The Best Advice for What to Do When You Want to Give Up

The Best Advice for What to Do When You Want to Give Up

When you are facing what seems to be an insurmountable problem, eventually you may come to the point where you just say, “ I GIVE UP!”  The last thing that you may want to admit to is defeat, but you may have no other choice.  Or at least that is how you feel.

When you are stressed, lost, without answers, and out of time, you may believe that you have no other options left but to throw in the towel.  But in reality, you may still have hope yet.

Every situation is different, but there is one common theme.  You cannot create a solution if your mind is still focused on the problem.  Particularly if your version of focusing on the problems includes repeatedly saying and believing that your only choice is to give up.

Use one or all of these 15 pieces of advice to stop using I GIVE UP language and do what you need to do to get it done!

1. Carry Yourself with Confidence

Your body can look like you gave up before you have even uttered a word. Instead of slouching, looking down, and blinking back tears, take on a pose of confidence and invincibility.  It is hard to hold a superheroes pose and act and feel defeated at the same time. Stand tall and take on your challenge with confidence.

2. Breathe

Deep breathing exercises help to create a sense of calm and regain mental clarity.  When your brain is burned out and burden by a relentless problem, take a moment to breathe and refresh your thinking.  

3. Pay Attention to How You Feel

The reality is that saying, I Give Up, can feel like a relief.  But it can also be a proclamation of utter defeat.  Pay attention and care about how you feel instead of dismissing your feelings as insignificant.  Your emotions effect your thinking and can serve to empower or deflate your sense of self. Before giving up, take time to explore ways to improve your emotional status and influence a shift towards a more positive state of being.

4. Be Direct With Your Communication

Are you belting out into the world, I GIVE UP, hoping someone else will hear you?  While mildly effective, you may not reach the real solution you need.  Instead of shouting out your defeat and hoping for pity, say what your needs are directly to who needs to here it. Telling others exactly what you need gives opportunity for honest dialogue and a more precise resolution that may set you on the right path.

5. Focus on Solutions

It is pretty difficult for anyone to create a solution if all that you see is the problem in front of you.  Create and hold the vision of where you want things to be and then attempt to create a path to get there.  A problem without any thought of the potential outcome can seem impossible. But how would you draw a map if you have no idea where are trying to go. Determine your final destination with clarity and keep your mental focus on creating or finding solution to make your vision a reality. It is likely your problem has already received enough attention.

6. Believe in Possibilities

The easiest way to run out of solutions is to convince yourself that none exist.  Then giving up seems to be the natural path to turn to.

Instead, truly consider and transition your mind into a state of belief. Even though a solution may not be clear to you now does not mean it is impossible.  Possibilities always exist and are more evident to the mind that believes in their potential.

7. Test Your Boundaries

Sometimes you not only need to figure out a solution to a new problem, but derive completely new ways to create a solution.  Your old tricks of the trade may not apply this time. Be open to try new resources, think in unusual and creative ways, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable and accept that you may still get it wrong with the first few tries.  Test your personal boundaries and allow yourself to move into unknown territory. You will not only develop a solution but new skills in the process.

8. Ask for Help

Humility can be hard when you already feel lost and defeated.  But a small blow to your ego could net you tremendous results.  Allow your family, friends, co-workers, superiors, professors, outside professionals, and experts in the field to guide you on a new path.  Don’t limit yourself when exploring new options. It is not a matter for finding the all-around perfect helper but finding the right help for the problem you are solving now.

9. Take a Break

How long have you been hammering away at the same problem and making no headway whatsoever?  No wonder you want to give up, your brain already gave up 2 hours ago. Step away from your desk.  Distract your mind from your constant overthinking.  Get a drink of water. Relieve yourself from repetitive and overly persistent thought. It can be just the relief you need to let new ideas come to the surface.

10. Cry

Emotional release can be highly gratifying.  When internal tension seems to be at the breaking point due to frustration, stagnation, and confusion of how to move forward, allow your tears to be your much-needed tension release to cleanse your mind and body of unwanted stress. With a release of tension can come a new open path to innovation and idea.

11. Look for Proof of Your Success

You may not be able to create a quick resolution to the problem in front of you.  But in the past you may have figured out many other problems almost in your sleep.  Don’t allow yourself to become so absorbed in what feels like failure to label yourself a total failure. 

Remember when you have been successful in the past. And even if you don’t have answers right now, confirm that you know from experience that you are capable of creating solutions.

12. Be Relentless

Changing your language from I GIVE UP to I WILL NOT GIVE UP is a complete gamechanger.  With the right words you have now proclaimed your intention and empowered yourself with conviction.  This subtle but significant change of self talk can be just the boost you need to tackle what you have in front of you. Speak what you will to happen instead of being subject to what you fear to happen.

13. Have Faith

Faith in yourself is believing that you are capable and that whatever is necessary you will do.  You will keep moving forward.  You will attempt different resolutions.  You will figure it out.  Trust in your ability to be accountable to you and have faith that you will deliver.

14. Be Patient with Yourself

If you have been working on your problem and you just don’t seem to be moving fast enough or as smoothly as you would like, be patient.  Even if you have a stellar success record, this time may simply be different.  Giving yourself grace and allowing yourself to be a novice can relieve pressure and place you in a better state of mind to determine real solutions. Expecting expert level skill for a tough or never-before-seen problem can create unnecessary frustration and creative blocks.

15. Actually Give Up

You may have said, I GIVE UP, 1000 times but actually keep going back at it, trying and trying again.  If you are in a clear state of mind, completely objective, and genuinely have no resolution to your problem, it may be time to surrender. 

Give up.  Being honest with yourself can be the right answer to move from belaboring a problem to addressing the consequences of a problem unresolved.  Move on and be successful in your next steps instead of trying to force the impossible. 

Giving up is not always failure.  At times, it can be the most logical and thoughtful decision you can make to be kind to yourself.


It can be difficult to make a decision of what to do when you want to give up. Unsolved problems can create a pattern of stress and anxiety that can seem to strip ideas and solutions from your mind.

Take time to consider whether you have put yourself in the best frame of mind to support you to act in your own best interest. Create calm, release tension, and find better words to speak to support the outcome you seek to achieve.

You are more than capable to make what you want happen. Give yourself the support and patience to accomplish what you want and the faith to know it is possible.

Do you have a brilliant suggestion on how to move forward when you want to give up? Share it in the comments section below. And if you know someone who needs a few ideas of how to plow forward, don’t forget to share this post.

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How to Pull Yourself Together When Everything is Falling Apart

How to Pull Yourself Together When Everything is Falling Apart

How exactly do you pull yourself together when it feels like every single thing around you is falling apart? I mean, you really are falling apart. Your whole world is just absolutely falling apart. What do you do now?

Life can sometimes be hard. But in those really unforgivable times, life is impossible. The problems come over and over again without answers and no resolution. The waves of trouble hit relentlessly and fiercely. It is as if you are drowning in a sea of desperation and nothing and no one cares to know that you can’t swim.

There is no easy answer. But there may be a beginning. And that beginning can lead to a better place, even if only slightly. A form of relief can be discovered just enough to rekindle your knowing that hope still exists.

When you need to make a shift, change your mind, and believe in hope again, here are a few steps to point you in the right direction.

(Note: This blog post is not intended to replace the guidance of a licensed and professional therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or physician. If you are dealing with significant depression, having suicidal ideation, and/or have habitual issues with hopelessness and helplessness, do not hesitate to reach out to a licensed professional or dial 911. Always know that there are professionals who have dedicated their careers to being of service to those with mental health needs and you are not alone).

First, what does it mean to fall apart?

To fall apart is the unwilling but inevitable conceding that comes after exhausting all efforts to control or survive the insurmountable challenges that have come to pass. Regardless of the plans you’ve made, the idea of normal you have contrived, or the better experiences you’ve had in the past, you are right now living in an uncontrolled upheaval of life as you know it should be.

Falling apart can manifest due to anything you are going through like a failed marriage, a lost job, or a dying relative. It can be all three together. It could be all of this and, sadly, even more. But beyond the circumstances that serve as the catalyst to your bitter agony, falling apart is joined with your mental, physical, and even spiritual reaction to it all. You no longer have the strength to endure the stress that accompanies all the painful chaos in your life.

When you acknowledge that you are falling apart, you may gain one more layer of discomfort and this is in your loss of hope. You see no way out. You understand no solution. And you have found no plan of action to release the situation or the pain with it.

With such a bleak and empty disposition, where could you possibly go from here?

Surrender | Accept | Be Humble | Ask for Help | Start Over

#1 Surrender

To surrender is to give up. It is to relinquish all forms of control and succumb to the power of that which is bigger than you. And while surrender may seem similar to falling apart, it really can be quite different.

When you surrender, you have released the burden of power and control. With this type of release, you can also give away the idea that you, and only you, are the source of resolution to your problems. The very reason why it all may be so hard is that you made a massive assumption that it was all on you.

In reality, problems can come that are simply bigger than what you can resolve. And that is okay! You can surrender the responsibility, surrender the accountability, surrender the blame and instead accept that it can’t be you. And try to find peace in this knowing.

Yes. You are falling apart. But it is time to take a new direction. Instead of falling apart and allowing the weight of your problems to swallow you whole, surrender. Float on the surface of the water and let it carry you. Release your need to paddle so hard to survive.

