How to Feel Your Soul in Life, Even at Work

How to Feel Your Soul in Life, Even at Work

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel your soul as you live your life?  Is it possible to be soulfully connected every day? Do you even know what it feels like to ‘feel your soul’?

While language is key to clarifying your life experience with yourself and sharing it with others, some things are simply hard to explain. Soul is one of these complex concepts.  And yet, there still exists a thin veil of common understanding.

Where words alone may fail, the definition of soul becomes clearer when you give it life through emotional context. To feel your soul, to feel soulful, to feel soulfulness brings the idea of soul to life. It now becomes more than a word, but an experience. 

And why does any of this matter.  Some would say it doesn’t.  Life is just life.  But those who know the richness that comes with living with a soul connection, they would say it is the thing that matters most! 

When your life possesses soul it makes life worth living.  There is a powerful and substantial connection with purpose, experience, emotion, and synchronicity that transcends anything else.

The pursuit of life with soul is a pursuit that transcends happiness.  It is a complete alignment with you and all that is.  And you can experience these soulful moments at any point or part of your life, including at work.

The Definition of Soul

There are many definitions of soul.  And there are many reasons why this is. More than religion and dogma, the idea of the soul represents an intangible experience that cannot be singularly defined. It is intimate and personal and in many ways identified only by the person who has the experience.

For this reason, if asked, we each likely will give a different interpretation. However, despite this, there is a means to come together in like-mindedness on the experience.

Soul is defined by what we sense and feel.  It is the experience of being, doing, receiving, or emoting while at the same time ascending to different levels of euphoria. It could be said that soul is the expression of our spiritual connection with life. 

Transcending logic and practical understanding, when we sense our soul connection, we use our intuitive senses, our interconnectedness with energy; we describe a blissful, almost dream-like state.

Many would consider this a Divine power and one that each of us possesses if we choose to honor the connection.

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.

Democritus

What is the Difference Between Soul and Spirit?

The words spirit and soul are often used interchangeably.  And this could be because of their implied intangible nature and the idea that it involves a state that expands awareness beyond the five senses.

But for the purpose of this discussion, soul and spirit are not one in the same.  Spirit will act as that indescribable breath of life that exists so long as your body has breath.  It is also that which escapes your physical body thereby transitioning your existence from life to death.

Alternatively, soul is not the essence of life, but the transcended expression of life through the body.  Your spirit is life in all of its expression, the soul of you is your life in its highest expression only.  Soul could be called your God-like state of connection with all that is and your physical expression joyfully intertwined. 

In this distinction between spirit and soul, you have a spirit that resides within the body and the soul that is the expression of this connection through emotion.  

How Do You Know When You Feel Your Soul?

The journey of life is filled with opportunity to connect at a soul-level.  It is here where the process becomes personal and intimate.  Human beings can find their soul connection through similar channels:

Seeing the sunset

Breathing in fresh air on the beach

Witnessing a child’s birth

Connecting with the rhythm of music

But you can also find your soul connection with an experience that is all your own:

When meditating

In creating your own poetry

Sensing your muscle movement when running through the park

Being inspired while performing your work or craft

You define soul when you are in pure contentment, blissful and inspired movement, being in flow.  It is your interpretation of your life experience and your allowance of being present with your emotions that permits the opportunity for soulful exploration.  You get to decide if you feel it and you get to decide what experience brings soulfulness to you. 

Simply being open to the experience and willing or wanting it creates the opportunity. 

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.

NAPOLEON HILL

Does Everyone Experience a Soul Connection?

Just as much as it is possible to feel your soul, it is also possible to willfully deny this soul connection.

To be closed to the possibility of feeling heightened levels of joy in life closes the door to feeling your soul.  Feeling your soul is not meant to be akin to a drug-induced state or a sensation that is forced upon your consciousness.  Instead, it is a natural and unencumbered reaction to your engagement with life and your thoughts, actions, and emotions. 

You take in your world and as a result your world gives you joy.  Only you can say what part of the world brings out the soul of you. Until you find what sparks the soul connection for you, it may feel as if you are living in absence of your soul.

Everyday Feeling of Your Soul

There is a reason why there is soul food.  Or that you may say something touches your soul.  You can claim someone as your soulmate.  And feel a sense of belonging with others at the soul level.

It is the deep resonance with your internal knowing of self, the external stimulation of the world around, and a significant emotional connection that defines the feeling of soul.

The soul expression is a deeper and more vibrant emotion than all others.

Feeling Your Soul at Work

The experiences that can cause you to personally transcend and your soul to come alive can happen anywhere including work.

You can find your soul at work when you are being creative.  It can be sparked through artwork, design, new ideas, and bold innovation. You can discover your soul through other people, in meaningful and compassionate interactions, and even through share of your knowledge.

The soul can be ignited when you present, draw out emotions when connecting with others like excitement and motivation, or allow yourself to be the source of another’s inspiration. Your job can become a wonderful playground of different experiences that create a soulful exchange with others or soulful experiences for yourself.  

Be Intentional with Invoking Soulfulness at Work

Your job can permit you many opportunities for self-expression and for personal development, all of which are means to bring soulfulness to what you do.

The Job Search

Be cognizant of what calls to you as the right place for you.  What is the culture?  Does your department represent your tribe? Will you be side-by-side with like-minded people with a similar passion for your work?  Will you have the freedom to explore your passions at work?  Make it a priority to seek the space that helps you flourish and be at your best and watch your soul come alive!

The Work

Know your talents.  Feel connected with your skills.  You alone are the combination of personality, actions, ideas, and energy that makeup who you are and how you work.  Let every part of you express itself in what you do.  As you establish your rhythm and build your expertise, you can find yourself moving effortlessly and harmoniously with everything around you.  Your soul’s connection can be ignited through this seamless movement.

The Work Environment and Atmosphere

The energy that you surround yourself with is what you become.  Whether like-minded or not, do you share a good-natured temperament?  Is your work environment optimistic, planful, super-charged, or blissfully chill?  Do you find yourself with an internal sense of peace, contentment, calm, or synergy in your workspace?  Do you feel as if you are a member of a team, even feel almost like family?  When you feel that your seed has been planted in an environment that nurtures you every day as you provide your contribution to the whole, your soul’s expression may rise to the surface.

You don’t have to find your soul at work but there is nothing that limits you from finding it there. And when you search for it you will find a field of opportunity to spark your soul connection that you can enjoy while you work.

Should You Use ‘Soul’ Language at Work?

As stated, using the term soul can have a different meaning for different people.  The term is not wrong to use but it may be misinterpreted. 

That said, to know and then share your thoughts, desires, and needs with others is part of your authenticity.  When you can clarify to others where you thrive and what type of environment brings out your best, you are honoring your soul’s expression.  You are also offering the best of you to your employer which is what any employer would want to receive. 

Always remember the true intention of all communication is to share your thoughts with another person, not simply to talk at another person.  Using terms that are universally understood will likely make the conversation and the intended outcome that much easier. So use soul language if you find those who resonate with it; if not, then use other terms that will translate better.

Also remember that the journey to learn and connect with your soul’s expression is a personal one.  It does not have to be one that is shared.  You alone will identify what is most meaningful to you and only you can sense your emotions fully when you have the experience.

Be discerning and selective with who you choose to share your soul’s expression and experience.  Honor your soul by honoring yourself and preserving the most special parts of you in the quiet of your own mind.

Conclusion

The soul of you is the means by which you express the connection that exists between the parts of the world that stimulate you and your thoughts and emotions. There is no limitation to what can stimulate the feeling of synchronicity and joyfulness that comes from the soul.  And it can exist anywhere including in your work.

Be authentic and willing to express yourself genuinely and fully.  Take on new experiences or find new ways to enjoy past experiences with new eyes and renewed interest. 

Explore your work environment with the expectation that your soul can be ignited by what you find around you and in what you do. And feel comfort that your opportunity for soul connection is limitless at work and anywhere else your journey takes you.  

Do you know what makes your soul sing? Have you stumbled into a blissful moment? Do you have a soul connection with the work that you do? Share your story in the comments below and ignite the soul’s expression in someone else.

How to Commit to Your Commitments

How to Commit to Your Commitments

Some people live by keeping their commitments. Unfortunately, others suffer through them.

When breaking promises goes from an occasional mishap to a regular occurrence, it can create havoc in your life. Before you know it your integrity becomes questionable, your promises become meaningless, and your good intentions are forgotten.

What’s worse is that keeping commitments can be a real challenge for you. It may not be as simple as just starting to commit better. But instead, it may take more extensive time to understand your flaws and create new and better habits.

It’s worth it to dedicate time and attention to overcoming your commitment challenges, regardless of their persistence or origin. When you become a more committed person, you can feel as if you have more control over your life, create real change in your personal self image, and create a significant improvement in the image others have of you too.

Let’s look at how we can tackle your commitment issues and make changes in your life for the better.

Why Is Keeping Commitments So Hard?

