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Self-doubt can come to you like a silent storm. At first, you sense a small inclination that something is not right. And then all of the sudden you are caught in a downpour of self-sabotage, negative self-talk, over-thinking, and second-guessing.
Even if you are not someone who often gets off track, when true self-doubt comes for the first time you can feel completely scattered, unfocused, and defeated.
Self-doubt is normal, but it doesn’t have to hold you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. Here are some tips for overcoming self-doubt and becoming more confident in your abilities at work.
“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
1. Be Honest with Yourself
You can attempt to give a confident impression to others (and sometimes you should), but you always want to admit to yourself when you are experiencing self-doubt. This gives you the opportunity to pause, inquire within yourself about the source of your concerns, and attempt to address them.
Have you been given a new project and just aren’t sure where to start?
Do you know what to do, but are afraid you may fail?
Is it that you have an idea that you believe is solid, but you are concerned others will not approve of it the way that you do?
Knowing your core issues of concern can give you opportunity to focus and address the problem head-on.
If you don’t know where to start, maybe reflect on a project you did well in the past and how you began then. Or you may be inspired by another person’s work.
When you want to ensure what you do is approved by others, it is always a great idea to get clarity and insight regarding their needs before you start.
And sometimes it is simply worth taking the risk on yourself, moving forward, and learning from your experience.
Do your best and you can always feel satisfied that you put forth your best effort regardless of the outcome.
Be honest with yourself regarding fears, concerns, or areas of opportunity. Then work diligently to respond, react, and resolve your concerns.
By taking productive action to calm your fears and resolve your worries, you can remove self-doubt and build better confidence in yourself.
2. Get Support
When you are experiencing self-doubt at work, it may be necessary to get support from outside of work.
You may have an entire resource bank of family members, trusted friends, or even co-workers from former jobs who can help with the issues that you are confronting.
Other people may have dealt with the exact issue that you are facing and minimally can make you feel as if you are not alone in your dilemma.
You do not want to lean on a “misery-loves-company” campaign. But you may instead want to feel a sense of hope that people you respect and admire have insecurities too.
And further to find evidence that it is possible to move from self-doubt to self-empowerment.
In addition to those you know personally, it can be tremendously impactful to lean on different motivational speakers, social media influencers, podcasters, and more that remind you that self-doubt is commonly an ingredient of success.
In all cases, to gain the right support for your self-doubt from others, it is important to be open about your concerns. And also, to be receptive to the guidance that you are provided to soften your anxiety.
Even if you are not sure that others’ advice is applicable, be patient to listen as you may learn a new method for calming your self-doubt that you never considered on your own.
3. Take Small Steps
When you find yourself with more on your plate than what anyone could conceivably do you likely are going to feel self-doubt.
No matter if you loaded your own plate or someone else did, the outcome is the same. It’s hard to feel confident when confronted with the impossible.
When the pile is high and the list is long, it is important to start small. Don’t try to tackle everything at once.
Instead, take baby steps toward your goal.
Start with one thing at a time.
The goal then is two-fold. Get the small things done and gain momentum and confidence by repeatedly getting things done.
It is harder to have self-doubt when you are on a winning streak. So create a path of small steps that keep you winning and erase concerns and self-doubt at the same time.
4. Keep Learning
If you have self-doubt because you don’t know something, then figure out the best way for you to learn.
Never before have there been so many ways to learn new information and skills.
If the information or practice that you need is very specific to your current place of business, take a vested interest in spending time with others who are more knowledgeable.
So long as others have time to share, most people love when others take a real interest in their job. Simply ask questions and gain answers.
There are many who will take the route of formal education with college courses, certifications, conferences, or trainings in certain fields. These are excellent options for learning and broadening your network of individuals to learn from and share what you have learned.
There are also other vehicles that are more easily accessible and less costly depending on your field of interest.
Skillshare is an online educational platform with thousands of classes on a wide range of subjects for those interested in creative fields. With an active membership, you have an open field of opportunity to try different courses and complete as many as you want.
This is an excellent opportunity to gain new skills or to expand upon existing skills.
And what truly helps is that you can browse and find the right personality, teaching style, and instruction type that fits you personally.
MasterClass is another online educational platform boasting an impressive list of courses and a wide range of subjects from economics to writing to business strategy and personal branding.
In addition to gaining access to a diversified field of subjects with well-crafted course content, you have the added benefit of learning from the absolute leaders in the respective fields.
Pulitzer Prize winners, Nobel Prize winners, best-selling authors, Grammy Award winners, and more.
The curated information is presented in an engaging style and often marries the share of information with a more in-depth and behind-the-scenes view of the presenter. This not only makes the information shared more intriguing but makes learning that much more engaging, entertaining, and fun.
Choose the method of learning that best suits you. As you learn more and adopt your learnings to what you do, you will increase your confidence level along with your skill and abilities.
Learning is the key to expanding your knowledge and also to diminish your self-doubt concerns.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Fail
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Thomas A. Edison
The hardest thing to do when you fear failing is to admit to yourself that you really may fail. But self-doubt becomes stronger when you avoid the truth.
In reality, even experts can fail. And most often the biggest successes have learned the most through their failures.
So learning to fail and then continue to move forward can be one of the best skills for you to learn.
Do not let fear stop you from trying new things.
Ignore self-doubt if it leads you to hold yourself back.
Manage your negative self-talk if it distracts you from your goals.
And learn to take risks so that you can teach yourself all the ways that you succeed.
You will succeed by working hard, and you will succeed by making processes easier. It is possible for you to fail and also to recover.
Or you may fail and never do that same thing ever again!
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
All the roads that you take after risk and failure lead you to know yourself better.
You can conquer self-doubt when you know yourself well enough to believe that you can thrive in any situation.
Self-doubt is something we all face at some time. However, to gain the success that you desire at work, it is important to find ways to conquer it when it comes.
Gain better insight into yourself by exploring the specific reasons you feel doubtful. And discover ways to ease this self-doubt by finding support from others or challenging yourself to address your concerns.
Self-doubt can be diminished by actively working to build confidence in yourself.
You can build confidence by learning more through others, studying independently, or even picking yourself back up after a failure.
While the road to success is more likely to include failure, stress, and self-doubt than not, this does not mean that you must suffer through every challenge.
Take a proactive approach toward facing your fears, challenging your doubts, and building your confidence. You will be stronger in your work because you took steps to gain strength and skill in conquering your self-doubt.
Looking for more inspiration on being your best at work. Take a look at these posts:
The conversations you have at work include fake smiles and mindless commentary. You never feel safe enough to express your real opinions. And you entertain people, meetings, projects, and events that you could care less about.
When did you make the decision to sell out who you are in exchange for what you could have?
And, worse yet, have you been fake for so long that you no longer remember who the real you is?
Some people fall into this category and are simply annoyed with themselves. Wishing that they had never let things get as far as they have gotten.
Others, however, are devastated. Realizing that in exchange for money, a title, an office, or holding down a job, they have completely lost their sense of self.
Who are you right now?
If for the sake of work you have gotten too far away from who you know yourself to be, don’t worry. You will never lose your opportunity to choose to be different.
You can choose who you want to be AND have a job that makes you proud of who you are.
You do not have to compromise what you are in order to please anyone.
You can reclaim the real you that you want to be and change your work life for the better.
How Do You Begin Finding Yourself?
First, let’s be clear. You cannot really lose yourself.
You may believe that you are not being the real you, but the real you is exactly who you are right now.
That’s because there is only one you.
You may not like all the parts and pieces of you at the moment. Or you may feel disconnected with the you that you have become. But who you are is represented by how you show up every day.
If you have a negative relationship with the real you, it is because there is a noticeable gap between who you are and who you want to be. This negative space can leave you feeling imbalanced, disingenuous, and just not real.
But do not beat up on yourself for getting to this place. The reasons you got here were likely sound and reasonable.
We all have compromised before in order to create peace. Peace for others and peace for ourselves.
It is important to feel a sense of harmony, acceptance, and security in our environment.
To gain what we need in life can become easier when we are in the good favor of others. And so we work to create positive experiences with those with whom we share space.
These are all good intentions. But also risky decisions when repeated for too long or too intensely.