Even if it is all yours to blame, from here there is nothing that you can do. So free yourself. Release your guilt and give in. If you can see and feel the subtle difference with surrendering, then you can start to make subtle but meaningful changes to pull yourself together and move forward.

#2 Accept Yourself When Falling Apart

The most significant shift that you make when your life is falling apart and you finally surrender is acceptance. Acceptance is not giving up on creating solutions or improvements. Acceptance is not wallowing in failure or self-pity. Instead, acceptance is embracing that you are where you are and that for you this is okay.

You may not feel okay. You may feel like it is all over. But you accept that your feelings, your exhaustion, your confusion of where to go next is okay and normal and human. You are allowed to be discouraged. You have permission to feel a sense of failure. You are okay to be angry, frustrated, and just disgusted with all of it.

Accepting your state may sound obvious to some, but for many, it is the very reason why you have nothing left. Fighting the reality of the severity of your situation, hammering day in and day out trying to create a breakthrough. Your refusal to surrender and simply accept is pushing you beyond your brink.

Lay down your armor. And give yourself peace. You can fight another day. But right now it’s time to stop and accept where you are.

When you can accept where you are, even despite the discomfort, fear, and shame, you begin to see yourself differently. Part of pulling yourself together is knowing when you should stop beating yourself up for where you are. It’s okay. You are not perfect in action, but you are perfectly human.

#3 Risk Being Humble After Falling Apart

Humility is often seen as a meek and mild state of being. However, when you feel like you are falling apart, being openly humble can be a significant demonstration of your strength in character and foresight.

When you have put your all into being strong, pushing through, and holding it all together, the last thing you want to do is fail AND let others know that you have failed. You don’t want to tell your story and have it show up like excuses. You don’t want to show your tears and receive pitying glances or be the subject of gossip and whispered conversations. You are not a failure and you sure as hell don’t want to be treated like one.

But when you release the need to be strong, you can open up a channel that creates a new strength within you. Being strong is not only doing it all and keeping yourself together. Being strong is also defined by knowing when to admit failure and knowing when you require support.

Knowledge is proud that it knows so much; wisdom is humble that it knows no more.

All of us, every human being, can only learn when we accept that life will always cause us to be a student at some point. And in life, there is no human being that exists that can avoid being a student. There is not one person who has known all things since birth. All that we know we learn.

When you embrace the humility of your situation and allow for solutions to come from somewhere other than you, you are stronger for it. Pulling yourself together is finding strength in new ways and not feeling shame when you have to do it.

#4 Ask for Help

Accepting that you need help and actually asking for it are two different things. The action of asking for help when you are in desperate need can bring to life a world of emotions and challenges.

The bringing in of others into a much-needed but highly sensitive situation is a delicate matter. And while it may be an absolute necessity, do not be so rushed in the process that you neglect yourself. Allow yourself to recognize that while it must be done, it is also hard to do. Beyond the potential of feeling awkward and exposed, you may also experience uncontrolled tears, anger, quietness, or unclear speech.

Some approach these emotionally rich situations with a “ripping off a band-aid” method; do it quickly and get it over with. Others display odd sarcasm or ready-for-attack positions. Still others can barely muster the words to say what they need and it barely comes out. None of these approaches is wrong. But before moving forward, attempt to be conscious of how you want to proceed.

Be selective, if you can, with who you reach out to for support. Make conscious efforts to choose those you know who will help you to stand in your strength versus those who will only make the road tougher.

You never need to be so humble as to take someone else’s abuse. And you never need to accept that part of being in need is being at another person’s mercy. Respect yourself through the process by allowing yourself to be respected while being supported. And feel comfort in knowing that you had a true partner with you to help pull yourself together.

#5 Starting Over

When you have lost so much, starting over can be a confusing option to consider. How do you start over when your partner has left you? Where do you go when your loved one has passed on? Can you start over when you are missing the most important pieces of you?

The reality that you already know, but needs once again to be heard, is the changes you have gone through have changed you forever. You are not the same and, at this moment, you may not like who you have become. But you get to decide if where you are, and what you have been through, is all that you have for your future.

Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

Marilyn monroe

The life that you once lived is no longer. Being at your darkest hour is a memory that will linger for some time. But you cannot move forward if all you do is look backward and relive a past that lives only in your mind. If you have made even a subtle shift and allowed yourself to surrender, accept, be humble, and ask for help, you are already starting brand new.

The place that you stand at this moment is one that you have never been to. You are, right now, making your mark. And every decision sets the direction of your thoughts, emotions, hopes, and dreams.

Starting over is a decision. Moving forward is a journey. Along this journey you may have to start over again and again until you become sure-footed, stable, and contented. But in making the decision, it can be called the most important of them all. Because when you have decided to lift yourself and pull yourself together, realize that you have claimed the strength within you to do so at the same time. You have truly regained your power.


When your life is falling apart, it may be the hardest time to see your way clear to a better place. You have tried everything in your power until you have no try left.

But despite even the most bleakest of times and the darkest of hours, there is always a way to move forward. Solutions exist if you are willing to surrender your doing, accept where you are, and be open to humbly receive.

When the most critical parts of your dilemma have begun to be put back together, you still are left with the remnants of your fractured self. But it’s okay. You made it through. And if you can muster the strength to start over from here, your wisdom will provide you an even stronger foundation. You can pull yourself together, one step at a time.

If you or someone you know is truly struggling with a life crisis, always stop and consider if professional help is required. Seek out the support of a licensed therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or physician to evaluate the situation and get help.

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5 Reasons You’re Worried About Procrastination and You Shouldn’t Be

5 Reasons You’re Worried About Procrastination and You Shouldn’t Be

Are you worried about how to beat procrastination?  There will never be a lack of articles, books, studies, and discussions on the subject.  Not only is procrastination a common problem, but there is also a strong consensus that it is an issue that must be fixed. 

The problem of procrastination, however, may not be in its presence.  But, moreover, in the obsession of creating its absence. 

Procrastination is a stubborn foe.  The more you tell it to go away, the more persistently it stays looming over your head.  But if you really want to conquer this issue that plagues you, you will be better served to not see it as an issue at all.   

Here are 5 reasons that you are constantly worrying over procrastination when you really shouldn’t.  You may be perfectly in the right place for these right reasons:

You’re Not Aligned | You’re Not Interested | You’re Not Comfortable | You’re Not Prepared | You’re Not Procrastinating!

#1 You’re Not Aligned

Alignment is the energetic synchronization of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.   Essentially the intangible, intuitive, inspired version of you syncs with the practical, grounded, and tactical part of you and then you take action. When these parts and pieces come together you experience a sense of being in the zone, moving unconsciously and fluidly, and having little to no hesitation in what you do.

Contrastingly, when you are not aligned these parts and pieces are disconnected.  You do not feel inspired to move forward.  There is a lack of energy toward your goals or potentially a lack of clarity on how to accomplish your goals.

In your futile attempts to push forward, you feel a sort of all-stop mode kick in between your idea and your action.  You may have the desire to get things done but you feel totally unsupported by your inner self.

How Do You Cure a Lack of Alignment?

When you feel stagnation in your energy, use it as an alarm system to make you aware that a specific area of your life may require attention.  For example, pay attention to any issues that you have that may cause you distraction, dysfunction, lethargy, or a sense of hopelessness

Know that while you are facing these challenges to your mental, physical, or spiritual balance it may not be possible to accomplish your goals.  You may have significant blockers thwarting your ability to perform simple tasks, organize your thoughts, or maintain emotional balance.

The energy of the mind is the essence of life.


Therefore, it may be the ideal time to take heed to your internal distress call and focus on healing yourself.  Even simple activities can lift your energy leading to a more productive state.

  • Clear your mind with a long walk, a healthy meal, or even a good cry
  • Relax your body with a soothing bath or a much-needed, overdue nap
  • Connect with spirit through meditation, prayer, or listening to inspiring music

Listen to your needs and tend to any significant imbalances first before attempting your task. Focusing on your alignment when you know that it is lacking can unlock your resistance and inspire your action forward. You can beat procrastination by having gratitude for its presence directing you to take time for yourself.

 #2 You’re Not Interested

Everything that you believe you must do is not necessarily something that you have any interest in doing.  Obligations are just that, things that you are obligated to do.  However, an obligation is not always fulfilling, gratifying, or rewarding.

We are fortunate when what we have to do and what we want to do are the same.  But it can feel very unfortunate when what we have to do is something we dread and see no purpose in completing.

How Do You Become Interested in What’s Not Interesting?

You don’t.  Do not try to change your initial and engrained emotion toward the task as it will likely require even more time than just doing the task. 

Abandon a need to like the thing.

Instead, explore if there are any redeeming and motivating aspects when envisioning the task completed:

  • The sense of relief that you no longer have to think of the task
  • The reduction in pressure from a boss, parent, partner, or anyone else who has a joint interest in the task being completed
  • The pride in knowing that you found a way to overcome your stagnation and got it done

In order to carry a positive action,
we must develop here a positive vision.

Dalai Lama

Finding an alternative reason to produce drive and focus can help to inspire motivation regardless of interest. Creating a vision of your state of being with all things complete can instill passion when before there was avoidance.

Another thing to consider is if you have no interest but still feel obligated, why?  Is it absolutely necessary that the task is completed or completed by you?