The reasons are countless as to why you just are terrible with keeping promises or seem to lack the ability to keep up with commitments overall. Keeping commitments is hard when you don’t have the desire, ability, or motivation to do it.

Here are a few scenarios that quickly turn your intent to commitment into a dishonorable event:

  • Uncomfortable Commitments: What happens when you have options that are easier or feel better than the commitment that’s in front of you. Maybe you committed to getting up early and helping someone move. Staying in bed and sleeping longer is much more attractive and easier option than doing any of that. When you commit to things that you really don’t want to do, you essentially are forcing your body to move through what your mind does not accept.

  • Unrealistic Commitments: There can also be times when you make a commitment that you simply shouldn’t have. You may have over-extended yourself or misjudged your capability or availability. Therefore the structure of your commitment was faulty from the beginning. Why promise to arrive at a certain time when you rely on a completely different person for your transportation! It could work out but then again, it didn’t.

  • Unnecessary Commitments: There is also the occasion when you commit as a courtesy. Even when you don’t want to do it, your compassion for the other person persuades you to say you will. The issue here can be that your emotion is short-lived. And when faced with taking action, your momentum has already died off. You may still have love and compassion for the person you made the promise to (Mom). But that emotion does not transition into fuel to do the task or motivation to keep the promise.

Desire, motivation, availability of time or energy, and even a lapse in memory can all contribute to broken promises and failed commitments. And with all these obstacles on the trail, it can simply be hard to keep up.

How Can You Make the Commitment Process Easier

A good place to start in becoming better with commitments is to be better in evaluating if you should even commit.

  • Be honest about whether or not you want to commit
  • Evaluate well if it is realistic for you to commit
  • Lean on more than your motivation as a means to ensure that you commit to the end

Arm yourself with the best scenario before you take on resonsibility you just are not ready to take on. Gain comfort in establishing boundaries and you will save headache for yourself and for the person that you commit to. No is not always the best answer, but it can be a better answer than a broken promise in the end.

Benefits of Keeping Your Commitments

If you plan on saying yes to requests or simply have to, such as at work, you may need to evaluate your long-term strategy of being stronger in fulfilling your commitments. Knowing the benefits of committed behavior can serve to reinforce your efforts when you may not always be mentally in the game:

  • When you make a commitment and see it through, you may gain more self-respect and self-confidence.
  • Honoring what you commit yourself to do can form of self care, self love, and self respect to you! Remember, not all promises are to others. You also can make and break promises with yourself.
  • You can positively impact your feeling of confidence to try new things, take on challenges, or make decisions without the co-sign of another person. You know that you can rely on yourself to be diligent, try harder, study more, or put in the commitment toward your goals.
  • And keeping commitments will impact the feeling of safety and security others have with you. Others will trust you to honor your word, be present when needed, or feel more respected and cared for.

Committing to tasks, requests, and obligations is not easy and even harder to do with regular consistency. But the benefits are immeasurable when you learn to appreciate the personal and interpersonal benefits of changing your habits and keeping commitments.

How do you take the next steps to have long-term improvement in your commitment capabilities?

Examining If You Are Ready to Be More Committed

As with any habit or behavior change, to become more committed you first need to acknowledge your obstacles.

  • Are you disorganized?
  • Do you make too many commitments?
  • Are you easily distracted or have trouble saying no?

It is important to be honest with yourself in order to find the root of your problem.

From here, you can develop a plan on how to improve.

Examining who you are as a person and how you manage your life can help you gain an understanding of how you keep on top of your usual daily tasks.

  • Identify your problem-solving skills. If you are strong in resolving problems, you can feel safe to commit to being that “fix-it” person for someone. However, if you do not do this well for yourself, then you may want to offer ideas but not commit to a resolution.
  • Embrace yourself as an independent or team player. If you are asked to take on a task on your own but you typically excel through the support of others, try not to commit out of your comfort zone. Not only will it not create the optimal environment for your success, but you may also just feel unmotivated because you are not in your ideal conditions.
  • Break your habit of half-listening or filling in someone else’s blanks. You may be perfect for the job if you knew fully what the job is. But if you don’t know, don’t commit yourself to a theory. If you have the habit of cutting people off and then saying “I can do it” without hearing the whole plan, it may be worthwhile to practice patience and listening before commitment.

Really take time to examine who you are, what habits you have today, and how they may be impacting your commitment consistency. These details make a difference. And can potentially quicken your success to become a more well-equipped, reliable, committed person.

How to Improve Your Commitment Skills

No matter where you are on your readiness scale, there are some tips that you can put into place today to help you be more committed and conquer keeping your promises more frequently.

  • Set smaller goals rather than making grandiose plans that are difficult to keep up with

  • Review your intended commitment, with yourself or the other person, to determine exactly how you will get the task accomplished before making a promise to get it done

  • Visualize the successful outcome of keeping your commitment. Actually seeing the end in your line of sight can create better focus of your intended target.

  • Talk about your commitment out loud to assist with memory recall of what’s on your to-do list

  • Find an accountability partner who will help you stay on track

  • Write down all significant details of your commitment in a prominent place including the deadline

  • Set reminders in your electronic calendar

Your commitments are simply goals that you intend to accomplish on time and in full. Therefore treat them like goals and create a plan of success to support your best form of achievement.

A Bonus Tip on Using Planning to Improve Commitment

If you find that you often start projects with the best of intentions but then fail to follow through, planning may be your core commitment issue. It’s not your failure to be honest in your commitments, it’s that you cannot back up your good intentions with strong delivery through planning.

Using a planner can be an excellent way to record all of your intended tasks, keep them organized, and serve as a reminder when your day gets busy. This can help you see at a glance what needs to be done, when, and for who. It can also help to keep your non-negotiable commitments in one place so that you can easily refer to them.

Using a planner on a regular basis, reviewing it at regular intervals, and checking off your tasks when completed can create significant order in your life. For those that suffer from meeting commitments due to disorganization or frequent memory lapses, using a planner can be a game-changer!

Related Post: 6 Methods of How to Use a Planner Effectively Before You Give Up on Planning Completely

Transitioning Into a Committed Person

If you have been pretty poor at keeping commitments for some time, it is likely that you not only have a poor image of yourself around commitment but others do too.

It is important not to lose your momentum for improvement because of your past. And even more important is that you don’t let negative self-talk or others’ comments take you away from your goal.

Keep focused on your end-game and reflect on any positive changes that you make in keeping commitments along the way, big or small.

If you feel that your past broken commitments have caused tension with others that you care about in your life, let them know that you are actively working on improvement.

Listen to any suggestions that others may have for you on your new commitment journey. And don’t shy away from taking responsibility for your past actions so as to work actively on rebuilding trust.

No one is perfect in all aspects of their life, but take heed that working on improving yourself and improving your relationship with others is worthwhile and commendable.

Conclusion

Keeping commitments is an important way of showing up for yourself and others. By committing to your commitments fully you demonstrate integrity to others and build self-confidence within yourself.

Being honest about what you are capable of doing and understanding how you manage your personal life obligations can support you in your endeavors to become a better-committed person overall.

Start small, be consistent, and share your intentions and your wins with others. Building the habit of commitment may take diligence but the wins are worth the effort.

What are your thoughts? Have you come up with ideas to improve how you commit to your commitments since reading this blog post? Let me know in the Comments below!

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How to Claim and Keep Your Built-In Best Friend

How to Claim and Keep Your Built-In Best Friend

Not everyone has to go on a pilgrimage to find their best friend. Some situations and circumstances create the opportunity built-in.

Built-in best friends have the good fortune to know that they already share a basis for potential true friendship. They already share space, an interest, or even family members to start.

However, it is up to them to cultivate this potential into a reality.

Yes, even right now you may have a potential built-in best friend right in front of you. 

Recognize your built-in best friend in your life. See why their relationship is important for you. And learn how to nurture your connection.

Growing friendships is an important aspect of your overall social and mental well-being.

Acknowledging your built-in best friends cannot only demonstrate to you the richness of connection that you already have. 

It can also give opportunity to further expand on the great relationship you already know.

What Makes Your Best Friend Built-In?

A built-in best friend is a special edition best friend friendship.  The relationship may be somewhat similar to other best friend scenarios.

But what makes it just a little different is that you are already bound to this individual for another separate reason.

Fate brought you together to be in close proximity, spend extensive time, or otherwise be connected for things that did not require a close friendship. 

However, it inadvertently created a fertile ground for friendship just the same.

This built-in connection can be a close family member like a brother or sister, a favorite cousin, or even your mom or dad. 

It can also be a teammate, a co-worker, a mentor, or your boss. 

These relationships have been established because of other life circumstances. 

You already have a basis to connect with this person more than others in the world.

But this connection did not necessitate that you would become more.  Again, it simply served as your fertile ground of opportunity.

Friendships grow from much more than proximity, however.  You become friends because of:

  • Shared trust
  • Mutual respect
  • Love, compassion, and care
  • Supporting and encouraging each other
  • Listening and being attentive to each other, and
  • Finding more and more opportunities to connect in unique and special ways

All of these attributes and more create friendship bonds. 

