How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

When you possess a natural helping spirit, you give to others in the most supportive way as part of who you are.  And your intent is always to be of true and genuine help.

But, unfortunately, the best intentions can land differently than expected.  And you not only can connect poorly with another but also give so much that you hurt yourself.

Examine who you are as a helper.  Acknowledge both your gifts and your challenges.  And become an even better helper to yourself and everyone else in the process.

Why Helping Your Calling

Not everyone has the helping spirit.  Even the nicest individuals may be focused on other deeds than helping others.  Or, more often, nice people do not realize how much they help others and do not call themselves helpers.

But some of us gain a genuine joy in helping and supporting. 

To provide a helping hand to a person and animal or even the environment when needed sparks an indescribable joy and energy that lights you up.

It does not matter if you get a thank you or if anyone knows that you helped at all.  You know and that is all that matters. 

Your knowing is enough to gain new energy and that feel-good feeling of being of service.

Charitable givers, volunteers, mentors, teachers, donators….the list of titles is lengthy and so are all the good works that come from those that help. 

You are called to perform these actions because you feel a sense of purpose in sharing your gifts with others. 

The calling, or knowing, is that you are supposed to provide what you have to others in order to positively impact another’s well-being. 

And your calling is confirmed in the positivity you gain in the process. 

Helping others is an absolute and unquestioned mission for you.  

What Helping Excellence Looks Like

Whether you are in a helping profession or you are simply a helpful person, you innately strive for excellence in your brand of giving.

Helping excellence takes many forms but starts with the unique ability to combine being introspective, extrospective, and compassionately empathetic. 

When you are introspective you not only know yourself but acknowledge your skills, abilities, or assets of value.  You honor yourself in knowing that you have worth that is worth sharing.

To be extrospective is to demonstrate that you are attentive to absorbing the world around you.  You pay attention to your surroundings and even look beyond your immediate view to understand the context of life and your place in it.

But the key that binds is your compassionate empathy.  This is where all your gifts truly synchronize.

You see your gifts of worth, interpret the needs outside of yourself, and extend yourself to give selflessly to bridge the gaps.  

You understand how you can be a solution and are compelled to make yourself available as a resource.

This remarkable talent and example of character and humanity are what sets helpers apart from all others.  It is a form of excellence that gives true purpose to your body, mind, and spirit.  

Happy Helper vs. People Pleaser

Giving of your talents with heartfelt compassion can be a beautiful experience for both the giver and the receiver.

However, there are times that while a helper can give with the best of intentions, it is not a healthy exchange.

The reality is that helping feels good but when an attempt to help fails, it can feel horrible.

You may have created the perfect solution, but you were impatient to capture all details so you missed the true mark.

It is possible that the receiver of your kind acts was not in the heart space to receive your assistance well.  And instead took your act of kindness as an act of pity or condescending behavior.

You could have had the best and most thoughtful plan, but may have missed the mark on timing.

And while mistakes happen as a normal part of life, when helping fails it can make you feel disconnected and unsure of your ability to give well.

The Birth of a People Pleaser

People pleasing can appear very similar to being a helper but can take a more negative turn if you are not self-aware.

The nature of people-pleasing is that you take specific actions to ensure the result of making another person happy.  It can become toxic when you will take action regardless of the negative impact on your person.

Some people develop this pattern at a very young age, attempting to please overly strict or aggressive parents or other influencers. 

Others develop this behavior as a result of their work or school environments as a means to ensure positive achievement or acknowledgment.

But often failed helpers will turn into people pleasers.  Particularly if a helper has inadvertently experienced a significant instance or pattern of failed attempts to help.

Having experienced a negative or even angry response to their extended help, a helper may overextend looking for ways to fix the failure or make the person happy.

What is worse is that it is hard for an innate helper to see the difference between helping with genuine positive intent or helping for personal gain.

Helpers become people pleasers when they find themselves desperately trying to calm their own anxiety in displeasing someone else. 

They can also become overly focused on being seen or treated in a positive way in response to their giving.

This unhealthy and imbalanced excessive preoccupation with giving can be detrimental to your mental health, financial stability, or your physical well-being.

When helping hurts then somewhere the helping excellence equation has been thrown off balance.

What to Do When Helping Hurts

The hurts from overhelping can be reversed.  Depending on the length of time this pattern has gone unchecked, it can take time.

All helpers should develop the habit of being a good giver to themselves.

This is represented by an honest self-assessment of whether or not helping still feels good.  And also recognition of whether or not you are still a happy giver.

More often than you may want to admit, helping can start to feel bad.  You give when you are tired or when your resources are too low to sustain yourself.

You may also develop an obsessive tendency to gain positive feedback from others or your own personal dopamine charge from the act of helping.

The habit of giving turned into a giving compulsion can have significant detrimental effects on you.

Dedicate time to the practice of self-care.  Know and embody the understanding that only when your tank is full can you give to others at your best.

If being an expert helper is your goal, then respect that only a healthy helper can excel at helping. 

Also, to give when you are not at your best degrades the quality of what you give.

And a true helper wants to give to another the best that they have to offer always.

While it may seem counter-intuitive and hard to retrain, giving to yourself first makes your helping stronger and more effective.  

Great Helpers Accept Help

Another means to support your helping health is to lean on others.

Having people that you love and trust tell you when you may be going too far is important.  In the midst of your helping frenzy, you may lose yourself in the process. 

An accountability partner can assist in providing you with another point of view regarding your personal well-being status.

Seasoned helpers can have a never-ending list of ideas on how to help.  It is also essential to seize the opportunity to let others be expert doers when you may be a visionary expert.

You do not have to have the vision and make it happen all by yourself.

Permitting others to be a part of the process is another form of giving. 

Through your vision and inspiring energy, you create opportunities for others to participate in the helping process.

Because you know how to give you provide an excellent opportunity to teach others and to create more helping hands for the future.

Related Article:  How to Energize and Maximize Your Giving Spirit

Keeping Your Passion for Helping

If you are a natural helper but suffering from helpers’ burnout you may find yourself in the strange place of needing a charge to your helping spirit.

You may also be trying to balance your self-care with your care for others for the first time and feel confused in the process.

Be reminded and take pride that your unique gifts serve the world in a special way and continue to be needed.

Give yourself permission to experience all the benefits that your helping gift provides to others and yourself:

  • Reflecting on positive past experiences where you well demonstrated your gift of help.  See the smiles and gratitude in others and remember your own feelings of gratification.
  • Save any memories of gratitude you may receive such as cards, gifts, or smiling photos, and review them as part of your self-care regimen.  Congratulate yourself for all the help you have extended to others.
  • Affirm to yourself how you have grown to be an excellent helper and all the ways that you help others.  You are not the same person you were when you helped for the first time. Your helping gifts are likely overflowing when you truly reflect on all of them.
  • Have close friends and confidants to confide in when you feel unsure and let others remind you of your beautiful spirit.  Don’t worry. They won’t think you are being prideful.  The best partners know when you need a boost and will be more than happy to remind you how truly wonderful you are.  And you deserve to hear it, especially when you need it.
  • Take a moment just to be grateful.  Be thankful for your helping gifts and talents and all the experiences that they have provided you.  You have been given an exceptional way to live your life and not everyone can experience what helping as given to you.

Conclusion

If you are a natural helper then you should know that you possess a unique gift of giving to others. 

That gift is worth special care and attention as it serves an important need to the world.  No matter how big or small your contribution, your help can be critical to another.

Knowing how to give to yourself so that you are in the best mental, physical, and spiritual health to help is important.  And recognizing the signs when you need to receive help is just as important as the help you give.

Balancing your view of yourself, all that surrounds you, and the empathetic compassion that you extend to others can be challenging at times. 

But when you master this synchronicity, you can excel in living your purpose and helping others to the best of your ability.

Top 5 Skills That Only the Best Bosses Know

Top 5 Skills That Only the Best Bosses Know

Whether you are a boss or you report to one, most people have an idea in their mind of what a good boss is. 

Better yet, most know exactly what’s what a good boss is not! 

When dealing with a bad boss, you can feel the impact. Even if you are just watching someone else going through it.  Bad bosses can inspire fear, create tense environments, and overall make work a terrible place to be.

If you carry a title of leadership, it is an excellent opportunity to inspire the best in others. And to create an atmosphere or culture that makes the job a place others want to be.

Let’s examine a few exceptional skills that can make the difference in your being the best boss you can be!

Best Boss Skill#1:  Give and Then Give More

As a leader, you may expect to give direction or delegate assignments. But you may not always think specifically to give of yourself.

A boss who is willing to truly be elbow-to-elbow with their team creates an environment of teamwork, loyalty, and approachability well beyond expectation.

People respond better to collaboration than dictatorship.  And, if given a choice, would prefer to have access to a supportive personality than an indifferent one.

Related Article: How to Survive Working for a Boss You Hate

While every employee may not jump at the chance to spend time with their boss, those that need you most will. 

Giving of yourself can show itself by spending extra time to provide training.

Or being open to answering questions, big or small.  It can also be key when another set of hands helps to knock out a huge project on time.