When you continually morph yourself to be in alignment with outside standards, you may begin to forget the standards that you hold solely for yourself.
But it is possible to reclaim this knowing and to put yourself in alignment with what is important to you.
Make a commitment to yourself today. Who you want to be and who you are will be the same person starting right now.
Take steps to rediscover the essence of you and then move forward as the you that you really want to be.
Finding Yourself Through Self-Definition
Self-definition is the result of examining yourself and independently determining who and what you are. While you may have been influenced by societal standards, the influence of those in your circle, or your observation of the world, you make the final decision of what definition applies to you.
One path to create your self-definition is to undergo an independent journey of self-discovery. To know who you are at your core and what you stand for requires internal assessment and willingness to be quiet within oneself.
There are innumerable approaches to embark on the journey of self-discovery.
If you are a beginner in creating a self-definition, here are a couple methods that you can try:
Self-Discovery Method #1: Personal Value Assessment
A personal value assessment provides a means to examine, interpret, and choose what you consider to be most valuable to you.
It is your values that affect how you interact with the world and also how you react to others response to you.
Many forums, such as the Values Centre, offer assessments of this kind. See their free example here.
It takes minutes to complete and the outcome is a comprehensive report in response to your inputs. You can learn what your core values say about you and how they impact your connection with others.
The key value with participating in this type of assessment is not only the report that you receive. More importantly it is the experience that you can gain from the questions that are asked.
It is highly likely that questions geared toward determining your core values will help to bring clarity to your self-discovery. These questions may cause you to think more deeply on what is of personal priority to you.
Because of these priorities, you make decisions on how you live, who you have in your life, and what drives you each and every day.
When you know and understand these core principles for yourself, you then can consciously choose how to incorporate them into your daily life.
This process of self-discovery helps create self-definition.
Self-Discovery Method #2: Core Values Journaling
Another self-discovery method is to independently and thoughtfully consider your core values. No report or outside opinion, just you thinking about you.
You can do this through self-dialogue, meditative thought, or journaling. You may find this Core Values Journal to be a useful tool to guide your self-exploration.
With a mixture of questions, journaling prompts, and open journaling pages, you serve as the primary navigator towards learning what is most important to you.
Completing your journal pages is not an all-inclusive means to determine your self-definition. However, the pages can help to create meaningful internal dialogue and to point your mind in the direction of self-discovery.
The most important take-away from these exercises is that you start to consider your own opinion.
And once you identify your opinion, you can then examine if in your opinion you live in accordance with your core values.
Presenting as your true self requires a real connection with your self-definition.
When you know who and what you are you can more easily create a definition of authenticity that you can live.
How Can You Move From Finding Yourself to Being Yourself?
Now that you have identified who and what you believe yourself to be of your own independent opinion, it is important to regularly express this side of you.
When you interact, communicate, and engage with others in alignment with your self-definition you are at same time honoring your self-expression.
To express yourself as the real you is to further clarify to yourself and others how your authentic self lives in every day life.
It can take bravery, vulnerability and openness to shift from being totally outward focused to including your inner self’s thoughts and opinions. This can be particularly difficult at work when you may fear consequence to your decision to shift.
However, if you continue to hide your authentic self, you may continue to feel a disconnect with or loss of your true self.
Often you will also run the risk of becoming restless with your job, disconnected with your work, and unsatisfied with your boss.
Alternatively, honoring your authentic self-expression is a form of affirmation, self-respect and self-preservation.
To maintain the legacy that is you, you must keep the core of you intact. And, to keep yourself connected with your authenticity, it is important to continually permit your real self to show up.
5 Ways to Express Yourself Authentically:
1. Be Honest
Find comfort in speaking your truth versus trying to please the crowd at work. This not only demonstrates your genuine self but also allows those around you to learn and become acclimated to the real you. Honesty can be a breath of fresh air when conformity can leave many wondering if real responses are a thing of the past. Feedback given with respect and thoughtfulness is appreciated, versus being considered rude or disharmonious. It creates opportunity for engaging dialogue and shows consideration.
2. Speak Up
Be transparent with your thoughts, ideas, or recommendations. When you are inspired to share, take confidence that your voice matters and your input is important. Rather than an intrusion, consider that you are a valuable asset to others. When you respect what you have to say often others will as well. Speaking up when you feel called to share trains you to feel safe when letting the real you show.
3. Follow Your Gut
You may not always have the facts and figures to back a decision, but you know your internal gut feeling. Permit your senses to guide your actions and trust in your ability to rely on your sixth sense. Likely it is derived from past experiences, gauging the current climate, and even an emotionally based inclination that makes sense to you. All these queues combined can provide you your own unique read on a situation. You only sharpen these skills when you practice using them regularly. And you honor your authenticity when you recognize and respect that your gut instinct exists too.
4. Respect Your Boundaries
You do not have to always be everything to everyone. And you do not have an obligation to share space, time, or resources with others just because. Respectfully declining work beyond your scope or an after-work event you have no interest in is not a dealbreaker. Instead, it is an opportunity for you to honor your priorities and self-care. Make practice of saying no so that you can affirm your sense of self-awareness of what is right for you.
5. Expect Respect
Everyone has their stressful days at work. This does give license for you to be the recipient of another’s stress release. When things go too far, respectfully let the other person know. You also can take time away from those that seem to be in a toxic rut for days or weeks. Respecting your personal space, your mental space, and your heart space is honoring your authenticity at the same time.
The real you is an authentic you. And the practice of authenticity permits you to stay connected to the full definition of who you are at the heart.
Practice living and interacting authentically to ensure you will not let unintended conformity remove the essence of the real you.
The real you is a part of you no matter where you go, including at your job. However, in order to maintain a harmonious or successful experience at work, you may have felt that you had to leave the real you behind.
When you fake who you are in order to appease others you can feel as if you have lost yourself and suffer the outcome of feeling disconnected or disingenuous.
And when you hit the wall in order to feel whole again you decide to go on the journey of finding yourself.
You can always choose to let who you are and how you show up to others be aligned each and every day.
And you can be 100% yourself without sacrificing your career goals. But instead enhance your ability to achieve your goals holistically.
Whether you use tools like a personal value assessment, a core values journal, or just quiet discussions with yourself, take time to explore self-discovery. Use what you learn as your personal priorities and values as your means to infuse your unique expression into your daily work life.
Through finding yourself, developing your self-definition, and showing up fully as you, you will feel real once again!
The soul of you travels with you no matter where you are. Your highest self represents the cord of consciousness that connects you and the Divine. And the soul of you expresses this connection.
But how does this part of you show up when you are living all the normal and basic segments of your life?
Can you be soulful everywhere you go?
Do you display the soul of you no matter who you are with?
Are you able to feel your soul at work?
It is almost impossible for you to be in flow and have your soul not shine through. Though you may have your soul dampened through your travels in life.
I have lived a life where I just stayed in motion not feeling the world around me.
To move through life because of obligation instead of inspiration can be a dark path.
But to live soulfully is to bring color to your day. It brings life to an otherwise bane existence.
For this reason, it is important to tap in and know what makes your soul come alive.
Allow yourself to feel your soul and express it fully. And understand what it means to be living.
This can happen anywhere in life and certainly should be permitted space to exist at work.
But your question may be how?
First, before we can reach this goal, let’s define the path that you are on. Knowing first the composition of your soul leads to understanding your soul’s expression.
What is the Soul?
There are many definitions of soul. And there are many reasons why this is.
More than religion and dogma, the idea of the soul represents an intangible experience that cannot be singularly defined.
For this reason, if asked, we each likely will give a different interpretation.
However, despite this, there are many that come together in like-mindedness.
Soul is the expression of our spiritual connection with life. It is the experience of being, doing, receiving, or emoting while at the same time ascending to different levels of ecstatic joy.
Soulfulness is to be full of soul and to allow the dams to break with the emotions that arise because of the experience.
It is a form of bliss and also a oneness with whatever form of the world with which you have connected to synergize your joy.
The power of tapping in with your soul is uniquely significant and for this reason important.
It transcends logic and practical understanding and instead connects with our higher level receiving of intuition, spiritual guidance, and exploration through emotion.
It is a Divine power and one that each of us possesses if we choose to honor the connection.