Obligations can create feelings of guilt, a tendency toward people-pleasing, and irrational compromise and conformity.  Find your way to accept that it’s okay to prioritize your needs even if someone else’s needs are not met. 

Honor yourself by doing what you elect to do, have an interest in doing, and are willing to do for others of your own accord.  Sometimes beating procrastination is accomplished by simply avoiding saying yes to things you don’t want to do.

#3 You’re Not Comfortable

Everything that is a to-do task or an inferred obligation is not something that you feel okay with doing. Sometimes you are just uncomfortable with what you have been made to believe you should do.

An off-request from your boss or a choosing-sides favor between feuding friends can place you in an uncomfortable spot.

What is worse is that the person who expects your participation does not understand or even consider that they have just placed you in an uncomfortable position.  But even if they do not realize it, don’t ignore the fact that you do.

Annual Planner

How Do You Diminish Procrastination Due to Discomfort?

You would think that this would be the easiest procrastination problem to resolve.  If it makes you uncomfortable, just don’t do it.

But, in reality, you may feel damned if you do and damned if you don’t! 

Refusing to take on the task asked of you may make you feel aligned with your values, but it can take a toll on your relationships.  And if you have been procrastinating you likely have given a false impression that you were at one point onboard. So, you not only are uncomfortable but have had a growing discomfort from the beginning that just keeps building.

It may not be what you want to hear, but you have to decide when you will stop the cycle.  The ability to regain your power and remove your procrastination is in your hands. Not only do you have to be comfortable knowing exactly what the right decision is for you.  You need also to become comfortable with owning your decision when dealing with others.  You are the only one who has the final say on what you will or will not do.

To beat this version of procrastination is to stop beating up on yourself for honoring what you believe in.  And at the same time show respect to the requestor by telling them honestly how you feel. Pull the plug.  Rescind your acceptance.  And make amends in the best way you can.  To move forward and ignore your gut feeling may create a trend that you will regret over time.

#4 You’re Not Prepared

Procrastination examples

Not every task requires preparation, but when it does and you are not prepared it can feel awful. An unprepared endeavor can lead to anxiety, doubt, insecurity, and frenzy.  The next thing you know in order to alleviate these feelings you run from the task altogether.

You can also have what you need to do your project, but simply feel unprepared.  When you regularly experience self doubt and insecurity in what you do, you can cut yourself off from progression before you start.

How Can You Conquer Procrastination with Preparation?

Whether real or feared, poor preparation does not have to stop you from moving forward.  The real prepping is strengthening your resolve.

  • Take inventory of what you really need to move forward.  Many times, you may have made the image of unpreparedness bigger in your mind than it is actually.  Being practical and skimming things down to necessity can empower you that you are more ready than you originally believed.
  • Be comfortable to be creative.  Every problem to be resolved or task to be conquered is not executed perfectly from beginning to end.  If you should have had certain things in order but don’t, what alternative can you put in place to still reach your goal?  There often are many paths to success.
  • Check in on your perfectionism gauge.  Whether truly prepared or not, you may feel less than your best if being perfect is your goal.  Not only will you stop yourself from starting but you may start and never finish if you are attempting an impossible route to get things done.

Focus on reducing your self doubt and highlighting your ability to make the most of what you have.  You may discover both in your tasks and your mental resolve you are more prepared than you think.

#5 You’re Not Actually Procrastinating

How are you worried about procrastinating and at the same time not procrastinating?

When someone else decides to label you a procrastinator when you clearly feel that you are not. 

  • When are you going to get married – your mom says
  • Why haven’t you started your paper yet – your overachieving roommate asks
  • How are you comfortable in that go nowhere job – your partner nags

Despite your innate desire to go at your own pace, you seem to always find someone who finds issue with the pace you’re going. 

But the key thing to remember is to honor what is yours.

Every suggestion, observation, and even nagging intrusion is not necessarily coming from a bad place.  More often than not a very well-meaning person in your life who cares about your well-being is attempting to help.

But when you start to internalize their view instead of trusting your own, you may find that you have labeled yourself a procrastinator.

You Don’t Have to Beat Procrastination if You That’s Not What You Do

Removing your procrastinator label may take some courage, but the steps are clear.  Honor yourself by owning your own life decisions. And honor others by respectfully asking that they start honoring your life decisions.

While everyone is welcome to have their own opinion, do not let anyone else’s opinion to define who you are.


You may be worried about procrastination but, really, you shouldn’t be.  While you may have hesitations, they may be there to serve you to be more self aware . Take inventory of any internal obstacles on your path, your true feelings about what must be done, and whether not you are the right person for the job.

The best way to beat procrastination is to decide if you actually own that you are. You may have just mislabeled a deeper issue.

Share this post with someone you know it could help today. Or if you know reasons why procrastination is not a problem, share it in the Comments section.

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YouTube Influencers You’ll Love that Help Make Household Management Easy

YouTube Influencers You’ll Love that Help Make Household Management Easy

You don’t have to be a YouTube influencer to prove your mastery of household management but these YouTube influencers definitely have gained real social proof!

Social media has exploded with influencers of all types and many are bona fide experts in their respective fields.

Many people have the opinion that the depth of their expertise is real because it’s live for you to see in action and it comes across genuinely from the heart.

These well-practiced household organizers, decorators, caretakers, and more are genuinely living the life that they portray through their social media channels.

At a time when many women find themselves balancing personal care, household management, childcare, work, and personal relationships every single day, having a little bit of expert influence on holding it all together can be critical.

This is my personal go-to list of YouTube influencers, broken down by area of expertise, that have been most impactful to my daily life. You may find them incredibly useful for yours too:

Family Meal Planning


This fitness-focused, happily married mom of 4 has been in my kitchen for a few years now and I find her entertaining, REAL, and informative.

Her real-life expertise is in a variety of subjects:

  • Budget-friendly grocery planning
  • Freezer meals and prepared meal planning
  • Family, couples, and single-person meal planning
  • Kitchen tool recommendations
  • Homemade bread and other baked goods making
  • Being a hysterically fun mom!

Even if I don’t make what she conjures up with her seemingly effortless rummage through her pantry and fridge, I love watching her do it.

She seems to master any low-budget challenge, but also keeps to the fundamentals of pleasing her family with their favorites. I mean, she may be trying to entertain the world, but her family still has to eat!

While she has tons of videos, I particularly love this classic where she goes through a frugal meal plan for one person. I believe it gives an excellent snapshot of her genuine and caring personality, her informative and resourceful nature, as well as her talent for pulling a meal together in the clutch.

(Sometimes I keep her videos just running while I cook for just pure entertainment value and fun company!)

Home Organization


I stumbled into heaven when I found this channel. And because my house seems to birth paper, mismatched socks, random toiletries, kitchen tools, and all types of clutter like a bunny rabbit, I needed some household management and declutter expertise to get my life in order.

Cassandra (or Cass – since she has been broadcasting through my living room for years now, I feel I can call her that) is a Canadian decluttering genie. And she has perfected her process so much so that she actually went big time and got a show on HGTV (!) called Hot Mess House.

But again, I, virtually, knew her back when.

And genuinely have had life-changing organizational improvement as a result.

She fits my YouTube watching standards of being Real, informative, and entertaining.

But what I love is that she is practical and flexible in her solutions.

She has even given little precious buggy categories to your organizational type to help you find your way to your personal cozy, homey, organized system just for you. But rather than give you that whole breakdown, I will just encourage you check it out for yourself and find your organization style.

Here is an example of her real-life expertise of household management through order and decluttering that will give you real insights to her skill. Selfishly, I am sharing her review of the Ladybug style of organization because, well, this is totally me!

(Oh, and one more tip. If you want to really hurt your face laughing, stay to the very end of her videos. More times than not she has a hilarious real-life story to share that is absolutely priceless!!)

Daily Household Management


A home cleaning and organization channel may not be your entertainment of choice for binging on a Saturday afternoon, but when I watch Hamimommy, I am in pure bliss!

I am not sure if it is how she makes household management look like a dream.

The ASMR-quality of every single movement through her home.

Or the pleasant music that she adds from time to time for just a bit of variation in the symphony of sharing her life.

I just love watching her!!!

And what I also love is that even if I don’t have time to read her captions, I can learn from her just in her doing.

(But don’t be fooled. There is magic in her captions.)

Not only is she thorough and thoughtful in what she does and how well it works for her in her daily processes, but she is also extremely transparent.

This transparency in her household management methods allows you to learn from her mistakes and grow with her when trying other options. Priceless!

This channel reviews all elements of life, cooking, cleaning, home repair, childcare, husband care, all of it. And it is simply beautiful as well as her lovely home.

In fact, I do not think words do this artwork of homelife captured on video justice. And if you don’t believe me, just watch:

Let’s just pause as I get more and more excited going through this list of gurus!

You will find no other article like this on my site, at least not at the moment. Because this is not my usual writing style.

But I am sharing these champions like a proud family member, and it is because they ARE like family. I truly watch, follow, subscribe and listen to their advice like I actually know them. #facts

So let’s continue….

DIY Household Management & Organization


Kathyrn is a joy and the official Dollar Tree aficionado.

Because of her, I have a whole new respect for what I can do with every dollar I spend.

Kathryn is a married mom of 2. And I have followed her long enough to watch her family grow, her residence change, and for her to apply all of her DIY expertise throughout all the changes.