Giving more can include support outside of business when life issues arise.  An empathic ear one day can make the difference for the entire week.  

You can also be a better giver when sharing your expertise.  Volunteer to mentor a rising star employee or a new leader in the company.  Or schedule time with your own staff who are looking to expand their skills.

Consider giving as a key component of your job and be prepared for the return on investment to become limitless.

Best Boss Skill#2: Listen More Than You Speak

Great bosses are exceptionally good listeners.

While you may be the final say on certain decisions, great bosses know they are not the only voice worth hearing.

Regardless of age or tenure, people respect having their thoughts and opinions included in the process.

Providing opportunities for open forum shared ideas and entertained proposals are crucial to fostering creativity and innovation in any environment.

The more that people are heard, the more they feel included and valued.

Becoming an excellent listener not only gives another speaker the floor. It also signals that you actually want to hear what they have to say.

A good listener demonstrates active listening with engaged eye contact, repeating content for clarity, and affirming with body language. 

We all have an interpretation of what looking like you are listening looks like.   Great bosses do that!

When you build the habit of listening, you also benefit yourself. 

Listening well trains you in the skills of perception, interpretation, and assessment. 

As you listen you gain insight into those you speak with. 

You learn what motivates others, how they interpret their world, and what causes them to become demotivated or distracted. 

Some employees like to talk more than they like to do.  Others have great ideas but don’t know how to execute them.  Still others are brilliant problem solvers and result achievers. 

And all of them can switch places based on the situation or even the day of the week.

Listening well keeps you tapped in to those around you. Now uou can better connect with them personally and gain the most from them professionally.

Learning others better and others sharing openly with you can improve the communication and connectivity with those whom you lead.

Best Boss Skill#3: Show Up As Yourself

Authenticity is the new black. 

Everyone is calling for it and, yet, so many still fear owning their true selves for public consumption.

Do you have a work-self and a home-self?  Why?

Okay, there are times when you at your most relaxed could most certainly get you fired.  Understood.

But there is also such a thing as traveling so far away from your center that you become a completely different person.

Your job should require the share of your skills not the shedding of your soul.

And for those who report to you, it can be hard to fall in sync with someone who becomes a different person every time someone new comes through the door.  

When you are consistently your genuine self, those who work for and with you know and learn you better.

Knowing your boss allows you to fall in sync with both their personality and their expectations.

As a boss, it is important to know that you direct people both by your words and your actions.  Your facial expressions, tone of voice, and impromptu reactions are all indicators that can be interpreted as how you really feel.

A falsely represented boss will often change these traits due to the work environment, their boss, or their perception of what a boss should be.

The problem, inevitably, is when you are a fake you, the real you shows up too.  And that is just too many people for your staff to figure out.

This carousel of characters leads to you being one person one day and someone else the next.

And what does that mean for your employees???

They have no idea what boss they are getting any day of the week.

Your lack of authenticity can lead to employees feeling disconnected, unstable, and unsure in response to you.

But when you are authentic, even on your bad days, you can create the best environment.

Reading Your Boss is a Real Thing

When you are the same person every day and you are genuine in your thoughts and opinions, your people can learn how you tick. 

Knowing the real you, they also know what to expect. 

And over time, those who are invested in getting their work done well, will know the signals from you of what you like and don’t.

In the world of work, knowing what your boss prefers gives everyone peace. 

Your authentic self also has other benefits. 

You become more approachable and relatable when you are not wearing a façade. 

The benefits of this is not only in how others work for you.  It can even impact others to want to be like you. 

If you appear as a relatable and real figure others can see themselves as you and feel that what you have achieved may one day be achievable by them.

Be a better boss, mentor, and person by making a practice of being yourself.

Best Boss Skill#4: Be Accountable to People Not Business

While this may be a hard truth to digest, you do not work for your business.  You are employed by your business, but, as a leader, you work for your staff.

If you are not sure how this works, let’s look at the facts.

Your employer has provided you with a scope of responsibility and an expectation of output or productivity in your area of command.

You are not meant to produce independently but to properly direct others and yourself to reach the assigned target.  Ok. Got it.

Now, in your day-to-day, you have to execute to make it happen.

And you cannot make it happen without your people.

Even with all of these facts, many will still not see where the accountability shifts from the business to the people.  But let’s look at why this is also reality.

Your people need you to direct them on what the goals are.  They need you to explain tasks that they do not know or objectives they would not otherwise have gotten if not by you.

When they don’t understand, you need to answer their questions.  If they make an error, they need to know how to communicate to you so that goals are still met.

Even if you do not directly impact your area’s process flow, your oversight can make the difference in how things are run.

If you are not accountable for being the boss that oversees, leads, directs, and responds to your people, you are not being the best boss you can be.

Further, the closer in touch you are with what your people do, the better you are able to be a resource to them overall. 

Knowing their work, their struggles and obstacles, and the subtle nuances to get through each day makes a difference.

This is more than leading, it’s integrating in a meaningful way.

When you display this level of accountability to the team you become a solid resource for them.  You are now doing what you are employed to do.

And just like that accountability to your people makes you the boss that wins over and over again.

Best Boss Skill #5:  Be a Fearless Failure

Failing is a part of life that no one likes but everyone does. 

The best failures are those that prepare you for future success.

As a boss, being brave enough to admit your failures can be crucial to bonding with your team.

Most fail more often on tasks that are new for them in some way.  It could be something never done before, a new process, or a higher volume than in the past.

Less often people fail on things that they have done a million times but make a random mistake.

In either scenario, admitting failure provides the opportunity to see what rising from failure looks like.  As a boss, it is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate honesty, integrity, and fearlessness in the process.

Doing too much and failing can create a new opportunity of working collaboratively with others in the future.

If you have failed from a lack of knowledge, asking others for input can show how ingenuity and innovation are formed.

When a new process flow breaks down, you can learn better ways to evaluate effectiveness, thoroughly audit, or measure performance.

Failure can be of benefit when you learn from it and become better as an individual or as a team.

A boss who fails fearlessly and recovers gallantly can be a role model to others. 

Both relatable and admirable, a boss who falls with grace can inspire others to take on challenges with confidence.

Conclusion

Whether you have recently been promoted or have been leading others for years, there is always an opportunity to be the best boss you can be.

Being boss is more than telling others what to do, but owning all aspects of influence that you have on your team.

Being authentic, accountable to others, and fearless when facing failure are all ways that you can connect with your team and create a culture of openness and comfort.

When team members feel empowered and supported to succeed, they will see you not only as a boss but as a mentor and trusted colleague.

Give the best of yourself to your team and reap the benefits of success that only the best bosses get to achieve.

Are you a boss that gives the most with the best skills? Share your best practices in the Comments below and help someone else become the best at being boss too!

6 Tips to Stop B*tching About Your Job

6 Tips to Stop B*tching About Your Job

One thing leads to the next and before you know it you are b*tching about your job again.  This is not about the occasional complaint or the classic tough-day-in-the-office story.

You are on a full-on, non-stop, binge just complaining and ranting about your job daily.  

The crazy thing about it is that it makes you feel horrible.  It makes the person listening to you feel horrible.  And yet, you find yourself not being able to stop.

It can start off innocently as a bad-boss story where you conveniently play the part of the helpless and clearly wronged victim. 

But before you know it, it’s your co-worker, your pay, your passed-over promotion, and even your ridiculous parking spot.  You have fallen into hating everything about your job and have spent hours talking about it.

And while you may have gained a posse of sympathizers, you also have blown a month’s worth of peaceful nights.

Worse yet, you have gotten to the point where you never leave work.  You take it with you everywhere in your mind.  And you brought the worst parts of it into your home, to your family, and planted them into the deepest crevices of your thoughts.

You have b*tched your whole life away.

So while we don’t have to keep phrasing it this way, you know it’s the truth.  You have created a serious and unhealthy habit of complaining way too much about your job.  

And it’s a habit that needs to stop.

Your job hate is not the real problem.  You are.

But that’s okay. 

This is not about making you the blame.

It is about making you the solution.

Use these tips to stop excessive work complaining and to take back the joy in your life.

Tip#1:  Check-In with How You Really Feel

Before you convince yourself that you will feel better if you just let it out, check-in and see how you feel just before you speak.  It’s amazing how even your facial expression will let you know the energy that you are about to emit.

Your eyes begin to squint.  Your eyebrows will furl.  Sometimes even your jaws will clench.  You are ready to really dig into those jerks at work and give them what they deserve.  But in reality, you are giving yourself a replay of your bad day in the worst way.

Checking in with yourself you can see if you actually feel good in the process of sharing your bad day.

Relieving any form of trauma is, well, traumatizing.

Unless you truly see a light at the end of the tunnel or a solution being born from the pain, it just is not worth hurting yourself again.

If your boss, your co-worker, or some random customer already made your day terrible, don’t empower them by giving them more of your time and energy. 

Release their hold by releasing the memory and refusing to waste your free time-bound to their bad behavior.