Now add your close proximity AND that you share these connections with no one else in the same way.

This is how built-in best friends are formed.

How Do I Know If I Am My Best Friend’s Best Friend?

In any close friend relationship, it is not always necessary to put names, titles, or other labels around it.

 You can simply enjoy the closeness for what it is.

However, like any other title of honor, it can feel special to know that your best friend will name you in this way.

If you haven’t heard the words, check for other indications that your feelings for each other are mutual:

  • Do you talk regularly about highly private or sensitive subjects?
  • Are you the first one called for special events or accomplishments?
  • Is it automatically assumed that if one of you shows up for an event the other one is likely there too?
  • Do other people refer to you both as best friends?

While this list is not exhaustive, they are each good indicators that your relationship is pretty strong.

It is uncommon that a person will share all of these actions with more than one person.

But Am I “THE” Best Friend?

There may be a small part of you that wonders if you are the one and only best friend.

No matter your age or your background, there is something about that number one spot that makes anyone feel extra special.

The reality is that it is very possible for a person to have more than one uniquely close relationship. 

Many married couples will call their spouse their best friend and still have another best friend in their life as well.  (There has to be someone to complain about their spouse to!)

That said, being the one and only may not happen.  But it doesn’t mean that your relationship is not valuable or needed.

Take queues from what you see as the strengths in your relationship.  And if you still have doubts, muster up the courage and just ask.

You may find that by putting your feelings on the table openly you reach yet another level of bonding with your best friend.

How to Nurture Your Built-In-Best-Friend Friendship

Anything that you want to keep alive needs nurturing and care.  A best friend friendship is no different than anything else.

Built-in-best-friend friendships can sometimes be neglected because they appear to come into your life easily and seamlessly.  

You already live with your best friend, for example, so why would you need to schedule any additional time to spend with them.

Or you already work together, so why would you need to talk to them about work goals or stresses when you’re at home too.

While your relationship may be strong, it is never a bad idea to continue to nurture your relationship to ensure it stays strong.

  • Be attentive to your best friend and their needs beyond just the ones you usually talk about

  • Schedule time outside of your automatic habitat and explore how your friendship functions in different environments

  • Be willing to support their healthy relationships with other people in their lives and be a trusted confidant when other relationships struggle or break.

  • Most of all, be loving, caring, compassionate, thoughtful, and present as any good friend would be

You are best friends for a reason. 

You already share a unique closeness and resonance with each other and unparalleled with other people in each other’s lives. 

But don’t rest on it being automatic that you will maintain that level of closeness as you both evolve on your separate life journeys. 

Be mindful to nurture your relationship so that you can continue to ensure its closeness for a long time to come.

How to Mend a Broken Built-In-Best-Friend Friendship

Built-in-best-friend friendships are a little different than your average friendship. 

You are tied in with this person beyond your friendship alone.

Siblings may still live together at their parents’ house.  Boss and co-workers have to see each other every business day no matter what. 

You can imagine that a friendship gone bad can have damaging effects, both on the couple and others in their environment. 

No one wants a war where you have to pick sides between one sister or another.  And you certainly don’t want a broken-hearted boss doing your annual review!

While there are many who would suggest choosing your friends wisely to avoid these cumbersome backlashes to friendship, avoiding these relationships altogether is not always the answer.

Best friends fight.  That is just a fact.

And who else can hurt you more than someone you truly love.

When going through tough times, it is important to remember that not only the two of you but others can be affected.  To minimize the collateral damage, try to deploy a little diplomacy:

  • Try not to share your ugly details with others who share space in your same environment, such as at home, at work, amongst team members, etc.
  • Remember that all emotions including anger, disappointment, or betrayal are fleeting.  Try not to say or do anything that will be regretted once the emotions pass, such as quitting a job or breaking a lease.
  • Be understanding that others may also have care and love for your friend so do not try to create a smear campaign
  • If you do share the dirty details with others and they sympathize with you significantly, remember that others may not get over what your best friend did to you.  So, when your friendship is rekindled, they may still harbor ill feelings for your best friend and it may tarnish everyone’s shared environment

Aside from being considerate of those who share a similar environment with you and your best friend, it is ultimately important to focus on the friendship.

In any broken relationship, it is important to consider the bigger picture and not just the immediate incident.

You have a unique and special bond with your best friend.  Is it worth throwing away all that you have become together for the problem in front of you now?

Speak to each other with love.  Be open-minded and willing to listen.  Acknowledge if you need space or silence to heal. 

And above all things, try to work through to a resolution based on the best of your relationship and not the worst.

This is a friendship meant to be built-in.  There is nothing gained in tearing down the house you live in.  

Conclusion

A built-in best friend is one where you have been given a unique opportunity to create closeness with someone already in your world. 

It didn’t have to happen.  But you and your best friend became open, shared deeply, and from this grew a love and a special bond.

And all of this was fortunate to have happened in a shared environment or circumstance. This permitted you to spend more time, share more experiences, and to take your relationship further faster.

Nurturing your friendship, even outside of the ready-made environment that you share, can help your relationship deepen and grow.  Be conscious that the ups and downs of your relationship can have impact on you and others in your environment too. 

Remember even built-in best friends go through the occasional tough time.  But no small dispute is worth diminishing the bond you have that should be treasured. 

You are family, co-workers, teammates, or parent and child.  Whatever the relationship, you are more than just best friends and that will forever make your relationship uniquely different and special.

Life brought you together so that you both could benefit from knowing each other.  So mend any broken fences quickly, treasure all your special moments, and remember always that you have a unique and loving friendship….specially built-in.  

Do you have the special gift of a built-in best friend? If so, share this post with them and laugh over how much this sounds like you two together! Or post on your feed and see how many other built-in best friend twins are out there beside you and yours.

Are you looking for ways to enhance other relationships in your life? The most important relationship to nurture first is your relationship with yourself. Check out The Perfect Self-Love Tips to Change Your Life or 7 Ways to Create Balance in Your Imbalanced Life and explore ways to love yourself more.

Both you and those you love will blossom as you grow to become more.

People Pleaser Healing: How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

People Pleaser Healing: How to Stop Hurting Yourself When Helping Others

Are you a phenomenal helper that also suffers from being a burned-out people pleaser? It can be a difficult balance, especially when your heart is in the healing of others.

When you possess a natural helping spirit, you give to others in the most supportive way as part of who you are.  And your intent is always to be of true and genuine help. But, unfortunately, the best intentions can land differently than expected.  And you not only can connect poorly with another but also give so much that you hurt yourself.

Examine who you are as a helper.  Acknowledge both your gifts and your challenges.  Recognize if you are helping or reaching further into people pleasing. Knowing the difference is key and can be important to building healthy relationships with others and toward yourself.

Master your balance and become an even better helper to yourself and everyone else in the process.

Why Helping Others Is Your Calling

Not everyone has a helping spirit.  Even the nicest individuals may be focused on other deeds than helping others.  Or, more often, nice people do not realize how much they support others and do not call themselves “helpers”.

You may be a person who receives genuine joy by being intentional when helping and supporting.  Providing a helping hand to a person, an animal, or the environment when needed sparks an indescribable joy and energy that lights you up.

It does not matter if you get a thank you or if anyone knows that you helped at all.  You know and that is all that matters.  Your knowing is enough to gain new energy and that feel-good feeling of being of service.

Charitable givers, volunteers, mentors, teachers, donators….the list of titles is lengthy and so are all the good works that come from those that help.  You are called to perform these actions because you feel a sense of purpose in sharing your gifts with others. 

The calling, or knowing, is that you are supposed to provide what you have to others in order to positively impact another’s well-being. And your calling is confirmed in the positivity you gain in the process.  Helping others is an absolute and unquestioned mission for you.  

What Helping Excellence Looks Like

Whether you are in a helping profession or you are simply a helpful person, you innately strive for excellence in your brand of giving. Helping excellence takes many forms but starts with the unique ability to combine being introspective, extrospective, and compassionately empathetic. 

  • When you are introspective you not only know yourself but acknowledge your skills, abilities, or assets of value.  You honor yourself by knowing that you have worth and your gifts are valuable to share.
  • To be extrospective is to demonstrate that you are attentive to absorbing the world around you.  You pay attention to your surroundings and even look beyond your immediate view to understand the context of life and your place in it.
  • But the key that binds is your compassionate empathy.  This is where all your gifts truly synchronize. You see your gifts of worth, interpret the needs outside of yourself, and extend yourself to give selflessly to bridge the gaps.  You understand the pain and discomfort of something or someone else, see how you can be a solution, and are compelled to make yourself available as a resource.

This remarkable talent and example of character and humanity are what set helpers apart from all others.  It is a form of excellence that gives true purpose to your body, mind, and spirit.  

What Causes People Pleasing?

Sharing your talents with heartfelt compassion can be a beautiful experience for both the giver and the receiver. However, there are times that while a helper can give with the best of intentions, it is not a healthy exchange.