Can You Exist Without Soul?
If you define soul as your spirit, you may then state that it is impossible to live without your soul.
For some, these terms are used interchangeably.
In this definition, the soul becomes the spark of life that exists only when the breath of life is still in you. When you lose your breath of life, your soul/spirit ceases to exist.
However, if soul and spirit are not intertwined in this way an alternative conclusion can evolve.
If spirit is itself the breath of life, then the soul is the joyous expression that exists because of it.
In this case, spirit becomes the signal that ignites the soul to shine through the body.
And the body is the vessel that acts as transmitter of the soul.
In this alternate definition, you have a spirit that resides within the body and the soul that is the expression of this connection through emotion.
This emotion is stimulated and called through by our observation and connection with our internal or external world, or both.
However, even though the soul connection is wholly present, it is possible for you to exist without the soul’s expression.
Many live their lives in absence of honoring this connection.
You can willfully deny yourself the acknowledgment of this soul connection and therefore disallow its transmission through you.
It is also possible to break your soul connection with your highest self. This occurs by becoming more attuned to the pain or mundane aspects of the world.
When you abandon your desire to feel your soul’s connection you can live in its absence.
But the question is whether this is a life well-lived.
To permit your soul’s expression you must be a willing participant. Only in this way, can you feel the magnitude of the power of your soul’s full expression.
In your exploration of life and all that the world contains, you can find what ignites your soul. But to reach your soul’s full expression, you may be led on a journey.
Until you find what sparks the soul connection for you, it may feel as if you are living in absence of your soul.
How Do You Feel Your Soul?
You can feel your soul in willing consciousness to absorb the potential of joy around you. It can be as simple as exploring experiences that you like.
There is a reason why there is soul food. Or that you may say something touches your soul. You can claim someone as your soulmate. And feel a sense of belonging with others at the soul level.
It is the deep resonance with your internal knowing of self, the external stimulation of the world around, and a significant emotional connection that defines the feeling of soul.
The trail of positive experiences brings with it an understanding of what stimulates joy in you. This definition of joy is unique to you as only you can fully experience the emotion that comes through you in life.
The soul expression is a deeper and more vibrant emotion than all others.
Here is where you feel transcended from the awareness of all aspects of life and become fully attentive to that which ignites your soul only.
The power of the connection with your spirit, your body, and your experience creates an ascended emotion that transcends joy or normal pleasure.
It is in this a complete absence of the sensation of separation. All things are one, spirit, soul, and life experience. And the emotion is what could be described as a highest good through this synergy.
Can You Feel Your Soul at Work?
The experiences that can cause you to personally transcend and your soul to come alive can happen anywhere including work.
It is also possible and acceptable to express yourself in a soulful manner in the workplace.
Don’t worry of conflict.
You can experience your soul’s expression and simultaneously abide by any rules or expectations that your job may place upon you.
Your soul is a gift. And when the interactions or content of your work invokes joy within your spirit, it can be a gift for many to share in.
You can find your soul at work when you are being creative. It can be sparked through artwork, design, new ideas, and bold innovation.
You can discover your soul through other people, in meaningful and compassionate interactions, and even through share of your knowledge.
The soul can be ignited when you present, when you draw out emotions like excitement and motivation, or when you allow yourself to be the source of inspiration.
Your job can become a wonderful playground of different experiences that create a soulful exchange with others or soulful experiences for yourself.
How Do I Ignite My Soul at Work?
Your job can be a great place to connect with your spirit and to call out new definition of soul expression for you.
In the very beginning when you are searching for a job, it is important to look for more than just a source of income.
What calls to you as the right place for you to be? How are you inspired to think, create, share, or build?
Who feels like family to you (if that is meaningful to you). And who, at the same time, feels like a team of collaborators toward something greater together?
You can only know what job is right for you when you listen to how your spirit speaks to you through your soul. Logic can only take you part of the way.
It takes time to learn how to listen to something more.
Any work environment can be your stage for soul connection and expression.
You may find new interests or experiences that bring out new emotions. Or you may be able to deepen your interest and find new depths to your soul expression.
It is important to make your emotions as important as your other goals and objectives.
Be open to try new experiences, talk to new people, or even have different types of discussions than what you have had in the past.
Search for what is truly important to you.
You may not always be motivated by money or titles or travel. And following the advice of others who do not share your motivations can inadvertently lead you away from your soul’s calling.
Follow your intuition and let your spirit be your guide.
You will know that you are on the right path when your soul glows an unexplainable but good feeling upon you. It is as if you just smile for no reason at all.
You don’t have to find your soul at work but there is nothing that limits you from finding it there.
Can You Use Soul Language at Work?
The language of the soul is one that steadily becomes more familiar but not necessarily wholly accepted.
When you speak about your desire to feel at a soul level it can feel out of place in some work settings.
But take heed. When on your journey to learn your internal language with your spirit, it is not necessary to communicate it with others.
Your connection with your soul’s expression is one that is personal to you and only you. While others can identify with the feeling, no one but you can sense your own emotions.
Because of this, it is important to be selective with whom you share your soul’s journey.
What you may elect to do instead is to be more transparent about how you feel.
Be open to say when you agree with a direction or a thought someone shares. Be equally open to say when you disagree.
Honor your own opinions and be willing to respectfully disagree with others. Or champion ideas that you love and support those that have them.
Practicing self-expression is one method to attune yourself to your internal voice.
Validating to yourself what you think and feel allows you to become more genuine when identifying your independent perspective.
When you master this understanding of yourself, it becomes easy to then follow the path of what truly makes you happy.
Speak authentically and by default you will be speaking your soul language.
Your soul is the means to express the connection that exists between your body and your spirit by way of emotion.
The soul of you represents the depth of you and acts as an indescribable knowing and resonance when you interconnect with the world around you and within you.
There is no limitation to what can stimulate the feeling of synchronicity and joyfulness that comes from the soul. And it can exist anywhere including in your work.
Be authentic and willing to express yourself genuinely and fully. Take on new experiences or find new ways to enjoy past experiences with new eyes and renewed interest.
Explore your work environment with the expectation that your soul can be ignited by what you find around you.
And feel comfort that your opportunity for soul connection is limitless at work and anywhere else your journey takes you.
Do you know what makes your soul sing? Have you stumbled into a blissful moment? Do you have a soul connection with the work that you do? Share your story in the comments below and ignite the soul’s expression in someone else.
Being social at work can feel impossible when you are naturally an introverted person.
It is even harder when the culture in many work environments is to highly praise, reward, and promote the most interactive and engaging people.
If you are a quieter personality, does that mean that you are not a team player? Or, if you are uncomfortable with conflict, does that mean that you can’t earn a promotion?
When making the choice of whether or not to be social the impact can be bigger than you. It plays a part on you and everyone you work with.
And once you are sold on trying, where do you begin?
The path to becoming more social starts with you. You decide what’s right for you and what is purposeful. Even if it is not comfortable.
Own where you are and decide where you would like to be. And if your goal is to be social, or at least to attempt to be a little more sociable, you can. And you will.
What Does It Feel Like to Be Social?
Being social is hard. For those who don’t feel the struggle of connecting with people, it may not be easy to understand.
Somewhere inside it feels as if everything that you would do or say does not fit in the book of “how it should be done”.
Eye contact is wrong. Words said are wrong. The way you stand is wrong. If you even think of a way to enter a conversation, you definitely are coming up with the wrong idea.
And when all you see is the wrong path, you cannot find a right one.
Also, let’s be clear. The idea of taking a leap of faith and just be more social sounds and feels terrible.
No one wants to feel as if others will judge them in their wrongness. Or to wonder if someone really thinks they are weird behind the smile meant to mean that everything is okay.
Bottomline you can feel awkward when you try to be social. And when you try to fit in, the problem can feel like it can’t be fixed.
Where do you begin to be social? And should you even bother to try?
First, Is It Actually Important to Be Social?
The short and potentially unsatisfying answer is that it is up to you.
While there are many points of view and study that indicate the benefits of socialization and being social, it is not a requirement of life.
However, there is evidence of how it may enhance life.
Through interaction with others you can gain insight to yourself, an increased opportunity to learn new things, and access to resources and even affection.