Tip #2: Get a Pulse on the Room

You may have all the justified need in the world to release the pain from your mind out into the open. However, your audience may not be a willing participant on the receiving end.

Sometimes it is critically important to lean on others when suffering through life’s challenges. But it is also important to evaluate if you found the right partner to help.

Some family members may be suffering problems of their own at this time.  Others may have had the best day of their life and then you show up with a pound of negativity that destroys their whole disposition.

Take a pulse check to see if now is a good time to lean on another’s shoulder. 

A good friend or family member will be there for you fully when they are in position to give you their best attention.  But pushing your way through can make your bad situation feel even worse.

You will feel better in the process when you feel acknowledged and listened to.  You may even get better feedback when your supporter is in the best position to be of support.

In stopping to consider if sharing your bad day is good for another person, you may decide it’s not good for them or for you. #facts

Tip #3: Confide in the Right Person

Make a habit of being selective with who you share your problems with, in general.

Rather than find the one person who will sit and complain until the sun comes up, instead find that friend who finds the bright side to every situation.

Misery loves company but too much misery is just miserable!

Have a confidant who will listen to your problems but then help you find solutions.  The experience of finding positive outcomes despite terrible situations can be healing to you both. 

More often than not you tell yourself that you want to talk about your problem so you can get it out and get over it.

A good solutionist is going to help you do just that.

Talk out what went wrong.  Envision how it could have been better.  Potentially address the situation the next day with a positive outcome in mind.

Now together you have transformed a complaint into an improvement opportunity.

Tip #4: Refocus Your Attention

Take a moment to evaluate if what you have to say is better than what you have to experience right in front of you.

Remember, right now you are itching to relive your past.  But in your present, you have valuable time to spend with family, friends, your pet, or even your favorite tv show.

Why would you trade all the good in your life to relive one moment of pain that is over?

Even if you have to return to an uncomfortable situation the next day, give yourself the opportunity for peace now.

It may seem like all that you can think about is how horrible work was.  But it is worth the effort to create a distraction and set yourself on a different path.

  • Play music that you enjoy on your commute home.
  • Put on a tv show that makes you laugh.
  • Play with your kids.
  • Walk your dog.
  • Kiss your significant other.
  • Call and check in on your mom.

Surround yourself with all the things that are going right in your life and put that ugly work memory on the shelf for now.  

Related Article: 7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

Better yet, tell all those that are important in your life how thankful you are to have them to come home to.

After a bad day, it is life-changing to bask in gratitude for the good that you have.

Even if it takes effort, refocusing your attention is worth the reward of your peace of mind.   

Tip #5: Keep Your Home Sacred

For those days where you really have to go through the ugly details of your day, give yourself set boundaries.

All ugly happens outside of the house, but none of it crosses the threshold.

Once you are home all bets are off.  You don’t speak about it.  Don’t think about it.  You will not carry a bad day into your home.

This is not only a blessing to yourself but it is a blessing to all who reside with you.

By making your home a sanctuary, you have declared that you set the tone for what your home represents to you.

You may be paid by your job, but you are living for your household, even if you are a household of one.  

Don’t sacrifice the peace of your home for a paycheck.

When you prioritize your home, you simultaneously prioritize yourself and create healthy boundaries that support you.

This self-support will give you the opportunity to recalibrate and to reintroduce calm into an otherwise hectic, stressful day.

 It can also serve to put you in a better frame of mind to handle the challenges and burdens that you are facing.

When you rejuvenate, you recharge your battery.  And with proper energy and rest, you are less likely to want to complain.

Tip #6: Be a Problem Solver

Rather than complaining with no purpose, put conscious energy into resolving your problems.

Complaining just to complain rarely is a fix to any problem. 

But assessing a problem situation with the intention to create a more positive outcome is worth your investment.

If your boss communicates with you disrespectfully, how can you be the catalyst for better communication?  Maybe they don’t know how you feel and you can take the courage to share the impact their words have on you. 

Or it could be that a co-worker seems to never keep up with their work and it impacts your workload.  You could attempt to work collaboratively with them to create an improved workstream.

Your pay may be embarrassingly lower than others who do what you do.  You could approach your boss or your HR representative to see if it is possible for a change.

 Instead of demanding fairness, which you may deserve, you can first explore to gain an understanding.  There may be a reason for the discrepancy or you may have to face that your work output is not on the same level as someone else’s.

Each of these situations presents somewhat easy solutions.  But the problems that you just can’t stop talking about often are difficult, repeated, and truly disruptive experiences.

Even the toughest problems can have real solutions if you seek to find them.

When necessary, seek out counsel, gain professional support, or get advice from others with more influence.  You may even have to strategize on how to leave your job if there is no resolution within your job.

Related Article: How to Know It is Time for a Job Change

The goal is to solve your issue instead of sitting in the mode of constant complaining. 

Taking an active role to improve your situation is an act of giving to yourself.  And this is a much better solution than taking away your peace through constant complaining.

Conclusion

Anyone can find a reason to complain about their job.   As long as you work alongside people, you can expect imperfection.  It is what makes us human.

But constant excessive complaining is just b*tching.  It is unproductive, stress-producing, and leads to making a bad situation worse.

Make a choice starting today if you want to continue to just complain or actually improve your work situation. 

Create a standard that your terrible work life is not going to spoil your entire life. And become the catalyst for positive change instead of the center of negative attention.

Only you can take the steps to remove the negativity from your day-to-day. 

When you stop saying that it’s your job’s fault and instead make it your responsibility, you can own the type of day you have.

Stop complaining and create solutions to remove the complaints from your daily habits.  You and those around you will be better for it.

3 Ways to Change Your Work Life for the Better NOW

3 Ways to Change Your Work Life for the Better NOW

3 Steps to Change Your Work Life for the Better NOW

Why is it that we can become the master of complaining about what is and can never seem to master where we would rather be?

The days are too long.

The money is not enough.

The boss is a jerk.

The commute is for-ev-er!

Nothing is right and we just confirm it to ourselves over and over again.

Misery loves company so you can always find a person to listen or to join in on your song.  But how do you begin to sing a new tune??

There is a way.

You can wake up and step into the job that you always wanted and sing the praises of how happy you are to do it.

You can have a job that you want to have and love everything about it.

Follow these 3 steps to change your work life for the better now and live your work life differently.

Step #1:  Master Being the Master of Your Life

Do not be a novice in living your life.  Master living how you choose to live.

Far too often we find fault in the lives that we live.  And then we take minimal accountability for our life’s outcome.

We do what we have to do.  We play the hand that life has dealt us.  We do the best with what we have.

These statements may be fact.  But in stating facts and in acknowledging stark realities, we relinquish our power.

To transition from novice to master of our life’s goals we must feel comfortable taking claim in our ability to command our lives.

To affirm is to self-empower.

Instead of stating that you do what you have to do, proclaim that I do what I want to do.

You do not play the hand that you are dealt.  Instead state, I play to win and I win often.

And when you take on this new frame of mind, you start making subtle changes. Shifting the way you see and live your life is the path to creating powerful change.

How Do You Know When You Have Mastered Life Mastery?

You are the sole decision-maker of what to you is a good life to live. 

As it relates to your work life, you alone decide what is the acceptable standard. Where you work, what you do for work, and how you perform your work is fulfilling based on your opinion.

You may say that others have influence on your definition of work fulfilled. 

But other’s influence is only of substance if you permit their opinion to hold importance.  Again, you are the master and you are the only one who can be.

Shifting your mindset to one of ultimate accountability, primary responsibility, and singular and final say, is the utmost wielding of personal power.

When you accept this, now you are in the position to evaluate and make decisions from a new perspective.

You may not like the job you have today. But you are the person with ultimate accountability, primary responsibility, and singular and final say to change it.

If you do not change it, know that you have chosen to stay where you are. You have no other person to be accountable to in your decision other than yourself.

If you do not know what to do about it, you have ultimate accountability, primary responsibility, and singular and final say to figure out what to do.

And, by the way, you don’t have to leave a job to be empowered. 

You can also take accountability, in creating your work environment, content, and even your commute to be the best you have ever experienced. 

Related Article: How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

Once you take command of how you want to live, you are in the perfect position to make it happen.

But taking command is not the only step in the process.  You must also believe…

Step #2:  Believe In What You Want to Believe In

Your belief system is the foundation by which you live.

Some beliefs are consciously acknowledged in your mind; others are subconscious and even feel automatically derived.

You may not know what you believe on any given subject until someone asks you for your opinion.  Your thoughts and your actions may at times be inconsistent with what you understood to be your beliefs.

However, when you hold a belief with conviction it can dictate the standard by which you live. 

A strongly held belief can act as a framework for how you live, how you interact with others, and the decisions you make on a daily basis.

For this reason, beliefs are critically important in propelling the actions we take.  Beliefs create motivation, focus, passion, and meaning.

How Do Your Beliefs Impact Your Work Life?

Your work is an outcome of your beliefs.  You could say that your job is a manifestation of your beliefs around your capabilities and your potential for earnings.

You applied for a job because you believed you would get hired.  You perform your job duties based on beliefs that you can perform them. Or you believe that you have the ability to learn.