The reality is that helping feels good but when an attempt to help fails, it can feel horrible.

  • You may have created the perfect solution, but you were impatient to capture all details so you missed the true mark.
  • It is possible that the receiver of your kind acts was not in the heart space to receive your assistance well.  And instead took your act of kindness as an act of pity or condescending behavior.
  • You could have had the best and most thoughtful plan but may have had unintended bad timing.

And while mistakes happen as a normal part of life when helping fails it can make you feel disconnected and unsure of your ability to give well.

In the heart and mind of the committed helper, leaving another with a poor experience creates a restlessness that needs repair. It is in this dissatisfaction with self that the unhealthy people pleasing tendency can rise.

How to Identify Unhealthy People Pleasing

People pleasing can appear very similar to being a helper but can take a more negative, unhealthy turn if you are not self-aware.

The nature of unhealthy people-pleasing is that you take specific actions to ensure the result of making another person happy.  It can become toxic when you will take action regardless of the negative impact on you.

Some people develop this pattern at a very young age, attempting to please overly strict or aggressive parents or other influencers.  Others develop this behavior as a result of their work or school environments as a means to ensure positive achievement or acknowledgment.

But often failed helpers will turn into unhealthy people pleasers.  Particularly if a helper has inadvertently experienced a significant instance or pattern of failed attempts to help.

Having experienced a negative or even angry response to their extended help, a helper may overextend looking for ways to fix the failure or make the person happy. What is worse is that it is hard for an innate helper to see the difference between helping with genuine positive intent or helping for personal gain.

Helpers can hurt themselves when desperately trying to calm their own people pleasing anxiety due to displeasing someone else.  They can also become overly focused on being seen or treated in a positive way in response to their giving.

This unhealthy and imbalanced excessive preoccupation with giving can be detrimental to your mental health, financial stability, or your physical well-being. When helping hurts then somewhere the helping excellence equation has been thrown off balance.

What to Do When Helping Hurts

Correcting your behavior and healing from obsessive people pleasing is possible.  Depending on the length of time this pattern has gone unchecked, it can take time. All helpers should develop the habit of being good givers to themselves.

Evaluate whether or not you are in a healthy giving status or not:

  • Can you honestly say that your act of giving still feels good to you?
  • Are you genuinely still a happy giver?
  • Do you feel energized or mentally or physically depleted when helping others?
  • Are you forcing your help on others even when you are told repeatedly no?
  • Do you often deplete yourself, your energy, your money, or other resources to help or please another?
  • Have you developed an addictive pattern of receiving positive feedback and gratitude from others?

Perform an honest self-assessment of whether or not helping is still healthy and good for you. And if you determine it is not, or you hear regularly from people who care about you that you are doing too much, take time to make self care a critical priority.

Self Care as People Pleasing Recovery

The habit of giving turned into a giving compulsion can have significant detrimental effects on you. Dedicate time to the practice of self-care.  Know and embody the understanding that only when your tank is full can you give to others at your best.

If being an expert helper is your goal, then respect that only a healthy helper can excel at helping.  Also, to give when you are not at your best degrades the quality of what you give. A helper wants to give to another the best that they have to offer always.

Simple self care ideas can include:

  • Allow an opportunity to help pass you by. There will never be a lack of need to be fulfilled. Permit yourself to evaluate your capability to give well and healthfully before volunteering to support
  • Practice healthy boundaries. Helpers that help often become relied upon for support. While this can be an honor it can also be a burden. Develop a pattern of declining requests and saying no. And try not to fill in the space by committing yourself to a future event, but simply saying not for what was asked at this time.
  • Reduce your commitment. Even with the best intentions you may have bitten off more than you can chew. Be honest about your limitations, apologize, and then release yourself. You are a much better helper when you give what you can healthfully.
  • Rest and replenish. Sleep, eat, drink water, take a break. Giving is not a marathon or a sprint. Helping is not a contest to be won. You are at your best when you provide your body, mind, and soul the replenishment it needs to function at your healthiest. Take steps to ensure that you are not unintentionally breaking the vessel you have be provide as your vehicle to help and heal others.

While it may seem counter-intuitive and hard to retrain, giving to yourself first makes your helping stronger and more effective.  

Great Helpers Accept Help

Another means to support your helping health is to lean on others.

Having people that you love and trust tell you when you may be going too far is important.  In the midst of your helping frenzy, you may lose yourself in the process.  An accountability partner can assist in providing you with another point of view regarding your personal well-being status.

Seasoned helpers can have a never-ending list of ideas on how to help.  It is also essential to seize the opportunity to let others be expert doers when you may be a visionary expert.

You do not have to have the vision and make it happen all by yourself. Permitting others to be a part of the process is another form of giving.  Through your vision and inspiring energy, you create opportunities for others to participate in the helping process.

Reframe what other forms of helping can be.

Because you know how to give you provide an excellent opportunity to teach others and to create more helping hands for the future.

Related Article:  How to Energize and Maximize Your Giving Spirit

Keeping Your Passion for Helping

If you are a natural helper but suffering from chronic people pleasing or helper’s burnout you may find yourself in the strange place of needing a charge to your helping spirit. You may also be trying to balance your self-care with your care for others for the first time and feel confused in the process.

Be reminded and use as motivation that your unique gifts serve the world in a special way and continue to be needed. Giving to yourself puts you in the best position to serve.

Give yourself permission to experience all the benefits that your helping gift provides to others and yourself:

  • Reflect on positive past experiences where you well-demonstrated your gift of helping.  See the smiles and gratitude in others and remember your own feelings of gratification.

  • Save any memories of gratitude you may receive such as cards, gifts, or smiling photos, and review them as part of your self-care regimen.  Congratulate yourself for all the help you have extended to others.

  • Affirm to yourself how you have grown to be an excellent helper and all the ways that you have helped others.  You are not the same person you were when you helped for the first time. Your helping gifts are likely overflowing when you truly reflect on all of them.

  • Have close friends and confidants to confide in when you feel unsure and let others remind you of your beautiful spirit.  Don’t worry. They won’t think you are being prideful.  The best partners know when you need a boost and will be more than happy to remind you how truly wonderful you are.  And you deserve to hear it, especially when you need it.

  • Take a moment just to be gratefulBe thankful for your helping gifts and talents and all the experiences that they have provided you.  You have been given an exceptional way to live your life and not everyone can experience what helping has given to you.

  • Recognize that you are enough. While you are excellent in all that you do for others, it is not the only thing that defines you. You do not have to do a single other thing in order to be considered a good and loving person. You do not have to prove what you are, you just are. Accept that your spirit goes far beyond your actions and relax into knowing that you are enough no matter what.

Conclusion

If you are a natural helper then you should know that you possess a unique gift of giving to others.  That gift is worth special care and attention as it serves an important need in the world.  No matter how big or small your contribution, your help can be critical to another.

Know how to give to yourself so that you are in the best mental, physical, and spiritual health to help.  And recognize the signs of unhealthy or compulsive people pleasing. Remember that knowing when you need to receive help is just as important as the help you give.

Balancing your view of yourself, all that surrounds you, and the empathetic compassion that you extend to others can be challenging at times.  But when you master this synchronicity, you can heal from excessive people pleasing and excel in living your purpose, helping others to the best of your ability.

Can you relate to this post? Are you on the path to becoming a healthier and happier helper? Share your progress in the Comments below.

Maybe you know someone else who could use these reminders to support their helping spirit. If so, please share!

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How to Use Journal Prompts for Self Worth

How to Use Journal Prompts for Self Worth

Journal prompts are one of many ways to expand your journaling practice. When looking to delve into areas of self improvement, such as increasing your self worth, the right journal prompts for you can assist with enhancing your self awareness and appreciation.

Self worth can sometimes be diminished when we do not take the time to acknowledge our gifts, appreciate our individuality, or accentuate our contributions to ourselves and others. Additionally, when we do not receive positive reflection or validation of our attributes from others, we may internalize this criticism or neglect.

Journal prompts can allow you to ask questions you may not think to ask or in the past have avoided and permit you to reflect or validate positive knowing in a detailed manner. Even if the past circumstances are deemed unfavorable, you can use them to assess your preferences, what you may do differently in the future, or determine what you can learn.

Using journal prompts for self worth as a part of your journaling practice can help to build or sustain your self worth and lead to a more well-balanced and confident state of mind.

What is Self Worth?

Self worth is your belief or confidence in yourself. Your sense of self that says that who and what you are matters and is important to you and is of significance to those that you love. Self worth also is a general sense that your life is of importance and has purpose.

Each of these proponents has impact on your self perception, as what you think and feel about yourself impacts how you present yourself in your daily life. If you have a positive self worth, you may carry yourself with confidence, be willing to express your opinions or preferences openly and have comfort to see yourself and your actions optimistically.

If you lack self worth, you may suffer with doubt and discomfort in your daily life. You may lack confidence, question your judgment, and credit others’ opinions before your own. You may also find it more difficult to recover from negative interactions with others or even internalize the criticism or comments from others as true because you have no independent positive image.