Her areas of expertise include:

  • Budget-friendly organization
  • DIY household organization and decor
  • Small space organization
  • Kitchen organization
  • Child’s room organization
  • Pretty much every room organization
  • Low-cost meals
  • Look-a-like, budget-friendly DIY projects

While Do It on a Dime covers many different stores, thrift items, and repurposing of household goods, the pillar of education and resource comes from her Dollar Tree knowledge.

Watch her Dollar Tree content for a solid day and you will feel like you earned a diploma on the subject.

What is uniquely special is that Kathyrn has genuinely lived life as a mom on a budget, helping her family and her friends with doing the most with just a little. And she takes the time to create options and outcomes that, while inexpensive, look stylish and trendy.

You never feel that you have to settle for discount but instead that you made style for a discount! (I need to copyright that lol).

Here is one of her classic videos that I believe well demonstrates the layers of details, resourcefulness, and creativity that she shares all the time:

Household Cleaning


When trying to figure out your way in all the things that make you a mom, it’s nice to see a good mom in action and feel inspired.

That is the experience with Amanda as she opens her home and all the real-life breakdowns and clean-ups that come in the process.

Her channel covers all the details of household management like home projects, home organization, and room decor.

But my binge of choice is her Clean With Me videos. All the rage on YouTube, I only watch Amanda. And it is with good reason.

  • Her music selection is soothing or softly upbeat enough to run in the background while you’re cleaning away

  • She offers intermittent commentary sharing her day-to-day challenges and ideas for real problem resolution

  • She has a variety of Clean with Me videos that also include meals, seasonal decor, or household management routines. It leaves you feeling like you are learning as you go, like a really, really good best-selling audiobook

Here is a sample of the best of what This Crazy Life has to offer when you need a cleaning buddy and so, so, so much more:


Household management can be overwhelming. Finding help along the way to make it easier, manageable, and achievable can be life-changing.

This list of YouTube influencers are genuine, real people, who share themselves, their homes, their families, and their expertise all from the heart. Each of them are invaluable for what they know and share but also are remarkably incredible people whose kindness, warmth, and I’m-in-it-with-you-ness shines through. Even Hamimommy whose voice you don’t even hear (just another reason why she is so amazing)!

Spend some time with these wonderful individuals and take your household management systems and routines to the next level. Or find your own influencing guru that fits your lifestyle and expert resource needs.

Search and enjoy being influenced in a meaningful and positive way. YouTube is an awesome resource full of awesome people to love and with lots to share.

If you are looking for other ways to improve the place you call home, check out these posts:

7 Tips for Creating a Home Sanctuary That Feels Amazing

Home Organization Affirmations for When You Don’t Feel Like Organizing

Do you have team favorites that help you keep your home in order? If so, please share your recommended favorites in the Comments below.

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6 Methods on How to Use a Planner After You’ve Given Up and Thrown Away the One You Had

6 Methods on How to Use a Planner After You’ve Given Up and Thrown Away the One You Had

Get a planner is the organizers’ anthem on how to stay organized.

But somehow this simple solution did not work for you.

You picked one that looked good to you or you got one as a gift. And you really committed to getting your act together with it.

Try as you may, it only became another piece of clutter in your house and, next thing you know, you’re basically over it.

You put a few alarms and calendar events in your phone and decided that you will just muddle through your other chaos as usual.

This does not have to be your life. You can learn how to plan effectively and how to use a planner effectively. But the key is to learn instead of picking up a random planner and believing it will work like magic for you.

Throw away that planner that never worked anyway. And read these tips on how to use a planner when starting fresh:

#1 DECIDE: What parts of your life require documented organization?

A planner specifically is a tool structured for documentation.

In order to be an effective tool, your planner must serve you well to document the parts of your life that are unorganized and that you want to make organized.

If your planner does not solve this fundamental problem, you likely will not use it, or at least not well.

A common planner will include a calendar and space for monthly, weekly, and daily goals.

This structure can be applied to almost anything, from your broad daily life to a specific subject, such as your formal studies, extra-curricular activities, or travel.

Alternatively, you may choose to select a planner for a specific project or subject.

how to use a planner

Planners exist for things like weddings, event planning, childcare and entertainment, or work.  

These types of specialty planners may include special lists and prompts to trigger more extensive thought on the subject(s).   

Because of their customized structure, specialty planners can be of particular help because they are perfectly suited for the task at hand with minimal need for adjustments.

No matter what planner you choose, decide first on what your ultimate goal is for its use. 

This should occur well before purchase, download, or installation.

Or you likely will have one more piece of clutter lending to your disorganization.

Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now

alan lakein

#2 CHOOSE: What planner style is your style?

You may think that it is a minor point, but a planner that matches your style compliments you more than just in its look.

The most common issue people have when starting to plan is that they do not use their planner.  That said, any additional incentive that you can use to keep your planner in mind is worth consideration.

Planners come in all types of materials, colors, and sizes. 

Even the weight of a planner will have an impact on whether or not you will carry it with you everywhere you go or only use it when sitting at your desk. 

Consider that style will affect whether or not you:

  • Use it at work due to its formality or lack of formality
  • Carry it with you because of its size
  • Open it or store things in it regularly because of its durability
  • Use pen, pencil, or marker in it because of its pages, and more

It may seem like a lot of detail to put into a planner selection. 

But in reality, any and all of these components can lead to a planner being ineffective or simply unused.

Before committing to a particular planner, it is worth considering your style and the planner that will match it.

Strategic planning is worthless – unless there is first a strategic vision


#3 COMMIT: Do you have a plan on how to use a planner regularly?

Another consideration in your planner selection and process is when you will use your planner. 

No matter if your planner is meant for daily use or regular use on special occasion, you want to ensure that you use it every time it is needed.

Your planner should be stationed wherever you have any other materials related to your organization of the subject.

how to use a planner for beginners

If your planner is for daily use, then you may want to have it at your desk, in your workbag or purse, or on your nightstand.

For infrequent but specialty use, your planner storage may simply be a special drawer or shelf in your home or office.

The critical point is that the location lends to remembering the planner’s presence and encourages its use.  And most importantly you are committed to both remembering and using it when you need to so that you stay organized.

A good rule of thumb is to keep a regular schedule related to using your planner, reviewing its contents, and updating its content. 

Same times and same places tend to get the routine engrained in your life well.

Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort

paul j. meyer

#4 SET-UP: Do you have a place to plan?

In addition to storing your planner for use, you should also create a space conducive to planning.

Yes, it actually matters. 

Planning in a space that is full of chaos, clutter, and distraction will likely lead to a poor process of creating order. 

This does not mean that your space needs to be flawless, but it should be organized enough so that your mind is not pulled from your task of planning.

To use a planner effectively, you want to attempt to record as much detail as is valuable on the subject you intend to keep organized. 

Distractions that lead to interrupted thought and inconsistent documenting will likely lead to an ineffective planning process.

Location, location, location is everything for a reason and it even applies to creating an effective planning process.

Plan for what it is difficult while it is easy, do what is great while it is small

sun tzu

#5 DOCUMENT: Are your top priorities going into your planner?

To feel in better control of your life, you may be drawn to the idea of documenting every little detail in your planner.

If you have time to do this and it serves you well, then document, document, document.

However, more often than not, the practice of over-documenting leads to a labor-intensive process. 

This then leads to an inconsistent practice in what you record or a total lack of use of your planner altogether.

It may sound fun to use every piece and part of what your planner has to offer. 

Or you may be called to utilize every suggestion you have heard regarding planning. 

In reality, less is more. 

Choose the most critical priorities and the most frequently missed details and ensure you have a plan around keeping on top of them. 

You can then decide if you have time or room for anything else.

Be a selective sifter of all the data you take in every day and try not to clutter the very tool that is meant to keep you organized.

If you are putting anything more in your planner than what you had planned to record when you bought it, then you should seriously consider if it really needs to be documented at all.

The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done… you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do

lil wayne

#6 EVALUATE: Before you throw out another one, do you know how to use a planner effectively?

A planner is effective when you say it is.  No other input is more valuable than your own.

It is important to be honest with yourself. however, and determine if the planner is faulty or if it is user error. 

Did you purchase the right planner for your needs?

Are you using the planner regularly?

Evaluate the tips in this post and see if you may need to reassess your effective planning strategy. 

You may need to pick another tool or method to master your planning.

Also, consider if a planner is really the best method to solve your organization problems. 

While planners are a common solution suggested by many, they do not work for everyone.

Bottomline, do not force the process. 

If you have set yourself up well, selected well, and put an honest effort into regular use of your planner and still do not see results, it may be time for a totally new solution.

But if the planner has helped even in small ways, you may want to adjust for improvement where you can and keep moving forward.

Effective planning is definitely a circumstance where practice can make perfection in a planning process meaningful to you.

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail

benjamin franklin


Not everyone knows exactly how to use a planner even when they already have one.

The process may not be as simple as it looks. Before you decide that a planner will solve all of your organizing needs, take time to consider what specific needs you have.

Commit to the right planner, the right space, and even the right times to use your planner. And then embark on the journey to see if your decisions actually worked. With the right success plan in place, you may find that using a planner is a whole lot more effective than you originally thought.

Looking for more tools to make your life feel a little more balanced, subscribe to our newsletter today!