You fear losing a job when you no longer believe that you are capable to perform it.  Or you may believe that someone else is better. You may even believe that your company is no longer able to secure your employment.

No matter the direction, you are surrounded by your own beliefs as it relates to your work. 

When you want a change in your work, you must first believe that the change is possible.

You may have mastered living your life in accordance with your own definition. But if you do not believe that the future you conceive is possible, you will remain standing still.

This is why you must believe in what you say you believe in.

Related Article: How to Make Your Dreams Come True: A Planning Guide

If you say you believe you can be in management one day, you must treat this belief as fact. 

When you claim that you will be a millionaire in a year, you must take on this belief with conviction.

And if you determine that what you believe is not today a reality, you must be comfortable in knowing that reality shifts and so can you.

This is how you create change in your work life.  You believe. 

Permit yourself to believe without evidence in the current moment and open opportunities to let new realities into your life.

You will have different conversations. You will connect with different people.  You will see new possibilities.  And, you will be inspired to new actions. 

Belief is how you awaken the power of your life’s mastery and walk an inspired path toward what you want in your life.

Step #3:  Be Inspired to Follow Your Inspired Action

Inspired action can appear to come from nowhere.

You can be busy in living your daily life and, seemingly from the cosmos, an idea comes into your mind. 

But it can also come directly from another source.  

In the midst of a conversation, you come up with solutions.

Listening to someone else’s conversation, you gain a spark of influence that simply resonates with you.

Seeing someone else’s accomplishments you see a new way of thinking.

The spark of creation that moves you from thought to action and that jolts positive emotion through you is your Gift of Inspiration.

We all have had the experience of an inspired motivation to move in a certain direction or to take a certain action.

But all too often we have also had the experience where we received inspiration but rationalized our way from it.

On our quest for change, we can be driven to live a new life of our choosing. 

And we can believe fervently in our dreams for more. 

But then we find fault in the path laid out in front of us, particularly if it is brand new.

Brand new can feel foreign and create insecurity and fear.

But really, how do you do something different by doing only the same things you have done before?

The comfort of conformity can seem as if it is the same as doing the right thing. 

Conformity can feel good in its familiarity and security.  It can feel as if coming home.

Newness on the other hand can feel challenging, risky, uncomfortable, and utterly terrifying. 

How can you follow a path of discomfort and know that it is taking you in the right direction?

How Do You Know When Your Inspiration Is Right?

The inspired path can be tough to follow when you are unfamiliar with the road it leads you on.

And beyond this, when you are taking new roads as it relates to your work, it can make you feel very insecure.

Today you have a job, but what if you are inspired to leave?  You have a great relationship with your boss, but what if you are inspired to try for a new role in a different department?

How about the perfect job that pays you half your current salary?  Is this inspired action or insanity?

To know your inspiration, you must first know yourself.

Remember, that you have mastered listening to your own voice and understanding your own decisions.  You also have created a relationship with what is important to you by way of your beliefs.

When you are given an idea for something new, no matter how strange or uncomfortable, take time to evaluate.

Does this idea feel right to you?  Examine if you find it off-putting or if you are more concerned over another person’s perception. 

Do you believe that the idea will benefit you?  It is important to stay true to your beliefs and not take action in conflict with the foundation of who you are.

Is this idea challenging you? It’s okay to be challenged.  But beyond the challenge will you be in a better state or a worse one.

Trust in your ability to do what is best for you.  And further, trust that should you falter, you have the ability to recover and to thrive through learning from your mistakes.

Every action that you take will not be perfect.  But it may be the perfect path that leads you to become stronger in yourself, better in living your beliefs, and more skilled in interpreting your inspiration.

You will develop the gift of knowing when your inspiration is right but only if you take every opportunity to follow it. 

Conclusion

You do not have to stand still in a job you do not want and repetitively live what you know instead of what you dream.

You can have a job that you love and that you are excited to go to every day, even if it is in your own home.

The power to make the job you desire your reality lies within you and can become yours today.

  1. Master being the master of your life.  Take ownership of your definition of what you want in life and what satisfies you.  And live in accordance with your decisions every chance that you get.
  2. Believe in what you want to believe in.  Commit to your beliefs as the charter of your life’s framework.  Take courage to set the foundation of what you see as the way that you want to live and what you want to do in your life’s experience.  This serves as your guiding light on your life’s journey.
  3. Be inspired to follow your inspired action.  When you know yourself enough to know what you want and have the foundation of beliefs that guide your decisions, you will be presented again and again with inspiration for the next steps to take.  Be ready, be mindful, and be diligent to move.  Trust that you can make the right call for the right move that takes you on the right path for your best life.

Your work is a manifestation of the beliefs of your perceived talent and the value exchange received for your talents.

You decide what you earn, how you spend your time, and who you share your assets with. You set the terms of what is acceptable or unacceptable, and most importantly what you want.

Take these 3 Steps to Change Your Work Life NOW and have the job that you want sooner than you ever believed before.

How to Conquer Self-Doubt at Work with Positive Affirmations

How to Conquer Self-Doubt at Work with Positive Affirmations

HOW TO CONQUER SELF-DOUBT AT WORK WITH POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Have you been in that place when you feel that all eyes are on you and everyone in the room can see you fail?

  • Every word that you say is a confirmation of how inept you are at what you do.
  • Compliments, if they even happen, ring false in your ears as if charitable gifts of pity. 
  • Constructive criticism feels like walking barefoot on shards of broken glass.

And, in your mind, there is no convincing that you are good at anything.  Because last you checked, you have a solid history of mistakes, missed deadlines, and embarrassing fails.

This is self-doubt at its worse and it can be a crippling experience. 

When self-doubt shows up at work, it can affect your career and your overall potential for joy in what you do. 

You Can Change Your Pattern of Self-Doubt at Work

One way to change your pattern of self-doubt is through the regular use of positive affirmations.

Self-doubt can show up in your work life in many ways. One common way is in the manner that you speak to yourself.

When the basis of your self-doubt is your own negative self-talk, positive affirmations give you a different and better language to speak.

If used consistently, you can slowly start to reprogram the habit of negative thoughts and words. You can then replace them with truthful empowerment.

This is not an instant process but it can be initiated immediately. 

By maintaining a goal to improve your self-treatment, you can conquer your self-doubt and infuse confidence into your work-life.

Positive affirmations can be a significant tool to make this happen.

What Exactly is Self-Doubt?

The definition of self-doubt can be described well by its opposite.

Self-doubt is having a lack of confidence.

It is the opposite of demonstrating self-love or self-esteem in a triggering moment or overall. 

When you experience self-doubt, what you are not experiencing is strength, wholeness, or assuredness.

If self-doubt is a chronic condition, you are often on the opposite side of happiness, calm, or personal fulfillment. 

With all of this lack, the positive attributes of life can feel far out of reach. 

Those who perform the best and enjoy their job the most, feel confident and happy with what they do. 

Self-doubt and loving your job just don’t work well together.

Why Are You Talking Negative About Yourself, Anyway?

Self-doubt through regular negative self-talk can seem to have cropped up from nowhere.  You may even say that this is how you have always been.

In reality, we often learn habits like this through our life experiences. The more that behavior is reinforced by our environment, the more probable we may make it a part of our norm.

  • Do you spend time with other people who complain about themselves externally or who say negative things about other people?
  • Are parents and loved ones making it acceptable to talk negative about yourself but complimenting yourself is proud and arrogant?  You may begin to internalize that negative self-talk is somehow equivalent with being humble or more realistic.
  • Have you made a string of mistakes in your work and feel that it warrants criticism? If you examined yourself from the outside looking in, do you see a failure or someone undeserving of their job?

These are just a few examples of how negative self-talk can be introduced or reinforced within you. 

And then, with repeat exposure, it can become your habit of understanding and a major contributor to your self-doubt.

Try looking at your life through a different lens.

This can allow you the opportunity to embrace imperfections, reduce exposure to negative surroundings, and create better outcomes through better internal communication.

Why Is Addressing Self-Doubt and Negative Self-Talk Important?

Self-doubt can keep you standing still when life compels you to move forward. 

It can strip the joy from what you do every day and make what could be your dream job feel like a job from hell. 

Too often a bad job can be confused with a pattern of internal negativity. 

If you do not see the good in what you do, the potential for learning and growth within yourself, then it is likely you will feel that your job is also a contributing factor to your lack of success too.

Nothing is right when all you see and talk about is wrong.

But if you transition your negative self-talk into positive reinforcement of your strengths and opportunities, you elevate your emotional set point and your sense of self.

Through self-awareness and empowerment, you now can…..

  • See past mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, or
  • Interpret missed deadlines as flags for problems to solve and opportunities for process improvement, or
  • Reevaluate embarrassing moments as necessary and meaningful life lessons

As human beings, we are imperfect by nature. 

And when you embrace your personal imperfection you can move away from self-criticism. Instead, you place your attention on positive self-awareness and empowerment.

Your imperfections are what make you unique.  And your uniqueness is what makes you special.