In absence of connection with others, the reverse can be true. You can be disconnected from social norms, have reduced access to learn, and feel more isolated and lonely.
However, neither the presumed positives nor negatives are guaranteed and very much depend upon to what degree you are exposed to or restricted from others.
So Why Do YOU Think Being Social is Important?
Being social is important if you deem it important to you.
If you are anti-social but at the same time looking for ways to be social, you likely are not completely happy with your current state.
When you are less social, it may be harder to interact with people at work. Being anti-social results in increased anxiety, having access to less information, or being less productive, for some people.
Many work environments lean on their employees communicating with each other as a form of on-the-job training, establishing communication systems, or increasing productivity and problem-solving.
Therefore, when you don’t talk or connect with others, your job may not get done to its full potential.
Another perspective is when you are not social, others do not know how to connect with you.
When others attempt to connect and you engage very minimally or inconsistently, co-workers may seek alternative sources when possible.
Work can be demanding enough not to have to pull information from someone who would rather not speak.
Also, extroverted people tend to gain the favor of others more often that those who are introverted.
An outgoing personality can be deemed as charming, charismatic, or simply fun.
Alternatively, introverted people can inadvertently come off as standoffish, unapproachable, or unfriendly. This image can give others the indication that your presence is more of a burden than an asset.
The problem with these misinterpretations is that they can lead to missed opportunities.
Introverted people at times can have fewer opportunities for promotions, special projects, or presented interface with higher-level leadership.
It’s just harder to sell the attributes of a person who is not willing to engage or show themselves.
For these reasons, it can be important to be social. Even if acquiring the skill for use only on certain occasions, the dividends can be worth the struggle.
What Is Your Brand of Anti-Social?
Every person is not anti-social in the same way.
Some people can talk up a storm with their family, but become quiet as a mouse at work.
Others can speak well in front of a crowd of strangers but clam up in a one-on-one conversation.
Still, others can feel physically ill at a networking event but can be comfortable in a meeting with a new client.
Being social can be no problem one day and become a crisis the next.
For this reason, it is important to know what exactly takes you out of your comfort zone when you attempt to be social.
Alternatively, knowing what puts you in your comfort zone is good.
You may be more comfortable with your team because you work with them often, are accustomed to their personalities, and feel that they know you well.
This can let you know that familiarity versus unfamiliarity is a place of comfort for you in social situations.
Also, when you script or plan things, particularly with work assignments, it may feel better to you.
For example, you may be fine to deliver a presentation because you have an outline readied and prepared in advance.
However, you may be highly uncomfortable if a higher-up walks to your desk for an impromptu status report on your project.
This lets you know that having more control and predictability can increase your comfort.
Knowing what situations trigger you to be more or less social can give you a blueprint of your path toward being more sociable.
How to Use Your Comfort Zones to Be More Social
Your comfort zones function as a solid base to attempt more exposure to being social.
Rather than jumping into high anxiety situations to combat being anti-social, ease into new social situations. This will be less anxiety-producing and likely more sustainable.
Here are a few softer approaches to give being social a real try:
Stay in your comfortable space, but try something new.
If your office space is a safe haven for you, try to stay in it when handling a new social situation.
For example, ask a co-worker that you need to speak with to visit your desk when free. Or, attempt a Zoom meeting instead of a live face-to-face discussion.
Be open to starting conversations with new team members, if only to say your name and what you do within the department.
If you are asked a question, instead of giving a short 3-word answer, be more detailed. Or simply ask a follow-up question to ensure understanding.
Either of these could lead to lengthening the interaction and sharpening your conversation skills at the same time.
Partner up with close colleagues when trying new things.
You may already have a strong relationship with a co-worker or two in the office.
If you need to hold a meeting with members of another department, have your friend stay in the room. Even if they are just a silent partner, their presence may give you the confidence to facilitate the meeting well.
Talk to your co-workers about their social anxieties and learn how they overcome them. You may learn new methods you have not thought of before.
Extend yourself to friends of your co-workers. Tag along on your co-workers’ lunches, meetings, or other engagements with the intention of meeting new people and speaking with them.
Having a partner to deflect to when you get increasingly anxious or run out of conversation can take the pressure off of handling these situations alone.
Do research in advance of new situations.
Attending a business networking event? Know the guest list and then learn about your guests.
What department or business are they in? What new launches or projects might be happening in their area of expertise?
What are the current events in their industry?
Now that you are familiar, you will have a conversation starting point should you be approached or if you feel bold enough to approach them.
This method is gold for those who rely on planning to gain comfort. Study before engagement and feel prepared for the “being more social” test.
Be in the best mood possible before you engage
Bad nerves are bad no matter what your status may be. But they tend to be amplified if you are already in a bad mood.
In advance of a pending tension-producing social situation try to relax yourself with good vibes.
Eat food you enjoy.
Listen to music that lifts you.
Talk to friends and family not about your tension, but about the potential positive aspects of your pending event.
Focusing your attention on more positive things versus agonizing over your soon-to-come social interaction can take the sting out of the event.
You also may loosen your posture, facial expression, and tone of voice through these exercises.
This may lead you to appear less tense, more approachable, and even to look like a more social person than you really are.
A good mood can go a long way to creating a great social interaction.
Whether or not to be social is completely our own decision. However, we have to acknowledge that it will impact how we are perceived in the world and certainly at work.
Being more outgoing does not guarantee you a better job or more money, but can have impact. If others do not know you or find it hard to interact with you, it likely is also hard to determine your true value.
Challenge yourself to be social but don’t feel that you have to stretch way out of your comfort zone to do so.
Take small steps and lean on friends and co-workers if you need to. Above all try to stay calm, be optimistic, and focus on what you would like to gain if successful.
Each of us possesses our own anxieties but also possesses our own gifts and attributes. Learn to be comfortable to share yourself more and to be social. As a result others will learn the real you.
You will gain more and suffer less in the long run and overall know that the challenge was worth it.
Do you have a social anxiety different than the ones reviewed in this post? How do you deal with it? Or do you deal with it at all?? Share your experience in the Comments below.
Whether you are a boss or you report to one, most people have an idea in their mind of what a good boss is.
Better yet, most know exactly what’s what a good boss is not!
When dealing with a bad boss, you can feel the impact. Even if you are just watching someone else going through it. Bad bosses can inspire fear, create tense environments, and overall make work a terrible place to be.
If you carry a title of leadership, it is an excellent opportunity to inspire the best in others. And to create an atmosphere or culture that makes the job a place others want to be.
Let’s examine a few exceptional skills that can make the difference in your being the best boss you can be!
Best Boss Skill#1: Give and Then Give More
As a leader, you may expect to give direction or delegate assignments. But you may not always think specifically to give of yourself.
A boss who is willing to truly be elbow-to-elbow with their team creates an environment of teamwork, loyalty, and approachability well beyond expectation.
People respond better to collaboration than dictatorship. And, if given a choice, would prefer to have access to a supportive personality than an indifferent one.
While every employee may not jump at the chance to spend time with their boss, those that need you most will.
Giving of yourself can show itself by spending extra time to provide training.
Or being open to answering questions, big or small. It can also be key when another set of hands helps to knock out a huge project on time.
Giving more can include support outside of business when life issues arise. An empathic ear one day can make the difference for the entire week.
You can also be a better giver when sharing your expertise. Volunteer to mentor a rising star employee or a new leader in the company. Or schedule time with your own staff who are looking to expand their skills.
Consider giving as a key component of your job and be prepared for the return on investment to become limitless.
Best Boss Skill#2: Listen More Than You Speak
Great bosses are exceptionally good listeners.
While you may be the final say on certain decisions, great bosses know they are not the only voice worth hearing.
Regardless of age or tenure, people respect having their thoughts and opinions included in the process.
Providing opportunities for open forum shared ideas and entertained proposals are crucial to fostering creativity and innovation in any environment.
The more that people are heard, the more they feel included and valued.
Becoming an excellent listener not only gives another speaker the floor. It also signals that you actually want to hear what they have to say.
A good listener demonstrates active listening with engaged eye contact, repeating content for clarity, and affirming with body language.
We all have an interpretation of what looking like you are listening looks like. Great bosses do that!