And if you have any suggestions for using a planner effectively, please share them in the Comments section below.

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7 Things You Should NEVER Do If You Actually Want a Good Morning Routine

7 Things You Should NEVER Do If You Actually Want a Good Morning Routine

A good start of the day morning routine is worth your weight in gold if you can find one and keep it.

Problem is that there are so many choices, recommendations for best practice, and just so much to do. And taking in all that data can be completely overwhelming.

If you want to start a new morning routine and get the most out of it you may want to take a different direction.

Instead of trying to see what you can add to your morning, it may be time to look at what you can eliminate.

Some things you should actually NEVER DO!

If you can stop even one bad morning habit that you have and turn it around for the better, you may see that your morning routine was already in a pretty good place.

You just need the right tweak to make it a great morning routine.

Take a look at this list of morning routine no-no’s and start your day better:

Please note that this post contains affiliate or referral links where I receive a commission should you make a purchase from the vendor. This does not result in any increased cost to you as the consumer.

1. Stop Starving Yourself

Not every person is hungry in the morning. 

Many people will intentionally fast for a certain number of hours before they take their first meal of the day.

You may have heard the word breakfast interpreted as “break fast” or a means of breaking the fasting period from one meal to the next.

That said, a “morning” meal is not critical to health, energy, or a good routine. But the importance of breakfast is well established.  

Eating when your body requires it and eating well helps to improve your cognitive abilities, maintain your physical health, and boost your energy. 

These are all key components that will contribute to you having a productively good day.

Your morning meal may not happen as soon as you wake up. 

But be sure to prepare and have food available for whenever your first meal of the day should occur for you.

If you are looking to be both quick and healthy, then you may want to explore on-the-go snacks or frozen meals that you can heat up and then keep running. Thrive Market is an online food market that offers tons of healthy, organic, sustainable food options for all types of diets like Paleo, Vegan, Keto and more.

You don’ have to be on a speciality diet to enjoy their food, but it does give you a much better option than poor quality food or no food at all! Use my link for a discount to check them out first-hand.

No matter what you decide is the right meal for you, eating right is the best option for you. Starving yourself regularly can lead to fatigue, decreased mental clarity, and making poor food choices just to get by. 

So it’s best not to make no food a practice if you want a good morning routine.

2. Don’t Move Before Your Body is Actually Ready to Move

Being stiff and sluggish in your movement after sleeping can happen to anybody.

But not every body can just spring into motion when in this condition.

If you sense that your body really rejects taking on your weight as you rise from bed or is particularly achy while you walk to the bathroom, maybe it’s time to consider other options.

Morning stretching or even a morning yoga routine can go a long way to support the start of your day. 

And it doesn’t have to take more than 5 or 10 minutes in your schedule.

Allowing your muscles to wake up and building flexibility in your joints, just makes movement better.

A good morning routine is likely better with a good stretching routine.

3. Stop Trying to Multi-Task

Multi-tasking, or the art of fooling yourself into thinking that you are doing many things simultaneously, can prove to be a bad habit any time of day.

After you first wake up, it’s even more of a fool’s game.

Your brain does have the capacity to transition focus rapidly and even to set certain tasks to an almost auto-pilot state. 

However, the more things that you give your attention, the less attention any one thing gets.

This equates to a lot of movement AND a lot of poor execution.

Make a habit of eliminating as many tasks as possible out of your morning. 

Keep your start of day super simple.

Instead of starting a brand new practice of meditating, yoga, journaling, walking, AND making smoothies, try 1 new thing and keep everything else the same.

Doing too many things and doing too many things at once, can be the absolute opposite of a good morning routine.

4. Stop Doing Things That Make You Lose Track of Time

Time is precious, particularly in the morning.

The last thing that you would want to do is to lose the precious time that you have.

However, there are tons of things that can easily get you distracted.  And they change depending on who you are and where your interests lie. 

Examine and then eliminate your time killers in the morning.  It could be cellphone alerts, your work email, the morning news, or even your kids’ cartoons. 

Before you know it you have become so engrossed in this one thing (or several) that you no longer have time for what’s truly important.

Rushing, running, and scrambling are all components of a terrible morning and an unproductive start to your day.

A good morning routine gives time to the tasks that are key to starting off your day well in a seamless, organized way.

5. Stop Prepping EVERYTHING in the Morning

Another time killer is attempting to prep everything that you need in the morning actually in the morning.

Now, morning prep can happen if you have put the time in your schedule to accommodate this. However, you are also taking the risk that your plan is executed flawlessly every day.

The mother of a family should look upon her housekeeping and the planning of meals as a scientific occupation.

eleanor roosevelt

An alternative option for heavy morning prepping is to plan in advance. 

This does not have to only occur the night before, though this is at least a start.

Clothes can be ironed days in advance, hung, and ready for whenever you want to wear them. Meals can be prepped ahead and placed in the fridge, frozen for reheating, or entail a bowl of grab-and-go fruit and healthy snacks.

School bags and work bags can be packed and readied on a Friday night and left in a ready-to-go space until Monday.

You can even make a morning routine toiletry caddy with your full-body prepping materials. 

Basic items like toothpaste may not need special attention.  But think of things that somehow get lost that you can’t afford to lose like deodorant, lotion, hair ties, or even your favorite perfume.

Make your morning routine seamless by prepping ahead for your day or your week and feel more in control of your mornings.

6. Stop Thinking You Can Muscle Through Too Little Sleep

Sleep is an important part of your morning routine. Most time you don’t even want to start your morning without it.

Alarms, kids, and pets aside, ideally you want to wake up all on your own, refreshed and ready to start the day.

Build a sleep routine the night before that is meant to support your morning routine. Being well rested makes the simple task of getting out of bed easier. 

It can also provide you with a more optimistic outlook on your day instead of regretting having to leave your bed.

Even if you have reasons outside of your control such as your own health condition or a sick wakeful child that disrupts your sleeping pattern, take ownership of exploring ways to improve your sleeping ritual.

You want to be your best for yourself and for anyone else that you support in your life. 

Start your morning routine with great momentum towards your goals by building a solid sleep routine.

7. Stop Losing Your Essentials

Does your morning start with a full house overhaul searching for your keys?

Did you somehow miss your first morning meeting because you spent 30 minutes searching for your child’s homework before you left the house?

Not only do you lose time but you can slowly start losing your mind when missing critical pieces are a part of your morning routine.

Likely every other suggestion in this post can assist with rectifying this issue.

But even if you do nothing else, take 5 minutes to consider all the things you may have misplaced, lost, or even accidentally destroyed in the last month and vow to never have it happen again.

Special things, important things, critical things all deserve a home.

                        Special things, important things, critical things all deserve a home!

Decide ONE place for important things to go and ensure anything labeled as “important” gets put there immediately.

This action accomplishes two things:

1) you know where to put the important things and

2) you know where to look for important things. 

When you are first building this practice, put an important thing that you don’t regularly lose in the special spot. This will train your brain to use the “important things” location all the time. 

If you plan on having many things, big and small, or everyone in the house’s things in one spot, make sure your location can easily accommodate necessary space needs.

But don’t make 100 different places! 

Only ONE place and only ONE process:  All Important Things GO HERE!

Create an Important Things space in your home and eliminate the morning frenzy from your morning routine.


There are many things that you can do to create a good morning routine, but sometimes it’s easier to stop doing a thing.

Streamline your morning routine by reducing unnecessary actions, prepping what you can, and catering to your body so it is ready for your day ahead.

The big goal is to do less and focus on the most critical objectives that start off your day the best.

Your morning routine is important so eliminate anything that isn’t important and elevate your day.

Looking for more ways to make life feel a little more in balance, Subscribe for our newsletter today! Have you discovered the key to your sanity but eliminating something from your morning?? Share it in the Comments section. We all can use a new idea to have a good morning routine!

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7 Tips for Creating a Home Sanctuary That Feels Amazing

7 Tips for Creating a Home Sanctuary That Feels Amazing

Is your daily life starting to become anything but an amazing experience? It may be time to invest in creating a home sanctuary that symbolizes exactly how you would prefer to feel.

When it seems like the whole world needs a change for the better, it may be better to start with what you can change.

Your home.

Make your home into a home sanctuary and find a place that you find amazing and look forward to experiencing every day.

What Exactly is a Sanctuary?

home sanctuary defines sanctuary in two ways.  One is as “a consecrated place”.  In this way, the space is looked at as one that is sacred, holy, and deemed for a special purpose.

Another definition is “a place of refuge and protection”. From this perspective, the inhabitants are otherwise exposed to negative experiences or people, and a sanctuary provides a respite from this exposure.

In both ways, a sanctuary can provide a place for its guest to be brought to a safe place of peace, calm, and opportunity for an elevated point of being. 

A sanctuary is a special place of focus, care, and healing.

So Why is a Home Sanctuary Important?

making your bathroom your home sanctuary

Your home sanctuary is important because it serves to honor you, protect you, and elevate your state of being with peace and internal harmony.

When you designate space and regular intention to restore yourself and realign with your center, you

  • Create a healthier mental state and mindset
  • Promote a more peaceful emotional state of being, and
  • Influence an improved condition of your physical body

When you use your home, or a space within it, as your home sanctuary, you are inviting all these benefits of wholeness and centeredness into your daily life.

The result is easily an amazing experience.

You are surrounding yourself with an emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy environment specially curated by you.