And why does this matter when it comes to your work?

When you are able to show your strengths well, demonstrate understanding of your weaknesses, and also project confidence, you are truly well-rounded. 

  • You confidently know what jobs to take and feel empowered to pass on the ones that will be a struggle. 
  • You understand what work requires more study and learning and what you can take on without any thought at all. 
  • You can take on challenges with openness and transparency and feel comfortable asking for support in areas you know are not your strengths.

You can connect with others better, build stronger work relationships, and perform at your best when you embrace the totality of what you are.

How Positive Affirmations Help Conquer Self-Doubt

Positive affirmation can help conquer your self-doubt by supporting you to build a negative self-talk alternative.

When you introduce a new pattern of regular words of encouragement and self-worth, personally-directed negativity no longer has a place in your internal conversation

You stop normalizing thoughts or words of your failure, lack of ability, or fear of new things. 

Instead, highlight your patterns of success, your ability to move forward even after setbacks, and your capability to survive and thrive through change.

Positive affirmations can be a powerful support in rewriting your pattern of negative self-talk. With them, you can interject confidence and self-worth into your daily communication.

Used regularly, positive affirmations help to change your internal narrative and also provide you readied alternatives when you are not practiced at saying the best things to yourself.

 How to Use Positive Affirmations

The best use of positive affirmations is a self-defined practice. 

So long as, in their use, you see movement towards your goals you have developed a good practice.

To help you develop the best practice for you, here are a few commonly used ideas:

Curate Your Perfect Positive Affirmations List

Search for positive affirmations through places like Google or Pinterest or through websites like Curvy Points.  Purposely look for subjects that you believe cause you the most concern.

When considering options, think about the attribute that you want to improve. 

  • Do you want to be more Confident?
  • Are you hard on yourself in general and need to speak more Self-Love?
  • Do you obsess unnecessarily and need to create more Calm in your work day?

There are thousands of affirmations that exist on all of these subjects and more. 

As you read them, examine how you feel.  Sometimes you can be immediately empowered.  Other times you may feel uncomfortable because you do not feel that it feels like you just yet. 

Even the positive affirmations that challenge you may be worth considering for your list. 

It can be the hardest ones to say to yourself that you may really need to start hearing on a regular basis.

Download Affirmations to Conquer Self Doubt at Work HERE
Download Affirmations for Conquering Your Goals HERE

Examine Your Positive Affirmations List for Best Fit

While affirmations can be of different designs, subjects, and lengths, when new to using affirmations it may be worth considering keeping a common theme and choosing ones of shorter length.

You want to not only find the right words to say but you want to remember to say them. 

Shorter phrases on a singular theme can make remembering your positive affirmations that much easier.

Memorize 2 or 3 at first and build your practice of use over time. 

You may quickly find that what you thought was a major focus for you really wasn’t that big of a deal after all. 

It could also be that one subject of positive affirmation was valid for one week and the next week you need a different focus of attention.

Let the process be fluid but be diligent to attend to your list and to use your positive affirmations daily.

It is likely your negative self-talk had the floor a lot. It’s time to give your positive affirmations as much or more time in your mind.

Create a Positive Affirmations Morning Ritual

Starting your day in the right mindset can be the perfect way to combat self-doubt before it starts.

And positive affirmations can be instrumental to start your day right.

Now that you have curated a list of positive affirmations, keep your list handy. Use them as soon as you wake up from your sleep or while you are getting dressed. 

While you may have memorized a few favorites, this is the time to review your whole list.

Take time to say each word. Resonate with the meaning of each phrase. And even create a visualization of yourself embodying the words that you have said.

Confidence, self-love, success, and motivation feel different and create different facial expressions, even presentation, and stance in your body. 

Take on all the effects of these new positive affirmations on you. 

Remember, you are re-writing all the expressions, thoughts, and bodily impact of negative self-talk. So you want to give yourself as many queues as possible of these positive changes.

Use Positive Affirmation Addendums

When first tackling your habits of negative self-talk, it may be hard to remember to say positive statements to yourself instead. 

The reality is that you likely have been saying negative things for a long time and to abruptly start a new pattern is not likely.

Recognizing your negative-self talk triggers can help to begin opening awareness to when and how often you present yourself with negative ideas and self-doubt.

In the midst of your negative comments, you can add on a positive affirmation addendum to steer your thoughts in a new direction. 

For example, if you would normally say, “I am not good at this!” you may add on, “But I am capable to learn new things”. 

Or if you ask yourself, “Why would they give this for Me to do of all people?”, you may follow up by saying, “I always do my absolute best.  Maybe they knew that”.

Instead of leaving yourself defeated, give yourself a breath of fresh air and room to feel better about your capabilities.

Know that change takes time.  But inserting positive affirmations into your life is worth the effort for the rewards of positivity, calm, self-worth, and self-confidence that they bring.

Train yourself to conquer self-doubt and become the success you want to be.

Conclusion

Self-doubt is difficult to live with and even more difficult to address at work.

Particularly when self-doubt builds in you due to negative self-talk, it can cloud your judgment about yourself and your ability to be successful at work.  

Positive affirmations are good tools to re-engineer your thoughts and internal dialogue and to create an improved self-image.

They can improve not only how you speak to yourself but how you feel about yourself and your overall future.

Choosing the right positive affirmations for you is necessary to not only improve what you say but to feel genuine in the process. 

Taking inventory of your emotions and what words resonate with you, can make your positive affirmation practice most meaningful and impactful.

With the right tools in hand, you can build a practice of infusing positive affirmations into your work life and create a more positive and healthy work experience every day.

Create Even More Practices to Improve Your Life at Work and at Home:

How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

Are You Broken Because Your Life Is Not Balanced?

The Perfect Self-Love Tips to Change Your Life

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How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

How to Use Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

Self-worth journaling prompts can assist when knowing your self-worth does not come easy.  That knowing and acceptance can be hard for many of us.

In our early beginnings, we may learn self-worth based on the reaction and input of others. 

Before our language, critical thought, and interpretation mature we may look to others for our definition of value.

And based on others’ definitions, we may see certain aspects of ourselves as worthy or unworthy.

Through the years as we grow, we then begin to create our own definitions. 

Now coming into an understanding of ourselves, we may seek self-worth but not always have it.  The patterns of thoughts and beliefs received from others can train an unworthy automatic response.

We see ourselves as less than others.  Our ideas and opinions become insignificant due to the reaction or opinion of others. 

The ability to have what we want, do as we want, or be who we want is decided by something other than ourselves.

To reclaim our place of prominence in our own lives, it is necessary that we know and live in accordance with our own sense of worth.

Why Is Self-Worth Important?

Having self-worth at its very basic level is represented by our self-care.  To act as if you are of worth or value means to provide care toward yourself as if you are of value.

This can start as simple as basic personal hygiene, nutrition, how you rest, and how you attend to any personal problem or ailment. 

It can also be represented by how you speak to yourself, acknowledge your strengths and positive attributes, or simply love yourself out loud.

Do you take care of yourself? 

Do you prioritize your well-being?

Are you worthy of care?

Do you see acknowledging your self-worth as important?

The importance of self-worth is that you are the lead of your own definition.  You live life in accordance with how you define you want to live it.

In living as you deem right for you, you honor your feelings, your interpretation of yourself, and your opinion. 

When you take accountability and ownership for who and what you are in accordance with your definition, you essentially create you.

Having self-worth benefits you because with it you are wholly created in your own defined self-image. 

You can define the parameters and live as healthy as you choose mind, body, and spirit. 

How Does Journaling Support Your Self-Worth?

Journaling provides an opportunity to record your own thoughts and ideas.  It is a method to capture what you think and believe without outside interference. 

Your thoughts and ideas may have been influenced by others. 

However, through journaling, you have the opportunity to express any thought and to examine if you want to hold it as true or important to you.

Rather than live through auto-pilot, journaling permits the opportunity to pause and reflect on the thoughts that come to you.

Using the journaling process, you can consider the subject of your self-worth and your personal thoughts, ideas, and feelings on all aspects of your lie.

With this self-examination, you can determine where you feel vulnerable or misaligned in your life.  How much have you permitted the outside world to misdirect your internal thoughts of yourself?

Decide if you want to address these insecurities and improve your personal well-being.

Even if you are unwilling to change, you can make peace with your vulnerabilities and embrace who you are with them.

If you do not like your vulnerability and the emotions that come with it, you can choose to make a conscious and intentional plan of improvement.

On either path, journaling can serve as a resource.

You can write where you are, where you would like to be, and your plan for the journey in-between.

With regular journaling, you can unlock how you walk your life’s path and identify if you need to change direction on a daily basis.

What Are Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth?

Journaling prompts for self-worth help to inspire thoughts around your definition of self-worth and self-value.

With this inspiration, you have the opportunity to evaluate how you define your value to yourself. 

You can bring clarity to the actions you take or withdraw from based on your self-opinion. Look closely to determine if you have patterns that do not serve you or that are made primarily to please others at your expense.

You will discover that even the smallest daily actions can be clues to define how your define your personal value.