How Does Journaling Support Your Self-Worth?

Journaling is a form of self expression where you share thoughts through words and written description. This is an intentional practice as you not only have opportunity to reflect, consider, and develop opinions about your life. But you also are able to explore putting your thoughts, actions, and emotions into writing.

This translation of your thoughts to written expression and your subsequent recordkeeping of this information creates a form of reinforcement of the sentiments captured. You may be more likely to remember your thoughts as result. Or you may also be able to explore events and evaluations in a more explicit way than thoughts alone.

If you choose, you may use the journaling process to express how you feel about yourself and others when reviewing past circumstances. You can play out what could have happened or your preferences. And you can express without outside input, opinion, or ridicule what you think about it all.

With regular journaling and focus, particularly on your self worth, you can intentionally reflect more and more positive aspects of yourself to yourself. With consistent focus, you can begin to shift your thinking , provide evidence of your positive attributes, and find yourself more often becoming aware of the positive parts of you.

20 Journal Prompts for Self Worth

    1. What is the best compliment you have given yourself or received from someone else?
    2. What is important to you in life?
    3. Without overthinking it, what is your opinion of yourself?
    4. What is your biggest accomplishment and how did you achieve it?
    5. What are the best attributes of your closest friends?  Which of these attributes do you share?
    6. Who do you admire the most and why? Do you have similar characteristics?
    7. What do you do that makes you most proud?
    8. What is an example of you at your best?
    9. If you could be, do, or have anything in world, what is top on your wish list? Why?
    10. Do you take time to care for yourself? If you don’t and you had no limitations, how would you take care of yourself?

    1. In what ways are you exceptional?  In which ways do you want to be exceptional?
    2. When you love and/or respect someone else, how do you show it?
    3. The last time you took care of someone you cared about, what did you do and how did you feel about it?
    4. If you took yourself out on a date, what would you do?
    5. What do you aspire to be?  Do you believe you are capable? Why or why not?
    6. What positive statement do you say to yourself often? If you made a new statement, what would it be?
    7. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of your strengths?
    8. When is an example of when you were truly kind?
    9. What is it like to be your friend?
    10. What is your definition of self worth? How can you live this definition?

    Conclusion

    Self worth journal prompts can help you to examine your values, opinions, and image of yourself. And you can do this independently without outside opinion or judgment.

    Regular journaling provides an opportunity to build evidence of the positive attributes you display every day and to critically consider if you have areas in life that you would like to improve. You can build an appreciation of who you are, what you do, and how you act towards yourself and others in time.

    When you think about, consider, and reflect to yourself regularly your positive attributes, you can steadily build your confidence in the positive qualities that you possess. As a result you cannot only improve your self image but rely upon your personal opinion above others when validating your image to yourself.

    Using journal prompts specifically for self worth can be useful to improve your state of mind and personal well-being, if used regularly and with positive intent.

    Related Articles: 

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    Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

    Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

    Home organization can seem perfect in theory, but be a tedious chore in reality.  Using home organization affirmations as part of your decluttering and cleaning process can be a big part of keeping the right focus.

    All too often you lose the momentum of cleaning your home even before you start.  When you look around your home at what seems like an endless sea of mini-projects, papers, and random paraphernalia, it is daunting.  And when nothing has a home in your home, you can feel like everything has taken over your house.

    This may be the perfect motivation to have a beautiful home.  But it may not necessarily be the motivation to organize your way there.

    When you don’t feel like cleaning or organizing, before you push through and do it anyway, pause and get mentally prepared. Don’t let your mental energy be yet another hurdle to jump.  Instead, let your mind align with your goal to get your to-do list done.  And feel good all the way through your organization journey.

    Use these 10 Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing to get you from overwhelmed to overjoyed in your living space.

    JUMP TO HOME ORGANIZATION AFFIRMATIONS

    First, Why Do You Need Affirmations?

    cleaning and organizing affirmations

    Affirmations are an excellent way to focus and build intention with your thoughts.  So often the mind will run from topic to topic seemingly without pause.  And scattered between subjects there can be a number of negative and demotivating thoughts.

    Allowing the negative thoughts to run without borders can cause your energy to run away with it.  And when you are looking to build your inspiration for action, you find that you are already mentally drained.

    Affirmations can replace a negative train of thought and energize your mind with positive momentum. With the right words in mind, you can find yourself hopeful, inspired, optimistic, and generally in a good mood. This revitalized mental status can be the perfect frame of mind to make your vision and your actions come to life.

    Why Are Home Organization Affirmations Useful?

    house cleaning affirmations

    Affirmations for home organization can infuse power thoughts and actions into an otherwise mentally draining project. 

    Declutter, cleaning, and organizing can result in a ton of thinking and overthinking. What do you want to do with this? How do you create a home for that?  Will we need this one day?

    To organize well you are:

    1. being intentional and thoughtful about your needs
    2. creating the flow of your home, and
    3. making long-lasting changes for order and harmony for you and your family 

    But if all of this is new for you, you are also organizing a brand new train of thought!

    With new trains of thought, come even more thinking, and therefore even more opportunity for negativity and self-sabotage. As soon as you are unable to create an immediate solution for your clutter and chaos, you could be faced with thoughts of your ineptness for the entire project.

    cleaning motivation affirmations

    Home organization affirmations help you to keep the right thoughts about your abilities and capabilities at the forefront of your mind. You can create a new order for your home.  You are completely capable of creating or researching new ideas for order and putting them into action.

    Home organization affirmations help to sustain the right thoughts in your mind regardless if you are at the easiest or toughest part of your project.

    Keep Your Home Organization Benefits in Mind

    More than having a picture-perfect home, home organization helps to reduce the clutter in your mind.

    Your surroundings are a reflection of you and your thinking.  When you are disorganized in your home, you likely are carrying clutter and disorganization within you.  Your true home base is within.  Lacking organization in your home and personal mental clarity day after day can cause you to suffer from stress, anxiety, and mental fatigue.

    When you are constantly in search of something you have lost or you find your eyes land on a project to be done, you are simultaneously exerting mental energy. Mental energy or attention on unnecessary subjects can be significantly reduced when you know where things are, know where to put them, or lay eyes on empty spaces instead of clutter. With a less taxed mind, you can then have opportunity to enjoy the peace within your home and in your thoughts.

    Less distraction, less stress, and less wasted mental energy all contribute to your peaceful, focused, and clear mind. 

    affirmations for a clean house

    And with a positive mental state, you have room to be more creative, more innovative, more inspired, or simply more relaxed.  But you knew this already, which is why you began your decluttering project in the first place!

    How Do You Use Affirmations?

    Affirmations have many applications. Be open to experimenting and find what works for you when using them.

    The simplest method is to find or create a statement that has positive meaning to you and to read or say the statement aloud. You can repeat the statement once or repeatedly.  The number of times said is not as important as the statement becoming your focus in the moment.

    When you have a list of affirmations, you can read them all at once.  You can also choose to take one or two from the list and repeat them as if a mantra. When doing difficult or tedious tasks, it can be helpful to repeat your chosen affirmations while performing your task to keep maintain positive mental energy aligned with what you are doing.

    You can also choose to create a project initiation with your affirmations, for each day or each segment of your decluttering and home organization project.  Choose to consciously and intentionally clear your mind before taking any action. Close your eyes and perform a few deep breaths.  Once you find yourself centered, you can light a candle or take a moment to write your affirmations to signify a start to your new thinking.

    Then take time to read your affirmations, settling on every word, and purposefully aligning yourself with the meaning to you behind each statement. Allow the vision of your completed project to be your focus and your home organization affirmations to compliment this vision. When you have completed this, you are now ready to take on your tasks with the proper mental energy with your mind and actions in full alignment.

    Take time to learn what works for you and practice using your home organization affirmations when creating the environment you aspire to have.

    Home Organization Affirmations

    10 Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

    home organization affirmations

    Conclusion

    Keeping a positive state of mind and being kind to yourself as you live your life’s journey can be tough at times. But the rewards can be significant. When doing tough projects like home organization, keep yourself motivated with positive affirmations every step of the way.

    Looking for more ways to create a clear mind, positive atmosphere, and enjoy more personal balance. Take a look at these posts:

    And if you have ideas of how to create more peace and balance in your home or work life, please share them in the comments below!

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    How to Energize and Maximize Your Giving Spirit

    How to Energize and Maximize Your Giving Spirit

    The Giving Spirit takes its form in many ways and inspires many people.  We all can use inspiration at times when living such busy lives to find ways to energize and maximize our Giving Spirit.

    When you want to be more and give more, your heart can be in the right place and your mind can be all over the place.

    You can find yourself saying that you would do more if you only knew how or where to go. 

    It seems easy for some but the reality is:

    Not All People Know Exactly What to Do. 

    how to volunteer

    It is the reason why donating money at a supermarket cash register or contributing through auto-deduction at work is effective. 

    When you don’t know what to do, you try to at least attempt to do something.