When you build the habit of listening, you also benefit yourself.
Listening well trains you in the skills of perception, interpretation, and assessment.
As you listen you gain insight into those you speak with.
You learn what motivates others, how they interpret their world, and what causes them to become demotivated or distracted.
Some employees like to talk more than they like to do. Others have great ideas but don’t know how to execute them. Still others are brilliant problem solvers and result achievers.
And all of them can switch places based on the situation or even the day of the week.
Listening well keeps you tapped in to those around you. Now uou can better connect with them personally and gain the most from them professionally.
Learning others better and others sharing openly with you can improve the communication and connectivity with those whom you lead.
Best Boss Skill#3: Show Up As Yourself
Authenticity is the new black.
Everyone is calling for it and, yet, so many still fear owning their true selves for public consumption.
Do you have a work-self and a home-self? Why?
Okay, there are times when you at your most relaxed could most certainly get you fired. Understood.
But there is also such a thing as traveling so far away from your center that you become a completely different person.
Your job should require the share of your skills not the shedding of your soul.
And for those who report to you, it can be hard to fall in sync with someone who becomes a different person every time someone new comes through the door.
When you are consistently your genuine self, those who work for and with you know and learn you better.
Knowing your boss allows you to fall in sync with both their personality and their expectations.
As a boss, it is important to know that you direct people both by your words and your actions. Your facial expressions, tone of voice, and impromptu reactions are all indicators that can be interpreted as how you really feel.
A falsely represented boss will often change these traits due to the work environment, their boss, or their perception of what a boss should be.
The problem, inevitably, is when you are a fake you, the real you shows up too. And that is just too many people for your staff to figure out.
This carousel of characters leads to you being one person one day and someone else the next.
And what does that mean for your employees???
They have no idea what boss they are getting any day of the week.
Your lack of authenticity can lead to employees feeling disconnected, unstable, and unsure in response to you.
But when you are authentic, even on your bad days, you can create the best environment.
Reading Your Boss is a Real Thing
When you are the same person every day and you are genuine in your thoughts and opinions, your people can learn how you tick.
Knowing the real you, they also know what to expect.
And over time, those who are invested in getting their work done well, will know the signals from you of what you like and don’t.
In the world of work, knowing what your boss prefers gives everyone peace.
Your authentic self also has other benefits.
You become more approachable and relatable when you are not wearing a façade.
The benefits of this is not only in how others work for you. It can even impact others to want to be like you.
If you appear as a relatable and real figure others can see themselves as you and feel that what you have achieved may one day be achievable by them.
Be a better boss, mentor, and person by making a practice of being yourself.
Best Boss Skill#4: Be Accountable to People Not Business
While this may be a hard truth to digest, you do not work for your business. You are employed by your business, but, as a leader, you work for your staff.
If you are not sure how this works, let’s look at the facts.
Your employer has provided you with a scope of responsibility and an expectation of output or productivity in your area of command.
You are not meant to produce independently but to properly direct others and yourself to reach the assigned target. Ok. Got it.
Now, in your day-to-day, you have to execute to make it happen.
And you cannot make it happen without your people.
Even with all of these facts, many will still not see where the accountability shifts from the business to the people. But let’s look at why this is also reality.
Your people need you to direct them on what the goals are. They need you to explain tasks that they do not know or objectives they would not otherwise have gotten if not by you.
When they don’t understand, you need to answer their questions. If they make an error, they need to know how to communicate to you so that goals are still met.
Even if you do not directly impact your area’s process flow, your oversight can make the difference in how things are run.
If you are not accountable for being the boss that oversees, leads, directs, and responds to your people, you are not being the best boss you can be.
Further, the closer in touch you are with what your people do, the better you are able to be a resource to them overall.
Knowing their work, their struggles and obstacles, and the subtle nuances to get through each day makes a difference.
This is more than leading, it’s integrating in a meaningful way.
When you display this level of accountability to the team you become a solid resource for them. You are now doing what you are employed to do.
And just like that accountability to your people makes you the boss that wins over and over again.
Best Boss Skill #5: Be a Fearless Failure
Failing is a part of life that no one likes but everyone does.
The best failures are those that prepare you for future success.
As a boss, being brave enough to admit your failures can be crucial to bonding with your team.
Most fail more often on tasks that are new for them in some way. It could be something never done before, a new process, or a higher volume than in the past.
Less often people fail on things that they have done a million times but make a random mistake.
In either scenario, admitting failure provides the opportunity to see what rising from failure looks like. As a boss, it is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate honesty, integrity, and fearlessness in the process.
Doing too much and failing can create a new opportunity of working collaboratively with others in the future.
If you have failed from a lack of knowledge, asking others for input can show how ingenuity and innovation are formed.
When a new process flow breaks down, you can learn better ways to evaluate effectiveness, thoroughly audit, or measure performance.
Failure can be of benefit when you learn from it and become better as an individual or as a team.
A boss who fails fearlessly and recovers gallantly can be a role model to others.
Both relatable and admirable, a boss who falls with grace can inspire others to take on challenges with confidence.
Whether you have recently been promoted or have been leading others for years, there is always an opportunity to be the best boss you can be.
Being boss is more than telling others what to do, but owning all aspects of influence that you have on your team.
Being authentic, accountable to others, and fearless when facing failure are all ways that you can connect with your team and create a culture of openness and comfort.
When team members feel empowered and supported to succeed, they will see you not only as a boss but as a mentor and trusted colleague.
Give the best of yourself to your team and reap the benefits of success that only the best bosses get to achieve.
Are you a boss that gives the most with the best skills? Share your best practices in the Comments below and help someone else become the best at being boss too!
One thing leads to the next and before you know it you are b*tching about your job again. This is not about the occasional complaint or the classic tough-day-in-the-office story.
You are on a full-on, non-stop, binge just complaining and ranting about your job daily.
The crazy thing about it is that it makes you feel horrible. It makes the person listening to you feel horrible. And yet, you find yourself not being able to stop.
It can start off innocently as a bad-boss story where you conveniently play the part of the helpless and clearly wronged victim.
But before you know it, it’s your co-worker, your pay, your passed-over promotion, and even your ridiculous parking spot. You have fallen into hating everything about your job and have spent hours talking about it.
And while you may have gained a posse of sympathizers, you also have blown a month’s worth of peaceful nights.
Worse yet, you have gotten to the point where you never leave work. You take it with you everywhere in your mind. And you brought the worst parts of it into your home, to your family, and planted them into the deepest crevices of your thoughts.
You have b*tched your whole life away.
So while we don’t have to keep phrasing it this way, you know it’s the truth. You have created a serious and unhealthy habit of complaining way too much about your job.
And it’s a habit that needs to stop.
Your job hate is not the real problem. You are.
But that’s okay.
This is not about making you the blame.
It is about making you the solution.
Use these tips to stop excessive work complaining and to take back the joy in your life.
Tip#1: Check-In with How You Really Feel
Before you convince yourself that you will feel better if you just let it out, check-in and see how you feel just before you speak. It’s amazing how even your facial expression will let you know the energy that you are about to emit.
Your eyes begin to squint. Your eyebrows will furl. Sometimes even your jaws will clench. You are ready to really dig into those jerks at work and give them what they deserve. But in reality, you are giving yourself a replay of your bad day in the worst way.
Checking in with yourself you can see if you actually feel good in the process of sharing your bad day.
Relieving any form of trauma is, well, traumatizing.
Unless you truly see a light at the end of the tunnel or a solution being born from the pain, it just is not worth hurting yourself again.
If your boss, your co-worker, or some random customer already made your day terrible, don’t empower them by giving them more of your time and energy.
Release their hold by releasing the memory and refusing to waste your free time-bound to their bad behavior.
Tip #2: Get a Pulse on the Room
You may have all the justified need in the world to release the pain from your mind out into the open. However, your audience may not be a willing participant on the receiving end.
Sometimes it is critically important to lean on others when suffering through life’s challenges. But it is also important to evaluate if you found the right partner to help.
Some family members may be suffering problems of their own at this time. Others may have had the best day of their life and then you show up with a pound of negativity that destroys their whole disposition.
Take a pulse check to see if now is a good time to lean on another’s shoulder.