There are no absolute rules to self-worth other than the ones that you make for yourself.

You may find what you have learned as self-worth in the past is not what you agree with as your definition today. 

Determine if you actually have a definition but maybe you are not practicing it actively in your life. 

You may also learn that there are situations in your life where you honor your self-worth well. It is important to identify, intentionally repeat, and honor these practices.  

Journaling prompts targeted specifically around self-worth will help to call out these situations and give you space to reflect upon them. 

In this way, while you will use prompts to begin the internal conversation, you will lead the way to your own self-discovery.

20 Journaling Prompts for Self-Worth

  1. What is the best compliment you have given yourself or received from someone else?
  2. What is important to you in life?
  3. Without overthinking it, what is your opinion of yourself?
  4. What is your biggest accomplishment and how did you achieve it?
  5. What are the best attributes of your closest friends?  Do you share the same ones?
  6. Who do you admire the most and why? Do you have similar characteristics?
  7. What do you do that makes you most proud?
  8. What is an example of you at your best?
  9. If you could be, do, or have anything in world, what is top on your wish list? Why?
  10. Do you take time to care for yourself?
  11. In what ways are you exceptional?  In which ways do you want to be exceptional?
  12. When you love and/or respect someone else, how do you show it?
  13. The last time you took care of yourself, what did you do and how did you feel about it?
  14. If you made a self-date, what would you do?
  15. What do you aspire to be?  Do you believe you are capable of being what you dream? Why?
  16. What positive statement do you say to yourself often? If you made a new one, what would it be?
  17. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your strengths?
  18. When have you truly showed your kindness?
  19. What is it like to be your friend?
  20. What is your definition of self-worth? Do you live this definition?

Responding to Your Journal Prompts

You can utilize the journal prompts here, research others, or make your own. 

In all cases when responding to your journal prompts, you want to be open and honest with yourself.

Some questions may seem easy and straightforward, others may be difficult to answer.  You may find it easy to reflect upon the positives in your past but not in your now. 

Sometimes you will not find your positive attributes right on the surface. But searching for even the smallest compliment can cause more to come to light.

When it’s hard to compliment yourself or recall positive interaction with others, for example, don’t skip the prompt.  Instead, look at the situation deeper.

How would you like things to be?

What would be an ideal outcome?

How can you impact your now so that what you truly want becomes your now or your future?

Taking these steps helps to uncover your definition and crystalize your ideas of self-worth and how it applies to you.

To this end, when you have good experiences, memories, or thoughts of yourself, do not shy away from them. 

Spend time on the subject.

 Write pages and pages if you can. 

Take the time to bask in what is brilliant about you. 

This time taken to relish in the best parts of you helps to further strengthen the foundation of your self-worth.

Conclusion

Self-worth journal prompts can help to define your values, your opinions, and essentially your voice in the world.

When you have a solid definition created by you of your self-worth, it helps you define who and what you are. 

Your valuing of yourself is what makes you healthy, mind, body, and spirit. And it helps you to healthfully interact with others.

Taking the time to journal permits you the opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and feelings and to gain better clarity of how self-worth is defined by you.

Any version of self-reflection and introspection can provide a better knowledge of yourself and your interpretation of the world around you.

Self-worth journal prompts can lend to you knowing yourself well and valuing your uniqueness in a deeper and more impactful way.

You deserve to be valued, and the most important person to know and show your worth is yourself.

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Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

Home organization can seem perfect in theory, but be a tedious chore in reality. Putting your focus on the outcome that you want can make the steps you take to get there easier.   Using affirmations throughout the process can be a big part of keeping the right focus.

All too often you lose momentum before you start.  When you see around your home what seems like an endless sea of mini-projects, papers, and random paraphernalia, it’s daunting. 

And when nothing has a home in your home, you can feel like everything has taken over your house.

This may be the perfect motivation to have a beautiful home.  But it may not necessarily be the motivation to organize your way there.

When you don’t feel like cleaning or organizing, before you push through and do it anyway, pause and get mentally prepared.

Don’t let your mental energy be yet another hurdle to jump through. 

Instead, let your mind motivate you to get your to-do list done.  And feel good all the way through your organization journey.

Use these 10 Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing to get you from overwhelmed to overjoyed in your living space.

First, Why Do You Need Affirmations?

Affirmations are an excellent way to focus and build intention with your thoughts. 

So often the mind will run from topic to topic seemingly without pause.  And scattered between subjects there can be a number of negative and demotivating thoughts.

Allowing the negative thoughts to run without borders can cause your energy to run away with it.  And when you are looking to build your motivation for action, you find that are already mentally drained.

Affirmations can replace a negative train of thought and energize your mind with positive momentum.

With the right words in mind, you can find yourself hopeful, inspired, optimistic, and generally in a good mood.

This vitalized mental status can be the perfect frame of mind to make your vision and your actions come to life.

Why Do You Need Home Organization Affirmations?

Affirmations for home organization can infuse power thoughts and actions into an otherwise mentally draining project. 

Organizing causes tons of thinking.

What do you want to do with this? 

How do you create a home for that? 

To organize well you are:

  1. being intentional and thoughtful about your needs
  2. creating the flow of your home, and
  3. making long-lasting changes for order and harmony for you and your family 

All of this may be new and therefore require a completely new train of thought!

With new trains of thought, come even more thinking, and therefore even more opportunity for negativity and self-sabotage.

As soon as you are unable to create an immediate solution for your clutter and chaos, you could be faced with thoughts of your ineptness for the entire project.

Home organization affirmations help you to keep the right thoughts about your abilities and capabilities at the forefront of your mind.

You do have the ability to create a new order for your home.  You are completely capable to create or research new ideas for order and put them into action.

Home organization affirmations help to sustain the right thoughts in your mind regardless if you are at the easiest or toughest part of your project.

What Are the Benefits of Home Organization?

More than having a picture-perfect home, home organization helps to reduce the clutter in your mind.

Your surroundings are a reflection of you and your thinking.  When you are disorganized in your home, you carry more than physical clutter in it. 

Your true homebase is within. 

When you are constantly in search of something you have lost or you find your eyes land on a project to be done, you are simultaneously exerting mental energy.

Mental energy or attention on unnecessary subjects can be significantly reduced when you know where things are, know where to put them, or lay eyes on empty spaces instead of clutter.

With a less taxed mind, you can then have opportunity to enjoy the peace within your home and in your thoughts.

It will be easier to take inventory of what you are grateful for in your home.

You will find more often your home to represent peace and relaxation.

Less distraction, less stress, and less wasted mental energy all contribute to your peaceful, focused, and clear mind. 

And with a positive mental state, you have room to be more creative, more innovative, more inspired, or simply more relaxed. 

How Do You Use Affirmations?

Affirmations have many applications. 

Be open to experimenting and find what works for you when using them.

The simplest method is to find or create a statement that has positive meaning to you and to read or say the statement outloud.

You can repeat the statement once or repeatedly.  The number of times said is not as important as the statement becoming your focus in the moment.

When you have a list of affirmations, you can read them all at once.  You can also choose to take one or two from the list and to repeat them as if a mantra.

When doing difficult or tedious tasks, it can be helpful to repeat your chosen affirmations while performing your task to keep your mental energy aligned with what you are doing.

You can also choose to make ceremony with your affirmations. 

You can choose to consciously and intentionally clear your mind before taking any action. Close your eyes and perform a few deep breaths. 

Once you find yourself centered, you can light a candle or take a moment to write your affirmations to signify a start to your new thinking.

Then take time to read your affirmations, settling on every word, and purposefully aligning yourself with the meaning to you behind each statement.

When you have completed this, you are now ready to take on your tasks with the proper mental energy with your mind and actions in full alignment.

Take time to learn what works for you and practice using your home organization affirmations when creating the environment you aspire to have.

Happy Organizing!

10 Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

Keeping a positive state of mind and being kind to yourself as you live your life’s journey can be tough at times. But the rewards can be significant.

What do you do to keep a strong positive mindset? Do you use affirmations or just muscle through when you need to get things done? Share your story in the Comments Section.

Need a little more happy thoughts inspiration, take a look at these posts:

The Perfect Self Love Tips to Change Your Life

7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

How to Make Your Dreams Come True: A Planning Guide

5 Reasons You Want to Quit Your Job When Maybe You Shouldn’t

5 Reasons You Want to Quit Your Job When Maybe You Shouldn’t

No one will know you better than you.  And for the same reason, no one will know when it is time to quit your job better than you.

However, knowing when to quit a job is not as easy as it seems. 

One bad meeting, a couple of bad co-workers, and a highly irritating boss and you are ready to throw in the towel. 

Sometimes, before you quit, it makes sense to take a closer look.  Define what you want, remove the emotions from your point of view (if only for a moment), and see what you have.

You could be amazed that everything you are looking for can be found right in front of you. 

Or, you could confirm confidently that you have no choice but to leave your job.

 Regardless of the outcome, take a clear look before you make a move. 