    When you are looking for ways to fire up your Giving Spirit, know that you can energize the gift of giving in 100s of ways. 

    To maximize your Giving Spirit, you need only a little ingenuity and a willing heart to make more happen.

    Here are a few ideas that can inspire you at any time of year to energize and maximize your Giving Spir

    Give Time and Give Back to Your Community

    There are many organizations that look for helping hands to reach their charitable goals. 

    Food Banks need support to organize and box foods to share with families within the communities. 

    While we may live in a land full of abundance there are still many who do not have access to meals day-to-day. 

    Providing meal access is both through food donation and food material organization and distribution.  Helping hands help to keep the process chain moving.

    giving spirit

    Food Pantries and Homeless Shelters and Soup Kitchens all collect and distribute food donations.

    They also provide locations for hungry people with limited to no resources to go to receive prepared meals. 

    If you have skills in the kitchen or are willing to learn from other trained staff, you can be of expert help.

    how to give back to the community

    In your giving of your time, you are also giving gifts of health and nutrition throughout your community. 

    Give Talent to Maximize Your Giving Spirit

    There are more than 1 million non-profit and charitable organizations in the U.S. and more than 10 million in the world. 

    The opportunity to provide support through the donation of your skills and abilities is vast.

    Your interest to help may only require an email inquiry or phone call.

    Research non-profits in your area to see where they are.  Then contact them to see what they may need that you can provide.

    Now is not the time to be modest, embrace what you know and be open to sharing. 

    Share your talent and get your Giving Spirit in gear

    • If you know marketing, you may be able to help support advertising a fundraising campaign
    • Have talent with business writing? You may be able to support creating grant applications
    how to give back without money
    • If you know recruiting, you may be able to teach out-of-work individuals how to create a resume or how to interview
    • Are you a local leader? You may be able to mentor local students studying in your field
    • If you know accounting, you may be able to teach a budgeting class or help an organization improve their bookkeeping processes
    • As an experienced event planner, you may be able to support organizing a charitable drive
    the giving spirit volunteer
    • If you are a community or public servant, you may be able to help with local organization networking and resource sharing
    • And, if you can simply read, you may be able to spend time reading to an elderly person in hospice or reading to a children’s group at a shelter

    The options are endless and the leverage of your skills to support non-profit organization needs could be of tremendous benefit to many.

    Give Materials and Invest in Your Community

    We are constantly surrounded by things and not everything that surrounds us is something that we need. 

    Sharing items from our homes, our workplaces, our vehicles, or purchasing items to share is a beautiful way to make accessible useful items that others may need far more than we do.

    how to give back

    Donating goods and materials is not only of benefit to the people or organizations looking for support.

    It also is a tremendous way to honor the various products that we are able to craft, make, construct, and use to enhance our lives. 

    Look at your old possessions as once needed, useful, decorative, or simply required for your daily living. 

    If today, you no longer require these items then give thanks for what they once provided you and then pass on the blessing.

    Many items, any items, new or gently used can be of a true gift to someone in need. 

    When thinking of what to give, focus on the need and be inspired

    Download Infographic here

    Give Kindness and Energize Your Giving Spirit

    Often when thinking of giving, we look to serve the most desperate in our communities. 

    This is our Giving Spirit coming to life and shining light where it is most needed.

    However, we do not have to go in search of those in need to give life to the art of giving.

    We instill a Giving Spirit when we naturally give to anyone we see at any moment of the day. 

    Do not hesitate or wait for an organized event in order to give of your heart

    Simple acts of kindness to share anytime

    • Open a door for the next person you can
    • Pay the toll for the person behind you in line
    • Carry the bags for the next person you see who may be carrying too many
    the power of giving back
    • Offer help to your co-worker at work just because
    • Visit a neighbor with flowers, a plant, or a dessert
    • Acknowledge the good job of those who can sometimes get passed by like a cashier or a gas station attendant
    • Ask your child’s school if you can participate in a preschool, kindergarten, or 1st grade class by reading a book or talking about your work
    the giving spirit
    • Write an email or text to a relative or friend randomly and share why you think they are special
    • Say thank you to those who keep your community in order like your garbage collector or postal carrier

    These may seem like trivial actions and not exactly as if you are giving. 

    But the gift of kindness is how the Giving Spirit is born and grows in all of us.

    It is when we show that the needs of others outweigh our own that we spark feelings of gratitude and love between us. 

    As a giver, we are thankful to give and as a receiver, we are thankful to receive.

    Conclusion

    This Giving Spirit exchange is far bigger than the action between two people, it is the energy, emotion, and impression that we share that can literally span across the globe.

    volunteer illustration

    It is in the spirit of giving that we remember that we are a vast community across the planet, living together, supporting each other, and thriving together.

    Energize your Giving Spirit every single day by looking for ways to Maximize what giving can be in every moment you can.   

    Do you have other ideas to spark the Giving Spirit? If so, please comment below and share with everyone looking to give a bit more today!

    And Don’t Forget: Download the Charitable Giving Infographic for future reference.

    In a feel-good mood? Keep the energy moving. Here are some other posts you may like:

    The Perfect Self Love Tips to Change Your Life

    How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

    7 Ways to Create Balance

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    Are You Broken Because Your Life Isn’t Balanced?

    Are You Broken Because Your Life Isn’t Balanced?

    You need to live a balanced life. Or at least that is what you say to yourself. But where did that idea come from?

    Somewhere the narrative created was that a balanced life equals a happy life. There is nothing wrong with that math, except no one shared how to solve the equation.

    You can say, “I want to live a balanced life so that I can be happy now”.  But what do you do next?

    Think of all the questions that come with solving this mystery:

    • What if you don’t know how to become balanced?
    • How do you control the balance in your life if everything that makes you feel imbalanced is someone or something other than you?
    • When do you know that you have achieved balance and, if you do, how do you keep it?
    • Can you live a happy life and not be in balance?

    These are just samples of what comes to mind around the subject of happiness and balance.  The good news is that you are not broken, off track, or a bad person if you don’t know how to answer these questions.

    The real answer is that there is no one answer.  But you can create a solution that works for you and lets you feel less broken and more balanced. Here are 7 Tips for What to Do When You Feel Broken and Need More Balance in Your Life.

    Tip #1: Claim Your Definition for a Balanced Life

    living a balanced life

    You are the only one who can create the definition of balance for yourself. You are the master carpenter erecting the structure that is your day-to-day life.

    This empowered position is an excellent starting point toward gaining the joy in your life that you want.  And it is the kick-off point to establishing exactly how to achieve the balance you believe you should have.

    You, and only you, get to decide. 

    How to define your everyday balance

    benefits of a balanced life

    While you may not know what balance for you is in this moment, you have every day of your life to create your definition.

    • Balance for you can mean that you are able to well juggle the obligations of family, work, personal health, and finances, or 
    • It could also mean that you are able to be equally mindful of your goals for your physical well-being, your educational pursuits, and your spiritual priorities, or 
    • You may want to have a fabulous career, raise a beautiful family, and also travel the world, or

    • You may just want to pursue one idea, one dream, or one plan at a time.

    Life overflows with potential and opportunity.  You decide what options are the ones that make sense to you and for you.

    Choose which life experiences lend to what you are and which ones pull away from where you want to be. You do not have to do everything and you do not have to make all things a priority.

    By mindfully selecting the life experiences that are meaningful and enriching to you, you have the opportunity for defining your happiness.  And you decide the amount of time, attention, and focus you dedicate to the experiences that you want to have.

    In this way, you have defined balance by what you choose to do and what you elect not to do. When you place the most focus on what you love you have a better chance of experiencing a life that you love.

    Tip #2: Learn What Balance Feels Like to You

    the balanced life
    Feel good music just feels good

    Sometimes words just don’t do justice to describing a feeling.  Feelings are meant to be…..felt.

    Trying to define balance as a feeling can therefore be difficult.  However, it is important to define the feeling of balance for yourself so that you can recognize when you have achieved it.

    Balance can take on many characteristics based on what life experiences are at any moment.

    • Go to bed on time and wake up feeling rested
    • Complete the work you planned in your day and leave work feeling productive. 
    • Spend time with your kids playing ball in the backyard and after you’re feeling energized and thankful
    • Step out of your 20-minute shower feeling fresh and relaxed

    You take all of these parts and pieces and reflect upon them before you go to sleep.  And you say to yourself, you had a good day. Defining and then prioritizing these experiences can create good feeling days, weeks and months.

    The summary may be that you simply feel good.  But if asked, you may also say that you feel balanced.

    Give language and meaning to your balance

    It may be hard to describe your feelings let alone know what invokes them within you. But when your balance matters to you, you want to make clear when you have it so you can repeat it again and again.

    The sensation of

    • being in flow
    • achieving your goals
    • satisfying others’ needs
    • enjoying the people you love
    • gaining your wants and desires, or
    • receiving unexpected but pleasant surprises

    All of these and more can feel like balance to you. 

    Defining and feeling the experiences that create joy is how you define and feel being in balance.