A good friend or family member will be there for you fully when they are in position to give you their best attention. But pushing your way through can make your bad situation feel even worse.
You will feel better in the process when you feel acknowledged and listened to. You may even get better feedback when your supporter is in the best position to be of support.
In stopping to consider if sharing your bad day is good for another person, you may decide it’s not good for them or for you. #facts
Tip #3: Confide in the Right Person
Make a habit of being selective with who you share your problems with, in general.
Rather than find the one person who will sit and complain until the sun comes up, instead find that friend who finds the bright side to every situation.
Misery loves company but too much misery is just miserable!
Have a confidant who will listen to your problems but then help you find solutions. The experience of finding positive outcomes despite terrible situations can be healing to you both.
More often than not you tell yourself that you want to talk about your problem so you can get it out and get over it.
A good solutionist is going to help you do just that.
Talk out what went wrong. Envision how it could have been better. Potentially address the situation the next day with a positive outcome in mind.
Now together you have transformed a complaint into an improvement opportunity.
Tip #4: Refocus Your Attention
Take a moment to evaluate if what you have to say is better than what you have to experience right in front of you.
Remember, right now you are itching to relive your past. But in your present, you have valuable time to spend with family, friends, your pet, or even your favorite tv show.
Why would you trade all the good in your life to relive one moment of pain that is over?
Even if you have to return to an uncomfortable situation the next day, give yourself the opportunity for peace now.
It may seem like all that you can think about is how horrible work was. But it is worth the effort to create a distraction and set yourself on a different path.
Play music that you enjoy on your commute home.
Put on a tv show that makes you laugh.
Play with your kids.
Walk your dog.
Kiss your significant other.
Call and check in on your mom.
Surround yourself with all the things that are going right in your life and put that ugly work memory on the shelf for now.
Better yet, tell all those that are important in your life how thankful you are to have them to come home to.
After a bad day, it is life-changing to bask in gratitude for the good that you have.
Even if it takes effort, refocusing your attention is worth the reward of your peace of mind.
Tip #5: Keep Your Home Sacred
For those days where you really have to go through the ugly details of your day, give yourself set boundaries.
All ugly happens outside of the house, but none of it crosses the threshold.
Once you are home all bets are off. You don’t speak about it. Don’t think about it. You will not carry a bad day into your home.
This is not only a blessing to yourself but it is a blessing to all who reside with you.
By making your home a sanctuary, you have declared that you set the tone for what your home represents to you.
You may be paid by your job, but you are living for your household, even if you are a household of one.
Don’t sacrifice the peace of your home for a paycheck.
When you prioritize your home, you simultaneously prioritize yourself and create healthy boundaries that support you.
This self-support will give you the opportunity to recalibrate and to reintroduce calm into an otherwise hectic, stressful day.
It can also serve to put you in a better frame of mind to handle the challenges and burdens that you are facing.
When you rejuvenate, you recharge your battery. And with proper energy and rest, you are less likely to want to complain.
Tip #6: Be a Problem Solver
Rather than complaining with no purpose, put conscious energy into resolving your problems.
Complaining just to complain rarely is a fix to any problem.
But assessing a problem situation with the intention to create a more positive outcome is worth your investment.
If your boss communicates with you disrespectfully, how can you be the catalyst for better communication? Maybe they don’t know how you feel and you can take the courage to share the impact their words have on you.
Or it could be that a co-worker seems to never keep up with their work and it impacts your workload. You could attempt to work collaboratively with them to create an improved workstream.
Your pay may be embarrassingly lower than others who do what you do. You could approach your boss or your HR representative to see if it is possible for a change.
Instead of demanding fairness, which you may deserve, you can first explore to gain an understanding. There may be a reason for the discrepancy or you may have to face that your work output is not on the same level as someone else’s.
Each of these situations presents somewhat easy solutions. But the problems that you just can’t stop talking about often are difficult, repeated, and truly disruptive experiences.
Even the toughest problems can have real solutions if you seek to find them.
When necessary, seek out counsel, gain professional support, or get advice from others with more influence. You may even have to strategize on how to leave your job if there is no resolution within your job.
Once you take command of how you want to live, you are in the perfect position to make it happen.
But taking command is not the only step in the process. You must also believe…
Step #2: Believe In What You Want to Believe In
Your belief system is the foundation by which you live.
Some beliefs are consciously acknowledged in your mind; others are subconscious and even feel automatically derived.
You may not know what you believe on any given subject until someone asks you for your opinion. Your thoughts and your actions may at times be inconsistent with what you understood to be your beliefs.
However, when you hold a belief with conviction it can dictate the standard by which you live.
A strongly held belief can act as a framework for how you live, how you interact with others, and the decisions you make on a daily basis.
For this reason, beliefs are critically important in propelling the actions we take. Beliefs create motivation, focus, passion, and meaning.
How Do Your Beliefs Impact Your Work Life?
Your work is an outcome of your beliefs. You could say that your job is a manifestation of your beliefs around your capabilities and your potential for earnings.
You applied for a job because you believed you would get hired. You perform your job duties based on beliefs that you can perform them. Or you believe that you have the ability to learn.
You fear losing a job when you no longer believe that you are capable to perform it. Or you may believe that someone else is better. You may even believe that your company is no longer able to secure your employment.
No matter the direction, you are surrounded by your own beliefs as it relates to your work.
When you want a change in your work, you must first believe that the change is possible.
You may have mastered living your life in accordance with your own definition. But if you do not believe that the future you conceive is possible, you will remain standing still.
This is why you must believe in what you say you believe in.
If you say you believe you can be in management one day, you must treat this belief as fact.
When you claim that you will be a millionaire in a year, you must take on this belief with conviction.
And if you determine that what you believe is not today a reality, you must be comfortable in knowing that reality shifts and so can you.
This is how you create change in your work life. You believe.
Permit yourself to believe without evidence in the current moment and open opportunities to let new realities into your life.
You will have different conversations. You will connect with different people. You will see new possibilities. And, you will be inspired to new actions.
Belief is how you awaken the power of your life’s mastery and walk an inspired path toward what you want in your life.
Step #3: Be Inspired to Follow Your Inspired Action
Inspired action can appear to come from nowhere.
You can be busy in living your daily life and, seemingly from the cosmos, an idea comes into your mind.
But it can also come directly from another source.
In the midst of a conversation, you come up with solutions.
Listening to someone else’s conversation, you gain a spark of influence that simply resonates with you.
Seeing someone else’s accomplishments you see a new way of thinking.
The spark of creation that moves you from thought to action and that jolts positive emotion through you is your Gift of Inspiration.
We all have had the experience of an inspired motivation to move in a certain direction or to take a certain action.
But all too often we have also had the experience where we received inspiration but rationalized our way from it.
On our quest for change, we can be driven to live a new life of our choosing.
And we can believe fervently in our dreams for more.
But then we find fault in the path laid out in front of us, particularly if it is brand new.
Brand new can feel foreign and create insecurity and fear.
But really, how do you do something different by doing only the same things you have done before?
The comfort of conformity can seem as if it is the same as doing the right thing.
Conformity can feel good in its familiarity and security. It can feel as if coming home.
Newness on the other hand can feel challenging, risky, uncomfortable, and utterly terrifying.
How can you follow a path of discomfort and know that it is taking you in the right direction?
How Do You Know When Your Inspiration Is Right?
The inspired path can be tough to follow when you are unfamiliar with the road it leads you on.
And beyond this, when you are taking new roads as it relates to your work, it can make you feel very insecure.
Today you have a job, but what if you are inspired to leave? You have a great relationship with your boss, but what if you are inspired to try for a new role in a different department?
How about the perfect job that pays you half your current salary? Is this inspired action or insanity?
To know your inspiration, you must first know yourself.
Remember, that you have mastered listening to your own voice and understanding your own decisions. You also have created a relationship with what is important to you by way of your beliefs.
When you are given an idea for something new, no matter how strange or uncomfortable, take time to evaluate.
Does this idea feel right to you? Examine if you find it off-putting or if you are more concerned over another person’s perception.
Do you believe that the idea will benefit you? It is important to stay true to your beliefs and not take action in conflict with the foundation of who you are.
