How to Use Uncommon Resources to Help You Make Big Career Changes

How to Use Uncommon Resources to Help You Make Big Career Changes

When you are looking to change your job or your career, the world of opportunity can be both exciting and overwhelming.  It can be a big decision to consider all alone, and therefore you may seek out resources other than your own opinion.

You may feel very passionate about making a career change. But it can still leave you feeling anxious when it comes to the details.  Having an unclear path ahead can cause you doubt and confusion, cause disruption in your family, and even leave you to consider reversing your decision. 

Trying something new in your career should not be a stressful process but an exciting and fun experience.   Sometimes you need a new point of view to gain consistency in your confidence and to examine your new path forward in the best light. 

Try any of these uncommon career change resources when exploring a new career direction and to support you on your path forward into new territory.

1. A Life Coach

You may have expected a career coach to be the first recommendation when making a career change.  And, yes, a career coach can be an excellent option for obvious reasons.  However, if the career coach that you have identified is not also a life coach, you may want to seek out a life coach specifically. 

Life coaching is a broader yet useful discipline as it often centers around supporting you in creating overall well-being within your life. By examining your values, personal needs, and conflicts, solutions are developed to create more ease in your life by maximizing your internal and external resources to get there. 

When you are making a career change it can absolutely create conflict in other parts of your life. It can heighten your internal sense of stress and anxiety that often accompany the life-change process. Working with a life coach can assist you in making the transition one that supports you, your lifestyle, and your personality. You can make the necessary change in your career while keeping intact all the other important parts of your life that make you happy and whole. 

2. Religious Leader in Your Community

For those who are religious, consulting a religious leader for counsel within your specific faith may seem natural.  However, this may be an underutilized resource when it comes to your career development and related decisions. 

Consider that making a significant change in your life can be a test of faith in yourself. You may also seek to ensure that you are properly interpreting your calling to go a different direction. You can find that speaking to someone who understands dilemmas in faith and following your intuition can be of significant help. 

Additionally, career changes are often accompanied by new introspection. You may have a new desire to serve a more meaningful purpose. Or you may want to apply your innate and learned knowledge in new ways.  A religious leader can act as a partner on your journey of internal assessment aligned with the beliefs you value. 

Certain career changes can on the surface create havoc in other parts of your life. Predicting this can cause you to question whether or not you are acting on selfish principles. Does it make sense to make a change that works against harmony within your family or places yourself at financial risk? Your religious resource can provide guidance, religious reference, and an unbiased ear to help you through your decision-making.  

The resources within your religious community can be vast. And may even include those who have experienced your particular challenges first-handedly. Be open to seeking out those who share your similar belief system and values and who can make your transition easier.

3. Your Work Nemesis

why is changing jobs so hard

Your work nemesis may not be as unbearable as you think when you take a closer look at your conflict. The bitter feelings you hold may have less to do with the person. But instead, you may be preoccupied with comparing yourself to them and feeling bad about how you measure up.  

If you know another employee who performs a job you would love to have but are intimidated by how well they do it, talk to them.  If you can brave putting aside your own insecurities, you may open yourself up to a host of opportunities.  

Connecting with a person at work regarding a new career interest provides easy access to information. Additionally, since you already see the person’s work results, you know you are dealing with a skilled reference.

Explore if you may be able to coordinate shadowing opportunities or sit-ins on meetings or projects. Even a simple referral could be of support. Developing an unlikely ally can be just what you need to build your confidence in trying new things with success.   

4. Your Parents

We all evolve over time. But there are certain core things about us that remain constant throughout our lives.  Who better to identify these traits and talk through them with you than your parents? 

Now, not everyone has a positive relationship with their parents.  If this is you, you may not want to take this route as it may only add more stress to your path. But if you are fortunate to have a positive relationship, then share your concerns, reservations, and aspirations with your parents and ask for their advice. 

You may be shocked to learn your parents faced similar situations in the past.  It may have occurred at a time when you were not old enough to notice.  But now you can learn and grow from their experience. Knowing you well, your parents may provide you insight to how you handle change or transition.

Even if your parents cannot provide specific guidance, it can be nice to be given overall support.  A positive influence in your corner when you are facing doubt and internal questioning can make all the difference.

5. A Psychic or Other Medium

Using the services of a psychic, medium, or empath may not be for everyone, but exploring this path is one that works for many. 

You may have heard that people will seek the services of a psychic because they desire guarantees for their future.  Unfortunately, readings tend to provide a view of possibilities at the time that you receive the service but often cannot guarantee future events.  Despite this many like to use these services to explore insights of a broader perspective and to bring to light unseen aspects of their life.

For example, you may connect with a psychic who uses astrology in their readings and can explain planetary influence to the timing of your decisions or the business culture best suited for your sign.  An empath, whether or not they possess psychic abilities, may interpret with depth your emotional condition and the perceived readiness for transition based on your current standing. 

A medium may channel communication with your spirit guides or important people who have transitioned and reinforce for you a sense of presence and support when you feel alone on your journey.  You may also feel a greater sense of purpose if you feel that your attributes and skills are part of a legacy of talent within your lineage. 

Being open-minded to exploring psychics and other similar services can provide you with a different perspective than others you may have thought to entertain for your career transition.  If you are looking to try consulting a psychic for the first time, you may want to try Keen (affiliate link).  

Psychic and Other Medium Services

Keen offers 24/7 access to psychic advisors who specialize in many different areas and can provide guidance on career, finances, romantic relationships, and personal life challenges.  You can explore the background of the service provider before you select them, learn their style, and see their reviews so as to make an informed decision before finalizing a purchase decision.  

Options are there to assist you on your journey in the way that best suits your needs. And you can simply take a light-hearted but informative exploratory approach toward learning new perspectives and advice with minimal investment. 

6. Your Alma Mater

Seeking guidance from your university or college may seem as if it is only for new grads or entry-level career candidates.  But many institutions offer life-long access to advisement and are open to providing you assistance throughout your career. 

Particularly when anticipating a new career path or new industry pursuit, educational institutions are well equipped to help. They can possess easy access to up-to-date information on the career trends within certain disciplines or the market within their region.  Additionally, they may have additional services to support networking or resume refreshers. And, of course, will have information on coursework, certificates, and online learning that can best serve you in preparation for your new endeavor. 

It is also important to remember that new staff may have joined their teaching community since the days of your graduation.  Connecting with new professors or administration and asking for their insights can expand your network and provide you with a different perspective than when you were active on campus. 

7. Unfamiliar LinkedIn Connections

LinkedIn is a tremendous networking resource for professionals to build connections with individuals from their past and current places of employment and within their field.  Because you have the option to make your profile public, you can gain the interest of those who are not in your direct business community but who have learned of you through others or due to their own search efforts. 

That said, if you have been using the platform for some time, you likely have picked up a number of connections that were courtesy connections only.  In an effort to be hospitable and to boost your 1st or 2nd contact list, you said yes to connect with individuals that you really do not know. 

When you are exploring new career opportunities, do not hesitate to utilize your expanded network to your advantage.  This is exactly what the tool is for.  If you do not know an individual who holds a position or works for a company that is of interest to you, message them to see their availability for an exploratory discussion.  Or send a note asking for insight or recommendations on how to pursue your new career interest further.  

Informal or distance networking can be an excellent alternative for those who are not comfortable in face-to-face discussions or with random after-work dinners or meetings where walking up to strangers is anxiety provoking.  Use your LinkedIn platform to gain the best of both worlds by asking otherwise uncomfortable but necessary questions in the easiest way possible. 


Career changes can be stressful enough without feeling as if you have to go on the journey alone.  And while you may have done the research to light the flame of your interest, you may still hold reservations about change. 

Consider seeking the insight and advice of others who you may not have commonly thought to talk to for this type of decision.  You may find that connecting with an unfamiliar or uncommon resource may provide you with just the perspective that you need. Build up your confidence, faith in yourself, and certainty in the direction you have chosen with the right career resource by your side.

Do you have any other ideas for uncommon resources to assist when considering a new career path?? If so, share yours in the Comments below and join the discussion. The perfect help can often be found in the most unlikely of places.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

How to Convert Positive Affirmations for Confidence at Work into Powerful Journaling Prompts

How to Convert Positive Affirmations for Confidence at Work into Powerful Journaling Prompts

The concerns and mounting pressures in your job can leave you all too often plagued with anxiety and lost in trying to find ways to overcome self doubt.  Even when you know what you are capable of, constantly changing protocols, deadlines, leadership, and direction can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and inept.

It is important to do your best every day and throughout the day to recenter yourself and to bring back calm, focus, and balance when you can.  And while doing this may prove to be difficult, it is never impossible.

Be diligent to wield for yourself the power of your mind and the direction of your thoughts.  With regular practice and reinforcement of healthy self care, self love, and self confidence practices you can regain control while working in an otherwise uncontrolled and imbalanced work environment.

Adopting a daily journaling practice with positive affirmations is just one way to soothe your insecurities and overcome self doubt while at work.


Using Daily Positive Affirmations

A daily positive affirmation practice is a useful routine or habit to introduce into your daily regimen.  The goal of any practice, routine, or regimen is to create consistency with needed or preferred actions that improve your quality of life. 

The regular use of positive affirmations serves as a tool to assist with improving your quality of life.  And, particularly, their use can help to create a habit of positive self talk that can ease your mind and redirect negative thinking. 

The source of your self doubt at work could be the influence of others in your environment, troubles in your work performance, or the anxiety you have internalized due to constant change and uncertainty.  But you can take action to overcome your self doubt, strengthen your self confidence, and be proactive in healing yourself.

Using Daily Positive Affirmations as Journaling Prompts

In addition to speaking your affirmations aloud or silently in your mind, you can also reinforce their positive impact through journaling.

Journaling can take many forms and affirmations may be infused into your journaling in many ways as well.  One method is to use the positive affirmations as a journaling prompt simply by writing the statement first and then following it with the question, “why?”

Making the statement, “I am gifted and talented”, for example, and then asking the question, “why” allows you to explore more deeply the meaning this statement has to you.   If you permit the exploration and find the statement to be truly valid, then you can reinforce this truth with explicit examples, feedback received from others, or positive experiences where you felt aligned with this truth.

If you do not feel that you are “gifted and talented” as the statement indicates you may not want to include it in your daily affirmation practice.  However, you may still choose to use it as a journaling prompt.  Now the question behind the statement changes from “why” to “why not”.  You can explore what makes you feel the opposite to this statement, whether it is this really your opinion or someone else’s, and whether there are ways to change your opinion to a more positive one.

Using journaling prompts is just one way of expanding the use of positive affirmations as a tool.  It can assist when you want to initiate a journaling practice but are not sure where to begin.  Or you can also use affirmations as journaling prompts as a means to greater personal exploration and self assessment.

No matter the method, regular use of journaling prompts and positive affirmations can be powerful tools to support building self confidence and overcome self doubt at work.

Positive Affirmations to Overcome Self Doubt at Work

Who I AM

I know who I am and because I do I feel confident in myself

  1. I am gifted and talented
  2. I am intelligent
  3. I honor who and what I am
  4. I am diligent and focused
  5. I make a difference
  6. I am a confident person
  7. I possess strength within myself
  8. I am enough
  9. I am confident in my abilities
  10. I am a contribution to myself and others around me

Truths I Know About Myself

I know these statements to be true and affirm them to myself

  1. I know that I do my best
  2. I am willing to learn new things
  3. I am in my position because I am capable
  4. I grow from my mistakes
  5. I am really good at what I do
  6. I can do what I set my mind to do
  7. I am allowed to be just as I am
  8. I keep getting better and better
  9. I own and embrace my imperfections
  10. I am worthy of success and praise for what I do

What I Think About Myself

I think well of myself and am confident of my thoughts and opinions

  1. I am proud of the work that I do
  2. I am confident that I can be successful
  3. I can rely on myself to do a good job
  4. I know that my thoughts and opinions matter
  5. I make a difference every day
  6. I am proud of who I am
  7. I know that my voice matters and I openly speak my mind
  8. I recognize and am proud of all that I am
  9. I am a uniquely special person
  10. My actions are of excellence

How I Treat Myself

 I am good to myself and practice self love regularly

  1. I remember to value myself throughout my day
  2. I prioritize taking care of myself at work
  3. I permit myself to take time to breathe
  4. I find talent within me any time I look for it
  5. I acknowledge myself when I do well  
  6. I am thankful for my gifts and talents
  7. I love myself fully and unconditionally
  8. I am successful and I enjoy my success
  9. I choose to embrace confidence
  10. I believe in myself

How I Treat Others

I am a good person and treat others well because of my values

  1. I share what I know confidently with others
  2. I treat others as I want to be treated
  3. I reflect to others the good that I see in them
  4. I choose to see the positive in others
  5. I treat others with respect and dignity
  6. I am a person of my word
  7. I commit to doing my best always
  8. I am compassionate and helpful
  9. I am happy to be of service to others
  10. I am willing to learn and willing to share

How I Conquer Self Doubt

I have confidence in myself and my ability to conquer self doubt

  1. I stand strong in the face of adversity
  2. I take time to say the right things to myself
  3. I support myself when facing challenges
  4. I exercise balance when my mind, body, and spirit require balance
  5. I promote the positive and gently move through the negative
  6. I know my worth
  7. I remember always what makes me powerful
  8. I treat myself with kindness, dignity, and compassion
  9. I am good to myself
  10. I accept that my fear exists and still permit my confidence to shine


Powerful positive affirmations produce powerful results.

Develop the habit of using positive affirmations daily to improve your self talk and to overcome your self doubt.  Find ways to incorporate not only the habit of speaking positive affirmations but using them in ways to encourage a more expansive understanding of yourself and as a means to encourage improved confidence in who and what you are.

You are capable of overcoming self doubt anywhere in your life including work. Take the time to take care of yourself and you can create improvement in your work life.

Looking for More Inspiration?

Read these posts:

If you have a powerful affirmation statement that you would like to share, please do not hesitate to put it in the Comments section below! We are all here to help each other be our best in any way we can.

journal prompts for confidence

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

How to Jump into Entrepreneurship Without Breaking Everything

How to Jump into Entrepreneurship Without Breaking Everything

Becoming an entrepreneur is not for everyone and there is a reason why.  You have to possess some form of entrepreneurial mindset where you can thrive despite uncertainty while maintaining high levels of personal drive. 

It just isn’t for everyone. 

So before you jump into the solopreneur arena, it is important to conduct a personal entrepreneur mindset check and ensure that you are truly ready to jump ahead. Jumping too far and too fast can be the right recipe for broken dreams and withered optimism.

Here are a list of 5 attributes that support having a strong entrepreneurial mindset that can well-ready you on your path:

#1 Know Your Strengths…the Ones You Really Believe In

We all have a unique combination of skills and abilities that we possess.  It is important to take inventory of what we believe these strengths to be particularly when starting on the entrepreneurial path.

When starting anything new you will be challenged with learning and adapting to things you have never seen before.  But when you understand that you have an arsenal of talent already in your toolbox, it feels a lot less as if you are starting with nothing.

Entrepreneurship can test your resolve in the belief of your success over your failure.  Particularly as, often times, it takes time for success to show itself and to stay.  When you build upon your establish strengths then you know that you can never break down beyond your core foundation and you will always have a form of steady ground to stand on.  Even if you have to start over.

That said, be ever-mindful of the big idea that inspired your entrepreneurial dream.  But use your established strengths (as well as new ones you’ll gain along the way) to establish the foundation on which your dream will be built.

#2 Manage Your Entrepreneurial Mindset

You would think that self-sabotage would be the last thing you would face when you have consciously made a decision to become an entrepreneur.  A negative state of mind is not where you might begin but after months or years of not quite making it, it can definitely become where you land.

Knowing yourself well and what, for you, triggers a slide backward can go a long way to being prepared for your entrepreneurial journey. Nurturing your mental drive and stability is a core skill that can make the difference between being strong in your business or having no business at all.

What motivates you when you hit roadblocks?

What processes get you back on track when you have fallen off?

How do you shift your focus when negative thoughts creep in and sandbag your momentum?

Who do you need to avoid because their negativity becomes contagious and kills your optimism?

No matter what role you play in your career, a negative mindset is the plight we all suffer at times.  But as a new entrepreneur, you may be faced with an unusually high number of challenges that test your ability to stay positively focused.

Know that this is just part of the game.  And focus your attention on how to navigate around these mental blocks when they arrive.  The better you get at staying on course the less likely you will concern yourself when negativity comes knocking at your door.

#3 Know Your Work Ethic

    You would not take a leap if you didn’t believe that you had the drive to do it.  But in reality, different types of work require different types of drive.

    No two entrepreneurial paths are the same but there is one thing that often is in common, you must possess an internal drive to get your tasks accomplished.

    • Mom will not wake you up if you are late.

    • Your boss will not remind you of your deadline if you are falling behind.

    • Your professor will not sit down and cover the items you missed so you perform better next time.

    You are not only the creator of the dream but all the parts and pieces that lead to making the dream possible.  This includes organizing, motivating, reminding, and pushing yourself forward. 

    To be clear this is not a list of attributes you must have before establishing your entrepreneurial pursuits.  But this is just a slice of the life changes that will come with stepping out on an independent endeavor. 

    Be aware of where you excel in getting things done.  And note where you may need support to get better.  Don’t shy away from putting time and study into building your soft skills and administrative skills along with your business skills. 

    And do not hide from utilizing support if you have family, friends, former co-workers or a coach that can help sharpen the shortcomings of your entrepreneurial mindset that you still need to develop.

    Know what you are good at and exactly what you are not so that you do not permit your weaknesses to work against you on your progression forward.

    #4 Reduce the Stresses That You Can Control

    This will not be the first time you have heard to put 3 to 6 months of your salary aside to prepare for your future.  But you will also learn of many entrepreneurs who never had such luxury and still moved forward and became successful in their endeavors.

    There is no one right way.  And there is no perfectly successful path.  In all likelihood you are creating the perfect path specifically for you, even with a thousand mistakes along the way. That said, it can be of significant advantage for you to assess where your stress comes from and to head it off before it happens when possible.

    If you simply cannot focus if money is too short, then you may need to retain steady employment while pursuing your entrepreneurial goals. Working isolation may actually make you severely unproductive. So you may need to kick off your pursuits by joining networks and participating regularly in entrepreneur group events.