Where Do I Begin to Create a Home Sanctuary?

your home sanctuary can be anywhere, even on your outside balcony

An important first step in creating your home sanctuary is to determine the exact space you will designate as your sanctuary.

This can be your entire home.  Or, if this is too much of an undertaking, you can use a certain room or even a corner of a room.

The amount of space is not as important as the designation of a specific space that will be retained for your sacred purpose.

Each of us has an inner room where we can visit to be cleansed of fear-based thoughts and feelings. This room, the holy of holies, is a sanctuary of light.

Marianne Williamson

Once you have defined the space to be used, here are some tips:

How to maintain your sanctuary’s elevated purpose

  • Regularly refer to the space as your sanctuary.  Naming your space is claiming your space.  It reinforces that you have redefined its purpose differently than what it was before.  If you reside with others, remind them to also honor this space as special and sacred to you.
  • Keep your home sanctuary neat and orderly.  Regular use of any space can lead to clutter and disorganization.  However, keeping your space in its best form demonstrates your honoring of its bigger purpose. 

Also, viewing clutter and messiness tends to keep your mind overly active on needing to take action.  Eliminate clutter from your view. Even doing so temporarily (i.e. covering it up!) allows the mind to calm and slip easier into relaxation.

  • Determine your intended use of the space.  If your home sanctuary is your entire home, create an inviting, calming, or invigorating atmosphere in every room. 

If you have designated a room or specific space, reserve creating a special atmosphere in that location only.  

  • Decide how often you will visit your sanctuary. Will you intentionally schedule time in your space every day or use it as a respite when you have had particularly tough days? There is no required frequency. Just ensure that it is always ready to receive you for its intended purpose.

No matter what space you designate as your home sanctuary, consider the entire space and the state of being you intend to have once you are within it.  

Choose soothing colors, pleasant décor, and even adjust the temperature to ensure that you are comfortable. The goal is to regularly feel welcomed by the space when creating a home sanctuary.

7 Tips for an Amazing Home Sanctuary

#1 Dress in Honor of Your Sanctuary

woman wears long flowing robe honoring her home sanctuary

Often when people enter a sacred place, they will come wearing special garments that serve to honor and recognize it with reverance.

You may choose to adopt this practice.

Wear special clothing to remind you that you have created your home sanctuary with special intentions.

Honor your sanctuary simply by immediately changing your clothes once you arrive home from work.  Envision that you are removing the stresses of the day and embracing the love and relaxation of your home.

Make a daily practice to bath, put on your most relaxing clothes, and then visit your sanctuary immediately after. 

Imagine that you have washed away anything that did not serve you in your day. 

Your clothing then symbolizes the first step towards you covering yourself with all things that lead to you becoming whole again.   

#2 Incorporate the Benefits of Sound Healing

singing bowls create relaxation and healing in your home sanctuary

Sound healing or sound therapy uses sound as a means to improve physical and mental health and well-being. 

Try different variations and instruments for sound and see what form promotes a sense of personal healing for you.

Regular practice of sound healing can elevate the effectiveness of your home sanctuary by creating peace and balance.

Explore sound through instruments

Singing bowls have been used since ancient times for ceremony and healing. 

Depending upon their size and method of use, you can generate soft or very intense sound waves that fill the space substantially.  The effects of using singing bowls as a means of sound therapy can include a reduction in stress and anxiety or improved mood.    

Wind chimes are whimsical, light-sounding instruments that can be used inside or outside of your home.

Any movement of air will cause the chimes to sound, so don’t feel limited to only outside wind. 

When choosing the right wind chime for your space, test before you buy. As they each sing a melody with every air blown, choose a melody that inspires calm and relaxation in you.

Tuning forks are handheld instruments that you can use to create a sound of a certain frequency. 

tuning forks create healing energy in your home sanctuary

Unweighted tuning forks are best when you look to create a more audible sound. 

Strike your fork to initiate your relaxation practice in your sanctuary. Or strike them walking through your space to cleanse stress or the unwanted energy from the atmosphere.

You can also gently move the forks all around your body as a means of cleansing yourself with sound.

Use music to enrich your experience

Playing relaxing music is a common method of introducing sound healing to your home sanctuary. 

Incorporate your connection with nature by playing sounds of ocean waves or singing birds.

Envoke a sense of ceremony and sacred presence by playing Gregorian chanting .

Use any music that is pleasing to you such as instrumentals, soft jazz, or your favorite love songs. 

Your choice of music is endless and is beest applied when it inspires a lifted feeling for you.

Affirmation music is a specific form of sound healing that blends positive words and intentional affirmation with pleasing music. 

In the growing arena of affirmation music, there are many artists to choose from such as Toni Jones, Beautiful Chorus, or Mayestra. These artist blend thoughtful, high-vibration lyrics with penetrating music.

Try any of these forms of sound healing or auditory stimulation to enhance your home sanctuary environment.

#3 Use Visual Stimulation to Create Calm and Focus

beautiful visual elements make your bedroom a home sanctuary

You can create a home sanctuary mood based on how you decorate your space.

  • Hang pictures or place photos of serene, nature-filled views. 
  • Post affirmations or quotes that remind you of the state of being you choose to regularly possess.
  • Surround your space with family photos that spark joy and recall pleasant memories.

Candles can also be an excellent visual stimulus for your space. 

Not only can you decorate with beautiful candles that are visually pleasing.  But you can also light your candle and use its flame to practice attentive focus.  

candles and fragrant herbs are perfect for your home sanctuary

Candle gazing is a meditative practice that helps increase your attention and awareness. This can train your ability to release unwanted thoughts by practicing mindfulness on intentional positive thoughts.

#4 Take an Opportunity for Positive Reflection

Creating a home sanctuary will often include reserved quiet time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings.

You receive thoughts and opinions about your life from others every day. But it is even more important to explore your own interpretations. Give yourself the space for this internal exploration.

  • Create a serene environment free of noise, alarms, ring tones, or alerts
  • Inform others in the home of your need for quiet and no distractions
  • Use your time to reflect intentionally on the positives within your day. What happened that was important to you? How was your day pleasing or memorable?
  • Challenge yourself with ways you could have improved your day if things did not go well
  • Reflect on how you could see or approach things differently to create positive out of perceived negative events

Seeing your day and interpreting its meaning to you can provide you with more insight. 

With this insight, you can choose different actions in the future.

Feel empowered to purposefully create more pleasing moments and overall focus on an elevated sense of being.

use your home sanctuary as a quiet space to journal

Using a journal can serve as a means to record your thoughts, feelings, and insights.

Capture learnings and patterns in your thoughts and behavior that would otherwise go unseen.

If you find using a journal difficult or foreign, use journaling prompts to assist with the self-exploration process. See this post on using journal prompts for self worth as an example.

Practice positive self-reflection daily. It will attune your sense of optimism and positivity with life within your mind and when interacting with the outside world.

#5 Meditate

meditate in your home sanctuary

Meditation has become a commonly referred to practice for achieving improved well-being. 

It is said to improve relaxation and focus, reduce anxiety, reduce stress, and stimulate creative ability.

If you have not explored meditation before, it can be difficult to sit in quiet and remove all thoughts.

There are different tools that can assist with learning the meditative process.

  • Guided meditation is a form of meditation where a skilled practitioner guides you through the meditative process. You will listen and follow their words and phrases to help quiet and clear your mind.  Your guide may also instruct you to bring positive images and situations to mind as a form of relaxation.
  • Sound machines or meditative music can be used to provide a point of focus.  When focusing on these sounds intently, you will abandon other thoughts and more easily reach a meditative state.

As with all things, meditation takes practice and developing your own personal form to do it well. Your home sanctuary can be a perfect place to develop your discipline and perfect your practice.

#6 Reprogram Your Mindset

Use your home sanctuary as a place to reset negative thought patterns or a negative self-talk habit.

  • Use affirmations to build a practice of positive word patterns in place of your otherwise unproductive thinking. defines affirmation as “a brief phrase which is spoken again and again….to plant seeds of happy and positive notions, conceptions, and attitudes into one’s psyche”. Regular use of affirmations is thought to create new thought patterns thereby increasing positive speech, actions and interpretations.
  • Mala beads or japamala are another means of creating new thought patterns and improving your mindset.  These beads can support you to be more methodical, organized, and intentional with the repeating of words, prayers, or mantras for better well-being.  
Use mala beads in your home sanctuary

Mala beads can serve as a compliment to your affirmation or positive thought regimen. 

You can use your mala beads as a means to encourage positive repetition. You can create a ceremonious practice by restating your words at the touch of each bead on the strand.

#7 Perform a Relaxation Ritual

use your home sanctuary to perform your relaxation ritual

The act of ritual is to create a consistent and repeated set of actions for a defined purpose.  

Creating a relaxation ritual within your home sanctuary brings purpose to your space. It also sets an intention of relaxation in performing the corresponding actions.

Any of the suggestions throughout this post can be combined to create your relaxation ritual.

As example, you can

  1. Take a relaxing bath
  2. Adorn yourself with a robe or special garments
  3. Enter your home sanctuary space
  4. Light a candle
  5. Meditate to clear your mind
  6. Journal for 5 minutes to note any positive impressions
  7. Say a positive affirmation while using your mala beads
  8. Strike a tuning fork to close your relaxation ritual

With purpose defined and taking specific actions, you have created a relaxation ritual.