Is this idea challenging you? It’s okay to be challenged. But beyond the challenge will you be in a better state or a worse one.
Trust in your ability to do what is best for you. And further, trust that should you falter, you have the ability to recover and to thrive through learning from your mistakes.
Every action that you take will not be perfect. But it may be the perfect path that leads you to become stronger in yourself, better in living your beliefs, and more skilled in interpreting your inspiration.
You will develop the gift of knowing when your inspiration is right but only if you take every opportunity to follow it.
You do not have to stand still in a job you do not want and repetitively live what you know instead of what you dream.
You can have a job that you love and that you are excited to go to every day, even if it is in your own home.
The power to make the job you desire your reality lies within you and can become yours today.
Master being the master of your life. Take ownership of your definition of what you want in life and what satisfies you. And live in accordance with your decisions every chance that you get.
Believe in what you want to believe in. Commit to your beliefs as the charter of your life’s framework. Take courage to set the foundation of what you see as the way that you want to live and what you want to do in your life’s experience. This serves as your guiding light on your life’s journey.
Be inspired to follow your inspired action. When you know yourself enough to know what you want and have the foundation of beliefs that guide your decisions, you will be presented again and again with inspiration for the next steps to take. Be ready, be mindful, and be diligent to move. Trust that you can make the right call for the right move that takes you on the right path for your best life.
Your work is a manifestation of the beliefs of your perceived talent and the value exchange received for your talents.
You decide what you earn, how you spend your time, and who you share your assets with. You set the terms of what is acceptable or unacceptable, and most importantly what you want.
Take these 3 Steps to Change Your Work Life NOW and have the job that you want sooner than you ever believed before.
It is the opposite of demonstrating self-love or self-esteem in a triggering moment or overall.
When you experience self-doubt, what you are not experiencing is strength, wholeness, or assuredness.
If self-doubt is a chronic condition, you are often on the opposite side of happiness, calm, or personal fulfillment.
With all of this lack, the positive attributes of life can feel far out of reach.
Those who perform the best and enjoy their job the most, feel confident and happy with what they do.
Self-doubt and loving your job just don’t work well together.
Why Are You Talking Negative About Yourself, Anyway?
Self-doubt through regular negative self-talk can seem to have cropped up from nowhere. You may even say that this is how you have always been.
In reality, we often learn habits like this through our life experiences. The more that behavior is reinforced by our environment, the more probable we may make it a part of our norm.
Do you spend time with other people who complain about themselves externally or who say negative things about other people?
Are parents and loved ones making it acceptable to talk negative about yourself but complimenting yourself is proud and arrogant? You may begin to internalize that negative self-talk is somehow equivalent with being humble or more realistic.
Have you made a string of mistakes in your work and feel that it warrants criticism? If you examined yourself from the outside looking in, do you see a failure or someone undeserving of their job?
These are just a few examples of how negative self-talk can be introduced or reinforced within you.
And then, with repeat exposure, it can become your habit of understanding and a major contributor to your self-doubt.
Try looking at your life through a different lens.
This can allow you the opportunity to embrace imperfections, reduce exposure to negative surroundings, and create better outcomes through better internal communication.
Why Is Addressing Self-Doubt and Negative Self-Talk Important?
Self-doubt can keep you standing still when life compels you to move forward.
It can strip the joy from what you do every day and make what could be your dream job feel like a job from hell.
Too often a bad job can be confused with a pattern of internal negativity.
If you do not see the good in what you do, the potential for learning and growth within yourself, then it is likely you will feel that your job is also a contributing factor to your lack of success too.
Nothing is right when all you see and talk about is wrong.
But if you transition your negative self-talk into positive reinforcement of your strengths and opportunities, you elevate your emotional set point and your sense of self.
Through self-awareness and empowerment, you now can…..
See past mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, or
Interpret missed deadlines as flags for problems to solve and opportunities for process improvement, or
Reevaluate embarrassing moments as necessary and meaningful life lessons
As human beings, we are imperfect by nature.
And when you embrace your personal imperfection you can move away from self-criticism. Instead, you place your attention on positive self-awareness and empowerment.
Your imperfections are what make you unique. And your uniqueness is what makes you special.
And why does this matter when it comes to your work?
When you are able to show your strengths well, demonstrate understanding of your weaknesses, and also project confidence, you are truly well-rounded.
You confidently know what jobs to take and feel empowered to pass on the ones that will be a struggle.
You understand what work requires more study and learning and what you can take on without any thought at all.
You can take on challenges with openness and transparency and feel comfortable asking for support in areas you know are not your strengths.
You can connect with others better, build stronger work relationships, and perform at your best when you embrace the totality of what you are.
How Positive Affirmations Help Conquer Self-Doubt
Positive affirmation can help conquer your self-doubt by supporting you to build a negative self-talk alternative.
When you introduce a new pattern of regular words of encouragement and self-worth, personally-directed negativity no longer has a place in your internal conversation
You stop normalizing thoughts or words of your failure, lack of ability, or fear of new things.
Instead, highlight your patterns of success, your ability to move forward even after setbacks, and your capability to survive and thrive through change.
Positive affirmations can be a powerful support in rewriting your pattern of negative self-talk. With them, you can interject confidence and self-worth into your daily communication.
Used regularly, positive affirmations help to change your internal narrative and also provide you readied alternatives when you are not practiced at saying the best things to yourself.
How to Use Positive Affirmations
The best use of positive affirmations is a self-defined practice.
So long as, in their use, you see movement towards your goals you have developed a good practice.
To help you develop the best practice for you, here are a few commonly used ideas:
Curate Your Perfect Positive Affirmations List
Search for positive affirmations through places like Google or Pinterest or through websites like Curvy Points. Purposely look for subjects that you believe cause you the most concern.
When considering options, think about the attribute that you want to improve.
Do you want to be more Confident?
Are you hard on yourself in general and need to speak more Self-Love?
Do you obsess unnecessarily and need to create more Calm in your work day?
There are thousands of affirmations that exist on all of these subjects and more.
As you read them, examine how you feel. Sometimes you can be immediately empowered. Other times you may feel uncomfortable because you do not feel that it feels like you just yet.
Even the positive affirmations that challenge you may be worth considering for your list.
It can be the hardest ones to say to yourself that you may really need to start hearing on a regular basis.
Examine Your Positive Affirmations List for Best Fit
While affirmations can be of different designs, subjects, and lengths, when new to using affirmations it may be worth considering keeping a common theme and choosing ones of shorter length.
You want to not only find the right words to say but you want to remember to say them.
Shorter phrases on a singular theme can make remembering your positive affirmations that much easier.
Memorize 2 or 3 at first and build your practice of use over time.
You may quickly find that what you thought was a major focus for you really wasn’t that big of a deal after all.
It could also be that one subject of positive affirmation was valid for one week and the next week you need a different focus of attention.
Let the process be fluid but be diligent to attend to your list and to use your positive affirmations daily.
It is likely your negative self-talk had the floor a lot. It’s time to give your positive affirmations as much or more time in your mind.
Create a Positive Affirmations Morning Ritual
Starting your day in the right mindset can be the perfect way to combat self-doubt before it starts.
And positive affirmations can be instrumental to start your day right.
Now that you have curated a list of positive affirmations, keep your list handy. Use them as soon as you wake up from your sleep or while you are getting dressed.
While you may have memorized a few favorites, this is the time to review your whole list.
Take time to say each word. Resonate with the meaning of each phrase. And even create a visualization of yourself embodying the words that you have said.
Confidence, self-love, success, and motivation feel different and create different facial expressions, even presentation, and stance in your body.
Take on all the effects of these new positive affirmations on you.
Remember, you are re-writing all the expressions, thoughts, and bodily impact of negative self-talk. So you want to give yourself as many queues as possible of these positive changes.
Use Positive Affirmation Addendums
When first tackling your habits of negative self-talk, it may be hard to remember to say positive statements to yourself instead.
The reality is that you likely have been saying negative things for a long time and to abruptly start a new pattern is not likely.
Recognizing your negative-self talk triggers can help to begin opening awareness to when and how often you present yourself with negative ideas and self-doubt.
In the midst of your negative comments, you can add on a positive affirmation addendum to steer your thoughts in a new direction.