    Assess which concerns are most impactful to your productivity and create an action plan around them. Do not falsely convince yourself that your enthusiasm will outweigh your already established Achilles heel.  If you know that certain obstacles are substantial enough to take you from your path, then plan accordingly to ensure your long-term fortified success.

    #5 Be Your Biggest Supporter

    In reality, while your path may be littered with obstacles you will also have an amazing number of micro-wins and milestones met that are worth celebrating.

    It is here, in the small details, where you should stand with great commitment that you will leave no stone unturned.  Fine-tuning your entrepreneurial mindset to success is crafted by acknowledging what success means to you and reinforcing its value.

    This means that you define if it makes a difference when you pull together your first business plan.  Or when you are able to gain your first investor or customer, no matter how small. 

    Because you have a first-hand view of your business, you need to be the first and potentially biggest supporter of everything you do.  Do not wait for outside opinions to validate your worth or your work.  You are validation enough.

    Set time aside whether daily, weekly, monthly (or all three) to evaluate what you have accomplished and what it took to get it done.  From the very beginning set a priority to acknowledge your wins and learn your lessons from your challenges. 

    All parts of your journey are worth their weight in gold.  And when you reach the big milestones you will know what true gratitude and achievement feel like.  Because you did it, you truly watched it happen, and you demonstrated proof to yourself that you were capable of getting it done.


    Making the jump to become an entrepreneur can feel like a massive shift in your life and also a scary one.  It may seem unavoidable to suffer bumps along the way and no one truly wants to intentionally pain themselves.

    To ensure that you stand in strength with the right entrepreneurial mindset, it is important to evaluate your personal attributes as an entrepreneur as well as your personal obstacles.

    Note your skills, fortify your work ethic, and remember to celebrate every win that you can. 

    You have been inspired to take this leap forward so it is the right move.  Taking a solid self evaluation and building a toolbox of self-support can ensure that nothing will break your momentum forward.

    What are your biggest hurdles to building a strong mindset for your entrepreneurial journey? What inspiration have you received that shifted your prospective? Leave your feedback in the Comments! And forward this post to anyone you know who may benefit from some big jump support!!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Are You the Toxic One?  3 Key Signs that the Toxic Environment at Work is Actually YOU!

    Are You the Toxic One?  3 Key Signs that the Toxic Environment at Work is Actually YOU!

    Unfortunately, a toxic work environment is far too common of a complaint. 

    And equally unfortunate is that it is an experience that many are having every day.

    You may immediately say, “yeah, me too!”

    But what if You are the reason that the toxicity exists?

    We like to believe that toxic behavior comes from the obviously toxic other person.   Someone who is easily angered, constantly complaining, or otherwise creating an unwelcoming environment every day is clearly the problem.

    But it may be hard to accept that the “someone” can be you!

    The reality is that becoming toxic can sneak up on you.  You may have:

    • Stayed too long at a job that you have outgrown,
    • Bitten your tongue too often with a boss you don’t agree with,
    • Created a safety net of colleagues that are negative all the time or
    • Lost your boundaries between personal and business etiquette for a job you’ve been at forever

    And slowly, without realizing it, you have become part of the problem.

    Because you have tolerated or participated in unhealthy work experiences and relationships, you have allowed yourself to become a different person as a byproduct of these decisions.

    Now, from the outside looking in, you are the toxic one

    And you may not even know it!

    Here are 3 signs that You may be the toxic coworker creating a toxic work environment:

    #1 Constant Complaining

    signs of a toxic person at work

    You may not realize it but you complain about everything.

    • If your boss addresses the team, it is never delivered the right way. 
    • If the company initiates a new process, it’s never going to work.
    • No matter the action taken, you receive it as poorly executed or just not smart.

    In your mind, you may have a perfectly reasonable rationale for this thought. 

    IT’S TRUE!

    Related Post: How to Survive Working for a Boss You Hate

    You have been at the company long enough to see the issues time and time again:

    • A poorly executed communication from the top
    • A completely non-thought-out plan of action from your boss
    • Zero communication with the people who do the job every day before completely changing a process by some random project team

    You have seen ALL the signs!

    So why would calling it out suddenly be your fault!!

    The action may not be your fault. 

    But the constant reiterating and complaining for hours, days, or weeks can feel faulty to others and easily becomes another issue on top of everything else.

    If the problem is so pervasive, so consistent, and so obvious, others know it without your communicating it. 

    You do not have to be the mouthpiece for pointing out what everyone else can clearly see.

    How to Kick the Complaining Habit

    Instead of frowning, shaking your head, rolling your eyes, or just constantly, excessively, nauseatingly complaining, do something about it.

    It is leaps and bounds more productive to create a solution instead of belaboring the problem:

    • Champion a new process so that you can be a key communicator of its progress.  This can give you front-row seats to try something new, give you an opportunity to share positive outcomes, and also a channel to suggest changes based on actual data instead of just opinion.
    • Ask to speak with your boss privately and then ask if your boss is open to feedback on a problem you see.  Share your concerns in a thoughtful manner.  Focus your constructive criticism on the process, not on people, where possible.
    • Carefully consider any new processes, proposals, or communication to see if any positive changes have occurred since your last negative experience.  Look for and be genuinely optimistic for seeing even small positive progression.

    In all cases, it is better to be a part of the solution than to constantly reiterate a problem. 

    And it is even more productive to share concerns with people who can make positive changes than to complain to those who can only suffer with you and through you.

    You can choose to be a solutionist or risk the potential of creating a toxic environment by being a constant complainer.

    #2. Accidental Gossiping

    toxic work environment examples

    Private business and personal information often turn up in any work environment. 

    People talk about and share all facets of their life all the time.

    But any version of sharing information about another person in a negative or disparaging manner can be considered much more than just talk. Quite often it can be perceived as gossiping. 

    And when this occurs habitually it can become toxic.  

    Are you a habitual over-sharer?  Do you feel that when asked a question you must give the most comprehensive overview possible, even if it is not asked of you?

    Toxic over-sharing and gossiping can occur as a means to deflect blame, to create perceived superiority over others, or to generate a feeling of self-importance.

    Taking these types of actions at the expense of others can create a spirit of distrust and discomfort between you and your co-workers.

    How Do You Recognize If You Are an Accidental Gossip

    Have you done something like this before:

    Other Department: “Hey, can you let me know the status of those entries?  Just want to make sure I am ready for the next step when it hits my desk”

    You: “Oh yeah.  No problem.  I’ll be done soon.  Sally had to go to the school AGAIN for her son so she’s behind on her entries and I’m helping her out”. 

    What could have seemed like an innocent answer to a question, results in creating a highly uncomfortable situation. 

    This can make the receiving party uncomfortable and can make the person spoken about feel violated and exposed should they learn of the disclosure. 

    These types of accidental gossiping scenarios happen all the time. And when repeat instances occur and are not redirected, a toxic environment can ensue.

    To Avoid Being Perceived as a Gossip, Adopt Communication Sensitivity

    • Never share others’ personal information, even if you were not directly told to keep the information private. Just don’t share.
    • Be friendly but concise when responding to others’ inquiries.  Eliminate unnecessary details that are not asked explicitly to avoid unintentionally disclosing private, confidential, or inaccurate information.
    • Consider others when speaking on their behalf or about them.  Before you make a statement, imagine if the same statement was to be made about you.  Would you find it kind or hurtful?

    Being exposed to a gossiping work environment can make others feel embarrassed, unsafe, and targeted. 

    Hearing negative things about a co-worker can lead others to disengage with them, distrust them, or consider them incompetent.

    These experiences can cause those involved to have poor work relationships, feel disconnected from the business, and overall create a toxic work environment. 

    #3 Being Bitter

    what is a toxic employee

    All forms of toxicity are not overt.   Regularly practicing a lack of communication, lack of collaboration, or lack of cooperation can be toxic.

    But you may feel completely justified for your disposition.

    Maybe you received feedback regarding your perceived but inaccurately identified negative demeanor in the past. Or you feel that your input is never listened to or considered so to protect your emotions you decided to stop giving it.

    Over time you decide distance and quiet are your best and only resolutions.  But instead of being calm and content in your work, you are noticeably resentful and unapproachable:

    • You shrug your shoulders and turn away when you don’t know an answer.
    • You point to where your boss or co-worker is instead of verbally communicating their location.
    • You make a point to offer zero communication in any meeting or discussion in which you are asked to participate.

    It is impossible for anyone to not know that you are mad about something all the time! 

    But in your mind, you are avoiding a problem versus causing one. (Since you seem to always cause a problem anyway).

    How Do You Communicate When According to Everyone Else You Seem to Always Get It Wrong?

    There are times when you may need to be different than the otherwise happy-go-lucky, chipper team member that others expect. 

    You may have recently been reprimanded, had a terrible meeting, or even suffered private concerns at home that essentially make you feel bad.

    You cannot always put on a happy face when you are internally struggling with something. However, when you hold on too long to a bitter disposition, like it or not, it affects your work.

    Part of being at work is showing up fully. 

    And if you work in an environment with others, part of showing up fully is interacting with others…..productively.

    Even if you keep your interactions brief and to the point, you can still be a collaborative, cooperative,  and communicative team member.

    Improve How You Connect with Others

    • Give good eye contact when responding to questions.  Addressing a person eye-to-eye is a sign of respect and attentiveness
    • Speak in full sentences and not with one-word answers or gestures.  This ensures that others are clear regarding your input.  And provides an opportunity for follow-up communication should it be warranted.
    • Be approachable.  If you cannot be warm, at least provide a neutral tone of voice.  Being overtly stern, annoyed, or dismissive can be interpreted as uncooperative. 

    While anyone can have a bad day and in severe circumstances even bad weeks or months, the goal is to do your part to be a productive part of your team.

    If behaving in a cooperative and collaborative manner just is too much, explore taking time off from work.  Or, if possible, actively work toward correcting the issue(s) that is causing you concern.

    Constant isolation and portraying a disgruntled behavior becomes toxic when you become so shut down that others become unproductive and overly distracted by your behavior. 

    You may think that you are making yourself invisible and unimpactful but, in fact, you are creating a very noticeably toxic environment.

    Consider This: You Could Legitimately Become Toxic Because of a Toxic Work Environment

    how to fix a toxic work environment

    It may be unsettling to discover that you have become the cause of someone else suffering a toxic work environment.

    But there may also have been a time when you were victim to toxic surroundings and could have easily listed these traits in someone else.

    If you have started to become a product of a toxic environment, it may be an important time to make a change:

    • Explore and examine how you interact with others and ask for feedback from those you trust to be transparent and honest with you.
    • Track your mental and emotional status at the beginning and end of your work day and see if you have a pattern of being frustrated, annoyed, or disgruntled about work regularly.
    • Watch for the behaviors described in this post or other negative behaviors that you feel are out of character for you.  Determine if work triggers these new behaviors from you.

    You can become a product of your environment, but you don’t have to. 

    Take Accountability for the Work Life You Want to Have

    You always have the ability to decide who you want to be and how you want to experience your work life:

    • Reflect on the type of work environment and work experience that is ideal for you and make changes to incorporate more of your desires into your daily work
    • Examine who you spend your time with at work and consider making changes if you have inadvertently fallen into a negative crowd
    • Confront the reality of whether or not you have become complacent with staying at a job that you otherwise should have left already.  It may be time to make a job change.  Read my post on How to Know It’s Time for a Job Change and start working toward a more positive future for yourself.

    No one wants to be part of a problem.  But you can always choose to create solutions. 

    You should not create a toxic work environment or be at the mercy of the one around you.  Have a better work-life by choosing to take action to have one.


    No one wants to work in a toxic environment.  And, hopefully, no one wants to be responsible for creating the toxic environment that others work in.

    We all have opportunities for improvement. 

    But if you ignore your bad habits and repetitively adopt poor behavior, you can become the cause of the discomfort, anxiety, and stress in others.  You are the toxic environment at your job.

    Reflect on who you are, how you behave, and what you want to be.  Take time to improve what you can or to make the personal changes you need to be part of solutions and not part of the problem.

    You do not have to be the toxicity in your work environment.

    If you are looking for more ways to reexamine, recreate, or really improve your work life, read these other posts:

    How to FEEL YOUR SOUL in Life and at Work

    5 Reasons You Want to Quit Your Job When Maybe You Shouldn’t

    How to Survive Working for a Boss You Hate

    If you have ideas on improving your connection with others at work or would like to explore more on the topic, please leave a Comment below!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    How to Change Your Mindset When You’re Just Not Mentally Ready to Work

    How to Change Your Mindset When You’re Just Not Mentally Ready to Work

    Whether it is after a hard week at work, a beautiful weekend, a vacation, or a leave of absence, sometimes you just don’t feel work ready.

    It likely is a mindset thing. And, yes, mindset does matter. 

    When your thoughts tell you that work simply is not what you want to do, work can be the hardest thing to do.  Even if you know you have to do it.

    Taking time to focus on your mindset can cure feelings of dread, anxiety, stress, or disdain for your job.  It can also improve your disposition as it relates to who you work for, who you work with, and what you do.

    Left unattended, however, you may question if you should ever go back to work.

    Before things go too far, or you settle into a pattern that you can’t get yourself out of, focus now on changing your work mindset for the better.

    How Did Your Work Mindset Get SO Bad?

    how to change your mindset to positive

    There are so many jokes, memes, and therapist offices filled with complaints about work.  The idea of not liking your job or anything related to work is not new.

    No matter the reason that work does not work for you, your mindset is always a big part of the equation.

    Somewhere down the line, you have permitted a subtle opinion or occasional idea of your dislike of work to become a repetitive thought. The repetition of thought has now become your belief.  And once you have developed a belief, you have essentially created a new truth or reality for yourself.

    Your job is not where you want to be.

    Seamlessly, your thoughts, emotions, experiences, and surroundings support your anti-work belief.  You have tons of data that validate the lack of alignment with your job.

    When you get to this stage, it is hard to just believe something different.  Your belief is set and your mindset tells you that your job being bad is a reality; it’s just a fact.

    Is It Normal to Not Want to Go to Work?

    Yes and no.  It is common that people do not want to go to work for a host of reasons that boil down to not enjoying the experience.  And while the reasons may be diverse, the dissatisfied feeling becomes the thread that binds people together.

    Work and dissatisfaction are deemed expected, or normal.

    But just because complaining about work is common does not mean that it should be accepted as normal. And, therefore, you don’t have to accept it as normal to not want to go to work. 

    It is equally possible and probable to enjoy the work that you do, the company you work for, the person you report to, and your job overall. 

    The issue commonly is that individuals have learned to normalize not enjoying their job. You may have been exposed to others who do not enjoy their job. Or you may have regularly heard that work is just that “work”, something that is hard, that is unfortunate, and is an unfortunate necessity.

    With these exposures over time, you become accustomed to hearing, seeing, and experiencing work as a poor experience. The classic misery loves company phenomenon.

    But when you decide that dreading work is an experience you do not want to be normal for you, you can alternatively choose thoughts and actions that create an optimistic and productive work mindset.

    With the mindset that your work experience can be better than the one you’ve heard about, or even better than the one that you are currently experiencing, you can search for and create solutions to produce a better outcome.

    How Do I Get a Better Mindset About Work?

    Because every work experience is different for everyone, the best place to start to change your work mindset is to examine your personal vision of work.

    In the short term, you may have an opinion that I would be happy if this would just stop or if this person would just treat me better. 

    But going beyond your immediate pain point can render you a much better long-term resolution to your anti-work disposition.

    Self-Assessment Can Redefine Your Work Mindset

    Instead of focusing on your resistance to where you are, take time to learn more about where you truly want to be.  Even if you cannot change your current circumstances, self-assessment is a healthy means to gain clarity of your goals and feel more in control of your intended outcomes.

    When you can envision and understand your goals, you are more likely to achieve them. And to have a positive mindset regarding the job that you prefer.

    • What do you want to gain from working?

    • How do you define success in a job?

    • What skills do you have that you would enjoy using regularly?

    • Are you motivated to work right now? And if not, why not?

    The list of exploratory questions related to your work preferences and your work mindset is endless. 

    For additional things to consider regarding your ideal job, read my posts on How to Know It’s Time for a Job Change or How to Get the Job You Really Want.

    Regardless of the method, develop your picture of what job you want to have and then evaluate what you do now against your ideal expectations.

    Undergoing this process will put you on the path to attaining a better mindset by aligning with what you truly want. 

    What If Your Ideal Job and Your Current Job Are Close

    If your current job includes any part of your vision for your ideal job, use this to create a better work mindset by reinforcing the positives about the job you have.

    You may have room to grow toward obtaining the ideal job.

    But the experiences that you have available to you now fall in line with where you want to go.

    Try to limit your focus on what is wrong or explore ways to improve your current work life.

    Accentuate regularly to yourself how much you truly gain from your job and plan your steps forward toward your ultimate vision.

    What If Your Current Job and Your Ideal Job Are Miles Apart

    If you find that your current job is nowhere near your ideal vision, then at least you have identified exactly where you stand.

    You may be in the completely wrong role and need to leave your job. Or you may have the best job but work in a toxic environment.

    No matter the reason, you will need to be strategic and plan your way to bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be.

    In the interim of your transition of improvement, consider ways to minimize the impact of your current environment on your mindset:

    • Engage with positive, like-minded co-workers who are working toward progression in their career

    • Explore opportunities to learn outside of your core job responsibilities through others, volunteering for projects or committees, or studying in your free time

    • Start working on your exit plan and create a countdown calendar of tasks that lead you to the path you prefer to be on

    • Find other aspects of your job to find interim joy in like the built friendships, special events, mindset mentors, or even your productive use of your commute

    And, in the interim, release the need to look to your current job to be better than what you already confirmed it can’t be. 

    So stop dumping your emotions and energy into trying to change what it is. 

    Until you settle the lack of alignment between the job you want to have and the one that you are currently doing, you will always find some level of discomfort in what you are doing today.

    How Do I Sustain a Positive Mindset at Work?

    Ironically, no matter if your current job is close to your ideal or not, you can find yourself with a poor mindset regarding going to work. 

    A negative work mindset is born the moment you have one seriously poor experience at work, a host of small disconnected moments, or anything in between. 

    You must take an active role in deciding that you want to be positive about work and then do what is necessary to achieve it.

    Wayne Dyer, a former author and long-time motivational speaker, had a quote that sums it all:

    “If you change the way you look at things,
    the things you look at change.”

    Wayne Dyer

    Changing your mindset about work is essentially changing the way that you look at things at work. No one can change your outlook for you. But you can choose to change it for yourself.

    Changing the Direction of Your Thoughts

    If you are in alignment (or mostly in alignment) with your ideal work experience, then you may have an easier means to shift your mindset.

    Accept first that no work environment will be perfect every day.

    And, when reflecting on how close your current job is to your ideal job, really take in the total value of your job to your life.

    Other actions you can take to make a difference to your positive work mindset are to:

    • Focus on what you gain from your job instead of what you have lost in a singular moment
    • Communicate your needs and allow others a chance to support you if possible
    • Look internally when bad situations arise and take an honest review if you are being overly sensitive or critical

    • Expect the best from others instead of looking for proof of their failures
    • Practice self-care at work and utilize tactics like healthy use of boundaries, maintaining reasonable work hours, or communicating authentically as a means to reduce stress and improve your optimism

    Using these methods and regularly looking for the positive aspects of your job, can reframe your thinking and train you to a positive work mindset.

    For a job that is essentially what you want but that is rough around the edges at times, practicing the serenity prayer can do a lot.

    Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other

    serenity prayer

    How Can I Be Positive If I Am in the Wrong Job?

    how do you change your mindset

    If your self-assessment regarding your ideal job has uncovered that you are in the completely wrong place, then consider this as a positive.

    You may not have the ideal circumstance today, but you do have the ideal vision.

    Now, with a clear model in mind, you can take steps to achieve the dream that you want to have instead of suffering a reality that does not serve you.

    Use this knowledge as motivation and a positive outlook that you have a clear goal and means to create meaningful direction.

    In the interim of making positive change for yourself, it is also imperative to maintain as much of a positive work mindset that you can muster. 

    You take you with you wherever you go. 

    That said, you want to project the mindset and disposition to match the place that you want to be, even if it may take you some time to get there.

    Until you are in the position to change your job, your department, or any other transitions to put your closer to your ideal working environment:

    • Practice regular self-care of your mental, physical and spiritual health. When you are fatigued in any of these areas you are more prone to be dissatisfied and irritable in all areas of your life.

    • Create clear milestones from where you are to where you want to be. Achieving even mini-wins towards your true goals can shift your focus from what is going wrong to what you are doing right.

    • If it’s time, develop your exit plan. Start putting the pieces together to remove yourself from what is not working and feel relief that you are actively working toward better.

    For help with tackling your resume, take a look at my guide, Tools for the Best Resume Rebuild Ever.


    Changing your work mindset can be difficult when it seems like every day you walk into a headache. And when you take a much-needed break, it can be even harder to get into the mindset to even want to go to work .

    Know that the power to change your work mindset always rests in your hands, even if it takes time to build the muscle.

    Identify what you want to get out of work, reflect on what may be working for you with where you are today, and plan positively for your future.

    Take care of your needs and relieve yourself of the expectation that anyone else will. As you work diligently on hitting the milestones leading to the work-life you prefer, your work mindset will improve and being positive will be much easier to do.

    Do you have any special tips and tricks to improve your work mindset? Or maybe you have a unique situation that seems well beyond what a positive work mindset can cure. Leave your comments below so we can share ways to get in a better place today!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    How to Accelerate Your Burnout Recovery and Regain Your Motivation

    How to Accelerate Your Burnout Recovery and Regain Your Motivation

    Are you in serious need of burnout recovery and at the same time looking for some serious motivation to move forward?

    Burnout and motivation could appear to be the furthest things away from each other.  But it is possible to transition from burnout to motivation and get yourself back on track.

    Any time you put serious effort towards your goals or your dreams, you have a serious potential for burnout.  Balance can get lost when you have tunnel vision on your objectives. 

    And when you feel like you have nothing left to give, motivation seems to take more energy than you have.

    Take time to reassess your path forward from exactly where you are. 

    You can recover from your burnout, build your motivation, and regain your productivity towards your goals.  But you may have to take it one step at a time.

    How Did You Get Burned Out from a Goal You Actually Wanted?

    It feels like every day another expert is sharing all the glory of working on your goals.

    The best methods to create them, how to make them SMART, and all the improvement benefits to your life at the hands of productivity towards what you want.

    You followed the proper process, selected the top priority, and put your whole heart and soul into your vision of achievement.

    The issue is the very thing that motivated you to move is the same thing that has now forced you to stop.

    Burnout does not mean that you no longer want your goal. However, burnout is when you allow your energy output toward your goal to exceed your energy input. 

    And be clear that this energy imbalance can be physical, emotional, or mental energy-related.  It can even be all three.

    Regardless of what part of you feels depleted, your tank has gone beyond empty. 

    When your normal and backup energy reserves fall short, you start to pull from other parts of you in likely unhealthy ways.

    As a result, you become even more fatigued and have even less energy to move forward.  

    In recognition of your tank depletion and your lack of goal achievement, you now have no choice but to see and accept your burnout status.

    So let’s take a look at where you can go from here to initiate your burnout recovery and revive your motivation:

    #1  Surrender

    how to recover from burnout at work

    This may be the hardest step. 

    Even when you know that you are in bad shape, something inside keeps you moving forward.

    It is that same part of you that has moved you forward this whole time. 

    And it is that special spark that is the most magnificent piece of the human spirit.  How can you give up on what you know you are being called to do?

    But the strongest people make the hardest decision based on the best logic that they can derive. 

    Even if it is not what you feel like doing, surrendering may be the smartest decision to make.

    Surrendering is stopping. 

    • Stop moving. 
    • Quit thinking and planning. 
    • Pause the momentum that is moving you forward. 
    • Pull the emergency break.

    Just by stopping you signal to your mind and body that you have listened and will tend to its needs. 

    Even if not fully relaxed, you permit an opening for ease to slip in, remove tension, decompress and begin the burnout recovery process.

    #2 Take Inventory of Your Status

    how to recover from emotional burnout

    Burnout can be an overused word and an under-explained concept when describing your specific condition.  

    You can say that you are burned out and actually be physically fatigued. 

    Another symptom associated with burnout is severe mental fog or lack of clear thinking.

    You can also be burned out through emotional exhaustion, where feelings like stress, anxiety, hopelessness, and irritability combine and short-circuit your system.

    No matter what your version of burnout looks and feels like, you must define it for yourself.

    And this can be difficult.  Because you are in the middle of the total burnout phase and likely would rather move away from it than stop and look at it closer.

    Burnout recovery starts with recognition and acknowledgment.

    You cannot address a problem that you cannot identify. 

    And you cannot cure an ailment if you don’t know what it is.

    Whether you write it down, say it aloud, or share it with a friend or confidant, it’s time to take a moment and state what exactly is wrong.

    When you can identify the exact form of burnout that you are experiencing you will be in a better position to address burnout recovery well.

    #3  Heal Your Burnout Wounds

    how to regain motivation after burnout

    The level of healing and burnout recovery will directly correspond with the level of breakdown you have experienced.

    No matter the level or severity, whether perceived as big or small, you must heal.

    Healing is filling your cup and replacing what you have exhausted in your energy tanks.

    • Take a period of mental rest
    • Sleep
    • Eat
    • Rally resources for support
    • Exercise for mental clarity
    • Bathe as a form of relaxation

    Take any action and as many actions that lead to your physical, mental and emotional replenishment. 

    With your base level healing in place and repeated as often as necessary, you can well prepare yourself for reigniting your motivation.

    Do not take the position that this process should occur rapidly. This is a statement best served by quality and not speed.

    Practice extreme self-awareness in observing your shift from burnout to an improved state of health and well-being. Before you undergo any additional pressures related to moving toward your goals be sure that you are in a state to withstand the journey.

    #4  Reset Your Path

    While you may be attached to your methods and your progression, you must abandon your past plan and set a new path.  

    This may be hard to imagine because it is your plan that you have been diligently following this whole time to reach your goals.

    But it is this plan that led you down a path of burnout and the crushing reality of your need for burnout recovery.  

    In order to meet your goals, you must have two things:  1) a clear vision of what you want and 2) a clear plan to get there.   Both your vision and your plan must include you.

    Start to rebuild your plan with yourself in mind:

    • Is your goal realistic and achievable for you?
    • Do you need other support or resources?
    • Does your timeline give you adequate time to complete all intended steps?
    • Can you execute your plan while maintaining your mental, physical, and emotional health?

    Now that you have considered these questions, you can reset your path toward your goal and know that your new plan is fully comprehensive.

    Your new trajectory is to achieve your goal, avoid burnout, and to become better through the process of fulfilling your vision.

    #5:  Evaluate Your Readiness to Start Again

    When you have a goal that you have a strong passion to complete, every moment in inaction can feel like an eternity.

    But unless you are ready for the road ahead, moving forward too fast can only serve to set you back.

    Evaluate all the tools in your toolbox meant to serve you on your journey.  This includes your mental, physical and emotional well-being. 

    Review your plan again and ensure that you have what you need to execute it.

    Be accountable to not only your finished goal but your journey to get there. 

    Motivation and productivity cannot be achieved with a broken spirit and incomplete plan.

    #6  Get Motivated

    how to overcome burnout and stay motivated

    You are present, and your goal is in hand, but you need one more component to get yourself to the finish line. 

    You must be motivated.

    Sometimes the biggest casualty of your burnout is the breakdown of your spirit.

    And how do you stand on the strength of what has been broken and put back together?

    You can gain influence from others and use 101 tools outside of yourself.  But the single most impactful lift to your spirit and renewal of your motivation comes from you.

    • You have to believe that you can achieve your goals.
    • You must have faith that you can recover and thrive after your burnout.
    • The vision you have created must be real to you.

    How Do You Motivate Yourself ?

    Motivation is built on your beliefs.  You are motivated when you believe in yourself.

    To build confidence in what you are capable of, you must see yourself first as capable.

    Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

    helen keller

    Take the time to take inventory of yourself, your accomplishments, your skills, your vision, and your drive. 

    • Why did you create your goal to begin with?
    • How did you get motivated to start on your path the first time?
    • What challenges have you already overcome?
    • What did you learn from past failures?
    • How did you manage to heal from your burnout?
    • What have you learned about yourself and your will to start again?
    • Why are you still pursuing this goal?
    • How will you feel when you achieve it?

    You are the key factor that fuels your motivation.  It is your drive that moved you forward before and even propelled you past your limits.

    And while you want to move forward in better balance this time, you have living proof that you possess motivation, passion, momentum, and unbelievable drive at your core.

    Believe in what you can do because of what you have done

    And realize that your past is only a part of your story.

    You have serious motivation within you. 

    And at any moment on your journey when you need to be reminded, revisit these questions, proclaim your answers, and reclaim your position as being good enough and strong enough to move ahead.


    Burnout can be the nemesis of motivation and drain you of your will to move forward.

    Take the time to focus on yourself, engage in a burnout recovery plan, and surrender to the pause of your goal progression.

    When you allow yourself to reboot and reset your objectives, you can create an even stronger plan toward your goals that keeps you healthy, whole, AND accomplished.

    As you review the milestones that you have already achieved and continue to hit more of them, you will fuel the motivation needed to accomplish your vision with pride.

    Did any recommendation stand out to you on burnout and motivation? If so, I would love to hear your input. Please share in the Comments section below.

    Check Out These Posts and learn other ways to live the life worth living:

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You May Be Casting Spells at Work (even a little Black Magic) and Don’t Even Know It!

    You May Be Casting Spells at Work (even a little Black Magic) and Don’t Even Know It!

    Casting spells and other works of divination have had a resurgence of interest by many. 

    Some have a devotion to these practices.

    Now you may not be one to cast a spell or have any interest in magical ways, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t practice them.

    Actually, you may have been spellcasting even today, and didn’t even realize it!

    People often do things without realizing the power in what they do.

    Mindlessly you can fall in with the crowd and not know the origin of the things that you think, do, or say.

    Do you know the difference between affirmations and incantations?

    Funny how they both involve repeating, almost chanting, words to promote a specific outcome.

    How different is the definition of visualizing and conjuring

    They both take a form of concentration, focus, and bringing things to mind, right?

    Magic may be surrounded by ritual, ceremony, and mystery. 

    But many of the basic steps are ones that we do every day.

    Take into account the true power of your thoughts, words, and actions. 

    When you do, you will see that you do a lot more than what you think you do.

    For this reason, it is important to be mindful. Pay real attention to your daily practices.

    Seriously, you may literally be casting spells.  Even at work! And have no clue that you’re doing it.

    # 1 Projecting Negative Images (or Talking Negatively Behind Someone’s Back)

    via GIPHY

    The power of mental projection or manipulating reality can be considered a magical power.

    Not everyone possesses this gift and ability.

    In its simplest form, it involves altering the thoughts and impressions of others and changing what they see as true.

    You are the wielder of this power when you reconfigure others’ thinking to match your own.

    Have you been casting this spell?

    via GIPHY

    There is an art in creating imagery and using it to influence others. 

    Even if what you share is based on fact, the real power is in your use of the details and application of your influence.

    Steps you may take without even thinking are things like:

    • Capturing others’ individual attention privately so as not to have others muddy the opinions you share or offer counter opinions

    • Establishing how wrong a person is against what others believe to be an irrefutable wrong or right. This method makes it completely logical for others to agree with you in condemning the other person.

    • Invoking emotion regarding the perspective. Anger, shock, sincere disappointment. Once a specific person has had their character demonized, invoking emotion will further align others with your negative imagery.

    • Stating your argument repeatedly. The more you repeat the concern, cite more evidence, and stir the pot, the more people see things your way. The key here is acting repeatedly until the new imagery is cast and accepted by everyone that you intend to convince.

    via GIPHY

    In short, create an image, demonstrate convincing proof, invoke emotion, and repetitively inject the new imagery you desire. 

    Poof! You have put your spell in motion.

    You may see these steps as simply telling the truth or venting out your concerns.

    Opening others’ eyes to the reality of someone else’s ill-doing is only serving the greater good.

    In reality, you are wielding your power to influence others, changing their thinking and focus, and making them align with your point of view. 

    Is this spell casting? Or just a normal day of gossip in the office?

    Be mindful of what you do or, possibly unintentionally, you could be doing much, much more.

    #2 Cursing Someone (or Wishing That Someone Gets What They Give)

    via GIPHY

    Have you been subject to someone treating you poorly at work?

    You may have had rumors spread about your, been set up for failure on a project, or actually tattled on for coming in late. 

    And, yes, all of this at work and not in high school!

    Once you identified your nemesis, you may have wished for karmic consequences for their actions:

    • “That’s okay.  They’ll get what they’ve got coming to them”

    • “Her day will come”

    • “It’s all fun and games until it’s your turn”

    • “Someone will give them just what they gave me”

    These statements alone are not powerful enough to create an immediate effect (unless you are more practiced than you realize!)

    But when you seem to be almost at war with a co-worker or higher up, you may find yourself making these comments over and over again.

    You may even envision a perfectly negative outcome that they well-deserve.

    via GIPHY

    Seeing them make a mistake, you may silently wish that someone important finds out.

    Hearing them lie, you may quietly pray for the truth to come to the surface and you watch them fall from grace.

    Just tired of their presence, you may wish for them to get fired.

    You may feel completely justified because of their behavior, but not realize that you have gone well beyond their negativity with your own.

    You may not be chanting in the corner or picturing them in physical harm, but you subconsciously stay fixated on their karmic lessons coming to the surface.

    But this makes it no less of a curse.

    If you believe that this is not your nature, be mindful of your thoughts and actions. 

    Be careful of what you wish for because you might just get it!

    If you really feel in conflict with someone else, be brave enough to confront it.

    Don’t wish the worst, but work toward the best outcome.

    Otherwise, you may be putting bad intentions on their path without even knowing it.  

    3. Incantation (or Problem Obsession)

    If incantation involves the repetition of words for the purpose of creating a specific outcome, what happens when you obsessively say negative things to yourself?

    • Why am I terrible at this? Why am I terrible at this?  Why in the world am I so terrible at this?

    • This always happens to me.  This always happens to me.  This always happens to me!

    • I know they want to fire me.  I know they want to fire me.  I know they want to fire me.

    And the list can go on and on.

    The power of incantation, in this way, can be the same as drinking a slow-acting poison.

    via GIPHY

    Each time that you recite your words you create another slice of life that is similar to the words you say.

    At first, you develop your pattern. 

    You find a series of words or phrases that identify well with the negative thoughts and emotions that you want to express.

    Then you start creating an evidence trail by restating your words every time a like situation or emotional status occurs.

    Soon you find yourself in a worse and worse position.  Otherwise meaningless events now have substantial meaning and prove your lack of worth and failure.

    You begin to believe in your words and phrases and they define the life that you live at work.

    via GIPHY

    You may not fail at your project, but you also do not do your best.

    You’re still employed, but your performance steadily declines.

    The fearful image of your demise becomes your frightful reality.

    You have effectively cast a spell upon yourself through the power of incantation.

    Take the opportunity to become aware of these unproductive patterns.

    Mindfully change the direction of your thoughts and, most importantly, your words.

    Use the power of repetition and create a pattern of positive, hopeful, and optimistic words that encourage you instead of breaking yourself down.

    4. Casting the Evil Eye (or Spreading Your Bad Attitude)

    via GIPHY

    This likely is an event that happens to everyone.

    You cannot hide the look on your face when you see someone you sincerely do not like come into the room.

    Some may do it intentionally, but, honestly, others just wear their emotion all over their face. 

    The person who burns a hole through your soul walks by, and casually talks to other people, and your eyes follow them with a piercing gaze.

    On one hand, you say you could care less that they are in the room.  On the other hand, you feel compelled to watch their every move until they are completely away from you.

    In addition to the cold silent stare oozing from your eyes, your mind cannot be controlled from remembering all the reasons you cannot stand this person.

    via GIPHY

    It may not even be anything that they have done to you. 

    You simply don’t like what they are about.

    Your thoughts, your emotions, and most of all your glance upon them, all invoke a stale, displeasure that borders between disgust and hate.

    You have cast the spell of the evil eye.

    And potentially without realizing you have projected negative images, cursed their very existence, and wished the worse through incantation all at the same time!

    This is the power of disfavor, it can control you and change the disposition of the person on whom you place your focus.

    But realize, it didn’t have to!

    via GIPHY

    What you may not realize is that you are projecting your emotions through your energy, your posture, and your facial reactions toward another person that they then absorb.

    This may have never been their intention but they, unfortunately, took in what you feed them repeatedly.

    Now, you feel a sense of distance and disdain because the other person is reacting to your attitude and displeasure.

    In fact, you are receiving exactly what you’ve been giving.

    Be mindful of what you would prefer to happen instead of concentrating on what has already happened.

    Put forth effort in promoting a new future that will include peaceful interactions at work.

    And see if you can cast your vision in a different, more productive, direction that benefits everyone.


    Casting a spell is not just for witches and warlocks. 

    via GIPHY

    People who follow no ceremony or dogma whatsoever may still be invoking and projecting power upon themselves or others.

    The reality is that you may possess and use power without even realizing it on a daily basis. 

    And the location does not matter.  It could be at home, within your neighborhood, or even at work.

    Ignorance of an action does not mean that it cannot happen.  

    And lack of intention does not render the action powerless. 

    You may just have no idea what you are doing and the power in the actions you take.

    So be mindful. 

    Be intentional. 

    And most of all be aware of what you think, do, or say. 

    Accept that you are powerful and play an active part in the life that you live.

    When you do, you can choose the best version of the life you want and do it on purpose.  

    Have you been accidentally casting spells at work? Tell us your version in the Comments section below.

    Looking for more ways to master your mindfulness at work. Take a look at these posts:

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    5 Highly Effective Ways to Overcome Self Doubt at Work

    5 Highly Effective Ways to Overcome Self Doubt at Work


    Even when you feel utterly uncomfortable, it is possible to overcome self doubt at work.

    But when you are in the clutches of discomfort, it can make you feel like it will never end.

    Self doubt can come to you like a silent storm. 

    At first, you sense a small gut feeling that something’s not right.  And then, all of the sudden, you are caught in a downpour of self-sabotage, negative self-talk, overthinking, and second-guessing.

    Even if you are not someone who often gets off track, when true self doubt comes you can feel completely scattered, unfocused, and defeated.

    Self doubt is normal. But it doesn’t have to be your norm.

    Don’t let self doubt hold you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish.

    Here are some tips to overcome self doubt and become more confident in your work.

    “Our doubts are traitors,
    and make us lose the good we oft might win,
    by fearing to attempt.”

    William Shakespeare

    1. Be Honest with Yourself

    You can attempt to give a confident impression to the outside world (and sometimes you should).

    But you always want to admit to yourself when you are experiencing self doubt. 

    Being authentic with yourself gives you the opportunity to assess the full situation. Pause, inquire within about the source of your concerns, and attempt to address them.

    • Have you been given a new project and just aren’t sure where to start?
    • Do you know what to do, but are afraid you may fail?
    • Is it that you have an idea that you believe is solid, but you are concerned others will not approve of it?

    Knowing your core issues of concern can give you an opportunity to focus and address the problem head-on. 

    If you don’t know where to start, maybe reflect on a project you did well in the past and examine why and how. 

    Speak confidently to yourself and know that even if you don’t know, you are competent enough to figure things out.

    And sometimes it is simply worth taking the risk on yourself, moving forward, and learning from your experience.

    Do your best and you can always feel satisfied that you put forth your best effort regardless of the outcome.

    Be honest with yourself regarding fears, concerns, or areas of opportunity.  Then work diligently to respond, react, and resolve your concerns. 

    By taking productive action to calm your fears and resolve your worries, you can remove self doubt and build better confidence in yourself.

    2. Get Support

    how to conquer self doubt

    When you are suffering from self doubt, look to others you trust to support you through it.

    You may have an entire resource bank of family members, trusted friends, or co-workers who can help with the issues that you are confronting.

    Other people may have dealt with the exact issue that you are facing and minimally can make you feel as if you are not alone in your dilemma. 

    You do not want to lean on a “misery-loves-company” campaign. 

    how to work on self doubt
    Even your best supporters can be a contributor to your problem if all they do is confirm your problems.

    Instead, look for those who inspire a sense of hope from people you respect and admire. You may be surprised to learn that they have insecurities too.  

    Through these positive influencers, you may find evidence that it is possible to move from self doubt to self-empowerment.

    In addition to those you know personally, it can be tremendously impactful to lean on different motivational speakers, social media influencers, podcasters, and more. Often they will remind you that self-doubt is commonly an ingredient of success. So put your focus on learning from the experience instead of suffering through the experience.

    To gain the right support for your self doubt from others, it is important to be open about your concerns. 

    And, also, to be receptive to the guidance that you are provided to soften your anxiety.

    Even if you are not sure that others’ advice is applicable, be patient to listen. You may learn a new method for calming your self doubt that you never considered on your own.

    3. Take Small Steps

    The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step

    Lao Tzu

    Challenging work can be the cornerstone to feelings of self doubt.

    Have you found yourself with more on your plate than anyone could conceivably do?

    No matter if you have loaded your own plate or someone else did, the outcome is the same.  You lose confidence, fill yourself with doubt, and even give up before you start.

    When the pile is high and the list is long, it is important to start small.  

    Don’t try to tackle everything at once.

    Instead, take baby steps toward your goal.

    Start with one thing at a time.

    The goal then is two-fold.  One, get the small things done, And, two, feel the benefits of momentum and building confidence by getting things more and more things done.

    It is hard to have self doubt when you are on a winning streak. 

    So create a path of small steps that keep you winning and erase concerns of self doubt at the same time.

    4. Keep Learning

    self improvement through learning

    If you have self doubt because you don’t know something, then figure out the best way for you to learn.

    Never before have there been so many ways to learn new information and skills.

    Sometimes the information or practice that you need is very specific to your current place of business. Take a vested interest in spending time with others who are more knowledgeable that work around you.

    So long as others have time to share, most people love when others take a real interest in their job. 

    Simply ask questions and gain answers.

    tips to overcome self doubt

    There are many who will take the route of formal education with college courses, certifications, conferences, or training in certain fields.

    These are excellent options for learning and broadening your network of individuals to learn from and share what you have learned.

    There are also other vehicles that are more easily accessible and less costly depending on your field of interest.

    • Skillshare is an online educational platform with thousands of classes on a wide range of subjects for those interested in creative fields.  With an active membership, you have an open field of opportunity to try different courses and complete as many as you want.

    This is an excellent opportunity to gain new skills or to expand upon existing skills. 

    And what truly helps is that you can browse and find the right personality, teaching style, and instruction type that fits you personally.

    • MasterClass is another online educational platform boasting an impressive list of courses and a wide range of subjects from economics to writing to business strategy and personal branding. 

    In addition to gaining access to a diversified field of subjects with well-crafted course content, you have the added benefit of learning from the absolute leaders in the respective fields. 

    Pulitzer Prize winners, Nobel Prize winners, best-selling authors, Grammy Award winners, and more.

    The curated information is presented in an engaging style and often marries the share of information with a more in-depth and behind-the-scenes view of the presenter.  This not only makes the information shared more intriguing but makes learning that much more engaging, entertaining, and fun.

    Choose the method of learning that best suits you.  As you learn more and adopt your learnings to what you do, you will increase your confidence level along with your skill and abilities. 

    Learning is the key to expanding your knowledge and also to diminishing your self-doubt concerns.

    5. Give Yourself Permission to Fail

    I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

    Thomas A. Edison

    The hardest thing to do when you fear failing is to admit to yourself that you really may fail.  But self doubt becomes stronger when you avoid the truth.

    In reality, even experts can fail.  And most often the biggest successes have learned the most through their failures.

    So learning to fail and then continue to move forward can be one of the best skills for you to learn.

    Do not let fear stop you from trying new things.

    Work to overcome self doubt if it leads you to hold yourself back.

    Manage your negative self-talk if it distracts you from your goals.

    And learn to take risks so that you can teach yourself all the ways that you succeed.

    You will succeed by working hard, and you will succeed by making processes easier.  It is possible for you to fail and also to recover. 

    Or you may fail and never do that same thing ever again!

    Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

    Napolean Hill

    All the roads that you take after risk and failure lead you to know yourself better.

    You can conquer self-doubt when you know yourself well enough to believe that you can thrive in any situation.   


    Self doubt is something we all face at some time. 

    However, to gain the success that you desire at work, it is important to find ways to conquer it when it comes.  

    Gain better insight into yourself by exploring the specific reasons you feel doubtful.  And discover ways to overcome self doubt by finding support from others or challenging yourself to address your concerns.

    Self doubt can be diminished by actively working to build confidence in yourself. 

    You can build confidence by learning more through others, studying independently, or even picking yourself back up after a failure.

    While the road to success may include failure, stress, and self doubt, this does not mean that you must suffer through every challenge.  Trust that self doubt is truly something that can be overcome.

    Looking for more inspiration on being your best at work? Take a look at these posts:

    And subscribe to learn more ways to be your best at work and at home!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    How to Find Yourself Again When Your Job Has Changed You

    How to Find Yourself Again When Your Job Has Changed You

    A Journey of Self Discovery

    How did you get here? 

    You work at a job you don’t like, for a boss you can’t stand, and look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself.

    The conversations you have at work include fake smiles and mindless commentary.  You never feel safe enough to express your real opinions.  And you entertain people, meetings, projects, and events that you could care less about.

    When did you make the decision to sell out who you are in exchange for what you could have?

    journey of self discovery

    And, worse yet, have you been fake for so long that you no longer remember who the real you is?

    Some people fall into this category and are simply annoyed with themselves.  Wishing that they had never let things get as far as they have gotten. Others, however, are devastated. 

    You realize that in exchange for money, a title, an office, or holding down a job, you have completely lost your sense of self.

    Who are YOU right now?

    If for the sake of work you have gotten too far away from who you know yourself to be, don’t worry.  You will never lose your opportunity to choose to be different.

    “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
    ― Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

    You can choose who you want to be AND have a job that makes you proud of who you are. 

    You do not have to compromise what you are in order to please anyone.

    You can reclaim the real you that you want to be and change your work life for the better.

    How Do You Begin Finding Yourself?

    First, let’s be clear.  You may think the goal is finding yourself. But, in fact, you cannot really lose yourself

    You may believe that you are not being the real you, but the real you is exactly who you are right now.

    That’s because there is only one you.

    You may not like all the parts and pieces of you at the moment.  Or you may feel disconnected from the you that you have become. But who you are is defined by how you show up every day.

    finding yourself

    If you have a negative relationship with the real you, it is because there is a noticeable gap between who you are and who you want to be. This negative space can leave you feeling imbalanced, disingenuous, and just not real.  But do not beat up on yourself for getting to this place. 

    The reasons you got here were at one point likely sound and reasonable but don’t fit you today.

    How did you lose yourself?

    We all have compromised before in order to create peace.  Peace for others and peace for ourselves. 

    It is important to feel a sense of harmony, acceptance, and security in our environment. Gaining what we need in life can become easier when we are in the good favor of others.

    And so we work to create positive experiences with those with whom we share space.

    These are all good intentions.  But also risky decisions when repeated for too long or too intensely.  When you continually morph yourself to be in alignment with outside standards, you may begin to forget the standards that you hold solely for yourself.

    It is possible to reclaim this self awareness and to put yourself in alignment with what is important to you.

    Make a commitment to yourself today.  Who you want to be and who you are will be the same person starting right now

    Finding yourself involves taking steps to rediscover the essence of you. Then to exercise your freedom to move forward as the person that you really want to be.  

    “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
    ― Carl Gustav Jung

    Finding Yourself Through Self Discovery

    Self discovery is the result of examining yourself and, independently, identifying who and what you are. 

    While you may have been influenced by societal standards, the influence of those in your circle, or your observation of the world, you make the final decision of what definition applies to you.  To know who you are at your core and what you stand for requires internal assessment and willingness to be a quiet observer of oneself.

    There are innumerable approaches to embark on the journey of self discovery. 

    If you are a beginner in undergoing this exploratory examination, here are a couple methods that you can try:

    Self Discovery Method #1:  Personal Value Assessment

    A personal value assessment provides a means to examine, interpret, and choose what you consider to be most valuable to you.  Your values affect how you interact with the world and also how you react to others’ responses to you.

    Many forums, such as the Values Centre, offer assessments of this kind.  See their free example HERE. It takes minutes to complete and the outcome is a comprehensive report in response to your values selections. 

    You can learn what your core values say about you and how they impact your connection with others.

    Participating in this type of assessment is valuable, but not only for the report that you receive.  More importantly, it is the experience that you can gain from the questions that are asked.

    In the process of considering one value over another, you can start to reflect on what is truly important to you and why. You may find that when forced to choose and rank importance, your philosophy and practical application of your values are very different.

    No matter the outcome of your assessment, determining your true core values will help to bring clarity to your self-discovery and personal identity. 

    pathways to self discovery

    You will discover that your core values shape your behavior and your interpretation of the world around you.

    You make decisions on how you live, who you have in your life, and what drives you every day based on the principles that you have.

    When you are conscious of your core values, you then can consciously choose how you want to incorporate them into your daily life.

    Self Discovery Method #2: Core Values Journaling

    Another self discovery method is to independently and thoughtfully consider your core values.

    No report or outside opinion, just you thinking about you.

    You can do this through self-dialogue, meditative thought, or journaling.  You may find this Core Values Journal to be a useful tool to guide your self-exploration process.

    This particular journal offers a mixture of questions, self discovery journaling prompts, and open journaling pages to draw out an inner dialogue around your values.

    Unlike an outside assessment, you serve as the primary navigator towards learning and interpreting what is most important to you

    Core values journaling is not an all-inclusive means to determine your personal identity and self-definition.  However, the journal content can help you to create meaningful internal dialogue and to point your mind in the direction of self-discovery.

    The most important takeaway from these exercises is that you start to consider your own opinion.

    And once you identify your opinion, you can then examine if ,in your opinion, you live in accordance with your core values.

    To reach the outcome of being the true self you seek to be requires a genuine pursuit of your independent self discovery. When you know and can define who and what you are you can more easily create a definition for the authentic life you choose to live.

    How Can You Move From Finding Yourself to Being Yourself?

    self confidence

    Now that you have identified who and what you believe yourself to be, it is necessary to express yourself authentically. When you present to, communicate with, and engage with others in alignment with your true self you are at the same time honoring your self-expression.

    This is being yourself.

    To express yourself as the real you is to further clarify to yourself and others how your authentic self lives in everyday life.

    It can take bravery, vulnerability, and openness to shift from being overly outward-focused to including your inner self’s thoughts and opinions and sharing them outloud. 

    This can be particularly difficult at work when you may fear the consequences of what authenticity and self-expression could bring. However, if you continue to hide your authentic self, you may continue to feel a disconnect with or loss of your true self.

    • Are you restless with your job?
    • Do you feel disconnected with your work?
    • Are you unsatisfied with your boss?

    Any and all of these scenarios may be the result of your job, work content, or boss being misaligned with your core values. And in response, you align with the job instead of standing up for yourself.

    finding yourself again

    Honoring your authentic self-expression as it pertains to your work is another form of affirmation and acknowledgment of who you really are.  To maintain the legacy that is you, you must keep the core of you intact. 

    Don’t allow yourself to do the heavy lifting of finding yourself, only to abandon who you are for your job or those you work with

    5 Ways to Express Yourself Authentically at Work

    Here are some ideas on how to live and work in accordance with who you are;

    1. Be Honest

    Find comfort in speaking your truth versus trying to please the crowd at work. 

    This not only demonstrates your genuine self but also allows those around you to learn and become acclimated to the real you. 

    Honesty can be a breath of fresh air when conformity can leave many wondering if real responses are a thing of the past.  Feedback given with respect and thoughtfulness is appreciated, versus being considered rude or disharmonious. 

    Honesty creates the opportunity for engaging dialogue and shows consideration.  

    2. Speak Up

    confidence at work

    Be transparent with your thoughts, ideas, or recommendations. 

    When you are inspired to share, take confidence that your voice matters and your input is important.   Rather than an intrusion, consider that you are a valuable asset to others. 

    When you respect what you have to say often others will as well. Speaking up when you feel called to share trains you to feel safe when letting the real you show.

    3. Follow Your Gut

    You may not always have the facts and figures to back a decision, but you know your internal gut feeling. 

    Permit your senses to guide your actions and trust in your ability to rely on your sixth sense.  Likely it is derived from past experiences, gauging the current climate, and even an emotionally based inclination that makes sense to you. 

    All of these queues combined can provide you with your own unique read on a situation.  You only sharpen your intuitive skills when you practice using them regularly.  And you honor your authenticity when you recognize and respect that your gut instinct exists too.  

    4. Respect Your Boundaries

    setting boundaries according to your values and priorities

    You do not have to always be everything to everyone.  And you do not have an obligation to share space, time, or resources with others just because.

    Respectfully declining work beyond your scope or an after-work event you have no interest in is not a dealbreaker.  Instead, setting boundaries is an opportunity for you to honor your priorities and self-care

    Make a practice of saying no so that you can affirm your self-awareness of what is right for you.

    5. Expect Respect

    Everyone has their stressful days at work. 

    This does give license for you to be the recipient of another’s stress release.  When things go too far, respectfully let the other person know. 

    You also can take time away from those that seem to be in a toxic rut for days or weeks.  Respecting your personal space, your mental space, and your heart space is honoring your authenticity at the same time.

    The real you is an authentic you.  And the practice of authenticity permits you to stay connected to the full definition of who you are at the heart.

    Practice living and interacting authentically to ensure you will not let unintended conformity remove the essence of the real you.

    To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person



    The real you is a part of you no matter where you go, including at your job.

    However, in order to maintain a harmonious or successful experience at work, you may have felt that you had to leave the real you behind. When you fake who you are in order to appease others you can feel as if you have lost yourself and suffer the outcome of feeling disconnected or disingenuous.

    But don’t worry. You can always choose to let who you are and how you show up be aligned each and every day. You can be 100% yourself without sacrificing your career goals. 

    Whether you use tools like a personal value assessment, a core values journal, or just quiet discussions with yourself, take time to explore self discovery.  Use what you find as your personal priorities and core values as your means to infuse your unique expression into your daily work life.

    By finding yourself, developing your self-definition, and showing up fully as you are, you will feel real once again!

    Have you struggled with comfortably being yourself for the sake of making other people comfortable? Share your story in the Comments section below.