Look at these 5 Ways You Quit Your Job When Maybe You Shouldn’t (and the 16 Solutions – S1-S16 – to keeping the job you have on purpose):

1. You Keep Thinking About Quitting

It is uncommon that a person who loves their job, sees their future with a job, or feels they are working their dream job, is also constantly thinking of quitting.

However, not every thought that you think repeatedly is one you want to listen to. 

You should at least notice when a repeat thought is happening and why.

We tend to be hardwired to repeatedly think thoughts that we are emotionally tied to.  These emotions can be good or bad, but they intensify the impact of any thought in our minds.

When thinking of quitting a job, on one hand, you can be hopeful about the prospect of a new experience. On the other hand, you can be miserable with the experience you are living and want it to end.

In either case, you are not settled or satisfied with where you are and are more focused on something different.

Don’t ignore what you are already telling yourself.

Something about you and your job is not aligned.

But you do have choices. Don’t allow your current unsettled feeling to lead you to believe that your only option is to leave.

There can be times when we become our own worst enemy and harbor on the negative

This negativity compulsion can be bigger than your job.  It can be your total disposition about the world in general.

When we do this for too long, we can create a negative lens for all the things around us.  

Make a conscious effort to recognize if you have a pattern of negativity within yourself and choose to see things differently(S1).

You can create new enjoyable experiences with others at work (S2) or make a conscious effort to improve your work environment (S3).

But if this is truly not possible, you can also release yourself from your discomfort and simply look for a new job.

It is possible to find a job that you really want and one that you would not dream of wanting to leave.

2. You Feel STUCK, TRAPPED, or UNMOTIVATED at Work

Like a broken elevator, some jobs leave you right where you are standing. 

While sometimes we want to run before we walk, other times a job can make you feel as if you are at a perpetual crawl.

You can’t expand to learn new things, so you are stuck doing the same old thing.

There is no way to move up or you repeatedly get passed over for promotion, so you feel trapped in a dead-end position.

You are bursting with ideas and suggestions, but they are not listened to or supported.

The summary of it all is that you feel unmotivated to attempt to do anything more.

Before you give up on your job, explore ways to make what you want happen.

Look for inspiration and ideas from others around you who have been successful in what you want to do (S4).  Take advantage of your insider access to talented co-workers who may love to show you what they do or share how they gained their skills.

Professional growth is not limited to changing your position.  You can grow by learning people and processes and practicing different forms of communication(S5).

Try talking and connecting with your boss in review of your professional needs and interests.

Every company and every manager has their own way of building their staff to become more.  You may need to learn how to connect with their vision before forcing yours onto them.

Create a win-win by drawing clear lines between meeting your needs and the needs of your department. You may find that you and your manager have a common interest and as a result a shared enthusiasm in your career development.

There is always a way to approach your goals from a different angle and to achieve success. 

Another thing to consider is whether or not you are truly being passed by.

It is important to acknowledge that there are times when you actually get what you want. And even more when your voice is truly heard. 

Sometimes we get so addicted to winning that we fall apart whenever we lose or get told no.

No job will take your every suggestion or implement your every idea.

Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses (S6).  And remember you can experience both at any job.

Identify your role in your success

When it comes to promotion, note that this type of change can require time, experience, and a particular level of talent.  Not every single person is capable to attain what’s required. 

Take an honest evaluation of whether you truly meet the requirements for the work that you seek to do. If not, see what opportunities you have to grow both inside and outside of your business (S7).

You may be putting full responsibility on your job to give to you when you have not yet invested in yourself.

Now, if you feel that you have turned every stone, tried every angle, explored every avenue, and are still standing still, it may be time to move on.

Your company is not the only answer to your growth, but it should meet you on your professional journey.  If it is unable to do this, then it may be time to find a company that will.

3. You Struggle to Come Up with Good Reasons to Stay

Looking for the positive in a situation is an excellent starting point in taking responsibility for your life experience.

You cannot control the world, but you can control your opinion of it.

However, when a job is just a bad fit, it can feel impossible to come up with the positive end of the stick.

  • You are working.
  • And you are able to earn an income.
  • Plus you know how to do your job well.

Then suddenly your list of affirmative statements ends, and you are left wondering why you are still here.

It is important before you make a big decision like quitting a job that you evaluate if things are really as bad as they seem.

Particularly when you build a negative expectation or negative emotional pattern related to your job, it is extremely difficult to see things differently.

Take time to write a pro and cons list about your work (S8).

Have discussions with others at work with tenure and casually ask what made them stay all their years (S9).

Seek out the positive instead of expecting it to just show up. 

Look at what you have learned, what relationships you have built, and the comforts you have gained from being in a familiar environment (S10).

But if with all of your searching, you still struggle with finding positive to be found, you may simply be in the wrong place. 

A good place to work, like any good relationship, is not a struggle.  You should know easily why you would want to be there even if occasionally you are not happy with the day-to-day.

If all that comes to mind is the hardship of staying, then make your life easier and start your plan to go.

4. You Are Emotionally Disconnected from Anything “Important”

The pace and energy of a job are as important of a factor as the actual work that you do. 

Every business, and even the departments within them, have a different culture and manner that each part interacts with the other.

At one time you may have been a part of that natural rhythm.  But now you are no longer part of that flow.

Deadlines come and go with an urgency in the air.  Must-do projects sail through with pressure and intensity.

You may even sit in the middle of all the calamity, but you just don’t care.

When you lose your passion for your position, it shows. 

The days become longer.  The work becomes meaningless.  And your internal fire is impossible to light.

This type of dwindled energy can occur for many different reasons and not all lead to leaving your job.

You may have had a recent negative experience at work that is too fresh for you to ignore.  Or a blow to your ego too big for you to be enthusiastic about work at the moment.

When problems like this arise, remember to consider that it may be a long-term disruption or simply a temporary discomfort. 

When experiencing pain from your job, let time heal before you decide you need to leave (S11).

Another reason you can lose interest in the usual work frenzy is that you are burned out. 

You want to have more enthusiasm, but your cup is empty and has been for so long there is nothing to pull from.

Give yourself the opportunity to replenish and see if with proper rest, self-care, and rebalancing you return to your normal energetic self (S12).

Still another reason for the disconnect is when things other than work have your attention.

You may have a sick parent, experienced a recent death, or even a break-up.  Your emotional ties to other parts of your life may leave you empty at work.

The reality is that while it is not necessary to pour your emotions into your work when you do you feel more connected.

Allow yourself to be different when life requires you to be.

Permit yourself to attend to other parts of your life and to limit your emotional attachment to work priorities(S13).

You can still be productive and yet emotionally disconnected.  And if you are comfortable, let your boss or co-workers know when you have distractions that may make the way you do your work seem different.

You may find in being transparent that others become more helpful and supportive until you are able to bring yourself back to center (S14).

No matter the obstacle, when all the dust settles and you can see and feel clearly, take another look at your job.

If even with a clear mind and filled emotional tank you still lack passion for where you are, then it may be time to look for a new work love in your life.

5. You Just Do Not Like What You Do

A job is more than a paycheck.  And it can be disturbing when this realization shows itself each and every day at work.

You may have started your job because you had to pay the bills.  But after time you are looking for more.

Loving what you do may seem like a privilege.  But you would appreciate it if you at least liked what you do. 

If you struggle with having an interest in your job, it can make getting through your day feel like crossing a desert.  The dry reality of completing meaningless tasks can be torturous.

This realization does not always mean that quitting your job is the answer.

Many companies have a number of positions and would love to hire someone who has tenure with the business that they know and trust.

Look for other internal job opportunities (S15).  Or, if you feel you can support the company in a unique way, consider proposing a new position (S16).

There is no harm in being creative or expressing your interests openly. 

The worse that can happen is that you are told no. 

And then you can decide if quitting is the only option that you have left.

See yourself as a valuable asset capable of learning and taking on new challenges.  You may be just what your company needs.

And if not, another company will be happy to bring you onboard.

Conclusion

No job will last forever.  But before you leave the one that you have, make sure that it is really a new job that you need.

If you quit your job, you don’t want to look back and feel that maybe you really shouldn’t have.

Remember to look for solutions to your discomfort before you decide that quitting is your only resolution.

Need a Quick Bad Job Solutions List? Take a Look at Our Favorites:

S2: Create new enjoyable experiences with others at work

S3: Make a conscious effort to improve your work environment

S12: Give yourself the opportunity to replenish and see if with proper rest, self-care, and rebalancing you return to your normal energetic self.

The best thing that you can do for yourself is to take personal responsibility for the happiness you desire in your job. 

And, if even in your diligence you cannot find a resolution to the problems you face, then choose to prioritize your happiness and find a job that you love.

Looking for more inspiration for living your best Life on The Curve, then don’t forget to subscribe. And if this post helped you rethink your career direction, let us know in the Comments section below.

Wake Up Brand New By Creating a Sleep Ritual

Wake Up Brand New By Creating a Sleep Ritual

Do you have a sleep ritual?

If not, you may want to explore creating a sleep ritual and unlocking the power of rest and its impact on your life.

A sleep ritual blends the consistency and expectation of regimen together with the sanctity and reverence of ceremony. 