For example, if you would normally say, “I am not good at this!” you may add on, “But I am capable to learn new things”.
Or if you ask yourself, “Why would they give this for Me to do of all people?”, you may follow up by saying, “I always do my absolute best. Maybe they knew that”.
Instead of leaving yourself defeated, give yourself a breath of fresh air and room to feel better about your capabilities.
Know that change takes time. But inserting positive affirmations into your life is worth the effort for the rewards of positivity, calm, self-worth, and self-confidence that they bring.
Train yourself to conquer self-doubt and become the success you want to be.
Self-doubt is difficult to live with and even more difficult to address at work.
Particularly when self-doubt builds in you due to negative self-talk, it can cloud your judgment about yourself and your ability to be successful at work.
Positive affirmations are good tools to re-engineer your thoughts and internal dialogue and to create an improved self-image.
They can improve not only how you speak to yourself but how you feel about yourself and your overall future.
Choosing the right positive affirmations for you is necessary to not only improve what you say but to feel genuine in the process.
Taking inventory of your emotions and what words resonate with you, can make your positive affirmation practice most meaningful and impactful.
With the right tools in hand, you can build a practice of infusing positive affirmations into your work life and create a more positive and healthy work experience every day.
Create Even More Practices to Improve Your Life at Work and at Home:
But if this is truly not possible, you can also release yourself from your discomfort and simply look for a new job.
It is possible to find a job that you really want and one that you would not dream of wanting to leave.
2. You Feel STUCK, TRAPPED, or UNMOTIVATED at Work
Like a broken elevator, some jobs leave you right where you are standing.
While sometimes we want to run before we walk, other times a job can make you feel as if you are at a perpetual crawl.
You can’t expand to learn new things, so you are stuck doing the same old thing.
There is no way to move up or you repeatedly get passed over for promotion, so you feel trapped in a dead-end position.
You are bursting with ideas and suggestions, but they are not listened to or supported.
The summary of it all is that you feel unmotivated to attempt to do anything more.
Before you give up on your job, explore ways to make what you want happen.
Look for inspiration and ideas from others around you who have been successful in what you want to do (S4). Take advantage of your insider access to talented co-workers who may love to show you what they do or share how they gained their skills.
Professional growth is not limited to changing your position. You can grow by learning people and processes and practicing different forms of communication(S5).
Try talking and connecting with your boss in review of your professional needs and interests.
Every company and every manager has their own way of building their staff to become more. You may need to learn how to connect with their vision before forcing yours onto them.
Create a win-win by drawing clear lines between meeting your needs and the needs of your department. You may find that you and your manager have a common interest and as a result a shared enthusiasm in your career development.
There is always a way to approach your goals from a different angle and to achieve success.
Another thing to consider is whether or not you are truly being passed by.
It is important to acknowledge that there are times when you actually get what you want. And even more when your voice is truly heard.
Sometimes we get so addicted to winning that we fall apart whenever we lose or get told no.
No job will take your every suggestion or implement your every idea.
Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses (S6). And remember you can experience both at any job.
Identify your role in your success
When it comes to promotion, note that this type of change can require time, experience, and a particular level of talent. Not every single person is capable to attain what’s required.
Take an honest evaluation of whether you truly meet the requirements for the work that you seek to do. If not, see what opportunities you have to grow both inside and outside of your business (S7).
You may be putting full responsibility on your job to give to you when you have not yet invested in yourself.
Now, if you feel that you have turned every stone, tried every angle, explored every avenue, and are still standing still, it may be time to move on.
Your company is not the only answer to your growth, but it should meet you on your professional journey. If it is unable to do this, then it may be time to find a company that will.
3. You Struggle to Come Up with Good Reasons to Stay
Looking for the positive in a situation is an excellent starting point in taking responsibility for your life experience.
You cannot control the world, but you can control your opinion of it.
However, when a job is just a bad fit, it can feel impossible to come up with the positive end of the stick.
You are working.
And you are able to earn an income.
Plus you know how to do your job well.
Then suddenly your list of affirmative statements ends, and you are left wondering why you are still here.
It is important before you make a big decision like quitting a job that you evaluate if things are really as bad as they seem.
Particularly when you build a negative expectation or negative emotional pattern related to your job, it is extremely difficult to see things differently.
Take time to write a pro and cons list about your work (S8).
Have discussions with others at work with tenure and casually ask what made them stay all their years (S9).
Seek out the positive instead of expecting it to just show up.
Look at what you have learned, what relationships you have built, and the comforts you have gained from being in a familiar environment (S10).
But if with all of your searching, you still struggle with finding positive to be found, you may simply be in the wrong place.
A good place to work, like any good relationship, is not a struggle. You should know easily why you would want to be there even if occasionally you are not happy with the day-to-day.
If all that comes to mind is the hardship of staying, then make your life easier and start your plan to go.
4. You Are Emotionally Disconnected from Anything “Important”
The pace and energy of a job are as important of a factor as the actual work that you do.
Every business, and even the departments within them, have a different culture and manner that each part interacts with the other.
At one time you may have been a part of that natural rhythm. But now you are no longer part of that flow.
Deadlines come and go with an urgency in the air. Must-do projects sail through with pressure and intensity.
You may even sit in the middle of all the calamity, but you just don’t care.
When you lose your passion for your position, it shows.
The days become longer. The work becomes meaningless. And your internal fire is impossible to light.
This type of dwindled energy can occur for many different reasons and not all lead to leaving your job.
You may have had a recent negative experience at work that is too fresh for you to ignore. Or a blow to your ego too big for you to be enthusiastic about work at the moment.
When problems like this arise, remember to consider that it may be a long-term disruption or simply a temporary discomfort.
When experiencing pain from your job, let time heal before you decide you need to leave (S11).
Another reason you can lose interest in the usual work frenzy is that you are burned out.
You want to have more enthusiasm, but your cup is empty and has been for so long there is nothing to pull from.
Still another reason for the disconnect is when things other than work have your attention.
You may have a sick parent, experienced a recent death, or even a break-up. Your emotional ties to other parts of your life may leave you empty at work.
The reality is that while it is not necessary to pour your emotions into your work when you do you feel more connected.
Allow yourself to be different when life requires you to be.
Permit yourself to attend to other parts of your life and to limit your emotional attachment to work priorities(S13).
You can still be productive and yet emotionally disconnected. And if you are comfortable, let your boss or co-workers know when you have distractions that may make the way you do your work seem different.
You may find in being transparent that others become more helpful and supportive until you are able to bring yourself back to center (S14).
No matter the obstacle, when all the dust settles and you can see and feel clearly, take another look at your job.
If even with a clear mind and filled emotional tank you still lack passion for where you are, then it may be time to look for a new work love in your life.
5. You Just Do Not Like What You Do
A job is more than a paycheck. And it can be disturbing when this realization shows itself each and every day at work.
You may have started your job because you had to pay the bills. But after time you are looking for more.
Loving what you do may seem like a privilege. But you would appreciate it if you at least liked what you do.
If you struggle with having an interest in your job, it can make getting through your day feel like crossing a desert. The dry reality of completing meaningless tasks can be torturous.
This realization does not always mean that quitting your job is the answer.
Many companies have a number of positions and would love to hire someone who has tenure with the business that they know and trust.
Look for other internal job opportunities (S15). Or, if you feel you can support the company in a unique way, consider proposing a new position (S16).
There is no harm in being creative or expressing your interests openly.
The worse that can happen is that you are told no.
And then you can decide if quitting is the only option that you have left.
See yourself as a valuable asset capable of learning and taking on new challenges. You may be just what your company needs.
And if not, another company will be happy to bring you onboard.
No job will last forever. But before you leave the one that you have, make sure that it is really a new job that you need.
If you quit your job, you don’t want to look back and feel that maybe you really shouldn’t have.
Remember to look for solutions to your discomfort before you decide that quitting is your only resolution.
Need a Quick Bad Job Solutions List? Take a Look at Our Favorites:
The best thing that you can do for yourself is to take personal responsibility for the happiness you desire in your job.
And, if even in your diligence you cannot find a resolution to the problems you face, then choose to prioritize your happiness and find a job that you love.
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