Elevate your practice by adding sacred elements to the process

Choose the perfect tools for your relaxation ritual
  • Dedicate certain soaps or bathing salts for your cleansing
  • Use a particular scent or color for your candle
  • Choose a particular form of meditation
  • Find a special journal or writing utensil for your journaling practice
  • Use a pillow or chair specifically for your ritual or practice

Your home sanctuary should feel like a relaxation ritual itself. And the actions you take within it can further engrain its purpose into your daily life.


When the stress and anxiety of day-to-day life weigh too heavily on your shoulders, creating a home sanctuary can be a much-needed means to replenish yourself and your spirit.

A home sanctuary is a designated space that is meant to protect you from unwanted interactions and provide you with a space for calm, relaxation, and healing.  With regular use and engaging in practices supporting this goal, you will experience life benefits that expand well beyond the walls of your home. And you will feel amazing!

Looking for more ways to improve how you feel every day?  Take a look at these posts or subscribe today to receive the latest on Work Life Balance:

If you have discovered ways to live life better not covered in this post, please share for everyone to learn in the Comments section below.   

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The Practical Guide on How to Improve Your Work Life Balance Today

The Practical Guide on How to Improve Your Work Life Balance Today

Are you looking for methods of how to improve your work life balance quickly and consistently? 

Do you have a definition of balance that works for you today?

Let’s take a closer look at what defines work life balance, whether or not it really exists, and if so, how you can make it a part of your daily living.

What is Work Life Balance?

The Cambridge Dictionary defines work-life balance as “the amount of time you spend doing your job compared with the amount of time you spend with your family and doing things you enjoy”.   

The practical definition of work life balance will fluctuate for each individual based on several factors.  These factors can include

  • the type of job that you hold
  • the level of responsibility and demands from your job
  • the amount of time required to work
  • the personal importance of your job to you

  • the priority of family and family time in your life
  • the size, structure, and needs of your family
  • your personal preferences for how you want to live

These are just a sample of the different perspectives and details of your life that can contribute to your definition of work life balance. 

There are thousands of different circumstances, expectations, and requirements around work and personal life that can impact your definition of balance.

And for this reason, the subject of work life balance is completely unique and customized based on you.

Additionally, while the Cambridge Dictionary focuses its definition on the balance between work and family, there are other components of life balance that can be impacted by the time you spend on your work.  This may include your:

  • physical health
  • spiritual health
  • personal time with yourself
  • time to connect with friends

  • time to contribute to the community
  • continued education
  • time to explore hobbies or entertainment
  • ability to manage your household, finances, and other components of self-sustainability

For some, you could easily exchange any of these subjects in place of family as part of the work life balance. 

And for many, you seek to juggle all of these subjects and work, and possibly even more.

We each only have 24 hours each day. 

And each day it becomes a bigger and bigger focus of our attention to feel that we are spending adequate time with all of the things that are important to us in our lives. 

Ultimately the goal is to feel fulfilled.  Work life balance in its best form serves to provide this personal fulfillment.

Why is Balance Important?

Woman with family with no work life balance

Work life balance is important just as living in balance is important.

Even if you do not work, a balanced life is an important achievement. 

The goal is to ensure that all things important in your life receive the time and attention that you deem as required. And in providing the time and attention required, you feel personally fulfilled, happy, or well-sustained.

  • Spending time at a job you enjoy and where you feel that your contribution matters may be personally fulfilling. 

  • When you are engaged in caring for yourself, spending time with family, or serving your community, you may feel happy. 

  • Paying your bills, making repairs on your home, or performing car maintenance may keep your life sustained. 

And managing your time to attend to all of these subjects is an example of work life balance.

In this way, work life balance becomes important because you prioritize using the hours of your day doing what is important to you.

Truly showing up for your life and all of its different aspects can provide you a host of positive feelings and outcomes that defines what makes life worth living to you.

Work life balance is important because it contributes to and inspires the best part of living, including:

  • Personal well-being
  • Spiritual connection
  • Appreciation for others and life around you

  • Feelings of accomplishment, achievement, self-pride, and self-respect
  • Safety, stability, and a centered sense of self
  • Love and gratitude for the life that you are able to live

Work life balance may not be a priority for everyone, but for those who prioritize this subject, it is the positive outcomes that fuel the focus to achieve it.

Is Work Life Balance a Myth?

Work life balance is only a myth if you choose for it to be. 

Conversely, work life balance is real and achievable if you decide that it is what you want to have in your life.

As with many terms used to define our life and lifestyle, work life balance is another way to describe how all the pieces and parts of our life interact.  And more importantly how we want to feel in that interaction. 

In this way, the core part of work life balance is the inherent desire to experience the feeling of balance

how to improve work life balance

When interviewed by Business Insider in 2018 Jeff Bezos made comments regarding work life balance. 

Searching the internet, you will find many authors who have translated his words to indicate that work life balance is a myth.    

Jeff Bezos’ quote from the Business Insider website is as follows:

 “I get asked about work-life balance all the time.  And my view is, that’s a debilitating phrase because it implies that there’s a strict trade-off. And the reality is, if I am happy at home, I come into the office with tremendous energy.  And if I am happy at work, I come home with tremendous energy.  It actually is a circle; it’s not a balance. And I think that is worth everybody paying attention to it”.

This perspective shares one man’s vision of a more apt definition and understanding that fits his belief system. 

To abandon balance in exchange for a circle could be interpreted as abandoning the unachievable goal of absolute equal time between different parts of life and instead embracing an ever-connected, continuity of life.

Don’t Let Work Life Balance Become a Myth

To dispel the myth of work life balance, I think it is necessary to well-define the true meaning of balance as it applies to work and all other aspects of our life.  

It may be time to create a more accurate and achievable definition of work life balance.

Oxford Languages dictionary through Google search defines balance as “a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions”.

To apply this definition of balance to work life balance, it could be said that it is not the goal to achieve an equal distribution of time or focus on work and life.  Instead, the importance is in balancing in correct proportions.

The correct proportions equal balance. 

But as the architect of your own life, you define what a correct proportion is for all aspects of your life.

Therefore, work and all aspects of life blend together in continuity. Based on your personal needs and the parts of life that you care about you will apply attention in the proportion that you define as correct. 

You decide and apply your work life balance.

But, what does this look like in real-life application?

How does work life balance work for you?

Let’s look at an example of a problem faced when work life balance goes wrong and seek definition in its possible solution.

Work Life Balance Problem and Solution

Common Challenge: 

You have taken on a new job and unexpectedly have over-extended hours impacting your time with your family.

Solutions for Your Challenge

  • Evaluate what today is most important.  Are the requests of your new job reasonable and necessary or the result of poor planning?  Is the time missed with family critical at this time or simply inconvenient? Your job helps you to support your family and your family supports your personal well-being which contributes to you being a good employee.  Both are important for different reasons but only one can take center stage right now.

  • Communicate the value of starting strong at your new job to your employer and the value of quality time to your family, regardless of who gains or losses.  Both should know where you stand.  Also, both should be informed of the compromise to the other.  This is not sharing guilt but educating of what could be an unknown circumstance. Simply explaining the status can make either party part of the solution.

  • Create expectations. If you need to scale back on time to your new employer, be honest and upfront.  Discuss compromise and mutually beneficial solutions, clarify expectations, and be straight forward regarding your limitations.

If you need to scale back on family time, also be honest and upfront.  Be creative with ways to connect in absence of face-to-face contact.  Provide expectations of the length of time the new situation will last or develop plans for a long-term new family time schedule. 

  • Re-evaluate regularly to see that all parties’ needs are met, including your own.  In this case, both emotional and financial stability are important to your total well-being.  Achieving sustainable work life balance includes being flexible, adaptable, and attentive to the goal of balance both short- and long-term. Review to ensure that you are achieving the goal you seek.

There can be many resolutions to this challenge beyond these answers.

The goal is to define in your response the values that you hold and stay consistent in keeping them in the forefront.

Related Post: Are You Broken Because Your Life is Not Balanced?

How to Maintain Work Life Balance

I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles.

Zig Zigler

As with many subjects, the hope is to find the one answer that solves the problem.  

Many will say, if I gain what makes me happy, in this case work life balance, I don’t want to lose it.

How do I maintain my balance now that I have it?

Work life balance,

life balance,



everything and all forms of what we want come and go. 

Therefore, the way to maintain your balance is to enjoy when you have it and find peaceful acceptance that you will lose it. 

But do not feel defeated in losing the state of being that you want because it is able to be attained again.

Make Work Life Balance Attainable

Some methods that can make the process of the work life balance ebb and flow easier are to:

  • Settle your mind and focus on hope when you are challenged with a lack of balance.  Only with a steady mind can you achieve peace and develop solutions. Hope, or the knowing or expectation of a future positive outcome, creates a means to emotionally sustain yourself until a better experience comes.  Be consistent with both a steady mind and a hopeful spirit and you will sustain balance more often than not.

  • Re-evaluate based on current circumstances what is most important now.  Your life is filled with many things that are important to you.  But they cannot all take priority at once.  Be prepared for making the tough decision of what is most important now and put your time there. Build trust in yourself that even in the face of hard decisions, you move forward with your best intentions.  With the best intent and thoughtful reevaluation, you can create balanced decisions.