Sleep provides rejuvenation of the body and a clearing and clarity to the mind. This mental, physical and spiritual daily cleansing is vital to your wholeness and healthfulness.  

An optimal sleep ritual involves preparation, participation, and reflection of your process. 

The ultimate goal is restful and rejuvenating sleep that, when achieved on a regular basis, creates the foundation for a strong wakeful day ahead. 

Particularly through the preparation and reflection processes, the evaluation of the effectiveness of the ritual can be determined. If your sleep ritual is not effective then you have no true ritual to follow.

PREPARATION FOR YOUR SLEEP RITUAL

Before engaging in a sleep ritual, it is necessary to set the mood and intention of restful sleep.

Every person has different conditions that support their ability to fall asleep productively. 

And these conditions may change based on individual personality, the structure of the sleeping area, and even the bodily conditions of the person.

Evaluate your needs to create an environment conducive to restful sleep.

1. Preparing Your Body for Sleep

The body performs many different functions throughout your wakeful day.  For this reason, it is necessary to trigger the transition that signals sleep preparation has begun.

This could include taking a hot bath or shower.  You could also use warmed oils or lotions when preparing for bed.

The clothing that you wear should keep your body temperature comfortable for sleep.

If possible, you can receive a massage from your significant other. Or perform a massage on yourself to relax your muscles and release tensions.

You can perform a yoga practice specifically designed for the evening.  Alternatively, you can engage in a series of stretching exercises to loosen and relax the body.

Any or all of these steps can create an expectation that you have moved from an active body state to a still or calmed body state.  Conducting this regimen regularly will ritualize the process of relaxation before bed as preparation for sleep.

2. Sleep Environment Preparation

To ensure a restful, full night of sleep, you want to create a soothing and comfortable environment.  The steps to create this may change from one night to the next based on the exact place, time, and other occupants in your space.

Confirm that your room temperature is warm or cool enough for your personal comfort.

Address any ambient noises that are in your space.  If these sounds cannot be controlled, consider using earplugs or finding access to white noise to camouflage the unwanted.  

If you sleep with another person, attempt to coordinate in advance if you will sleep the same schedule as your mate.  The movement of another person in or out of your bed can cause interruption to your sleep continuity.

If this cannot be avoided, you may consider sleeping in an alternative space until you create a consistent sleep routine, particularly if you have had significant prior sleep concerns.

Lights, cellphones, a television, and other electronics can cause disruption or unwanted alertness.  Remove or turn off any items that signal wakefulness to your mind and body and engage only with those that will signal restfulness.

You may use a diffuser or a candle warmer to engage in aromatherapy as a means to trigger relaxation. Scents such as lavender, chamomile, sandalwood, or cedarwood can well complement a soothing atmosphere.

Your sleep ritual can be heavily influenced by your environment but when mastered your environment preparation can be the ideal catalyst for deep sleep.

3. Nighttime Activity Before Sleep

Your sleep ritual is focused on relaxation of your mind and body but does not only include relaxing activity.

In order to settle an overactive body and mind, it can be helpful to engage in activities that signal a wind-down towards relaxation.

If you initiate the activity several hours before sleep, you can engage in a rigorous exercise routine.  While this may stimulate alertness soon after completion, over time your body will look to replenish and recover and can then create strong signals for rest.

A less intensive activity is home cleaning and organization

To ensure that you feel mentally settled, you may want to engage in 30 to 60 minutes of house cleaning.  Removal of clutter and setting organization can be a form of mental calming and anxiety reduction.

An even lighter activity that can stimulate a pre-rest status is to read a book or to engage in watching television.  While either can engage your attention, the key is to choose lightly stimulating content. 

Feel-good storylines, laughter, hopeful and positive plots can improve mood and serve as an easy transition point towards relaxation.

4. Evaluate Your Mental Status Before Sleep

Creating the mental space for sleep is as important as all the other elements.

The pressures of the day can build anxiety, stress, racing thoughts, and hyperactivity.

These high-intensity mental states can be counterproductive to sleeping or achieving levels of deep sleep.

Taking steps to slow the mind and settle the flow of thoughts that you generate can lay the groundwork for sleep readiness.

Journaling can serve to relieve the mind of any burdensome thoughts.  It can also be used to focus on the good within your day, elevating your spirits, and setting a tone of gratitude.

Listening to soft music or actively using binaural beats can help to ready and stimulate sleep. This form of sound healing can work in partnership with your relaxation practices and set expectation for your mind to rest.

There are also many forms of meditation that can serve to ready the mind and body for sleep.  If experienced with a meditation practice you may simply sit in silence for 10 or 15 minutes using your breath as your focal point. 

Alternatively, guided meditation can walk you through a path toward internal downshifting and thought cleansing, calming active thought, and introducing mental silence.

This shift towards mental cleansing and intentional positive experience can melt your stresses and signal transition toward relaxation and sleep preparedness.

INITIATION OF YOUR SLEEP RITUAL

Committing to your sleep ritual marks your promise to honor, elevate, and revere the importance of sleep toward your total well-being.

Now that you have considered all elements of your sleep ritual preparedness, you can plan to initiate your sleep ritual.

1. Plan Your Sleep Ritual in Advance

Examining all the details collected from your preparation steps, incorporate those most meaningful to you into your sleep ritual.

Especially when creating a new sleep ritual, take time to put all the important steps to your ritual in writing.  Use a special notebook, writing paper, or even scroll to capture your process.

You can note your ideal room temperature.  Gather your ceremonial bedtime clothing.  You may even have a set towel to use after bathing or certain bed linen to commemorate the initiation of your sleep ritual practice.

Structure your process so that you build consistency

Make all steps achievable and repeatable. 

Do not feel that you must try everything. 

And certainly, do not cause yourself stress when establishing your process.

When you have all steps outlined, silently set the intention of regular restful sleep

You can even light a candle or close your eyes and take a healing breath to signify your commitment to your intention.

2. Undergo Your Sleep Ritual as Sacred Ceremony

Follow your sleep ritual with reverence and loyalty to each step.

Elevating the importance of your sleep ritual is an indication of self-care and self-love by way of honoring your sleep.

As you step through one action to the next, be mindful that all actions you are taking are in support of your sleep and self-preservation.

Take time to ensure that you have the proper materials for each action or, if not, pause to gather them.  There is no need to rush as the goal is to slow and come to rest.

Be flexible as you are developing this ritual as all things may not be perfectly smooth from the beginning.  Be watchful for any necessary adjustments to make the process easy flowing.

Eliminate any actions that seem laborsome.  Add any new actions that enhance your process.

But once your action item list is finalized, stay true to following your process each night and, if at all possible, at the same time.

Your sleep ritual should become habit-forming and be as if a recipe for your most restful sleep.

Be open to communicating to others your sleep ritual, especially those you may live with.  It is not necessary to share all parts in detail. 

But be sure to establish to others the sanctity and necessity of your process towards sleep. Part of your sleep ritual reverence is to ensure that others have reverence to not disturb your process.

REFLECTION OF YOUR SLEEP RITUAL

Evaluating the effectiveness of your sleep ritual gives the opportunity to optimize what works well and the flexibility to change what doesn’t. All actions to achieve the goal of optimal rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation by design.

This is the opportunity to review your process for the ultimate goal of quality sleep.

If you can achieve your sleep goal, you have provided yourself with a means to bring together mind, body, and spirit and elevate your total state of consciousness.

Be free to accentuate the most meaningful parts of your ritual.

If you enjoy your meditation, be open to lengthening the process or trial other meditative options. 

You may create a playlist of rest-ready music or utilize different stretching techniques to relax your body. 

Be mindful throughout the process.  Stay consistent in the core steps of your practice

Honor your ritual daily regardless of the day of the week or outside circumstances.

Take the opportunity to reflect upon your work in creating this ritual of health and to acknowledge your care for yourself.

If you have not been successful in creating a smooth sleep ritual or you cannot consistently commit to your practice, examine why.

Eliminate blockers with compassion for yourself and the process.  Examine ways for improvement and be open to eliminating even the most desired components that are not practical.

Explore ideas beyond those suggested above and make adjustments that best meet your rest intentions.

Above all learn what you can through the reflection process to customize your sleep ritual to be both effective and enjoyable to you.

Conclusion

A sleep ritual can be an enriching and rewarding process leading to the well-balancing of mind, body, and spirit through rest.

If you can well incorporate both the ceremony and consistency of your sleep ritual through preparation, participation, and reflection, you can reap the benefits of this sacred process.

Tailoring each component of your sleep ritual through careful self-observation and exploration can lend to the precision of its makeup.

Honoring your need for a consistent sleep ritual with yourself and with others can only lend to its effectiveness and the sustainability of your process.

A well-crafted sleep ritual will serve you by rejuvenating your mind, body, and spirit and preparing you to initiate your days in the most optimal state.

Do you have a trusted practice as part of your sleep ritual? Share it in the comments below to help others reach their rest and rejuvenation goals.

See these related posts to unlock the power of intentional practices in your life: