance is required or an unhealthy option drawn. 

Seeking Imbalance is Walking a Backward Path

Some parts of life demand acting with urgency and treating parts of your life as an emergency.  But there are also times when imbalance can become an unhealthy habit through patterned avoidance.

The other priorities in your life can be damaged or difficult and not an immediate source of happiness for you. 

To avoid having to confront the challenge of correcting the problem, you may elect to be imbalanced and to focus all of your attention where you feel that you can most easily feel better.  

Initially, this is not a poor choice or a bad option. Placing attention on the areas of life that provide you joy can lead to feelings of balance that can eventually be shared across all subjects.

You are allowed to fill your cup in any way that you choose that puts you in the best space to live your best life.

But perpetual avoidance can become an addiction.

Living Only in Safe Spaces Can Be Another Way That Life Becomes Limited. 

If you only live to work because this is where you succeed and then work becomes dysfunctional, you lose your only source of joy. 

You may look to your work to fulfill the other parts of life that you failed to invest in putting in balance. 

In this case, your work cannot love you like a spouse or guide you like a parent.  But you may misplace these needs in unhealthy places because you have avoided nurturing other aspects of your life.

Purposeful imbalance due to obsessive pain avoidance can lead to a very unhappy life.

Creating ways to balance life through a diversity of joyful outlets can make finding balance a much easier mission to tackle.  Even when some areas of life need a little work, focusing on the prospect of a better condition can create joy in the process.

Avoiding a problem may seem like a resolution but can lead away from the bigger picture of a better and more balanced life.

Living a Balanced Life

Now that you have defined your balance, your imbalance, and gained clarity of purpose and feeling, it’s time to live what you know.

Living as balanced is an everyday adventure. 

Take time to explore and identify the different parts of life that you see as a priority. 

Intentionally set as priority those aspects of life that bring the most joy and happiness, even if that means a little work involved to get them to their fullest potential.

Take pride in yourself when you have chosen imbalance as a way to propel yourself into a more favorable place.  Remember it is okay to trade a little pain for a lot of gains.

Be mindful to not let your imbalance tip the scales and take you to a negative place.  Too much of a good thing can be bad, and too much of a bad thing can be devastating.

Find ways to fill your cup, regain your focus, and live life with purpose.

You choose if a balanced life is the type of life that you want to live on purpose.  But know that there 100% can be a purpose to living a balanced life when you choose it.

Remember, you are not broken if balance is not your life today, but you can decide today if you want to be balanced.

Related Article: 7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

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7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

Create balance in your life and live a better life. Seems simple enough.

It is energizing to live each day in flow. It is empowering to feel that no matter what comes there is a comfort that awaits you.

Knowing that you are in balance gives both a sense of relaxation and excited anticipation to any day. 

However, imbalance is also a part of life. At times it can seem like the only part of life that you are living. 

The days strung together when it feels that nothing is in flow.

The moments when nothing goes as planned and the worst scenario seems to just keep showing up. The days when you just want the day to stop and start over.

Know that you don’t have to work to remove the experience of imbalance to have a good life.

You couldn’t even if you wanted to.

So instead make peace with your times of imbalance and learn ways to regain balance once it has been lost.

Take a look at these 7 Ways to Create Balance when imbalance has become your way of life. See what you may be able to add to your list of remedies to put you in a better place:

Grace | Positive Speak | Self Chivalry | Rest | Sacred Space | Nature | Special Connections

1. A Little Grace Goes a Long Way

Sometimes the easiest way to regain balance is to release trying to have it. (Yes, you read that right).

Sometimes life is just hard

Give yourself grace and permit yourself to simply be human when things fall apart

Be angry, cry, feel defeated and frustrated. It is hard to skip past the ugly parts of imbalance when your emotions are running strong and your focus is blurred. So let it be.

Create a starting point of acceptance before you forge ahead trying manically to feel better.

Acknowledge where you are.

This gives you the opportunity to actually pause and see where things have gone wrong. This is the point where your knowledge of self becomes your power.

Otherwise, you can be lost in your emotion and directionless in your actions inspired by your discomfort.

Too often, you can be painfully in imbalance and not even realize it.

In these moments you turn on yourself and everyone and everything around you. Spinning your wheels you try to fight or fix everything and that is just too big of a challenge for anyone to take on.

When everything is out of control, maybe it’s time to stop trying to control it

Instead of looking for the world to be fixed so that you feel better, focus on bringing yourself to a better place – in time. Own your personal state and feel empowered that you know yourself enough to realize when you are simply momentarily off.

Self Knowledge is Not Wasted Effort When Working to Feel Better

Imbalance is a part of life and one that you and most others will experience frequently.  It is not a failure to be imbalanced.

But it is a failed assessment to believe that your current disposition is somehow wrong.

The goal to be in constant balance is one that can never be achieved.  So let it go.

An attainable goal is to seek more self-awareness. Note when you fall from your balance and develop ways that consistently help you through your challenges. 

Know yourself enough to truly believe that you can get through this

Even with imbalance there are positive gains when you grow to build more and more trust in yourself.

You will learn that you can find ways to resolve your life’s conflicts and bring balance back to your life.

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2. Say the Right Words for the Right Outcome

Words are powerful.  Therefore, there is good reason to choose your words wisely or suffer the consequence of self-created imbalance. 

As if a mantra, you can at times repeat over and over again all the negatives about you or your experiences.

  • This is a horrible day. 
  • Why is everything going wrong? 
  • Here we go again! 
  • I’m an idiot. 
  • I can make a mess of everything!!!

The list of imbalanced words and phrases has no end and so with it no end to the problems that come with it. 

What you say to you matters. Think before you speak

The words that we repeat become the reality that we live. When we speak negativity to ourselves then a moment of discomfort can become a full day of regret.  

Change your self-talk and live differently. 

You are the key to the life that you manifest and your words are instruments in the making of it. 

In the midst of imbalance, you may not be able to change what you are facing. But you can change the words you say, think, or repeat.

Choose to soothe yourself instead of aggravating your frazzled nerves more.

Start small but purposefully. Try affirming to yourself, “it will be okay” or, “I know I am doing my best”, or “it can only get better from here”.  

Better yet, sing a song that you enjoy or recite a prayer or poem that brings you peace. 

Kind words and a smile can be life-changing

Choose words with emotions that represent where you want to be even if you feel very different in the present.

  • “I’m far from happy now, but I know that things will get better and I will get happier
  • “I can’t wait until I’m excited to wake up in the morning”
  • “When I get home I am going to have a peaceful and relaxing night. I need it”

Say the words that you need to hear to become the balance you need to have.  

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3. Champion Your Own Chivalry

Protect your needs for well-being and your right to balance

To take care of another before oneself is only one form of chivalry. 

Do not hesitate to become the champion of mastered courtesy and honor for yourself.

Put a gallant effort toward defending your right to peace when imbalance has seemingly taken over your life.  

You can be your own knight in shining armor. Take the necessary actions to smite the sources of the imbalance that confront you. 

Make choices that honor your personal needs for importance, priority, and self-care. And be proud to take your balance as a reward.

You are allowed to pull away from what drains you and relax back into focus

If you can leave work early, do it. 

If you can leave a phone call unanswered, do it. 

If simply going to the bathroom for a moment of peace is the only solitude you can capture, take it.

Give yourself the freedom to stop the world if only for a moment.

Your life shouldn’t feel like bondage

Make decisions that serve you and become an ambassador of your sanctity and sanity.

When life becomes too much it is okay to pause what you can so that you are in a better place to handle what comes. 

Be chivalrous to yourself regularly and you may thwart many occasions of imbalance on the horizon.

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4. The Requirement of Replenishment

Within the most basic human functions lays the most critical of needs, replenishment.

Rest, relaxation, and sleep each serves to provide replenishment to the body.

Recharging your battery gives you the energy to stay strong when you need it most

Replenishment of the body secures a foundation whereby you are in the best condition to perform at your highest capacity. 

The pressures, stresses, and frustrations of the day are regular occurrences that place a demand upon your physical and even your mental disposition. 

Replenishment is a defense against these attacks on your balance and provides you the strength to carry on.  

When feeling imbalanced examine your rest, relaxation, and sleep schedule, and if poor, address immediately and with urgency. 

Fighting the internal war of fatigue will invite imbalance and potentially subject you to even more, leaving you without the strength to find your way to norm.  

Take Your Rest Before It Overtakes You

Replenishment is more than sleep, though getting the length and depth of rest through sleep is important. Other forms of replenishment exist too:

While replenishment will not always cure imbalance by itself, it can provide you with centeredness that can support your return-to-balance journey.

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5. Own Your Space

When your whole world has toppled and there is confusion everywhere you look, finding respite in your sanctuary away from the storm can immediately make you feel better.

Create a space that provides you balance, even if only temporarily.

10 minutes of peace and positive focus can feel like a miracle

You may find that at work, it is your desk, your locker, even your screensaver. 

You can place positive messages, photos of family, or a memento that has special meaning to you.

Create a space for your inspired peaceful vision and gain the power to provide calm through your line of sight.

Let a simple image transport you to another place

At home, it may be your bedroom, a spare room, a small corner of your basement, or even your laundry room where you can place a candle, incense, or a bouquet of flowers.

Simplicity can bring balance in an instant

Visiting your sacred space or creating one for the first time can represent giving to yourself when it feels like the whole world is only taking. 

Having a display of items that have special meaning solely to you can provide a sense of grounding and control in an otherwise chaotic existence.