  • Learn and practice ways to reach calm.  Even if you are fueled by tense situations, you become calm once you focus on an objective.  If you become more frazzled and disorganized by chaotic and tense moments, it is even more important to find your calm.  This is best determined before a crisis of conscious or personal well-being comes.  Keep your calming tools and people close and practice using them when needed to maintain your balance.

  • Be planful.  Maintaining work life balance comes with avoiding creating your own imbalance.  Schedule time for what is important.  Rest well, eat well, and perform your tasks to the best of your ability.  Great self-care promotes great balance.  Know that you have your cycles and your moods.  You will not always feel your best, do your best, or be at your best.  Give yourself grace to be less and recognize this as being in balance too.  

  • Keep record of your strengths.  Whether you use a gratitude journal or a daily planner, keep a record of what goes well when you achieve work life balance.  Learn from your own successes.  This provides means to create repeatable processes.  And, also, a method to acknowledge and recognize your positive achievements when you have juggled everything successfully.  Work life balance is possible.  And showing yourself that you balance well is the best way to know with certainty that you have achieved and maintained work life balance.


Work life balance is attainable.  You choose your definition of work life balance and you grade yourself if you are successful in achieving it.

Examine what is most important in your life, give your time and attention where you see best fit, and have confidence that you are making the right choices to keep it all in balance.

Ultimately the goal is to live a life that is worth living, one where you are personally fulfilled, happy, and well-sustained.  You have the power to achieve this.  You need only to see that work life balance is a reality for you.

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How to Master Being in the Zone

How to Master Being in the Zone

No matter if you are a writer, an athlete, an artist, or a super mom, you know the benefits of being in the zone.

There is magic in the synchronicity of your knowing what you can do, what you want to do, and this invisible force moving through you to execute it all perfectly.

The rhythm of perfectly timed movements, the energetic spark of effortless ideas and innovation, or the seamlessly balanced juggle of 100 different things.  You feel in harmony at a soul level and it brings out the best in you.

This is being in the zone

And it is a means of experiencing your personal gifts and desires to their fullest.

But how do you harness this magic? 

How exactly do you get in the zone? 

And when you are particularly in need of this boost before a deadline, in midst of a challenge, or simply because you want it, how do you create flow?

Use these methods as a means to generate or recapture your flow state and get in the zone right when you need to.

Define Your Flow State

As with anything, it is hard to hit a target that you have not defined. 

When you want to get in the zone and gain access to your flow, start by defining exactly what that means to you.

How do you want to feel? 

In what way do you want synchronicity to occur…specifically?

Getting in the zone is synonymous with gaining your flow.

Flow is typically much more than the outcome, but a state of being that defines your journey.

State to yourself every word and emotion that you want to experience as part of your flow state.

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.

Oprah winfrey

Here are a couple of examples:

When you Think in Flow

  • You may feel ideas just seem to burst from the darkness. 
  • You can see concepts form and feel a certain rightness to your conclusions
  • Ah-ha moments repeat in what feels like rapid succession and an internal energy fuels you to feel that you are on the right track
  • There is an excitement that is generated as never-before-seen ideas come to fruition.

When you Create in Flow

  • You may experience the concepts of color, shape, definition, and curvature in all new ways
  • The subtle hues and vibrance that come with the congealing of new aspects, ratios, and directions can reinvigorate and create new meaning
  • It is as if your vision and creative idea is actually generating new life forms
  • And you are not only falling in love with the product of your creativity but with the creative process itself.

These are just examples of knowing what being in your flow state means to you and defining it with detail.

Use your words, ideas, or images to define the flow state target you seek to achieve.

Then use your own definition as a means to spark the outpour of flow at any moment you need it.

Supercharge Your Positive Emotions

Getting in the zone or being in flow is a feel-good moment.  Therefore, it is a much easier state to reach when you have feel-good momentum.

If your physical space or your headspace has you feeling negative, take intentional steps to make a positive change.

Create or listen to music playlists

  • Choose music that penetrates your mental state no matter what mood you are in and lifts you. 
  • Enveloping yourself with rhythm can bring you closer to feeling that everything around you is in rhythm with you and you with it. 
  • Let the energy of the melodies match the energy that defines flow state for you. 
  • Whether this is ease, high-energy, hard and intense, or soft and subtle, let your playlist become the musical score to your gifts in action.

Reaffirm your strengths to yourself

  • It is okay to compliment yourself and sometimes necessary to build confidence in your gifts. 
  • You know you can get in the zone when you trust that you can be in flow. 
  • Tell yourself what you do well and replay in your mind when you have excelled in your space before.
  • Become your own hype man (or woman) and let that confident energy propel you into your flow state.

Take in any form of nature that inspires you 

  • Take a walk. 
  • Bring cut flowers into your home. 
  • Invite yourself to a beautiful view from the tallest building or piece of land that you can get to. 
  • Be amazed by nature and let the opening of your heart invigorate your flow state into being.  Embracing the magnitude of life can often spark inspiration and ignite your flow state.

Practice your gift

  • Touch, feel, move doing exactly what you know how to do.
  • Enjoy the parts of your gift that are effortless to you. 
  • Remember why you love what you do. 
  • Before taking on a challenge spend a moment just basking in what comes naturally.  Then when your flow starts to come, move forward into new territory.   

 Your emotional state has a direct impact on your ability to reach and maintain your flow state.  So make a priority to build your positive energy and create space for your flow state to flourish.

Empty Your Mind and Promote Focus

When your mind is cluttered with too many things that do not align with your goals, it can feel as if you have a million blocks to getting in the zone.

Even worse is a repeated thought and acknowledgment that you are blocked. 

When it feels like your own mind is sabotaging your means to gain flow, it’s time to empty your mind and regain focus.

Try guided meditation

  • While meditation is often thought to encourage the absence of thought, guided meditation can be used to be intentional with your thoughts.  
  • A guided meditation practice can be used to focus your mind on the exact thoughts and feelings that represent the mental state you are seeking to have, versus the one you may be suffering at the moment. 
  • You can also release focus on the negative self-talk, self-doubt, and other general mind clutter.  And replace these thoughts productively with inspiring guided visualization, relaxation techniques, or words of calm, relaxation, and fluidity. 

Go to sleep

  • Rest and relaxation can help settle anyone’s mind.  But sleep serves as a full reboot to your system.
  • Particularly if you are suffering from sleep deprivation, you may find that you cannot find flow because you are too fatigued to achieve it.
  • Sleep can be a power boost that puts you in the best position to be refreshed, alert, and fertile ground for positivity and for achieving flow state.
  • If you need support in maintaining a regular sleep routine, read this post on Creating a Sleep Ritual to encourage consistency and thorough preparation for better sleep.


  • Writing down your thoughts and feelings can serve as a means to release the need to overthink issues. 
  • It also serves as a more tangible act because you can move from purely mental activity and add a physical component. 
  • Your journal serves to support you as not only a place of release but an information repository.  With that, you can revisit what you have released at a future time when you are ready to do so. 
  • If you are new to the journaling practice, you may find help in reading this post on How to Journal Effectively.

Exercise your body

  • Physical movement can increase your heart rate, promote better circulation and mental functioning, and overall give you another point on which to place your focus. 
  • Whether you are playing a sport, doing yoga, or even having sex, you can transition your attention from your mental activity to a physical one. 
  • Especially when you engage in activity that works your muscles and builds a sweat, you are less likely to focus on anything other than your body. 
  • Exercising, like meditation, can help to reduce or eliminate distracting thoughts and create a blank canvas to get in the zone.  

Create Your ZONE

Being in the zone is the flow state anthem. 

While for some this can happen anywhere, for others, location matters, atmosphere is critical, and support is required. 

Make a flow state ritual

  • Wear a certain pair of socks, play a particular song, eat a certain meal just before go-time. 
  • Create a pattern of activity that says to your mind and body that flow state begins now. 
  • Training yourself to be in the zone can strongly support getting there quickly because you build all the mental queues to say it’s time.

Build the flow state atmosphere

  • Schedule time in just the right studio, use the room that captures just the right lighting, have all essential tools at your fingertips organized with precision. 
  • Make being in your zone a place that you step into. 
  • The more that you fall into the zone in the same space under the same conditions the more likely your mind will go on auto-pilot and expect flow state to happen.

Have a flow state team

  • Getting in the zone is a personal state of being.  But that does not mean that you need to be alone to achieve it. 
  • Some people just inspire creativity within others.  Others are motivators to press beyond your limitations and challenge you to become more. 
  • The flow state status is always your alone.  But the right support can be the perfect trigger to build the best momentum to get you there. 


It is possible to master being in the zone.  In addition to possessing the passion for what you are doing, there are many ways to prep yourself to get in flow.

Increase your focus, decrease mental clutter, and hype yourself up for the task at hand.  Remember that you have been in this state before and build a thirst for exemplary, harmonious performance in perfect rhythm.

You can create an atmosphere that signals getting in the zone, a ritual for flow state readiness, and even pull together the right partners to set you on your flow journey.

Trust that you have the power to get in to the zone and can harness this power when needed.  Make it a practiced and expected event, and know that you can generate your flow state whenever you say it’s time.

Did you develop a new idea on how to master getting in the zone? Do you have past methods that get you to your flow state fast? Share your experience of being in flow in the Comments section below.

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