    Tip #3: Embrace Your Imbalance

    balanced life

    Imbalance in life is not exactly the opposite of balance. 

    If balance equals good feelings and happy experiences, being out of balance does not necessarily equal bad feelings and unhappy events.

    A lack of balance can be chaotic or it can be fun.  It can be irrational or spontaneous. When you realize that life is never perfect you can appreciate the perfect chaos that is life.

    Find balance in the pleasure of a little imperfection

    You can find hidden benefits in many aspects of life where you least expect it. The trick is not to fall to pieces when imbalance shows its ugly head.

    • Dinner burned? Perfect time for pizza night!
    • Boss created a new project in the middle of your day? Perfect opportunity to learn something new and abandon your same old boring tasks!
    • Left your wallet at home when trying to checkout at the store? Guess you’ll spend a little more time listening to your favorite song in the car on your way back home!

    The bottom line is that you dictate what imbalance is to you.  And don’t let life’s imperfections take your balance away from you.

    Imbalance can be embraced as a welcomed part of life.  It can be an opportunity for gratitude in all that life has to offer, the ups and the downs, and everything in between.

    Tip#4: Believe That Imbalance Can Actually Make You Better

    how to live a balanced life as a woman

    The reality is that living an imbalanced life can be a significant part of achieving happiness.

    When you are cramming for an exam or prepping for a major presentation, you may not sleep for 2 days, barely eat, and talk to no one.  But the outcome of this extreme focus may be the biggest accomplishment you have ever experienced.

    A relationship gone bad can make you laser-focused on the type of romance most important to you.  A job you must quit can create a desire for a business you must build.

    When big transitions happen, you may first only see the pain in the situation.  And that’s okay.

    Your biggest deviations from balance can inspire your most substantial dreams for blissful existence

    You can be on top of the world tomorrow just because you allowed yourself to live in imbalance today.

    Understand when imbalance can serve you, educate you, and even motivate you to become more. 

    Your living in imbalance can be the way that you define your goal of balance with better clarity and increased certainty.

    Tip#5: Learn to Navigate Through Imbalance (Life on The Curve)

    feeling out of balance in life

    There is another side to imbalance. That’s the imbalance burn that sets the whole forest on fire.

    The times when you become consumed in any one area of your life and feel as if you completely neglected all other priorities.

    • Your family suffers because your work has become your everything. 
    • Your relationship suffers because you have placed your children on a pedestal above everything else. 
    • Your own health wanes because you have to make sure that everyone else in your life gets your time and energy.

    When you abandon balance for obsession on any subject for too long, you drain the essence from all the other aspects of life that bring you joy.

    The assortment of pleasures that life has to offer is there for you to make the most out of your life.  When you sacrifice the all for the one, you simultaneously choose to limit your access to life’s pleasures.

    elements of a balanced life

    Gaining joy, pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in life is what gives life its purpose. 

    Limiting your access to these treasures can make life feel like a purposeless burden.

    Sometimes bad balance is just good sense

    The reality is that life may call upon you to be imbalanced at times:

    • a sick child
    • a serious work obligation
    • a parent in need
    • an almost foreclosed home

    These are not the times to worry over your life balance.  These are times when true balance is putting all your focus on the one, big thing and knowing that other parts of your life pale in comparison. And it’s not only necessary, but it’s okay.

    Know the difference when what could appear as an imbalanced approach is actually a well-balanced decision.

    Bonus Tip: Don’t Let Yourself Hide in the Imbalance

    Some parts of life demand acting with urgency and treating parts of your life as an emergency.  But there are also times when imbalance can become an unhealthy habit through patterned avoidance.

    There are parts of your life that can be damaged or difficult and not an immediate source of happiness for you.  So, to avoid having to confront the challenge of correcting these problems, you may elect to be imbalanced and focus all of your attention where you can feel better.  

    Initially, this is not a poor choice or a bad option. Placing attention on the areas of life that provide you joy can lead to feelings of balance that can eventually be shared across all subjects. You are allowed to fill your cup in any way that you choose that puts you in the best space to live your best life.

    But perpetual avoidance can become an addiction.

    Living only in safe spaces can be another way that life becomes limited

    If you only live to work because this is where you succeed, then what happens when work becomes dysfunctional and you lose your only source of joy?

    Your work cannot love you like a spouse or guide you like a parent.  But you may misplace your needs for care and attention in unhealthy places because you have avoided nurturing other aspects of your life from where it should naturally come.

    And when the one place you put all of your energy into falls apart, you have nowhere left to turn.

    Purposeful imbalance due to obsessive pain avoidance can lead to a very unhappy life.

    Creating ways to balance life through a diversity of joyful outlets can make finding balance a much easier mission to tackle.  Even when some areas of life need a little work, focusing on the prospect of a better condition can create joy in the process.

    Avoiding a problem may seem like a quick and easy resolution but can lead away from the much bigger picture of a better and more balanced life.

    Conclusion: Create Your Version of a Balanced Life

    creating your life balance

    Now that you have defined your balance, your imbalance, and gained clarity of purpose and feeling, it’s time to live what you know.

    Living as balanced is an everyday adventure.  Take time to explore and identify the different parts of life that you see as a priority.  Intentionally set as priority those aspects of life that bring the most joy and happiness, even if that means a little work involved to get them to their fullest potential.

    Take pride in yourself when you have chosen imbalance as a way to propel yourself into a more favorable place.  Remember it is okay to trade a little pain for a lot of gains. Be mindful to not let your imbalance tip the scales and take you to a negative place.  Too much of a good thing can be bad, and too much of a bad thing can be devastating.

    Find ways to fill your cup, regain your focus, and live life with purpose. You choose what a balanced life looks life and feels like.

    Remember, you are not broken if balance is not in your life today, but you can decide every day if you need to be balanced.

    Related Article: 7 Remarkable Ways of Creating Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

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    7 Remarkable Ways of Creating  Life Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

    7 Remarkable Ways of Creating Life Balance in Your Imbalanced Life

    Creating life balance is the key to living a better life.

    It is energizing to live each day in flow. And it is empowering to feel that no matter what comes there is comfort that awaits you. Knowing that you are in balance gives both a sense of relaxation and excited anticipation to any day. 

    However, imbalance is also a part of life. At times it can seem like the only part of life that you are living. 

    The days strung together when it feels that nothing is in flow. The moments when nothing goes as planned and the worst scenario seems to just keep showing up. These are the times when you just want the day to stop and start over.

    Feel empowered to know that you don’t have to remove the experience of imbalance to have a good life.

    You couldn’t even if you wanted to. But that’s okay. Make peace with your times of imbalance and learn ways to regain balance once it has been lost.

    Take a look at these 7 ways of creating life balance when imbalance has become way too much of your life.

    1. Give Yourself Grace

    finding balance in life
    Sometimes life is just hard and it’s okay to say it

    Giving yourself grace is permitting yourself to simply be human when things fall apart.  Be angry, cry, feel defeated, and frustrated. It’s human to feel bad when it seems like everything could get no worse.

    Sometimes the fastest way to regain balance is to release trying to have it. (Yes, you read that right).

    Pause in your discomfort and honor that your emotions exist and feel them. Even when it feels the worst try to accept your feelings instead of pushing them away.

    Beyond the hurt, what do your emotions tell you?

    • Are you disappointed in yourself for not trying harder?
    • Did someone you love betray your trust?
    • Have you given up on trying because you fear failure too much?
    • Do you criticize yourself more than loving yourself out of habit?

    Acknowledge where you are. Give yourself grace for getting there. And learn what you can from the experience.

    Developing a habit of pause and reflection in the midst of imbalance and emotional disarray permits you to build the muscle of self awareness. It is from here that you can move forward with purpose and direction.

    How does self awareness help with creating life balance?

    Self awareness gives space to experience your thoughts and emotions and examine your personal interpretation of them. You can give yourself time to answer the simple questions of “what do I feel” and “why?”

    In absence of taking this reflective moment, you can become lost in your emotion and directionless in your actions solely inspired by your discomfort. This aimless movement can create even more painful imbalance.

    In these moments you can

    • turn on yourself simply for being in a poor emotional state
    • frantically spin your wheels trying to blindly fix everything that’s wrong
    • blame others for your emotional state and blast others for their wrongdoings
    • become hopeless and wayward with no understanding of how to stop your pain

    All of these conclusions come sweeping in when all of your energy is placed on removing your pain and not learning from it. You want your world back in control now!

    Grace is accepting when everything is out of control it is time to stop trying to control it and just let all things be. In this way, you begin healing for yourself, acceptance of everything around you, and creating balance.

    2. Invoke the Power of Positive Self Talk

    finding balance
    What you say to you matters so think before you speak

    Words are powerful.  Therefore, there is good reason to choose your words wisely or suffer the consequence of self-created imbalance. 

    As if a mantra, you can at times repeat over and over again all the negatives about yourself or your experiences.

    • This is a horrible day. 
    • Why is everything going wrong? 
    • Here we go again! 
    • I’m an idiot. 
    • I can make a mess of everything!!!