Your sacred space is whatever you want it to be but it’s yours

Imbalance can seem to walk with you no matter where you go, but having a space for peace can provide an opportunity to release your burdens and to step into balance when needed.

Keep your sanctuary intact at all times, never commingling your pressure points with your peaceful place.

This pattern of separation will help to train your mind, body, and spirit that once you have connected with your sanctuary all is well and balance is again accessible to you.

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6. Connect with Nature

No matter the season or time of day, it may be a perfect opportunity to step into nature when you feel that imbalance abounds.

Peace and balance is everywhere you need it to be

There is almost always an opportunity to experience nature if you choose to prioritize the experience. 

When the walls feel as if they are closing in and the place you stand feels unstable, take time to walk outside. Experience fresh air, solid ground, and the expansive view of the sky. It can be the best way to regain stability.

Look to nature when you need a balancing experience

Nature represents simplicity but also manifests in substantial ways through different forms of life and that which supports life. 

Water, sun, insects, soil, trees, flowers, grass, and animals, our world is surrounded with the sights and sounds of balance and natural synchronicity in abundance.

Not only can the mere experience of nature create a flow into balance but also the observation of the world’s simplicity in motion. 

  • Watch the movement of life around you, birds in the trees, squirrels running across the ground, people busseling to their destinations
  • Feel the breeze against your face on a hot or brisk day
  • Take in the unique smells of flowers and trees
  • Listen to water and its rhythmic tones whether from a nearby creek or a public fountain
  • Take a break from flourescent lights and cellphone screens and see the world through natural light

Allow the problems that you face to become small in comparison to the insurmountable wonder that is life on this planet.

Sit and take in the beauty that abounds

Go out and experience the abundance of eternal balance that surrounds you. And reassure yourself that your personal balance is literally only steps away at any moment.

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7. Find Your Tribe

There is no rule that your road to balance must be traveled alone. So when you find yourself in the thrusts of imbalance make use of your resources.

Surround yourself with loved ones when you need it most

If you do not have that tried and true relationship with a family member, friend, or co-worker today then start investing time now into building these relationships.

When you are fortunate enough to have special people in your life, trust in the strength of your relationship that they are willing and wanting to support you when you need the help.

To have loyal companions who will always have a positive disposition and a helping hand to lend is a treasure.

Good people with good dispositions are great resources to have.

When your path has gotten too dim for you to find your way home alone, a good friend will act as a lighthouse across your dark sea and guide you back to balance.

Let your friends be a source of healing for their benefit and yours.

When you don’t have the energy to create your peace, a good friend will offer encouragement and insight. While it is important to be your own source of comfort when facing imbalance, acknowledge when you need help.

A burden shared between two people can be much lighter weight than a crushing problem held by one

Remember also, you may not always have access to live support every time you need it. Late-night hours, travel, or just life can make it hard to connect with family and friends at times.

So it is important to also build a tribe of indirect connections and influencers to guide your journey toward balance.

The vehicles of peace are endless. Search for support and know that it is always there.

These resources can come in the form of musicians, artists, writers, podcasters, YouTubers, bloggers, and more. At a moment’s notice, no matter the time day or night, you can tap into their message and be transported to a better place.

  • Listen to music. Create playlists designed to lift your spirits when needed
  • Read a book or your favorite highlighted passage
  • Watch a motivational video or a heartwarming movie
  • Learn a new way to ease your stress or bring order to your life

Your favorite artists, creators, and entertainers can be your lifeline in bad times.

Curate your tribe with care and reap the rewards of partnered effort towards balance. Invest in creating your team for balance and see the fruits of your labor flourish with positive connections and peace.

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While imbalance is a part of life and not always an enjoyable part, balance also exists. 

The path of moving from the discomfort of imbalance to better balance can be challenging. Find comfort in knowing that any struggle is only temporary by nature. 

The goal then is to make your way through the tougher times. Ready your tools and resources so you can be in better balance and, overall, in a better state of mind and life experience.

Take command of your ability to create balance in your life. And know that no amount of imbalance can keep you from living the quality of life you choose to live.  

When you prepare ahead for the imbalance you know to come, you can be in the best position to bring yourself back to the balance that keeps you whole.

Remember Your Way Back to Balance

The balance that you seek is in your hands to create. You will always feel better in time.

Related Posts:

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Have you found the perfect way to face imbalance in your daily life? Share your method in the Comments section. We can always use another great idea for peace.

Be Bold Enough To Be Yourself

Be Bold Enough To Be Yourself

Be Bold Enough to Be You

What does it mean to be bold enough to be yourself? 

Before you can be you, you have to be bold enough to define you. And that is not always easy to do. 

It sounds easy enough on the surface. But some people struggle to define their favorite color, let alone the color they want to paint their bedroom. 

If that is true, how do you even begin to define the spectrum that is your life?  