    The list of imbalanced words and phrases has no end and so with it no end to the problems that come with it. The words that we repeat become the reality that we live. When we speak negativity to ourselves then a moment of discomfort can become a full day of regret.  

    You are the key to the life that you manifest and your words are instruments in the making of it. 

    In the midst of imbalance, you may not be able to change what you are facing. But you can change the words you say, think, or repeat.

    Choose to soothe yourself instead of aggravating your frazzled nerves more. Start small but purposefully. Try affirming to yourself,

    • “it will be okay” or,
    • “I know I am doing my best”, or
    • “it can only get better from here”

    Be creative with your means for creating life balance through your words by singing a song that you enjoy or reciting a prayer or poem that brings you peace.

    Choose words with emotions that represent where you want to be even if you feel very different in the present. Affirm the balance that you aspire to experience.

    10 Positive Affirmations for Creating Life Balance

    • I know that as things get better and I will get happier and happier
    • Tomorrow is a new day and I can’t wait to wake up to a good morning
    • I am thankful for every peaceful and relaxing experience I have ever had
    • I am grateful for the calm I give my mind through focus
    • I appreciate feelings of relief and conclusion
    • I embrace the all experiences that life brings
    • Every day that I am I have another opportunity to just be
    • I am proud of myself because I try
    • I love myself and all that I am
    • I create balance in my life and am grateful to myself for doing it

    Say the words that you need to hear to become the balance you need to have.  

    3. Champion Your Own Chivalry

    finding a balance
    Protect your needs for well-being and your right to balance

    To take care of another before oneself is only one form of chivalry.  Do not hesitate to become the champion of courtesy and honor for yourself.

    Put a gallant effort toward defending your right to peace when imbalance has seemingly taken over your life. You can be your own knight in shining armor. Take the necessary actions to smite the sources of the imbalance that confront you. 

    Make choices that honor your personal needs for importance, priority, and self-care. And be proud to take life balance as a reward.

    Related Post: 5 Truly Intimate Ways to Practice Self Love and Feel Good Loving Yourself

    Chivalrous actions you may take for yourself can include:

    • Leaving work early whenever the day permits it
    • Deciding not to answer a phone call to reduce your distractions
    • Escaping for a private moment within your work day by getting water, taking a walk, or even going to the bathroom

    So often we deny ourselves simple courtesies in exchange for pleasing others or satisfying imbalanced expectations of ourselves.  

    Make decisions that serve you and become an ambassador of your sanctity and sanity. When life becomes too much it is okay to pause what you can so that you are in a better place to handle what comes. 

    Be chivalrous to yourself regularly and you may thwart many occasions of imbalance on the horizon.

    4. Relax and Replenish Your System

    how to find balance in life
    Recharging your battery gives you the energy to stay strong when you need it most

    Within the most basic human functions lays the most critical of needs, replenishment.

    Rest, relaxation, and sleep each serves to provide replenishment to the body. Replenishment of the body secures a foundation whereby you are in the best condition to perform at your highest capacity. 

    The pressures, stresses, and frustrations of the day are regular occurrences that place a demand upon your physical and mental disposition.  Replenishment is a defense against these attacks on your balance and provides you the strength to carry on.  

    When feeling imbalanced examine your rest, relaxation, and sleep schedule, and if poor, address it immediately and with urgency. 

    Related Post: Wake Up Brand New by Creating a Sleep Ritual

    Fighting the internal war of fatigue will invite imbalance and potentially subject you to even more. This can leave you without the strength to find your way to balance.  

    Know also that replenishment is more than sleep, though getting the length and depth of rest through sleep is important. Other forms of replenishment exist too:

    While replenishment will not always cure imbalance by itself, it can provide you with centeredness that can support your return-to-balance journey.

    5. Create a Space to Reclaim Your Balance

    how to balance life
    10 minutes of peace and positive focus can feel like a miracle

    When your whole world has toppled and there is confusion everywhere you look, finding respite in your sanctuary away from the storm can immediately make you feel better.

    Create a space that provides you with access to your balance even if only temporarily.

    Balance at Work

    how to balance your life
    Let a simple image transport you to another place

    You may find that at work your place of balance is your desk, your locker, or even your screensaver. 

    Here you can place positive messages, photos of family, or a memento that has special meaning to you. Create an inspired, peaceful vision and gain the power to provide calm within your line of sight.

    Related Post: How to Create Your At-Work Sanctuary

    Balance at Home

    balance your life
    Simplicity can bring balance in an instant

    At home, it may be your bedroom or a spare room where you find your quiet place of peace from the world.

    Dedicate any small corner to include symbols or images of calm that are meaningful to you. A small candle or a place to burn fragrant incense can be enough. A beautiful bouquet of flowers can touch your spirit and invoke a recall to balance.

    Related Post: 7 Tips for Creating a Home Sanctuary that Feels Amazing

    Visiting your sacred space or creating one for the first time can represent giving to yourself. This gift of balance can be critical when it feels like the whole world is only taking.  Display items that have a special meaning that provide a sense of grounding and control in an otherwise chaotic existence.

    Imbalance can seem to walk with you no matter where you go. But creating a space for peace can allow you to release your burdens and step into balance when needed.

    6. Connect with Nature

    find balance in your life

    No matter the season or time of day, it may be a perfect opportunity to step into nature when you feel that imbalance abounds. There is almost always an opportunity to experience nature if you choose to prioritize the experience. 

    When the walls feel as if they are closing in and the place you stand feels unstable, turn your sights to your nearest window or open door.

    • Close your eyes and take a deep breath allowing fresh air to fill your lungs and graze across your body
    • Take a walk and focus your attention on every planted step as you feel the surety of solid ground supporting your stride
    • Look to the sky and embrace the beauty, expansiveness, and freedom of a never-ending horizon

    Nature represents simplicity but also manifests itself in substantial ways representing the eternal access to balance in life. 

    How can nature help when creating life balance?

    When creating life balance we can look to engage with nature and claim our place with its natural harmony:

    • Watch the movement of life around you. Birds in the trees, squirrels running across the ground, people bustling to their destinations all represent the beauty of intersected life around you.
    • Allow your skin to feel the rays of the sun or the coolness of raindrops on a cloudy day. The connection between you and the elements is a reminder of your union with the world.
    • Take in the fragrance of sweet flowers in the spring, freshly mowed grass in the summer, or falling leaves from majestic trees carried in the wind on a fall day. Allow the subtleties of life to show how easily calm can seep into your day.

    Go out and experience the abundance of eternal balance that surrounds you. And reassure yourself that your personal balance is only steps away at any moment.

    7. Find Your Tribe

    how to achieve balance
    Surround yourself with loved ones when you need it most

    There is no rule that your road to balance must be traveled alone. So when you find yourself in the thrusts of imbalance make use of your resources.

    When you are fortunate enough to have special people in your life, trust in the strength of your relationship that they will want to support you.

    Loyal companions who always have a positive disposition and a helping hand to lend are a treasure. Good people with good dispositions are great resources to have.

    When your path has gotten too dim for you to find your way home alone, a good friend will act as a lighthouse across your dark sea and guide you back to balance.

    how to bring balance into your life
    A burden shared between two people can be much lighter weight than a crushing problem held by one

    Remember also, you may not always have access to live support every time you need it. Late-night hours, travel, or just life can make it hard to connect with family and friends at times.

    So it is important to also build a tribe of indirect connections and support to guide your journey towards balance.

    creating a balanced life
    The vehicles of peace are endless. Search for support and know that it is always there.

    These resources can come in the form of musicians, artists, writers, podcasters, YouTubers, bloggers, and more. At a moment’s notice, no matter the time day or night, you can tap into their message and be transported to a better place.

    • Listen to music. Create playlists designed to lift your spirits when needed
    • Read a book or your favorite highlighted passage
    • Watch a motivational video or a heartwarming movie
    • Learn from an online educator a new way to ease your stress or bring order to your life

    Your favorite artists, creators, and entertainers can be your lifeline in bad times.

    Curate your tribe with care and reap the rewards of partnered effort towards balance. Invest in creating your team for balance and see the fruits of your labor flourish with positive connections and peace.

    Conclusion

    While imbalance is a part of life, and not always an enjoyable part, balance also exists. 

    The path of moving from the discomfort of imbalance to creating life balance can be challenging but achievable. Find comfort in knowing that any struggle is only temporary by nature. 

    The keys to creating life balance are to accept your imbalance, learn from it, and use your learning to choose the best path ahead. Ready your tools and resources so you can gain the support you require on your path and feel empowered on your life journey always.

    Take command of your ability to create balance in your life. And know that no amount of imbalance can keep you from living the quality of life you choose to live.  When you prepare ahead for the imbalance you know to come, you can be in the best position to bring yourself back to the balance that keeps you whole.

    Looking for more inspiration while navigating the Curvy Points of life’s journey? Subscribe today. 

    Have you found the perfect way to face imbalance in your daily life? Share your method in the Comments section below.

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