Who are You?

How do you define yourself?

What are the most defining parts of you?

Can you define what you are versus what others say you are?

Begin to build your definition

Your personal definition is important because it is so easy to become unclear.

Can you define yourself independently?

Or are you just a bundle of everyone else’s influence and opinion?

You are allowed and should have your own opinions about yourself.

Who you are is not your station in your family or at your job. 

What you are is not the emotional set point you have on any given day. 

You are the summary of every single experience that you have had since your very first breath to the moment when you are reading this sentence right now. 

Photo by Julia Kuzenkov from Pexels

Your Life Has Taught You More About You Than You Realize

You have spent a lifetime taking in the world. Your mind’s eye interprets everything within your vision and your thoughts give your view meaning.

You decide your place, purpose, and being amongst all that you have taken in.

And for this reason, you cannot be defined by things as simple as your age, your gender, your job, or even your mood. 

Your complexity is so much more than that.

Recognize first that all that you are is as diverse as the color spectrum. 

You are not to be labeled or boxed or stereotyped or clichéd. 

You are your opinions and thoughts that have been shaped by your experiences. Because of this, you may join with the masses on one subject and be all alone on an island on another.  

Accept that you have ideas that are yours alone and a voice that is unlike any other. 

Even if some say that you think like your mother or talk like your father. It does not mean that you lose your identity to someone else’s characteristics. 

You are your own person. 

To live out loud as yourself, you must be bold enough to take ownership of who and what you are.

Define what you claim as your identity.

Take action to be authentically you.

Speak your thoughts and opinions out loud

Keeping your opinions to yourself devalues your voice and creates an opportunity to allow others’ thoughts to have a higher value than your own. 

A pattern of silence can make you feel invisible.

Your voice is your presence and your gift to others. 

Photo by Tatiana Twinslol from Pexels

Telling your story, your mental vision, and expression, contribute to others learning, expansion, and evolution of thought. 

You serve no one by being quiet, least of all yourself. 

Permitting your voice to have center stage allows you to take command of your expression as an important and valued contributor to the dialogue that is your life. 

Dress the style that represents you 

Photo by Ante from Pexels

Your parents, your co-workers, your friends, or your employer do not define how you should look or represent yourself. 

You do. 

If you stifle yourself in a uniform to make someone else comfortable, you can find yourself smothered in conformity and self-disrespect. 

Claiming your style is claiming your self-expression and ability to accentuate what you like about yourself. 

Photo by Godisable Jacob from Pexels

Your form, your palette, your softness, your hardness, your structure of clothing all speak to how you create your self-image.

Choose colors that represent your spirit or your mood on any particular day.

Wear jewelry that speaks to your heritage or the sentiment of family to your heart.

Create a vibrant hairstyle, get an intricate tattoo, change your eye color, Let your whole body become your canvas of self-definition.

Present your image as if showcasing your spirit. It’s yours to display and only you can breathe life into your personal creation.

Live the Lifestyle That You Choose  

Who said life starts at 5am? 

Or that a perfect couple is a man and a woman? 

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Why should only a person with a degree be considered educated? 

And why would personal wealth be defined solely by a bank account balance? 

Photo by Anthony Shkraba from Pexels

Healthy people may have cookies for breakfast (occasionally 🙂

Wealthy people may live in a one-bedroom apartment in a small suburban town. 

Happy people may never work a steady job but will travel from city to city meeting new people and exploring the world. 

Stop living by the rules that someone else told you and define your own rules for your health, wealth, and happiness! 

No one but you can define what life is best for you to live

And you will never get a perfect score living the life that someone else has defined as right for you. 

So fail someone else’s expectation so that you can Live Your Own Life as you have defined it and truly live happy! 

Living a Bold Life is Living Your Own Life 

Photo by Vitória Santos from Pexels

Be comfortable to make the choices that you prefer and then live them out loud. 

Do not hide from who you are to make anyone else happy. 

The same person you choose to please may be unhappy with themselves. 

Instead of learning anyone else’s expectations, be bold enough to learn yourself.

Your opinions, your style, your sense of self through decisions, likes and dislikes, and your own discernment are you. 

Never stop learning you. 

And as you define and redefine yourself, never let a moment go by where you fail to Live Your True Self, out loud, boldly, as your most authentic you!

Need more inspiration on living a bold, authentic you. Take a look at RuPaul’s Masterclass on self-expression and authenticity.

RuPaul has been a pioneer of living life on your own terms throughout his career as an actor, music artist, television personality, and most notably as a drag queen.

If Ru doesn’t know authenticity, no one does. Using his words, “You were not born to fit in. You were born to stand out”.

No matter where you learn the lesson, the message is clear:

Be Happy

Be Bold

Be You

For more on living your best life now, see these related posts:

The Perfect Self-Love Tips to Change Your Life

7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

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